Day 179 - The Salesmen in my Head Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am in the Mall/shops to fear that I will forget to buy something that I might need, seeing and realizing that as I walk around with this fear I will look at everything in the shops from the starting point of fear that I might be forgetting to get it and to within this create everything in the Mall/Shops as stuff that I need/require, not seeing and realizing that this is a irrational fear that is programmed into me from society and the Media as a child where I have always been conditioned with needing stuff that isnt really needed, as I can see that ancient people from long ago could live with barely anything we have today and still here we are, so why the fuck do we suddenly need more shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by irrational fear of LOSS when and as I am in the mall/shops.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am in the mall to condition myself with rituals and patterns of buying stuff such as sweets/drinks/foods and other things within the Idea that going to the mall means MY TIME and within my time I deserve stuff for me, not seeing and realizing that this behavior accumulates at the end of each month where I would end up spending a shit load of money without noticing it, and to within this also not see that I ma in fact contributing to the destruction of nature as everything in the Malls/shops comes from the nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am at the mall/shops spend my money on random crap just because I have the Idea that it is my hard earned money and I MUST therefore spend the money on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am within what I am buying and spending my money on voting for a world that does not support a life that is best for all life, and that this behavior is psychoanalytically as I have no regard for all life but only my own and how I experience myself when I spend money on senseless shit that was made with no purpose but to make money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blindly spend money every time I am at the mall on the impulses that surrounds me as the shops are the temptations and to lead myself into temptation through participating in internal conversations/backchat and to always convince myself to why I need to buy it or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my basics needs as a Human is really simplistic such as food/water/housing and that basic foods that support my body and water that support my body and a well functioning home that support me is all that is required and anything more is all self created beliefs of brainwashing and mindlessness behavior that was/is deliberate used by corporations to make billions and support a world of inequality and where our planet is raped for these needs/behaviors/patterns of each being voting for it all when purchased.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I buy something to not question my starting point as who I am within buying the product and if what I am buying is in fact real or just a energy satisfactory point of the mind that drains my wallet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am about to buy something to not question my motivations and why I am buying it, seeing and realizing that if I am buying something that isn’t necessary or in fact part of my survival that it is me being a brainwashed zombie following an energy feeling/emotion to satisfy something that isn’t real, and to not see and realize that this is how money disappears and how I get addicted to spending money on shit just to feel good for a moment and then my house/room is in a year of two full of crap and wasted, and to within this not see the GLOBAL effect it has on out one and only planet as this happens in billions of homes and then the shit get thrown away and ends up in our oceans and our soil and kills of billions of Life forms and that more must be made which requires more raping of our planet to take place just for that one moment we Feel like buying something instead of buying things that is in FACT required that is relevant to LIFE here in earth in consideration of ALL LIFE.

I commit myself to when and as I am in the Shops/mall to breathe and to consider what I buy within common sense and practicality and to not waste money on mindless spending where I sell things to myself in my head.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself having to “think” and convince myself to buy something to stop and realize that I am in that moment making it up if I need it or not, because I realize that if it is in fact a need and necessary I do not have to think about it because it is a need, such as buying a drink as my body must have water, of food as my body must eat or to buy the things that I know practically help me function within the current system that is here and to not waste money on BS.

I commit myself to when and as I am in the Mall/shops to Breathe and to direct and move myself to get to point A and to point |B and to not give into temptation, as this is a clear indication that I am not deciding what I am buying but rather a feeling/emotion/thought that is the result of memory and thus part of the brainwashing/mind control.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself making things up in my mind that id based on Fear of missing something and not getting what I might need, to stop and breathe and to realize if it isn’t a practical point then I can let it go and stop the fear and realize I am here as simple being functioning in a complicated system, and thus my basic needs is simple and anything else that is required of me to buy to help me function in the current system is practical Till the system is changed to Equal Money system where all Life is supported from birth till death and all basic needs are met I must remain practical within what is here and not irrational fear motivation that lead to buying Crap.