Day 62 – My body is in a constant modelling show Part 2.

This is a continuation of day 61 – The Body isn’t a picture part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my body to other bodies, either in magazines/TV or in my environment and see/judge my body as less than other bodies due to physical appearances, realizing that even if the physical appearance is different the functionality of the body is EXACTLY the same and that is what matters and what the body is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as less than other bodies due to me comparing my body in how it “looks” to other bodies and how they look within the belief that how a physical body looks determines what it is able to do, realizing that this is just a belief and that all human physical bodies are the exact same within their functionality unless one suffers from a physical disease or any other physical point that actually makes the body not function or able to function as iti s intended.

I forgive myself that I have not realized that all bodies are the exact same in their functionality and how they look is but simply a picture, a look and has no relevance to LIFE or what actually matters within this world as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as less than other bodies due to certain physical parts that may look bigger, stronger, slimmer, smaller, and to within that compare my body to the other body and completely ignore/neglect the actual purpose of the physical body within the idea that the picture the body presents is real and that matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than other bodies if what I am comparing myself to isn’t equal or almost the same as another body and within this create self judgment and ideas and beliefs about self that is completely not necessary yet allowing it to consume me and to actually take over my world as my focus to either reach a different physical look/appearance and to change myself into the desired picture and within this completely miss out on the actual body functions and how to improve self with the body as how it functions and NOT how it looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as tiny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as skinny regardless of the actual physical things I am capable of doing, clearly indicating I am after looks and not what works practically in and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that how I look determines how capable I am, realizing that my four years at Desteni Farm and working on the farm building homes, and doing lots of other stuff have shown me that I am capable in and as my body and that how big I am and how I look has no value at all to what the body can do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to look good in my physical body only to attract females for sex, realizing that If I was all alone on earth with myself then how I look would not have mattered at all, showing and revealing the actual value of physical looks as Being NO VALUE AT ALL.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as big.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself and my body for not being the picture I desire and thus living in separation of my body and actually reaching its full potential within its actual purpose/functions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my body as if it is in a modelling competition every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my body under severe stress through constantly comparing my body with everything and everyone all day as if it is in a modelling competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly compare my body with other bodies as if it is in a meddling show and that there will be a prize to be won every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell my body it is ugly through constantly punishing my body as if it in a constant modelling show that must perform everyday or else!!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body through acting/walking and behaving in certain ways during my day as if I am in a constant modelling show and that those moves will make me win the show and I might get a prize, realizing it is all a delusion of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my body under constant pressure as if it is in a modelling show all day and to tell my body through my actions that I hate my body/myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my body as being something separate and that I can abuse and do with as I please as long as I as the mind consciousness systems are satisfied that I could suck all the energy I want out of the body not realizing I am actually sucking all the energy out of ME and thus killing myself faster and abusing myself at the same time just to maintain a certain idea/picture presentation of myself everyday in order to feel accepted and wanted and looked at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I am punished for the physical body I have within how it looks, not considering that my body fucking functions and this is something to be grateful for in Capitalism, as there are millions of kids that do not have full functioning bodies due to all the inconsiderate things capitalism do to life every second that has a influence on all LIFE and thus children of all races are born with new physical diseases every fucking day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ungrateful for me as my body one and equal to have a full functioning body that gives me the chance this life time to be as effective as I can be to move and direct me and to rebirth myself as life and to not take this for granted and to STOP the current money system as Capitalism that is destroying our world and the people within it that takes away children’s chances of having a dignified life that if fun to live due to consumerism and what the system has to do and the lengths the system has to go to keep on making money eve at the expense of our very own future.

To be continued on ... my body is designed to attract women as Self Abuse Part 3