Day 322 – Money is a Dictator.

Here is the dictionary Definition of the word Dictator.

1. A ruler with total power over a country, typically one who has obtained power by force.
2. A person who tells people what to do in an autocratic way or who determines behavior in a particular sphere.

Money dictates everything I do on a daily basis, I am forced every day to work at a job that I have no interest in to make money, and with the Job comes more than just the job, I have to obey the boss, I have to obey the managers, I have to agree with co – workers even when I do not want to, even when I know that what I am doing is purposeless and has nothing to do with Life itself, but I have to do it to get the money that comes in on the end of the month.

Money forces people to do whatever there is to do, at work I have encountered a lot of people from the streets that ask me if there is a job for them at my work place, I tell them they must go ask the boss, they say they will do anything that needs to be done, they tell me they will mop, they will clean they will do whatever there is to do for a bit of money to feed themselves.

I have to wear the most uncomfortable cloths I can wear, tight pants that has delicate fabric that can’t touch anything rough or it gets damaged, it shows any form of dirt or hair on it, I wear white shirts with a tie, I have to wear shoes that are designed to literally just look good, it has no grip, it has no physical support in terms of the physical reality, all they do is shine and be bright, I have to wear deodorant that stinks and builds up sinuses, I have to clip my nails every weak for in-case it might be just a little bit too long according to what’s professional or not, I have to shave my face every morning for in-case there is some beard that might make me look dirty instead of sexy, I have to look clean and like a doll, for me to be able to keep my job so that I can have money.

I have to do whatever is asked of me in the work place from the boss, not because the boss is my boss, but because the money I get from my boss decides if I will do it or not, even when I am asked to go on runs for personal reasons for the boss, I do it, and I lose out on my working time where I can make money, but I can’t say no, the boss can start to dislike me and end up losing my job and have no money.

I have to Change my behavior at work completely to satisfy others so that I can make money, the behavior ends up becoming like every ones else’s behavior, it’s like an automatic thing that takes place, like no one notices it but everyone at work are exact copies of each other there, because it is that specific behaviors that is acceptable and brings in money lol. So much for freedom.

I wake up in the morning at six and I immediately start preparing myself for work, I do not wake up for myself, I wake up for the money, I wake up an hour before work to prepare for work to then go to work and then work all day for money, I drive hours a day in traffic and dealing with will I be late or not, for money.

I get home from work to only then rest and relax not for myself but for work again tomorrow, so that I can be effective while I work and do things properly so that I can earn my money.

I started this job two months ago and in that time I have lived and breathed only for money, there is no space for anything else, I have NO choice, I have no freedom, I have nothing of myself as everything is done for money, everything I say and do becomes about and for my job for the money.

We all believe we are so fucking free, yet no one has sat down and written down a entire day and what happens in a entire day in their life’s, and then a week – because if that has to happen we will all see a scary thing, it’s all the same, we are being forced and dictated by money to do what we do, but Most will delude themselves to believe that it is for freedom, it is for the weekend baby, but then the weekend is also used to forget and to party and to suppress, again for money, because people do that so that they can continue another week.

So the difference between capitalism and communism is, in capitalism you are given the Idea/believe that you are making the choice to be forced into doing certain things and in communism you are simple forced, but either way, you are forced and by the exact same thing, for money in both the ISMS.

I definitely vote for a entire new world system - were I can do work that isn't purposeless and wasteful and wasting my time just for money, but where work can be a way of LIFE a living a fun joyful act of self as it must be something that actually matters and not be a force just for survival, and survival for money, what the fuck is up with that - www.equalmoney.org

