Day 476 - What are you waiting for?

This blog is inspired by a song from Nickelback called what are you waiting for. The first time I heard this song was while I was driving in the car a couple of weeks ago, It was a regular day like any other, doing what I do, but what I do has a higher purpose , and I have been walking this process of living/doing what’s best for all for seven years now, and it is has been quite a journey.

I can say within walking a certain Journey for many years has brought very interesting point to light within me and within the world we live in, especially changing how I live, changing who I am through applying myself in all ways within living a new set of principles, principles that previously in my life I have never even thought of even one of these principles as being possible, I had to be introduced to these principles and through my own application I saw for myself that they in fact work as what is best for all life.

Now within seven years of walking a journey to a new life, and re-birthing myself as new life, and thus expanding myself to do whatever I can this life, as I only have this one life, to apply myself in all possible areas to bring about a world that is best for all life, I have faced dozens of challenges.

The biggest challenge I have ever faced within my Journey, my process, IS ME. My mind and my patterns and who I am has been the greatest challenge of all, I have walked through so many layers over and over within myself. I have wondered sometimes when will this end, when will I stop the fear and the patterns constructed within self-interest (fear) and start living and start standing and moving things within the world and get things done, the things that matter to all life, so that we can change this world to what is best for all this life, I don’t have a next chance, it is now or never.

As I was driving in the car, with heavy traffic all around me, thus driving slow. I decided to turn the radio on to see if there is any news or a song that’s actually worth listening to. And with my surprise the radio presented announced that there is new song they are playing today from Nickelback. NOW I do not like Nickelback, so as I was focused on the traffic I did not switch off the radio as I wanted to do, and this new song started playing.

At first it did not sound like the usual Nickelback song, so I turned up the volume and started actually LISTENING to the words of the song, and within a minute I was in tears while driving, the song has triggered some hidden emotional buildup within me that I have been aware of, just never focused on the point and dealt with it properly.

I got emotional and did not suppress the point, I embraced the moment to actually see what is here as the point, since I wasn’t willing to look at it myself and something external had to support me to see what’s here.

While I was in tears (not sobbing or anything, just tears rolling down with my mouth doing that funny trembling thing), I felt something opening up within me, a realization.

The realization was – WHAT AM I WAITING FOR – this point of not trusting myself, not standing one hundred percent in confidence within myself within pushing what I know it real, not fearing falling but doing it, not fearing mistakes and to be willing to believe in myself, to make it happen this life, there is only this life.

I have been stuck in a BIGGER pattern hat I did not want to look at, the pattern was the seven years that has already gone by, this patterns is the pattern of time, the test of time, who I was and who I am here, why have I given up within myself halfway, doing everything halfway, why did I stop believing in what I KNOW WORKS for a fact and that is best for all life, why did I go into this waiting mode, there is truly no excuse, I am here to LIVE my life, my life is the purpose, the dream of a world that is best for all life. And I will never quite this dream, because it is real, and not a fantasy, I am living proof of this dream that can be for everyone, so what am I waiting for??

The song made me question myself, the song simply said many times, what are you waiting for, and the opening up within myself was – I am waiting for myself to actually live, to express and to be true to what I stand for.

And the tears was a forgiveness of what I have been allowing as my mind as ALL the excuses and all the fears and all insecurities and all the self-judgments, the excuses are always based on mind points, never real, not real physical things. And I even made real physical things my limitations which can simply be viewed differently with changing my perspective and overcoming the limitation to move myself to not go into a waiting lethargic state.

It has been a couple of weeks and the realization is still in action, I am living, I am breathing I am moving, I am learning and making mistakes and learning, I am moving past fear of failing, this live it the one life we have to make a change, I alone cannot do this, but as a group we can accomplish anything, as long as we are not waiting.

Please listen to the song and get perspective.