Focus, Silence and Interruptions – inner eruption

 

Silence, focus, sudden noise, interruptions, inner eruptions take place, reactions flow over, shouting, screaming, controlling, dominating, then quite, silence and focus.  

A For self awareness I suggest starting this series of interviews here
Click on the name - Self Awareness steps for the Elite - Introduction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot focus when I do not have silence within my environment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to the rule of that I can only focus when I have silence within my environment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be distracted by sound/noise within my environment when and as I am busy with something particular that requires my focus. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from FOCUS and to thus make focus a thing out there that I must obtain and so within this create certain rules and setups where I believe only once those specific rules and setups are in place, such as silence, that only then I can focus, and thus within this imply that I am never focussed or the directive principle within my every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that focus is something I must practice and so I seek and want to obtain the right environments where there is NO distractions for me to train and practice my focus within what I am doing, and thus within this rule I have made for myself I will always fail as noise will always be here and not seeing and realizing that practicing my focus within specific conditions limits my focus to those specific conditions and thus the practice will never leave those specific conditions unless I drop all conditions and walk focus as me in each and every breathe and to stop the distractions within me as the thoughts/feelings/emotions that arise within me when I feel someone else is fucking with my focus by making noise/sounds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone within my reality comes to me to get my attention while I am busy with something I need to focus on, to lose focus almost immediately and to within this access anger and frustration and so within this act out the anger and frustration where I now attempt to control my reality through my sound and behaviour to get control of my environment to once again have focus and to focus on what I am doing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that focus is ME as breath in each and every breath and thus no matter what comes within my reality, that according to the mind as energy should trigger me and or distract me, to remain focussed on the breathing, not necessarily on what I am doing, as what I am doing mustn’t determine who I am, and so I see and realize that as long as any energy moves within me and not me as Breathe clear and here, then I am already not focussed and only deluding myself in the silence I believe helps me focus which is a mind focus, focussing energy which can always be disturbed and thus have a short fuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate focus from Breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate discipline from breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate self-responsibility from breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate flexibility from breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate Care from breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate ME from breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that Breath is here as each and every breath is all that is here as everything that is here and thus to not breathe is to walk in conflict with what is here as reality, where the mind is finding ways to be within a polarity.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully embrace breath as the solution and to from within and as breath walk HERE as life and to direct me as breath in each and every given moment as breath and not to accept and allow the mind to direct me here into polarities as thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek silence outside of me, when breath is silence within and as me and thus nothing outside of me can change anything within me, as there must be nothing with me but breath/life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate focus as the word focus from and as me as my breath, and within so doing seek focus outwards, and so always running after focus and moments and specific setups/environments never finding focus or silence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my environment for me not being able to focus, and thus not see and realize that the blame that come up is due to how I am experiencing myself within the moment of feeling disturbed which is anger, frustration and thus it is within me that the disturbance is taking place and that is what needs to be changed.  

On Blame, check it out here -> Blame: The Hidden Nature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I feel someone isn’t considering me and or my environment when and as I want to focus to get upset and angry and to within a second, without notice, tone my voice and shut down any disturbances using my reality and circumstances as a reason and excuse for why and how I can act out my frustration or anger that I experience within me and to then have what I see as control of my environment as to control what I experience within me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as long as I act out my anger and frustration to have silence to be able to focus, and through this control my environment that I will in return create an angry and frustrated environment/people as they will pick up on what I am experiencing through my behaviour and voice, thus I see and realize that I must clear and fully take responsibility for any and all experiences within me till nothing moves within me and to commit myself to NOT speak or say anything as long as there is an energy within me and to focus on ME as breath here first and foremost, even if this means NEVER saying anything again, as it will or might not ever be necessary when I have taken and realized my creation of me as this point and thus focus is me and silence is me as Breathe and no blame or anger or frustration can exist.

To learn more on Feelings, emotions and thoughts I suggest starting this series on the Atlanteans -  

 Click here to start - > Atlanteans - The Beginning - Part 1