Day 321 – Falling behind on daily Blogging, getting up, moving forward

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall behind on blogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself, to brainwash myself that it is okay even when all evidence show there is no excuse but the mind making me its bitch.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my Day and what happened during my day and all together as an excuse to not blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the mind as a excuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and to deceive myself into believing that process stops whenever I think it does lol, seeing and realizing that process is always here in each and every moment and I can either support myself or not within re-birthing myself as life and standing one and equal as that which is here as Life as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall behind on daily blogs for not prioritizing what matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prioritize small points of entertainment above what matters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself Believe that after a full day of work I deserve to have small points of entertainment as a reward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a Mind slave to rewards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be a mind slave to small rewards as entertainment so that I do not have to feel like I am responsible, seeing and realizing that within that I know I am responsible for what is here and that I must act and move accordingly on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not take self-responsibility for what is here through giving into the mind as entertainment and postponing and worsening the situation not just for myself but the entire world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself for this point and to feel guilty, seeing and realizing that I must actually feel shame which I fear as I do not want to face the actual facts of reality and myself within this reality as the direct equal participant of what exist in and as the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend myself against shame, seeing and realizing that shame is what I must feel to realize my actual responsibility within and as this world and to see myself and how I create and manifest what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear shame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear all of me as shame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see that participating in entertainment while I know what needs to be done to end what is here is a deliberate act of spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing true shame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will and cannot see shame as I have numbed myself from shame through layering the shame with countless ways of entertainment as a distraction to reality which is a extreme reality of shame and disgrace of the entire human race which is me and all of it in my face.

I commit myself to when and as I am home and I see that I do have time, to take that time to do what matters and to do it till it is done.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am using the mind as an excuse to stop and to breathe and to direct myself within and as the physical real time within what is here in fact to do what needs to be done.

I commit myself to when and as I get home to not waist time on entertainment points that are irrelevant and have not matter to it, and to go and write my blog instead.

I commit myself to only have my entertainment time once I have done what needs to be done for the day within and as walking MY process for Myself as I really want t.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I have made walking my process a JOB to stop and to breathe within the realization that it is the mind really fucking me over, as the fact is that I enjoy writing my blogs and learning to know myself and to go to the points of Self support and assistance and where I can learn and actually see how I create my days and myself to within that have corrections to live and to challenge myself to change within each breathe to rebirth myself as Life as all that is here one and equal.

Day 320 – Tired Character the road to success Part 6

Day 318 - Reactive Character
Day 319 - Insecure Character

Fear Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other people asking me to move when and as I am tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will have to Not be tired to do my job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that when and as I am tired that I will miss out on what’s happening.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people will think I am weak when and as I am tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others will think of me when and as I am tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to appear as lazy when and as I am tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear tiredness in itself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the weakness in my body that I experience when I am tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing time when and as I am tired and moving slow and siting down for long periods.

Thought Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought where I see what I have to do to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought “where I doing something I do not look forward to” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of “seeing myself doing the same stuff again for the day ahead” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of “seeing myself having to deal with the same people again and taking what they are giving” to exist within and as me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of “seeing myself falling in the exact same routine as the day before and nothing changing” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of “seeing myself NOT getting to the things I want to because I will be so busy with the other stuff all day” to exist within and as me.

Imagination Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself sitting and doing nothing” while I am busy with work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Imagine myself resting from working or doing what I am doing and that within this I might enjoy myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the opposite of what I am doing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself Not dealing with any people for the entire day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the ideal way of spending my day where I am not working to much or where I am not dealing with people all the time when and as I am doing that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am asked to do something for someone to imagine myself not having to do anything for anyone for the entire day and how I would enjoy that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Imagine change during my day where I do not have to do the same things over and over again, seeing and realizing how this creates a tiredness within me as I am in conflict with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself going to bed early and that I will then not be tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself sleeping less and less and still Not being tired and how I do all the same things during my day and even better sometimes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Imagine How I have already Done all the things I wanted to do for the day and to then not have to rush or get stressed and can go to sleep without ever having a bit of tiredness and waking up feeling refreshed.
Internal conversations/backchat/voices
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “I must be coming forth as being lazy because I am tired” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the back chat of “I don’t want this day to be the same as every other day’ to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the internal conversation within me of “If I have to do the same shit again today I will be exhausted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the internal conversation of “ If I keep on doing this same work every day over and over I will get burned out and it will be the people giving me the works fault if I am tired and unable to work” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “ fuck I have to do this again” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the Voice in my head telling me “this isn’t your job, you should not do this, it is someone else’s job” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the voice within me saying “if the fuckers give my THEIR work to do again today I will go nuts’ to exist within and as me,
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when my day does not go according to how I wanted it to be as I imagined it to have the back chat of “ I am not getting anywhere, this is pointless” to exits within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I have to do the same shit over and over every day that is asked of me by someone else when it isn’t my job, to have the internal conversation of “this isn’t my work, why the fuck am I asked o do this, I will never be able to learn or to get somewhere with my own work if this continues, to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I Feel that everything I do isn’t my work to do, to have the internal conversation of ‘ This isn’t my work to do, so therefore I must be getting tired when I do this” to exist within and as me.

