Day 16 - Emotions within words.

Why is it every time I have something to say that makes a lot of sense turns out to be a fuck up when I speak, why is it that when I speak up and say what needs to be said it turns out to become a mess, why is it that when I face a point of conflict with in my world that it always turn out that I did not get the points through with in the conflicts situation, why is it that every time I have the opportunity to support and direct myself with in words it turns out to only create more shit.

The answer is easy, I have seen it and I know it, I add emotion to my words, this compromises me to be here and to direct me, as the emotion is now directing me, as I then rely on energy to move me, and because I add emotion as a energy as a negative energy I allow myself to be able to be moved, shifted in energies depending on what the other being does. And when the energy changes with in me I change.

This is not best forall life and definitely not for me, it only creates regret and never ending conflict with in and with out.

Self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add emotions to my words with in the belief that if I add emotions that it will be more and powerful. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I add emotions to my words that it will be more and powerful and thus with in this I see and realize that I do this in the hope that it will persuade others to not go into conflict or arguments with me, as I want to avoid them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add emotions in my words to avoid people from going into conflict or arguments with me, with in this I see and realize that I use emotions from the starting point of manipulating conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate conversations with in adding emotions with in my words to try and persuade people from not going into arguments or conflict with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through believing that emotions will help me with in getting the message out and clear and to not have to argue about it, realizing that through adding emotions I am allowing myself to be open to be directed by any other energy that might come my way and loose the points and all authority with in the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become emotional when I am faced with having to word myself out, with in the fear of that my words will not be heard, and thus I believe the emotion will make it seem more and be heard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my words as inferior words and that they can not be heard unless it has emotion within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself with in getting emotional about speaking up about things, realizing that the emotions is the past as experiences that I bring to the present and place it with in the present and thus I re-live my past with in the emotion, instead of being here in each breath with in each word expressing myself as them here and clear to bring the message through clear and without any past projected baggage to make it more and dramatic so that I may impose onto others what I am trying to express so that they may feel less than, and not go into arguments or conflict situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use emotions as a defense to get others to move away from me to not engage in conversations I am having to avoid all conflict and arguments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use emotions with in conversations with in my words and through this sabotage myself when I get all emotional and energetic as the conversations turn into a constant reactive state instead of a directive statement with in common sense and that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself with in effective communication through adding emotions with in my words that sabotage me as my words as the word become only reactive instead of being directive, through this I see that I have created a fear with in having conversations  as I have only proven to myself in time through adding emotions and becoming reactive that I can not trust myself with in conversations with in my words, thus I realize I have to stop all emotional connections through clearing all words and to breathe when i speak and make sure all my words are clear to have clear communication.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create distrust with in myself through time with in adding emotions to my words that sabotages me and my communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid all conflict situations and argument with in my world through the fear of becoming emotional and reactive with in my words and thus only end up regretting saying anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back chat with in my mind through having thoughts towards other people and situations and with in this create an emotional charge towards the situations as I have made it personal with in me, realizing that if I talk to myself in my mind as energy that I am adding energy to my words as emotions and with in this already giving away all my authority with in any point to speak out as I have already sabotaged myself in my mind, I realize that any reaction or any emotion with in me that I have had as a conversation with in myself has been tainted  and thus if I speak it out I will only be emotional and reactive instead of being directive and clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make thing personal when they are not, I realize that any point I make personal even if it is about myself that I am adding emotion and thus I am compromising myself from communicating effectively and clearly about the point, and so I also realize that if I make it personal that it will and can only turn out as a situation of arguments and conflict instead of assistance and support to stand up as life and rebirth self with in that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to not speak when I see that I have emotions added to my words with in myself, to write and to self forgive myself till the words are clear and there are no reaction or emotion.

I commit myself to breathe and see my words with in me and if they are best for all life or personal and with in self interest and to stop all self interest and personal emotions to stop all self sabotage and compromise so that I may communicate effectively and clearly, to stop regret.

I commit myself to take situations that I have to face with in my world and to write it out and to clear it with in my writing and to with in my writing give myself a clear direction on how to deal with the situation/conflict so that I may live the change and to not postpone and suppress the points but to instead get them out with in common sense and clarity instead of reactions and emotions that end up back firing to end the pattern and rebirth myself as my written word to the living word.