Day 373 – My Hidden Fear of Starving. Part 2








I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the images and Ideas and Fears I have within my mind about and towards my body and here to a specific part of my body such as the metabolism, that it will have an effect as the thoughts/ideas/images I have will give signals to my body and the certain parts I have it about, and that my body will act and accordingly do things dependent on the signals I am giving it, seeing and realizing that it is best I do not give any signals and just Breathe and give breathe to my body so that my body can do what it does best as it knows best what to do, before it is too late and I might destroy or make a part of my body malfunction. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the signals I am giving my body isn’t just within having the thoughts/ideas/images, but that it is within following them and creating them within living actions, such as for example when and as I eat when I don’t want to, or fill up my plate of food with a shit load of food I will never finish, yet I do so because I was confirming the fear, validating the idea.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am participating within any of the Ideas/Beliefs/images that I have created towards my metabolism, to stop and to breathe and to realize that this is me as the mind seeking a way to blame and to have an excuse for why I am not gaining weight, or why I am skinny and lose weight quickly.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am seeking to eat food from the starting point of fear, where my fear is for example that of me not getting enough food in for my metabolism to burn out of the fear that my metabolism will start eating my muscles and make me starve, to stop and to breathe and to realize that it is all literally just in my head and that if I follow up on that fear, then I will validate the fear and through the believe actually make my metabolism do what I fear it will do. 

I commit myself to when and as I am hungry to only take the food I know I will eat, and to stop the Image Idea/projection in my head that is from/of fear that is showing me as a thought how much food I think I must take, and to simply breathe and take what I can see with my real eyes that is required.

I commit myself to stop over loading my plate full of food, as I see and realize that doing this and acting/behaving in such a way is only strengthening the fear of starvation and thus the Ideas and beliefs as well.

I commit myself to make peace with my body and to from here on support and assist my body within only physical activities that is required within each moment and to not force my body into anything more that is of the mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am within the fear of starvation, to stop and to breathe and to look at what is the Idea/believe behind the fear within that moment that I am entertaining that is also making my body experience what it is experiencing such as starvation, seeing and realizing that I have no Idea what starvation is, as I have more than 5 meals a day and always have food at my disposal, yet I am experiencing such a fear, showing me the truth between reality and the mind, what is real and what is not, as real starvation takes days before one can say one is starving in fact. 

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am eating out of the fear of not gaining weight and only losing weight as well as starvation, to stop and to breathe and to realize that I am now telling my body I am eating only because I am starving and losing weight and not gaining weight, and thus my body will do just that, eat the food and still feel hungry and never gain weight and sustain it, as I see and realize after years of doing this I have trained my body to have this weird reasoning that it must follow.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am blaming and abusing my metabolism within my head within my secret thoughts to stop and to breathe and to realize my metabolism is just fine and that I am the only one messing up it functionality through giving it all these mixed signals as my Ideas/opinions/believes just to blame and diver attention all because of experiences from a long time ago in my developing years when my body just could not gain muscles yet that looked good, and now I have carried out over with me for many more years just because I felt insecure and not confident back then and wanted to blame something for it. Instead of taking self-responsibility for myself and not placing security and confidence in looks, but instead within who I am as a living physical being, as Life one and equal.

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