Day 488 – Forgive ME

I know, you who are reading this, you are stuck in a place that feels like you will never be able to get out of it, like you have tried many times before to change this stuckness, but you have already accepted your life is just the way it is.

You have tried many times to change your life, you have tried many times to change yourself, but the patterns seem to just be stronger, it seems impossible to change who you are, you know you NEED to change, you know your situation needs to change, you know that this change is literally just in front of you, and that is probably what is the most frustrating part about the story of change, it is always RIGHT here, you can feel it, you know it is here, yet there is something else that just isn’t here to take that one step, from a limited victimized self to a self that is living their utmost potential.

Sometimes you might just feel like screaming and to get it out of the way, to just let it all go, to just say - till here and no further, but even that scream, you hold it back. Because you realize it won’t change anything but maybe hurt your vocal cords, or perhaps because you know the scream inside of you isn’t possible to be screamed.

You have a job, you have to earn money, you have a family, either your own or the one you come from, you have fun moments and you have things that you do sometimes that you enjoy, but when you are alone by yourself, that is when the real shit comes through, the part that no one knows, the part that is hidden, it is your burden to carry (you tell yourself).

Life is one big mess, we have political problems, we have economic problems, we have global environmental problems, we have so many problems in this world that needs to be sorted out, but it is all too much, because you, just like me, have to deal at the same time with where we are stuck, where we were born and our own life’s, you know you need to work and earn money and you know this is taking most of your living of your LIFE and you know that the job you have isn’t secure because the system we live in is the most unstable system we could have ever build a society on and make people dependent on it.

You see your planet being destroyed piece by piece and yet you know there is nothing you individually can do right now to change it, so you continue your days as all ways, just go to work, survive and earn money. Then spend the money you earn to make your part as your life in this world not so shitty as much as possible, to buy a chocolate or have a cuppachino, because you know having the money to buy something like that in a moment when you want to is a comfort, as 75% of the other people on earth do not have that luxury, I mean only 1,5 billion people have access to the internet, well can afford to be on it. So even just switching on the WIFI and browsing useless sites is like a confirmation to yourself that all is still okay (for you that is).

Yes I understand, what else is there to do, what else can you possibly spend your time on and your money, it isn’t like the world is going to change tomorrow by doing something different now and for the next ten years, so instead you will do nothing, or try and do something, but only bare minimal, because the idea is in your head, that maybe something will change, or maybe not, and give the maybe not a bigger chance inside yourself, and because of that do as little as possible for in-case nothing changes you didn’t waste your time on doing all the things that you did do, to maybe change the world. But who knows. You know.

And here you are again, a time loop, each year after year after year, standing in front the mirror of self-reflection, having to make that one decision to change, yet year after year the pattern has already been patterned through your own behavior to do the same thing as the year before, halfhearted, a big disbelief that guides the decision, a disbelief patterned only by yourself through your own actions, not realizing that all the evidence of no change is directly leading back to your own actions, the bread crumbs lay in a circle, like a snake eating its own tail, senseless isn’t it?

Do you see now why you always know that the moment for change is right here, it is as if it is just in front of you, you just have to make that one different move or decision and to live it, but you don’t, but you know you can do it NOW right here, you know you have that power, you know inside of yourself that it is the most possible thing ever, and the sad part is, because you know it is right here and that you know you can do it here in the breath that is present, you have simply created another belief, I can or might as well do it tomorrow then, why not? I know I can – so why now, what is one more day to wait. This is where the scary honest part comes in, you realize that you actually have come to find comfort in your limited version of yourself, you have actually come to enjoy the abuse of life of yourself onto yourself, you actually enjoy all the limitations, the FEAR has become the beacon of trust, as soon as fear arise, you rather follow that, you have learned to trust the fear.

