Day 344 – Kids at work.

It has happened a few times now that there are kids at my work around the show room. While the parents are looking for cars the kids aged around 2-4 will be walking with and around the place, I as usual will be walking around or standing somewhere. Before I know it the kids are around me and they want to play, or they simply like to be around me.

Kids are comfortable around me since I could remember, they enjoy me for some reason, I can’t say what the difference is because I am surely not familiar with it yet, it is most probably my resonance that I have always had, people Trust me, as I am trust worthy.

So today there was a Kid at work, the third one recently that literally leaves their mom/dad to be around me, and I experienced myself as becoming uncomfortable after a while, because here is this kid, another person’s kid, and he trusts me, and he is comfortable around me, not with the other 5 people standing around as well, but with me.

I find that I then feel like I must do something, why else is the kid here with me, the kid is probably expecting something of me, should I entertain the kid, should I take the kid back to his parents, what does the kid want from ME specifically, this only came up today because it is the third kid in a row.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when and as a child is within my presence that I must become an entertainer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that children only wants entertainment, not considering that maybe all they want is some stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself as not being able to entertain a kid when and as I assume that a kid wants entertainment from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that I am only entertainment for kids when and as they are around/with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as only being able to give entertainment to kids otherwise I am useless beyond that point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as useless when and as I have nothing more to give other than my entertainment to kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that kids only seek entertainment and that entertainment is the only need kids have for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way kids can like me is if I am entertaining, not seeing and realizing that the kids came to me before I ever seemed entertaining and thus I created that point within me and towards the kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all I am good for is entertainment, not seeing and realizing that I am also stability and not your daily person as within the system, as I do not create a child as less than me or place them as incapable of anything within me and that kids will see this quality within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my qualities that I have within me that will draw kids to me for stability and some realness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my ability that I have with kids naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear my ability that I have that makes it literally instant for kids to trust me and to be comfortable around me, enough that I will have instant effect on them within my actions and words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to deny my natural ability that I have with kids (the same as what I have with animals) because I fear the responsibility that comes with it, seeing and realizing that I only fear the responsibility of the point because I judge it as bad and not good for the parents side of that child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny my ability that I have with kids and animals in the fear that others will feel less then or inferior to me for when the child/animal chooses me over them even when it is their own kid/owner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not enjoy myself with the kids/animals with my natural ability as who I am but to instead give into fear as the mind as consciousness and to limit and suppress and hide myself away from it all out of the fear of facing conflict with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear jealousy from others within my natural abilities that I have towards kids and animals, seeing and realizing that the fear of jealousy is coming from knowing myself when and as I am jealous and who I become when I am jealous seeing others applying their abilities without holding themselves back and that I then am only jealous because of myself holding myself back within my natural abilities and applying it effectively as others are.