I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my body to other bodies, either
in magazines/TV or in my environment and see/judge my body as less than other
bodies due to physical appearances, realizing that even if the physical
appearance is different the functionality of the body is EXACTLY the same and
that is what matters and what the body is.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as less than other bodies
due to me comparing my body in how it “looks” to other bodies and how they look
within the belief that how a physical body looks determines what it is able to
do, realizing that this is just a belief and that all human physical bodies are
the exact same within their functionality unless one suffers from a physical
disease or any other physical point that actually makes the body not function
or able to function as iti s intended.
I forgive myself that
I have not realized that all bodies are the exact same in their functionality
and how they look is but simply a picture, a look and has no relevance to LIFE
or what actually matters within this world as LIFE.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as less than other bodies
due to certain physical parts that may look bigger, stronger, slimmer, smaller,
and to within that compare my body to the other body and completely
ignore/neglect the actual purpose of the physical body within the idea that the
picture the body presents is real and that matters.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than other bodies if what I am
comparing myself to isn’t equal or almost the same as another body and within
this create self judgment and ideas and beliefs about self that is completely
not necessary yet allowing it to consume me and to actually take over my world
as my focus to either reach a different physical look/appearance and to change
myself into the desired picture and within this completely miss out on the
actual body functions and how to improve self with the body as how it functions
and NOT how it looks.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as tiny.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as skinny regardless of the
actual physical things I am capable of doing, clearly indicating I am after
looks and not what works practically in and as this physical reality.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that how I look determines how
capable I am, realizing that my four years at Desteni Farm and working on the
farm building homes, and doing lots of other stuff have shown me that I am
capable in and as my body and that how big I am and how I look has no value at
all to what the body can do.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to look good in my
physical body only to attract females for sex, realizing that If I was all
alone on earth with myself then how I look would not have mattered at all,
showing and revealing the actual value of physical looks as Being NO VALUE AT
ALL.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as big.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself and my body for not being the picture I desire and thus living in separation of my body and actually reaching its full potential within its actual purpose/functions
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my body as if it is in a modelling
competition every day.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to put my body under severe stress through
constantly comparing my body with everything and everyone all day as if it is
in a modelling competition.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly compare my body with other
bodies as if it is in a meddling show and that there will be a prize to be won every
day.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to tell my body it is ugly through
constantly punishing my body as if it in a constant modelling show that must
perform everyday or else!!
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body through acting/walking and
behaving in certain ways during my day as if I am in a constant modelling show
and that those moves will make me win the show and I might get a prize,
realizing it is all a delusion of self.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to put my body under constant pressure as if
it is in a modelling show all day and to tell my body through my actions that I
hate my body/myself.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my body as being something
separate and that I can abuse and do with as I please as long as I as the mind consciousness
systems are satisfied that I could suck all the energy I want out of the body
not realizing I am actually sucking all the energy out of ME and thus killing
myself faster and abusing myself at the same time just to maintain a certain idea/picture presentation of myself everyday in order to feel accepted and wanted and looked at.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if I am punished for the physical
body I have within how it looks, not considering that my body fucking functions
and this is something to be grateful for in Capitalism, as there are millions
of kids that do not have full functioning bodies due to all the inconsiderate
things capitalism do to life every second that has a influence on all LIFE and
thus children of all races are born with new physical diseases every fucking
day.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to be ungrateful for me as my body one and
equal to have a full functioning body that gives me the chance this life time
to be as effective as I can be to move and direct me and to rebirth myself as
life and to not take this for granted and to STOP the current money system as
Capitalism that is destroying our world and the people within it that takes
away children’s chances of having a dignified life that if fun to live due to
consumerism and what the system has to do and the lengths the system has to go
to keep on making money eve at the expense of our very own future.
To be continued on ...
my body is designed to attract women as Self Abuse Part 3
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