And so your days continue day after day the same, even when you participate in movements for change, you know it will soon just become part of your daily routine of comfort, you know that soon this movement of change is still within your comfort zone, your boarders of comfort lined out inside of your own mind through society and all the systems that is here as the very things you want to change you find comfort within, you know that soon this movement of change that you are participating within will simply remain the same movement, the movement won’t change, it won’t really do anything in this world and soon you will just participate within this movement for change as if it is an activity, nothing real, nothing substantial, not pushing it as far you can push yourself, because you aren’t pushing yourself, that maybe of it won’t change anything and half-heartedness got the bigger chance inside of yourself, now minimal movement becomes the goal within the movement for change, it is like laying in hospital on life support, instead of supporting LIFE.

And now, if you can see what I am saying, if you can relate to what I am saying, you will understand the heading of this post, it isn’t about forgiving ME the writer of this post, as everything in the Universe leads back to who you are in reverse, we must change the heading of Forgive me, to self-forgiveness, you must forgive yourself. Because in each and every moment that you know you have the opportunity to change, to change the moment to bring forth that utmost potential in yourself, where you know you can do it now but instead do not, and you feel that there is just something missing, then here I am saying, that something that is missing is you forgiving yourself, you can feel these word in your core, you just want to scream it, but you know that is just an accumulation.

Instead take a practical step, take a breathe and make the change, forgive yourself for whatever reason in that moment is already pre decided in your mind, in the moment that you are going to use to justify your change and the change to this world and instead let go of fear, let go of the sadness that keeps accumulating inside yourself for not standing for yourself, and live. Be alive.

There is a very fine line between actual change and just change, see the difference is in the words, just change is Justified change, where one can still justify their change to others as a reason/way for an excuse to remain in a comfort zone in alignments with the abuse of the world that exist here, to not seem that far out, yet isn’t that what is required to bring actual change to a world that if literally fucked, change that is far out from this current world, isn’t that the only real indication that there is real change, what is scientific proof if it isn’t first met with research and proof that seems or is far out, and then proven correct over time, and soon implemented. But fear takes the cake. And to clarify, do not confuse actual change with irrational change, irrational change is when it isn’t in alignment with all that is here, it is a change that isn’t best for all. I mean changing self in a manner of living what is best for all should bring all people together, it should bring realness to life, it should bring real joy to life, and it should bring a change forth in others as you. Not fear and irrationality and discord.

Perhaps the fear for actual change is the misunderstanding or what actual change is, the fear of the unknown, would we prefer a world that gets fucked by war and famine and bloodshed and tears, or rather a world that is shaken by some real common sense and self-honesty and new messages and ways to life that can bring resolve to the problems we have personally and on a global scale where NONE of the bloodshed and tears is required. Which fear wins, most people prefer war and death over having a bad social status. How messed up is that.

I forgive Myself..

Day 487 - Desteni is the Red pill, not the Blue pill - Matrix

The world is Fucked, plain and simple. The world is fucked because of each and every individual human being that has existed in the past and currently.

We as the Humans can not excuse ourselves form this simple fact. To do so, we will be abdicating our responsibility and thus our power to do anything about fixing this world.

For every child being raped or murdered or that is dying/suffering from starvation or a lack of proper nutrition or shelter (basic needs) and for every animal on land or in the ocean and in the air, for every plant and bug and every single things that has been abused to a level that defy what the apparent human stands for as morality and being humane. It is literally the opposite.

To make it more clear in terms of making sure everyone gets the point that they are in fact responsible for every single thing happening on this planet that is NOT in the best interest of and as LIFE, I will state the following – even if you do nothing every day and do not do any “good” or “bad” you are HERE, and this world is fucked right now. See that equation, it includes everyone as being directly responsible, a baby born into this world right now is born with this responsibility by the mathematical equation of YOU + HERE + what is HERE+ what you are born into+ Oneness = YOU are responsible.