Reaction Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I am asked to do things that isn’t mine to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I am asked to do the same stuff over and over again every day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the reaction of feeling like I am going to explode to exist within and as me when and as the same stuff is asked of me to do over and over again as if it is a favor, like I want to do it, as if I am that kind of guy that leaves everything I have to do behind to do a favor for someone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I am asked to do someone else a favor, seeing and realizing how I have made it a believe within my mind that the more favors I have to do the more I will get tired, because favors have nothing to do with work but for someone personal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word favor and like it will be something that will tire me out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as my day isn’t going as I have imagined it to go and as I was intended to make it go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I am asked of a favor by the tenth person for the day as if I am a favor machine and that isn’t allowed to say NO. and to accumulate this anger I create of feeling abused and to eventually wanting to burst and instead keep it all in and becoming emotional and wanting to hide which then makes me tired and so I will hide within tiredness.

Behaviour Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become defensive within my words and actions when and as I am asked of a favor.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look down and to start making up excuses to why I can’t do the favor.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself in a way to avoid specific people so that I cannot be asked to do something such as a favor.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to avoid people that I know will ask of me to do thing that I did not imagine to do for the day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am given a task to do to rush myself as being a good boy that does what is asked, instead of breathing and moving within each breathe and so I see and realize that through pretending to be all good boy soldier doing what’s asked of him and rushing to do it as the polarity of what’s going on within me, is what makes me do thing Physically that tires me out and thus compromise myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become aggressive when and as I am pushed out of my imagination world into having to do things, even if it is for others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry within myself and so move and behave in a way that isn’t pleasant for me or others as I look like someone you want to avoid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move myself unnecessary just to look busy so that I cannot be asked to do something for someone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk a lot around in a rushing manner to give the impression that I am busy and cannot be asked to do anything, seeing and realizing how I am tiring myself out through following the mind as the wants and needs and desires instead of actually doing what required of me which will be a lot less then what I am doing just to avoid the work lol.

Day 319 – Insecure Character – Road to Success Part 5

Day 318 - Reactive Character, Road to success Part 4

Day 319 – Insecure Character – Road To Success Part 5

Fear Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking stupid in front of other people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sounding stupid in front of other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I have said the wrong things in front of others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking like a child when I am doing a man’s work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being taken seriously by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being physically inferior to others and for my age and design as being a male.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be seen as an equal in a group.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear smelling dirty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my voice does not sound man enough
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not seem tough enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as weak.

Thought Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see a picture in my head where I have already compared and judged myself to others and placed myself within a specific light as being insecure about myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of me not being accepted by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of someone I am interacting with seeing me as less then them and making fun of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of me being rejected by others as not seeming to have enough knowledge and information with me as they want to have from me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of me being objectified by others for the way I speak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of seeing myself being laughed at by others that are physically bigger than me and have real manly voices when I do not.

Imagination Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Imagine myself getting bullied by others that are Physically more than me in size and in manliness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself getting laughed at by the people I am communicating with about how I communicate and sound while doing so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself getting frowned upon by others because of how I might smell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself being rejected by others for the way I look today as how I dress.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself being belittled by others for being skinny.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself being questioned by others for how old I am as I still look sixteen but am doing real man work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself being teased by girls for the way I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself standing all alone while all the girls is grouped together looking at me and laughing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself getting in a fight because of other males finding me weak and pathetic and thus making me an easy target and so abuse me.

