Day 375 - Power Games Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make life a game of power, to see who's got the most power and who is the weakest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as weak, or the weakest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others having power over me and that I have lost the game, and thus as I am a loser I must obey or submit to the winner, or become their friend and be in their good books, in order to make up for the loss. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make life about gaining power over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not have power over others that I am weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure and less than others if I do not have some form of power over them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not have power over others that they have power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if someone has power over me, that I must fear them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea of someone having power over me and that they can somehow mind control me or make me feel bad about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea that someone has power over me from having certain abilities that I don’t and that they can use it against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with everyone in my world to see who’s got power over who, and within this establish a self-definition of myself, that is either of superiority or inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how I am creating all my fear within my world through competing with everyone to see who’s got power over who, as I see and realize that when and as I do this, that I am creating points of fear that isn’t really there, and can only exist because I am playing this game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek power over others to feel secure, seeing and realizing that I only do this because I feel insecure about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I seek power over others, in any form that I can find power within, if it is physical or mental or metaphysical, I am creating points of fear within myself and my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I play the game of seeking power over others, that I will find people that I can over power and that this will create a point of submission within me and my world and thus give complete fear/power towards the other persona and thus imprison myself within what this other person thinks about me or see in me or have towards me as I will become self-conscious within this persons presence because I believe now that this person really has power over me simply because my game did not work out, which is all bullshit and only mental delusion.