It does not matter if you live a good life and do good all day till you die, this is OUR planet and our consent is given to those doing harm by our actions to do something about it, if you do nothing to change it to what is best for all life, you are giving your mutual consent for the party to abuse as they choose, you are directly responsible for a child molester molesting children that you have no idea of or what they are doing, because the fact is, you are here and it is here happening = you are giving consent by its mere existence and it isn’t changing at all.

Hopefully that short explanation makes things a bit clearer, or can be comprehended, it is quite difficult if a human lives a life of self-interest and in a believe that everything here as LIFE is separate and that what exist has nothing to do with them except what they are experiencing in their personal lives, yes a very limited existence it is indeed. To comprehend such a point of responsibility requires self-transformation internally and then externally as a living example for self-first and then by the law of obviousness others will see and start living the same.

Then the next point comes along – how can any human take on such a responsibility? It must be impossible, I mean an entire planet full of trillions of beings from humans to viruses and I am responsible for how each of these beings lives are on this planet?? You must be crazy.

Well then I must point out the obvious again which obviously isn’t obvious yet, as it wasn’t obvious to me neither in the beginning of this Journey with Detseni and the process and deciding to walk this journey in awareness and to take authority for and of myself and direct myself, as this process is happening of oneness and equality ANYWAY with or without my participation, because LIFE has rules to equalize itself, either through force or we can decide to stand as life and direct it instead in a more pleasant way.

So the not so obvious point to look at how possible it is really for each and every human to take their responsibility in this world and what exist here as our creation through directly creating it or through acceptances and allowances, consciously or unconsciously.

YOUR Body, it has up to sixty trillion cells that makes your body what it is, each cell is alive by itself. Yes you heard me, each cell is their own being, they are the ones responsible for you getting hungry and drinking fluids, as they are asking for it, sure we can give them those things even if they do not ask for it, but they will respond accordingly then.

So next question then, how are you able to live, how is it that your body is able to exist as it does right now with sixty trillion cells that are individual cells all working together, why do some of them not just decide to do their own thing? Does the cells have higher IQ’s them us humans for not doing something so stupid? Yes it sounds stupid and even impossible, my cells deciding on their own to just do what they want, imagine suddenly falling apart as all your cells decide to just go their own way. Free choice sounds pretty stupid in this case, doesn’t it?

So how do our cells do it? What is the secret they are living by and that we aren’t, well first of all, they know and realize and see and understand in fact that they might be individuals and separate forms yet the SAME body, thus without each one doing what they are doing the other will not be able to live an effective life. and if even one cell does not live an effective life then all the other cells will be effected and thus the entire body will be effected, even if the cells on the other side does not feel it, the body which is their form/home is effected and thus they are all effected, and what does the body do when there is a cell that isn’t doing well, the BODY respond asap to correct it and to place it all back in balance, as long as there is balance.

So each Cell is responsible directly for the well-being of the entire body, and for each cell to be responsible for the entire body each cell must be self-responsible, self-responsibility is to know thy self and thus to live in a way that is best for the body/all. How considerate and just look at us all, having bodies moving around functioning.

Now take this simple perfect example as our bodies and compare it to the earth, where the earth is OUR body and we are the cells making up the earth, including every animal and plant and bug and the soil and see how everything is interconnected. Now realize why earth is fucked and how we have come to this point in time of fuckedupness, we do not even exist as ONE body as what we are, never mind being self-responsible, and even less being responsible being for this body/earth.

So we as a PLANET called earth needs to come together and take responsibility, but for that to happen we each have to first take self-responsibility as who we are, and each being/person is LIFE, the entire body, not separate at all, and to do this will take a process, a massive process, the body is autocorrecting itself to find balances, but if the cells that are out of balance do not get corrected soon, then just like a cancer the body cannot correct itself and dies. Sorting the problem out both ways.

