Our Expression Is In Risking Our Knowledge - Fears

Be silent always - take a breath before you speak,
look inside to self for guidance - find your way to self expression -

never bind it to another, but to ALL for self realization

then support yourself in your choice

don't justify

I find the choices I made that I could not explain, guided me the most clearly,

because I only understood in retrospect - yet I had to overcome fear and

justification - because fear and justification wanted to explain

my choice to me - our expression is in risking our Knowledge

Knowledge Enslaves

-- Bernard Poolman -

I am going to keep using this Quote of Bernard as my guide, as I see I still want to go into the mind with knowledge as justifications, fears, of expressing myself, and I never seem to actually support myself in my own choices. I always want others to support me, have their concent and approval. 

How the fuck am I ever going to change myself, not to mention the world if I keep holding onto fear and justifications for my choices, I was looking at ME expressing myself, what comes naturally to me, and what has come naturally to me since starting this process with Desteni, the tools, applying the tools, forgiving myself, and walking within principle, understanding the mind. I see that I have suppressed and denied myself what comes naturally to me, I have made my choices second for others, so seeing this, I see I am the one responsible absolutely, and no one else.

The fears are. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR losing people, creating friction with people if I express myself, specifically in a way where what I express or do seems pointless, where what I express comes from self-movement that is HERE and not as knowledge or information that can be used to justify and reason any movement, which I understand people want, as that creates security for them to KNOW. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself half-hearted to not disrupt others around me, to speak my truth of what is HERE and to move me as what is HERE, not as the mind as justification and fear, moving beyond fear. 

I forgive myself for fearing that if I dare to express myself, to move myself as who I am and what comes naturally to me through walking this process and living within the principles of and as this process to stop the mind and rebirth self as life, that I will fuck up and make mistakes that others will use against me as fear and justification to show me how wrong I was, YET seeing and realizing that, that is okay, That is their points, I must stay true to myself in this process for myself, no one gives a fuck when I die, so I better give a fuck.

I forgive myself for not seeing and realizing that I actually only fear myself living fearless and morality free and so each time I see direction that is here within my expression of what I need to direct and move, not fully understanding it myself, just knowing I have to, as who I am within walking within my principles and process, I go into fear of myself, and so to hide from myself I used my environment and others as reasons as justifications to why I can not express myself, to abdicate my self-responsibility as to make myself a slave that has apparently no choice, and so diminish myself and manifest msyelf as fear. 

I forgive myself for FEARING the system and limiting msyelf to the system that exist here as being the cause for me to NOT express myself, move myself as my self-expression as what is here as who I am within my process, where I will use MONEY and circumstances as FEAR generators to not move, to not be truthful to myself as what is here and deny what is here as self-expression. 

I forgive myself that I have not seen and realized that making decision in self-expression and supporting msyelf within my decision through looking inwards to msyelf for guidance, does not mean I move forward blindly, it means I am not using the past as knowledge/justification and fear to hold me back from my movement forward as my potential as who I am here, and as long as I do not move forward as my potential here as the truth of me, I am enslaving myself to the mind. 

I forgive myself for NOT seeing and realizing that Choosing to move as my self-expression is me choosing LIFE and not fear, it isn't choosing self-interest, as fear and justification comes from the mind as self-interest. 

I forgive myself for making MONEY and fear of MONEY, not having enough money, not knowing how I am going to make money if I chose to live my self-expression a Justification and FEAR and so a disguised reason of "keeping it practical" to not move at all, just keep it safe as justification and fear, and so not do anything in expression, and so choosing to support the mind instead of risking KNOWLEDGE for my self-expression, which will be an act of forgiveness/honour and respect for myself that will manifest as who I am within consideration  of eternity, not just this one life here. 

I forgive myself for doubting my self-expression and so sell myself out for knowledge, fear, and justification.

I forgive myself for doubting myself as who I am within expressing myself, for NOT seeing and realizing that moving within self-expression opens up doors, possibilities and growth of self and this world, as proven time and time again when we do what is HERE as our expressions then it is easy, natural to move and direct self and reality, when we choose knowledge as fear and justification as the past, we only create the past and nothing moves and the mind survives. 

 I forgive myself for not seeing and realizing that I become very reactive and taking things personal when I have dishonored myself in my self-expression for selling myself out for knowledge, fear and justifications, as I am then living in self-dishonesty, as I have bound my choices to others and start blaming others, rejecting others, and seeing others as enemies, thus abdicating my responsibility and taking my anger for my self-dishonesty out on my environment as an outflow of self-dishonesty.

The End