Day 466 - DO IT, trying sounds like lying.

Continuing from - I am trying so hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist just doing something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lazy about doing something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself incapable of just doing it, to get up and to do it full hardheartedly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as not being capable of just doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the judgment of myself as not being capable of doing it within me as real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the judgment of myself not being capable of doing it as I am comfortable within not doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be comfortable with myself not doing anything as I have this believe that if I do not do anything then I simply do not have to face myself, not seeing and realizing that the judgment I create/have of myself is me beating myself down anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to be comfortable with myself not doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an already awaiting expectation of myself and the physical for what is to come for me if I do do it, and to within this fear who I will be within that new reality, and only seeing the negative always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I start doing all the things that I know I must do in every single moment and to never stop but to just move within breathe and to not be determined my energy as the moods and thoughts that I will never sit still and live my life and always just be busy with all the thing that NEEDS to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge me DOING what needs to be done in each and every moment and to not postpone as me not living, not seeing and realizing that it is actually the opposite and that if I do everything that is HERE in the moment that needs to be done that I am actually then in fact living, directing reality and creating, instead of waiting and being lazy and wasting time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do it, just because I have an idea in my head that if I do that then I will not be able to do other things, not even knowing what the other things are, yet just making it up in my head as a mysterious reason for not doing this or that, yet seeing that I do this for this image in my head of seeing myself just doing nothing and just living in self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live every day for the achievement of having to do nothing. And thus doing as little as possible just to have that time to do nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my live to be a big nothing through working hard every day with the intention in mind soul and resonance of in the end of the day to do nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to work hard and to do all the effort I can do with the actions of wanting to do nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself and my limits everyday within the intention of having to do nothing in the end of the day, basically to become zombie.

I forgive myself for that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize this point of desiring to do nothing existing within me at all times and to within this making work and any action I have to do tiring and heavy, and thus no matter how hard I work or push myself everyday ends up with a collapse of doing nothing and being tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live with intent, seeing and realizing that intent does not mean shit if the actions isn’t aligned, and also seeing and realizing I cannot rely on intent as it changes all the time, and thus I must rely on my breathing and DO it in the moment and not to postpone for one second, working with what is here and not with what is within me as that is limited and deceptive and cannot be trusted at all.