Day 513 – Fear of leaving my body




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear admitting that I fear death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that ALL the fears that I have comes from the one fear, the fear of death, as all fears is based on the end result of my end/death as a personality to be more specific.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR death as the end of ME, which shows quite a point to look at, who is this ME?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death because I know that I am not real and that at death the truth will be revealed and that I will have to face myself as my own self dishonesty as I never pushed myself to my limits, to birth myself as life and to stand up for and as life a myself for all that is here one and equal as I was busy protecting a personality design that is living within self-interest and only looking after my own ass as the MIND/energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death as the SHAME that I will face for all the excuses and reasons and all the things that I deliberately placed in front of myself to NOT stand up to not stand up for myself as LIFE and to accept and allow myself to be suppressed through the mind as energy and to have deliberately given into it as a way of excusing myself from taking a real stand within myself where I do it for myself as myself as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death and facing what is real as the PHYSICAL as that which is real and to stand in the face of what is here and what is real and to not be seen as worthy of life as I will find myself unable to communicate and to stand one and equal as the physical as LIFE.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question why I actually within self-honesty FEAR death and what death will expose to ME.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Death stares me in the eyes every day at any moment and I do not decide that moment of death and I know that when death comes from me – I will not stand as LIFE yet and thus I cannot stand death, thus showing me true fear of death as that of knowing that I am not standing one and equal as LIFE YET as death is still a fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR death as I fear the regret that I will face of myself, as to why I did nothing despite ALL the evidence that I should act and stand yet did nothing but crawl up inside myself into a bundle of excuses and reasons that seem so right and justifiable., which I know death will proof my mind wrong in all possible ways and I will face the truth of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that I can excuse myself from death and what comes after death.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live in a way where I know that I am standing and that even death is welcomed as I know who I am and that it is nothing more or less one and equal as LIFE.

Death reveals a lot, it exposes what is HERE – most people have pity things that they fear they will meet at their death bed, I also had these pity things, like not having sex with as many women as I would have wanted to, not traveling the world, not partying as hard as I can, never taking chances, never doing certain drugs, never choosing a correct career path, for not loving my family more, for not caring more for my parents etc tec. There are so many – but while those are our distracting thoughts at our death bed there is something completely missed – there is NO heaven or HELL after death, there is only one thing awaiting – dust to dust, not from dust to heaven or to hell.

And the problem is – from dust to dust means after death we remain RIGHT HERE, simply in another form – this form is the physical, and we as humans are currently living as the mind as energy, as illusions of what is here – now illusions aren’t real, and if we exist as the mind and we die, the mind dies – the illusion stops existing, yet you will be here – now if you created and lived your entire life as the mind which ends at death, you have NO possible way of living after death, of directing yourself as the physical, because we never even learned how to communicate with what is real (the physical) we have only always communicated as the mind, so NO thoughts will be there after death to guide you, NO thinking, no memories – so who the fuck am I then? Well I simply do not exist then after death, and that’s it, it isn’t a matter of fear now – now it is a matter of making a decision, do I stand as LIFE do I rebirth myself as the physical as LIFE and amalgamate myself with LIFE and stand one and equal as life, already now this life before death live without the thoughts/thinking/memories and live as LIFE/physical so that at death I know who the fuck I am and nothing changes.

This is also not a matter of separating myself from the mind, the mind is HERE I have to stand one and equal as the mind, as the tool the mind is – which is in reverse of what we have done, we made the tool who we are, see the shit storm we are in – how did we end up making a tool called the mind WHO we are, who I am, it is the same as me deciding to make one of my fingers who I am, imagine how that would have looked like or worked out, pretty fucked up I would say, now that should answer your question to why the world is fucked up if you take a moment to look at the whole of EVERYTHING that is here.

To be continued – death

No comments:

Post a Comment

Featured post

Victimization - Self-Forgiveness

    First realization/insight of the word. I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the word VIC...