Day 33 - The control Bully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control my fear and reactions instead of dealing with who I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as contained fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contain the fear with in me as a way of control, within the believe that as long as I am able to control my contained fear that I am in control, realizing that the fear is in control and thus have side effects such as bullying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take all the fear that I allow within myself and to bottle it up within myself from the believe that fear is wrong and bad and that I am weak if I show fear - realizing that within the attempt to control the fear within me I am as Who I accept and allow myself to be and to try and control life outside of me within ever moment, realizing this causes me  to live within fear and anticipation and thus I live with in constant reactions and abusive behavioral patterns that is a side effect from holding in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can control reality and all situations/scenarios - realizing that through time in the past it has been proven and shown to me that I can not control all of reality and that which is outside of me, but that I can only decide outcomes as who I am within situations/scenarios coming up/happening and to accordingly act with in the best interest of all life as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as mind control over myself with in containing fear and play outs on reality - realizing that with in existing as a controlled self I am not allowing myself to deal with points such as fear effectively and thus suppress the point with in control and so create my own limitations and reactions in life as I project and anticipate the contained fear with in me manifesting with outside of me, which leads to external release points such as bullying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of control with in me as a reason/justification for reacting and getting angry when I see other beings aren't controlling themselves as I do, as this is a jealousy point because I see that my fear that I am controlling isn't real and thus I fear the fear isn't real and so want to get angry and impose my fear onto others so that I may feel save and right and in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose my point of self contained fear of life within and as control onto other life forms/beings either through physical abuse or emotional abuse as to feel things are fair, giving reason for why other must fear and feel the same as me even if it isn't real and thus feeling in control, realizing this isn't best for all life or self at all - as what I am imposing onto life as my own control through my actions is creating fear with in other life forms/beings and thus more danger for myself and others and actually creating my own fear through my fear.

I commit myself to breath and to check myself and to see if I am in a manifested pattern of abuse such as imposing my control onto other life/beings though my own fears and insecurities, and to stop through writing and applying self forgiveness and to live the correction as to stop the mind created control and to remain here with in and as the physical with in what is practical and common sense as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I commit myself to take self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist within me as my own fears and to not suppress them or judge them, to walk the points with in writing, self forgiveness and to release myself from the bottled up fears and to stop manifesting a world in fear through control.