And this is where Detseni did the research and created the tools for this correcting to go faster and in a less damaging way, less abusive. To not only speed up the process of healing but to come to a solution to prevent the problem from occurring again. And since Desteni started, many cells has come to equip themselves to correct themselves and to become a correction within the body/planet/Life – it is all free will based, because if cells are forced then change is very unlikely. To change, a person/cell must make the decision yes or no, the blue pill or the red pill as in Matrix. And then the decision must be lived.

But just like in the Matrix the red pill is taken and many want to make that deal with the agents again to go back, to not have to face reality, the truth, but unfortunately once the red pill is taken you cannot deny reality or the truth of what is here, but not realizing that once you have taken the red pill and you see reality, you actually now have authority to do something, to change and to bring change, to become a Neo, and in this situation we require each and every human/cell to become a Neo, we want each and every cell to be its utmost potential to have a LIFE that is worth living, a healthy body has a healthy mind as they say.

No one in the Matrix was any different from Neo, they all just abdicated their potential and placed hope onto someone else, imagine a Zion full of Neos. But the process is a hard one to take and to follow through. Self-responsibility is acquired through self-forgiveness, and self-honesty is developed through self-investigation of writing and writing self-forgiveness, common sense is developed through seeing reality more and more as the layers of the programs and systems are removed – but the starting point of doing any and all of this must be to rebirth self as LIFE as that which is best for all life.

Day 486 - unexpected truth about Desteni and the Desteni Farm.

I have been wanting to write the truth about Desteni farm for many years, it has always been on my mind, I have never had a single day go by without having the vision of me writing out a blog post revealing the truth about Desteni Farm and what it is that’s going on here. I have been living on the Detseni farm for more than seven years, and I cannot hold this in anymore.

When I came to Desteni farm in 2008, I was strongly advised by my mother to not come, and that she does not allow me to come/go to the Desteni Farm, my father on the other hand was happy for the decision. (Since then my mother has visited me here on the Desteni Farm on many occasions and even wanted to move here at some point)

So I came, the words of my mother was stuck inside of me on the way to the Farm, it was a six hour drive, just me and my Father in the car, as we got closer and closer to the farm where I knew Bernard Poolman would be waiting for my arrival, and where the portal will be, I was really nervous and stressed out, as my mother’s words floated around in my mind – specifically these words: “in the name and blood of Jesus I do not give you permission to go” – and I decided to go anyway.

Once I was on the farm and I gave Bernard a hug and everyone else, the stress and nervousness was over, taking a quick look around the farm and just chilling, sitting around a big metal table outside talking and sharing, my father was also staying for a few days. The farm was at that time very dull and empty, not much was build yet and not much going on.

Then my Father left, and I was now on my own, no parent nearby, just me and other people on a farm and to be more specific – the DESTENI farm, not just any farm with family and friends living on it, a farm that was very very specific and why it exist, and the people on this farm with a very specific goal that is being lived/applied.

As time went by I got involved in ALL the Physical activities on the farm, which is farm maintenance and building. We were busy reshaping the farm, to bring life to the farm, taking out thousands of weeds and planting grass and cutting grass and building bathrooms and fixing a lot of things, such as fencing etc, and in this passing of time more and more people came to the farm, people from ALL over the world, from America and Europe and Australia and Canada and so many other places.

With these new strangers visiting the farm with this same specific goal at heart, it was really awesome to see everyone coming together and participating within all the practical farm activities and having chats around bond fires and making videos and interviews and writing blogs, just discussing LIFE and the systems we live in and changes and actually apply these changes to ourselves within the group, with a great amount of feedback from the supportive environment to help one achieve change in living application.

What I found the most interesting was all the different people from all around the world are actually not so different at all, in fact I would say I realized that everyone is the same.

Oh wait, everyone is waiting to hear the truth about Desteni farm, sorry I got lost in all the amazingness of the Desteni farm, the uniqueness of it all, the magnitude of such a happening such as the Desteni farm. specifically why is exists and how.

