I am Insecure, What do you think of me – Day 346

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to CARE SOOOO much what other people think about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about self-conscious Ideas/images of what others want/prefer from me so much that I compromise my entire integrity and instead change when it isn’t necessary .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I care TOO much about all the small things that is of consciousness that I make myself insecure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I walk around thinking and caring about what others think of me the whole time that I will feel insecure, and that it isn’t even the others doing it but me to myself only.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Focus and care about myself as the IMAGE of myself that I have within my mind and to forget myself as the physical where there is no fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when and as I am within my mind participating within a Image and Likeness of what I think I am supposed to be by the expectations created by others through their words and actions towards me that I will Be Insecure as I am IN the mind, and to get OUT of the IN security I must live out as the physical OUT of my mind and in my breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live inwards instead of living HERE as me as my body as My sound as my movement and as the breathe in each moment where there is No Insecure where I attempt the whole time to keep myself In and secure from what I perceive that can harm my EGO, seeing and realizing that when and as I live IN side as the mind I am existing as the EGO and thus I am creating a EGO that can be harmed, when in fact it isn’t real, it is simply an image and likeness of myself, a false Idol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use submissiveness and obedience as a way to protect my Insecurity through accepting and allowing the subtle abuse happening as a way to avoid and standing up within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be easy and soft with Myself as to only protect my sensitive ego that I have created though years of mimicking my actual living with the image and likeness within myself that isn’t real, in the fear that, that image and likeness will be shattered and the true real me that I have suppressed comes out all at once as a reaction, instead of living me as the physical daily as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about what others have to say as Opinions/ideas/believes about anything and everything and myself and to make it a point of caring instead of keeping what is good and fucking debunking the bullshit with common sense/questions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear speaking up and to voice myself within the idea that I am created of myself as the false Image and likeness of the mind I have of myself that it just isn’t me, I do not do it, seeing and realizing that it is only so because I have created it to avoid conflict, to avoid what others think of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself and what other people think about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my entire existence around what other people think about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR what other people think about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire that others only think good about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear other people’s reactions towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to stand within stability and common sense in the face of arguments with others, seeing and realizing that this fear only exist because I have given everyone else permission OVER me as more than me as I have given others ALL the power within my mind to define ME for me through Caring SOO much what others think of me, that they can literally create me through me not standing as my own self directive principal within and as Breathe as LIFE.