Read Day 403 – SEX Part 1 to get a complete over view of
what is being continued here.
Looking at the sex educations/impression I got from my child
hood years was as follow. I first heard/red the word and then came the reactions/meanings,
so my first impression was within how the word was used or reacted towards, it
is bad, it is dirty, it is not for children, it is secret, it is special, it is
all these things except what it really is and it is something secret, it is something
“kids” do not talk about or mention in front of adults as it is an Adult
subject.
So what happens then is the Kids go to one another/each
other and among the kids there are discussion, miss information based on what
has been told/heard/red/seen depending on each child’s “life” there will be a
particular influence from this subject. And here among the kids ALL these
particular Ideas/opinions/beliefs come together and the kids make a very weird
stew of what SEX means and what it is.
Then comes the point of – each one for himself, after these
discussion the kids will be by themselves at many points in their life, and
when kids are by themselves and can’t really go talk to an Adult or someone
about what they just heard, it is kept in their heads/minds and there it
becomes one self’s opinions/ideas/beliefs and so connect all this weird stuff
to sex. Circling around in one’s mind.
All this is possible because there is a separation between
Adults and Children, the adults became contaminated and they know they are
contaminated and thus they want the kids to remain kids, stay away from such
subjects as sex for as long as possible, and thus the kids are never to speak
of sex, mention sex and the parents will never use that word in front of the
kids deliberately, maybe not even with each other/partners.
This is all to show how the secrets begin and when shit is
done in secret it becomes dangerous, look at the world, all the sickening
things that is related to sex happens in secret, it cannot happen in public,
because in public, or in the eye of everyone there will be witnesses and there
will be consequences, and it won’t be possible because I know when I have to
see shit like that in public happening or about to happen, I will stop it, I
will intervene and make sure the person goes away to a correctional facility
and only once proven corrected will such a being return to public, and all will
know who this person is and he will have to live self-forgiveness.
I am not saying that sex must be done in public, I am saying,
lets not create a secret mind about/in relation to sex as this is where the
bullshit/abuse flows out from, let all be known to all about sex, NOT porn,
sex, what it really is, a Physical action between partners – based on an
agreement both made and all is aware of this agreement, so that we all know no
one is fucking around – and thus sex is really simple from that perspective.
Back to the main point - so here I am looking at the WORD
sex, what have I connected to sex as a child, that first impression, that
moment/memory that was pressed into me and thus defined sex for me, and then I
accepted and allowed it to be so. This first moment that I can remember clearly
was mentioned in the previous blog.
Self - forgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
not see that the first time I heard and spoke the word sex there was nothing
connected to it but the curiosity to know/understand the word. and everyone’s
behaviors/reactions towards the word, and thus what I then afterwards connected
to the word sex is not real but all simply opinions/beliefs/ideas of and from
other peoples mind’s and not based on real facts as to what sex is/mean.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
connect the word naughty as a definition of what sex is to the word sex through
how I saw others talk/mention it as if it is naughty and must be kept quiet.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
connect the IDEA/belief that I must keep quite within using the word SEX as it might
get me in trouble and thus only use it around those that I know can’t get me in
trouble, such as friends or in secret.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
connect the experience of “getting in trouble” to the word sex when and as it
is spoken out by a child and the adults may hear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
create a curiosity towards the word sex and thus what sex is in the end,
through how I saw others talk/mention the word sex, thus energetically being
influenced by others.
I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself
to see that when I spoke out the word SEX for the first time without having a
clue what it yet means that there was nothing attached to it, it was just a
word that still needed to be defined and thus the word sex is not wrong but
what we as humans connect to it as our thoughts as Ideas/opinions/beliefs.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
go into Fear when and as I said the word sex out loud and all the other
kids/people around me shouted shut up don’t say that so loud, the teacher will
hear you, not even knowing what I had to fear yet, but just that it was
something to fear and that there will be authorities involved that will punish
me for this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
connect a fearful energetic experience towards the word sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
connect a emotional energetic charge towards the word sex of it being bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
take what others have shown me as their behaviors and sounds towards and within
the word sex and made it my own, believing that what others connect within a
word must be what the word stands for/mean or imply.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
fear speaking and using the word as a normal word as all words to speak as a
reference to something in public or in front of others believing that it will
and might trigger a opinions/belief/idea and thus a reaction within them that
might cause conflict, seeing and realizing that this is simply my reactions as
my beliefs/ideas/opinions that I have created in relation to the word sex from
past experiences/influences that I am projection onto others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
ban the word sex from my word usage and thus always avoid any such topics that
might come us, as I have defined the word sex as sacred/secret and not a
subject to bring up, as I will always feel I am a kid in relation to this word
as I have defined this word when I was a kid.
To be continued.
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