You are probably also waiting to hear about all the Bernard stories and the portal stories and all the weird things that is supposed to be going on at the Desteni Farm, well I am sorry the only weirdness is how the Desteni farm is the most harmonious place I have ever lived, where there is actually peace and community, because the people that visit or that stay here, are people that has developed themselves through actual self-change within taking self-responsibility, through extensive writing and applying self-forgiveness and developing self-honesty, living by common sense and agreements.

Oh wait, that is weird to most of humanity, which prefers war and harm and enjoying emotional abuse and mind games and blaming and all the “good” shit (sarcasm) all the normal stuff””

The portal is as real as real can be, I witnessed the portal multiple times at any time doing what the portal does, NEVER preparing anything beforehand, I mean the things the portal can do is beyond my comprehension, in terms of what’s coming through the portal. It is feaken amazing, I tried doing what the portal does through “pretending” and guess what, it is impossible to come up with even 1% of what the portal is doing and seven years later even with Bernard gone for two years already, the portal is still at it the same, making a part one video of a certain series today and then for the next several weeks make other interviews and then continues with part two perfectly in alignment with part one, I slept in the same house in my own room as where the portal was for two months, seeing the portal busy at any time with several other people also in the same house, the portal NEVER had any time to practice or to go rehearse anything. It is all real time HERE. I could at any time ask the portal for assistance or perspective and right there and then the portal would show me the points and give me insight or describe a system or program to me, and years later, still the same.

To talk about Bernard Poolman I would need to write a book, Bernard was simply HERE always breathing and directing points here, taking no shit, yet the gentlest person and the kindest person and you can’t hide anything from him, without saying a word he knows and brings it up. Yes developing abilities is possible, I used to see inter-dimensional at the age of 16, my entire family is aware of it and saw the proof for themselves in front of their eyes, but I lost my ability through abusing it. (I have never shared this before) this is why I know everything with Desteni is a fact, I lived it and I have been there (my own proof and evidence through time applying myself actually within the provided tools) trusting myself. One needs to stand as life and in breath to handle such an ability/gift – moving on.

The truth about Desteni Farm – it’s the one place on earth that I would like to manifest all across the earth, specifically the communal living part, not necessarily earth as one big farm lol.

The truth is Desteni is amazing if you really walk it to your utmost and apply the tools and learn to know thy self, develop yourself as what is best for all life, in other words, develop the vocabulary to stand one and equal as life to live the words of life and become the living word, as the word was in the beginning and A new reality, the actual reality that is here starts coming through and what’s possible for this reality that we have destroyed thus far, writing, self-forgiveness, develop self-honesty, common sense and living by the principles that is based on LIFE as what is best for all life.

If you want more truths about Desteni and the Desteni Farm then first let go of pre-conceived ideas and beliefs and opinions and really take a look without a veil in front of your eyes and we can move along faster this life to change this world and make a life that is worthy and best for all.

Day 485 - The Desteni Language

The Desteni Language, is it different, yes, is it weird, NO – first understand the definition of language and investigate the word language a bit deeper, see that it is everywhere in all things, it’s even how our DNA can do what they do, for the Human it is everything.

So welcome to the Desteni Language.

Definition: Language
1. The method of human communication, either spoken or written, consisting of the use of words in a structured and conventional way.
"a study of the way children learn language"
• Any nonverbal method of expression or communication.
"A language of gesture and facial expression"
synonyms: speech, writing, communication, conversation, speaking, talking, talk, discourse; More
words, vocabulary
"the structure of language"
2. The system of communication used by a particular community or country.
"the book was translated into twenty-five languages"

Now, onto my explanation to make sense of it all. The following explanation came from my own realizations and obviously in my line of work meeting very interesting people giving me new perspectives/words and opening up my world bit by bit.

Language – most of us, if not all, including myself have been taught that a different language is a language that “ONLY” comes from another country or a different region in one’s own country where one can listen and not make out anything the other person is saying because the other person from another country or region in one’s own country is speaking NOT the same language as you. This is the Idea that comes from most people.

