Day in and day out doing the same, the same thing every day,
the same routines, the same patterns, the same structures, the same short terms
and long terms patterns.
You can take a look for yourself, everyone reaches this stage
in their life, where the NEW and freshness of “life” is over. When everything
we started doing and wanted to achieve either came true or just never do, we
then fall into routines, where every day is the same from waking up to going to
sleep.
Have you reached this point yet? Where you sit down with
yourself and you take a look at yourself and your life, and you ask yourself
one simple question that can either bring you to a point of questioning reality
and getting some straight real answers and develop some self-honesty and get
moving forward, or you can ask this simple exact question and fall into a pit
of self-pity and victimization, which leads to depression, anxiety and many
other things that flow out from that in our lives.
If you have not reached this point in your life, then the
system that is here as the current accepted and allowed way of life on earth
for all life as abuse, fits you pretty well. Many find this system very
content, secure and relaxed, depending on their position and location within
this world which is determines by their financial positions and relationships
(sex) and that’s really all some people want and need to remain content and
forget about life as a whole.
After I spend already 10 years within the schooling system
within this world system, I reached this point as a final destination for
myself within this system. I remember sitting in class with all the other kids,
about 40 kids in one classroom. I looked around and I just saw all of us like
zombies watching the teachers saying things to all of us, like it is important
what she is saying, like it has the meaning and value of LIFE itself, and we
are all just accepting and allowing it, taking it as a natural progression, way
of life so to say. I kept looking at each kid, how they were sitting there by
this tiny desk with this massive school bag filled with books, with their pens
and books on the table and all of this for what?
I reflected in that moment on my parents, as the end result
of what I am not busy doing and what I am doing in school and what the results
will be for me after school and some years into the workplace. All I could see
was, work. A father that came home late nights from making money, a Mother
tired from looking after three kid and losing her own life/time, same for the
father and living for the day they can retire and finally live when they are
too old to live. (Not to mention all the bullshit and drama and all the other
relationships and emotional shit that comes with it all in between).
I had a moment after this reflection in the classroom, and I
had a slight fear/anxiety of feeling trapped, feeling like I am being forced
into all of this, when did I have a say, where did I take part in these
decisions of what my life must be and how it must be, when did I ever agree to
the system and wanting to work and live for money, I didn’t get a say in any of
it, I mean this system even gives the options and possibilities of poverty, famine
and starvation, rape and murder and crime, who the fuck decided this is my
options?
There HAS to be something else, something MORE, either the
possibilities of it, or I would have to make deliberate decisions that isn’t just
“normal”.
How at the age of 16 was it possible for me to already be
fucked up? To already be depressed and sad and stressed?
I started to rebel, I refused to just go with the flow of
the system. I ended up leaving school early and not finishing, I worked as a waiter
to earn some money. In the meantime I started venturing into finding out more
about life, about what is here and what are the possibilities on this BIG
planet of ours. In my mind I had an Idea of the world and our planet, that
there are still parts of this earth that does not belong to anyone and where
anything is possible, a place to run away to, to find a new world so to say on
this planet. I soon discovered that every single corner of the Earth has already
been occupied, and basically it is the same everywhere – what made it the same
everywhere was the one thing that was the same, and that is money and the
systems revolving around money.
Everything I wanted to do didn’t exist or weren’t possible
as I wanted to do it, due to money controlling everything. It is set up in such
a way that everything is monetized and that to have or do anything you need
money, there is no FREE WILL or FREE CHOICE as I was taught, it is either money
or not, and we know how it goes either way.
I then discovered in that time, that there was a new world,
a different world to still explore and go into, this was into me, into myself,
to journey inwards, as outwards was of no question anymore, everything started
to turn sour outwards, I started resenting and hating, I got angry and
frustrated, depressed and spiteful, to much conflicts started arising within my
world, which wasn’t good either.
This one moment, this one question of “is this all there Is
to life” threw me off a lot, and I know most people avoid even going into this
question, as it can and will shatter our “world” and we will be forced to face
some self-honesty with what we have suppressed and denied of ourselves for so
long by just taking it as it comes. It is the same thing as do not question
GOD, it Is actually that money is god, so do not question money, because if you
do question god/money and actually go into answering the questions for yourself
in self-honesty you will find with common sense that it is all nonsense, it
makes no sense and we are senselessly going through life, numbing ourselves to
reality and forgetting ourselves, real sell outs.
So, the journey inwards is very interesting, and quit a big
point within understanding as within so without, as we do not question, and so
simply accept and allow, as questions leads to answers that must be common
sense, and we can only but act and respond on what we have accepted as common
sense, if we do not, we create depression, anxiety and stress, as we are not acting
on what we know, so we know we are creating something that isn’t good, that’s why
we are stressed, anxious and fearful, because we KNOW we are accepting and
allowing brutal dishonest and evil shit, and thus from that point we deserve to
be full of fear, anxious and stressed, because we are doing nothing about life
on earth and the conditions that we are accepting and allowing, will come to us
as they are being done and given to billions of others.
To be continued
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