Day 84 – My Personal Army of Characters – Mean character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mean towards someone or something just because I feel they are being stupid.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean character that blames and gives fault to others when I know I am the broken one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean character that chases other people away or other living beings just so that I do not have to face myself as a broken character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean character that will step in and take action when I feel I am being attacked or personally invaded to defend what I a hiding within myself as a broken character.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have created an army of characters to defend a character that is hiding from facing myself as being broken and not whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attack others when they are pushing the right buttons where the weak/broken character is revealed and so the mean character steps in to avoid and defend the weak point. Thus accepting and allowing the weakness to remain and thus the character.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the mean character requires the weak and broken character to exist as it gives the mean character purpose and energy to exist, realizing that as long as I give into the mean character to defend my self interest and weak points I can never grow and strengthen my weaknesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mean to other people just to make them seem like the problem, when it is obvious to myself that I am the problem as I reacted and had to use a mean character to handle the situation instead of me self honestly facing the point in breathe as change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the mean character give power to the mean character to play out in my life where I as the character keep myself enslaved to beliefs of myself as being weak or broken and thus never changing for what is best for all life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I am mean I am acting in the moment in character as a response to defend something within me and that it has nothing to do with the other person, and thus I only create more regret and shame for myself as I was playing a role within my mind as a fake character that does not consider LIFE or other beings. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the role of the character of meanness within ignorance to what is behind the role and the character and not considering the physical play-outs of such character that is only defending self interest and not standing as what is best for all life in all ways. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am the creator of such character that will go to war to protect it’s self interest for no real good reason but a experience of self based on judgments of self and opinions that self has accepted and allowed to influence self, and thus it is to take self responsibility for myself within self honesty as that which is best for all life in all ways. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing a role and not breathing and and as the physical, to stop and breathe and to direct myself as what is best for all life in all ways and let no self interest come out and play as it isn't real.

I commit myself to write and explore this point of playing roles and multiple characters of illusions and to take it apart as the creator of it. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing a character to remind myself it isnt real and I can simply stop and breathe and realize what is real here in and as the physical one and equal as me.