As we can see in the definition of language, it comes down to vocabulary. What this means is that there can be two English speaking people in the same room, the one is a salesmen, the other is a doctor, both of them speak English yet a different language, as both of them has been trained in the same language (English) for many many years just with different vocabulary, so if the doctor starts speaking to the salesmen about his day, and the operations he did and the patients he had to deal with and their diseases, then the sales men will literally have no clue what the doctor is talking about, yet if the salesmen starts talking to the doctor about what he does and how he is selling things, the doctor on the other hand will understand what the salesmen is talking about. Why? Because the doctor has that vocabulary and can thus understand the salesmen. The difference is, the doctor studied for many years the Vocabulary that the majority of society do not study, or have to know about (which is different vocabulary in English) plus he already had the basic vocabulary of English and learned from society how to use/speak the English (thus has a WAY bigger vocabulary), while the salesmen also started with the basic English vocabulary did not have to study many years to sell things, although he did have to learn new vocabulary to fit his sales, it isn’t nessasarely that much different and still falls in the line of basic English.

Now let’s go one step further – The doctor and the salesmen both have the same basic vocabulary that they both learned through the normal schooling system, the one (doctor) went on to study different vocabulary that is specific to a doctor, and this doctor now has also changed his life after many years of learning new vocabulary – as vocabulary/words directly influence how we think and thus what we do and pattern ourselves with as the person/character we become, thus the doctor will now start hanging out with doctors and he will most likely enjoy being with doctors more as they can all relate to one another and have the same way/manner in which they speak, and have doctor jokes and spots to hang out, and the same goes for the salesmen. The difference is the doctor is kind of now living a doctor vocabulary, because he deals with it every day of his life as it is his living, his living depends on his vocabulary, and the same for the salesmen.

Now we have thousands of different professions in this world, where each profession has a different set of word/vocabulary that is required to be known and lived to really be effective and to really be a professional in your profession, even if all these professions are in the same Language as English, they are each their own language in vocabulary and how the vocabulary is structured to form sentences as well, to make it possible for that profession to exist to communicate to move the points and to do what is required to do.

I for example: I know nothing about mechanics, so will I buy a magazine that is called mechanics? NO, because I will start reading it and then not know what I am reading, BUT if I am interested, I will start learning the vocabulary so I can read about it and then I can start applying myself, express myself to do it.

So, when you look now at Desteni, it is simply a new language in terms of a new structure where new sets of vocabulary is used – and it is still English, but you can go and translate it into any language and you will find it is still the vocabulary and the structure that is different for it to be that which Desteni is all about, where this Desteni Language is the language of LIFE – it didn’t just come about overnight, it didn’t just come about through a mysterious unknown development, it came about through development in what Detseni do and stand for, years of research and hard work and really investigating things in this world and within ourselves, and to really truly express it all we had to develop a new vocabulary and how we structure it in our expressions, just like a doctor who needs to know his doctor language/vocabulary to do what he needs to do to save patients and help people, the same for Destonians.

If a person finds the Desteni Language weird or different then you should know that such a person will find any other language or new set of vocabulary they are introduced to weird, and that it has nothing to do with Desteni, it has everything to do with the person and that they are not serious, you know, like me picking up a book about mechanics, a lot of people enroll to become doctors, how many make it? Not all of them, because some finds the language/vocabulary too difficult to learn/comprehend and then suddenly such a person will now be against doctors or downgrade the profession, saying things like: they didn’t really want to become a doctor, that to become a doctor one must have no life to learn those words/things etc., I had a better plan for myself, but such a person will never admit that the problem lies with self, and get everyone around them on their side as far as possible just so that they do not have to admit they didn’t make it, it was the teachers fault, the teacher didn’t teach me right, the university is going backwards.

So understand the Language point, the vocabulary – try and have one thought without using vocabulary/words and see language in all its forms, not just the different sounds, but how deep it really goes.