Day 266 – Me Myself and Parrots Part 4

Continuing from:
Day 263 Me Myself and Parrots Part 1
Day 264 Me Myself and Parrots Part  2
Day 26 5 – Me Myself and Parrots Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that for the “relationship” between me and the parrots can only work if there is trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “HOPE” that there will be trust in the future between me and the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sea nd realize that to “hope” for trust will never built trust and only create expectations and disappointments that leads to anger and self hatred that leads to me reacting and in the end becoming harmful to others (parrots).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Trust is something that is developed through MY living actions that is proven and consistent in time and space that is genuine as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the hope that one day there might be trust between me and the parrots instead of realizing that I must create that trust as Who I am, not as who I pretend to be as that will create real trust that will be able to stand the test of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be to lazy to make the effort to built real trust that is physical and not a dream world in y head of someday maybe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create pictures of me and what I want the parrots to be with me and to then try and attempt to place the parrots in this picture of my mind, not seeing and realizing that this will create conflict and is abuse as it requires force to get the parrots to submit into the picture that might never happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project a picture of what I desire for the relationship with the parrots to be from my mind into reality and to then attempt to play/create it as the picture, not seeing and realizing that the picture in my head is but only a picture and thus I will never succeed and always end up reacting and being angry and have a “bad” relationship with the parrots as I will even blame them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a thought picture within my mind where I see myself happy with the parrots and where I can lay with them and them with me all together and just being awesome together and to then react towards the parrots when this is not happening in reality and to then get angry and mean towards them, seeing and realizing how I have set myself up in a game of polarity with the parrots through living in my mind as a fantasy world and not considering EVERYTHING of and as the physical to be effective and in fact live in oneness and equality with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Doubt myself to be able to stop the mind projections and all the beliefs/ideas and to stand here as the physical one and equal to move myself within creating a effective relationship with me and the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through so many “bad” experiences with the parrots to have judged myself as incapable of ever having a one and equal relationship with them that I not live in separation of them as fear and self self-judgment, seeing and realizing that I must stop the Bad energy connection I have made and to stop all positive future projections I have created of the parrots and to work with what is here as the physical and to give myself a new slate where I do not hold the past over my own head or block myself with a wall of a future projection from being effective here as breathe with the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the behavior of the parrots from the past against them and to already cast them into judgment for their past and to accordingly act and behave as if they have already done that which I expect from them, seeing and realizing how I in fact create the past again here in the present as the future.

To be continued.