Self Crucification, Watch Out

This blog has some cool points in general for someone not familiar with Desteni, I write this blog mostly for the community I am within and those to come to our community of Destonians. So if you are not familiar, please take a look at desteni.org - as this blog is process specific and for those that have done their research and work for years within Desteni to come to the point of self-honest investigation and self into me I see.

Jesus was amazing in being and living the word as who he is in expression when he was here on earth. He demonstrated not only in his words and living the way forward for life/humanity but he also showed us that anyone can do it, stand as life, as we are all the same, from the same substance, equal and one, and so absolutely responsible for ourselves and what is here on earth.

Jesus as amazing as he was, and still he did not get it fully (so yes, you can stand as expression of life and still fuckup and even more enhances the problem), to the full extent of what is here as this existence, the mind/consciousness and most of all self-honesty, and neither do I yet, but it is clear for all to see that Jesus showed us who we are as life, and he at the same time showed us how FUCKED we are, we can literally have a GOD walk among us as an example of WHO WE ARE and we will Crucify that god for doing so. This is the one point where Jesus fell, being crucified instead of pushing through all the way as much as possible, it was his (personal) downfall, yet for us all, it was a gift still to show us the extent of the problem that is here if we dare see.

How easy is it to fall for the idea in our heads of rather sacrificing ourselves for others and hoping they would make it, they would get it, and give up on ourselves personally to transcend and rebirth as life one and equal as life here? it is very easy, because it is nice to think that if I sacrifice myself and give up on myself but not others, then they will make it, YET what I do know is, people follow by example, so in the end we have everyone sacrificing themselves for others and no one making it, because no one is pushing all the way through, breathing, self-forgiveness, living and walking brutal self honesty within a specific principle of what is best for all life, standing up and changing self and so effect the world in ways unthinkable to the mind. I mean, Jesus' time was two thousand years ago, and in that time no one has stood up as he hoped fro crucifying himself.

Have you crossed that path in your life? as the gross of Jesus symbolizes, the cross roads, where you either crucify yourself, give yourself up, give up on yourself due to reasons such as age, time, commitments, "responsibilities", stress, fears, insecurities, ideas and believes or plain out just not caring anymore and just want to be happy in an illusion till death pops that bubble?, OR where you climb off the cross as the BURDENS you belief you carry, lay them down and say, NO, I do not accept and allow the MIND as the cross to burden me, I stay with my feet on the ground and walk the path until it is done? This is a point everyone needs to and will face in their life, unexpectedly, subtly, or quit openly/direct, and a decision will have to be made, and once a person faces this point and decides to walk instead of crucifying themselves, it becomes a path that can only be walked in-breath, or the cross is simply lifted and carried again till an appropriate spot is found for it to crucify self on it, give up on self.

In our heads it can sound so nice when we tell ourselves that "I will sacrifice/crucify myself" for the sake of my family, children, or for others to have a chance this life, and we really sell it to ourselves to justify our actual FEAR of really facing the self-honesty of what exists here and how fucked we truly are within and without of what is HERE accepted and allowed as LIFE. It is truly a difficult path, and if Jesus could not make it, then how can I? take a look at how hard christianity sells the idea that Jesus is still alive, somewhere on a cloud, and they do this because they must have HOPE. but inside everyone really knows he is dead and did not make it, because he isn't here now in his flesh as they say. We all can see that. and thus we all know deep inside, fuck, if Jesus could not make it, how can I? and what does the path then truly entail.

Luckily Desteni is here to give clarity on this path for all, and the message, the educational material, and most of all the tools to walk this path, and Bernard who walked as an example to show. But, what can we learn from ourselves, even when a support structure such as Desteni is HERE, giving the process and the way on a plate for all to see, to walk and to live, it still seems no one is making it. have you made it? I have not yet made it..

Especially, when we look at ourselves, and we have had these tools and all the information that is needed 100% for free online, open for all, all given clearly in what is needed, the principles, the message, the understanding, and the tools, we find ourselves falling and failing and crawling and struggling and giving up on a yearly, monthly, weekly basis for the smallest challenges, obstacles, reasons and 99% they are mind related, not real. This creates the desire for a cross for oneself, even more, to rather pick that cross up and carry it, find a spot for it and place ourselves on it, and then hope that this suicidal crucification will somehow symbolize to our children, friends, peers HOPE!! that they can do it, but rather it is in return symbolizing we are fucked, gave up, and not what you think or want it to be. I mean a cross is a torturing device that kills someone slowly with crows picking out your eyes.

A self crucification can come in many forms, it mostly will symbolize in either two polarities, one of negativity or one of positivity in how we present our self crucification to others, to still create the Illusion of it being good, or meaningfull, just like what religion is doing to Jesus crucification and how it becomes a massive selling point, we sell our crucification to others, as if giving hope to others to keep moving on, keep pushing on, is all that is needed, but we ourselves are unwilling, we would rather parade around looking happy, or saticfied with ourselves in a world of dispair, or try and demonise everything and everyone instead of really being an example of walking the walk, facing our shit, being real about the shit that is here, walk a very specific process of educatio, and using tools of writing, self-forgiveness, corrective statements, sharing that openly where it is supportive and best for all, being very specific with a principle we live by and stand by, and so become a living example of change is HERE, not in a hope, not in our children, not in others, in ourselves, and so self crucification is a made up fantasy of change, a self-rightcious approach to change.

I have found and identified the point for me that indicated I am carrying my cross and readying myself for self-crucification within this process, and so I use these markers to check myself, as picking up the cross/mind is subtle, it is self-deceptive, it is cunning, it is planned in a manner that seems like it isn't a crucification.

These points are as follows, and they are real and physical.

- I stop writing, personal writing, or blogs..
- I do not speak my written self-forgiveness to myself.
- I stop listening to Desteni interviews, recording and forget about them
- I stop reading and educating myself, and clarifying for myself information that is available on the Desteni Website and only consume bullshit elsewhere leading to only knowledge and information that satisfy a conspiracy, a feeling, an energy that restarts by the engine of the mind and nothing else, feeding personalities and characters.
- I stop participating in group events, chats, forums, making videos/vlogs, sharing my process in the channels available such as FB, not being visible for cross-referencing. as the cross is then already planted for me to hang on, not in sight for others to see my action of self0crucification coming.
- I more and more lean to do things of entertainment rather than my process.
- Process is last on my list to give attention, instead of it being my living and sharing and fist priority as who I am as life.
- making money and relationships a focus point as an excuse to why I am not yet getting to my process.
- Concerned about what others think more and more and so retract myself from expressing myself.
- Making my process a burden instead of a living expression of who I am, as the burden indicates there is already a cross on my back, the mind.

Ok, those are some indicators I use and check out for, priorities, focus on one's process naturally becomes first once the realization of reality and what is here as who we are really sinking in, within the consideration of eternity and all life within it.