look inside to self for guidance - Can I Trust Myself?

Be silent always - take a breath before you speak,
look inside to self for guidance - find your way to self-expression -

never bind it to another, but to ALL for self-realization

then support yourself in your choice

don't justify

I find the choices I made that I could not explain, guided me the most clearly,

because I only understood in retrospect - yet I had to overcome fear and

justification - because fear and justification wanted to explain

my choice to me - our expression is in risking our Knowledge

Knowledge Enslaves

-- Bernard Poolman -

Look inside to self for guidance, This sentence is specific in the wording, I had to within reading this sentence itself slow down to really grasp it, it says LOOK inside TO self..... For Guidance. Read it slowly, it does not say THINK or have thoughts, or back chat and self-talking, it says LOOK, looking TO self, not into, TO. Thus seeing self, and when I look TO myself I find myself focused on my chest area and breathing, I find that space of silence and I SEE, not think, not project, I see what is HERE as me, as who I am, it is silent and so a seeing. 

What am I seeing? when I look, can I trust myself, how do I live that trust, how do I stand by that self-trust to what is here? when all I have ever known is the mind, thinking, back chat, my feelings and emotions that are located just below my chest that I so easily confuse with ME/Self and respond to as if it is who I am. 

Silence is Key, the key to silence is to BREATHE and give self that moment to slow down, actually Look to self/me for guidance, give that space, the mind wants to be quick and jumpy, it wants to give answers NOW backed by energy, emotion, back-chat and all the shit going on within the mind and manifested in the body as the mind. 

Self-Trust

I forgive myself for not standing independently owning all my choices and taking full responsibility for everything in my life, as to avoid having to direct my movement forward in self-responsibility and consideration of my self-expression. 

I forgive myself to not owning my current position and location, for avoiding who I am in the here moment as me, as to avoid the self-dishonesty I live within, to avoid having to take a real step forward as correction that is best for me within this process, within who and what I stand as within my principles, to move myself as my self-expression within that forward and to direct myself from that starting point to be as effective and efficient as I can be in a natural way as who I am. 

I forgive myself for believing that in a moment of conflict/discord or normal conversation that I cannot be silent, that I cannot look to self for guidance, that there is no time, and so go into the mind and respond based on the rush of emotions and energy that is there, and so lose self-expression and self-honesty and never actually dealing with what is here and always moving past reality and creating cycles, thus not establishing self-trust.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that when two opposing views collide, come together in conversation on any topic, that I must collide, I must bash, I must go into defense mode, justification mode, and so go into fear mode, where I believe that as long as I can not explain myself in detail within my expression that I will lose and so must use energy to win through using justification, words charged with the past and situations long gone, and so always end up losing within myself as I never got to actually in fact express me and what is here, as I only expressed the mind and so moved back in time, not forward, and miss any self-support in my own choices. 

I forgive myself for fearing supporting myself in my self-expression in my choices. 

I forgive myself for not valuing myself as life as who I am and trusting myself within my self-expression, and so not support myself or anyone else effectively. 

I forgive myself for not trusting myself and my direction/choices as I believe myself as being less than others. 

I forgive myself for believing that I am less than others. 

I forgive myself for not trusting myself and my choices for seeing how I look at things as much different than how others look at things, and so have created a judgment of how I see/look at things as being the wrong way, the less responsible way, when I have proven to myself each time I have supported me in my choices that I grow, expand and succeed, as I can and am putting myself into my choices and way of seeing/looking at things fully, which counts works. 

I forgive myself for not having embraced the unknown as a reality within expressing self and that expressing self is an act of self-trust as it is moving into the unknown, and thus there cannot be justifications to be given and so self-trust to make a choice and live it fully is the only way forward without knowing and not fearing, as it isn't needed because I have myself and my self-trust which stands in every breath, living within my principles and standing. 

I forgive myself for not trusting my SEEING as my inner guidance from myself to what is possible and living it as my self-expression as who I am, and rather give into fears, justifications of the mind that leads to stagnation and condemnation.

Reality check points. 

I forgive myself for giving into the mind as supression, when the mind brings up years of supression in a moment where the mind will project imaginary realities of possibilities if ONLY I do this or that thing, go there or be there, and so create a depressing reality out of the current reality that is here, to generate a despair within me as to rush out of the current reality into the given one in my mind though the mind from years of self expression supression and so go into more supression and regrets and back chat, instead of seeing and realizing stop the mind, breathe, be here and direct self as self-expression within what is here.

I forgive myself for wanting to justify correction through and after realizing years of supression built up within me and what is here currently, through making big actions as to get back what I have not done, seeing and realizing that this is also fear and thus not a solution and a disconnect with relaity as it is, and so I slow down, I look to self for guidance, I support my self-expression herewithin what is here. 

The End