Internal conversations/Back-chat/voices
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “ Fuck that guy is Big” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “ God dammed I don’t have the info on that” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “ I hope I don’t sound stupid right now” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “dame I smell myself, please don’t let the girl’s smell me” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “I am so skinny and Thin, it must make me look weak’ to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “this person looks like everything I feel inferior to” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “I look like a sixteen year old when I am twenty three” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “why the fuck can’t I just look better and gain some weight” to exist within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “I must gain muscles and beard and a manlier voice to have confidence to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “I am stupid and must too stupid to’ to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “No one can take me seriously as long as I do not look my age’ to exist within and as me.

Reaction Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I am feeling stupid within a conversation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as someone comments on me being skinny.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as someone else comments on my body image.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I struggle to read something.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as someone else is behaving in a way that makes me feel small.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I stand on a scale and see I haven’t gained any weight in 4 years.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as someone else comments on how I smell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as girls say I am skinny.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as someone else tells me I am stupid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I have to interact with someone I have compared myself to as me being the inferior one.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when and as I do not have vocabulary that seems like it should be known by all already.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my own Image in the mirror.

Behaviour Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I feel insecure to fold my arms.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I feel insecure about my body image to stand straighter and puff out my shoulders as an attempt to hide what I am experiencing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I feel insecure about how old I look to attempt to look older through facial expressions that is intimidating.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I feel insecure about how smart I am or what knowledge and information I have to speak about thing I know more and more just to give a different impression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to clamp my arms down when and as I feel insecure about how I smell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk with my head down and my shoulders bulged in when and as I feel insecure about myself in general.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to make my voice deeper and more manly when and as I feel insecure about how I sound.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use laughter a lot and smiling a lot when and as I feel insecure about what is being discussed or talked about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind my smile when and as I am insecure about who I am in the moment and whatever is being discussed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a lot of physical movements when and as I am insecure about who I am within a discussion or a situation.

Day 318 - Reactive Character, Road to success Part 4

The Reactive Character, This Character is around during my day a lot, mostly all my actions/behaviors come from that of reacting.

Fear Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to Fear that I will be abused.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear that I am now going to do something I won’t like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear that I will have to obey someone I don’t like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear what the person will say.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, Fear that what is about to happen is about me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear that I will be involved.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear what might be coming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear the worst within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react, to fear that I will
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react to Fear what will happen afterwards.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react to fear that I will have to pretend now

thought Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a thought of seeing a picture in my head where I am doing something I do not like.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of seeing others looking for me in a picture of the past just to use me for their interests.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be used by someone just for their interest and that I will be the slave within doing so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thoughts of “seining someone being lazy and asking me to do something for them instead”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of doing the same shit as yesterday again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thoughts of seeing myself never getting to my own stuff and just being occupied with doing other peoples shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thoughts of unfairness where I will see in my head how I will be doing a lot and the rest as many will do almost nothing and still just ask me to do more and more.

Imagination Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the imagination to imagine how I am doing what I belief I am supposed to do in opposite of what is being asked of me to do all ay.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use imagination to create “perfect scenarios in my head of how I believe things should be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Imagination to create Fairness as situations pictures, voices, moving pictures in my head that is always to convince and proof to me that there is unfairness.

Internal conversations/Back-chat/voices
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back chat of “what the fuck do you want today” within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back chat of “don’t ask me to do you shit again” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have internal conversations within my head about others such as “ you are a lazy person, just look at what you do all day and still you have the guts to ask me to do more, wtf” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have back chat of “what the fuck do you want now, I need to starts working on what I am here for not your personal shit” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “fuck you I am doing what I want” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the back chat of “ Why are you asking ME’ exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the back chat of “ I am busy, don’t ask me shit” to exist within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the back chat of “it’s not my job, do it yourself” exist within and as me.

Reaction Dimension
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Anger when and as I react.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate the anger when and as I react through using it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the emotion of anger as an energetic experience to exists within and as me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerlessness within me when I react.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the powerlessness experience as a reason to react in anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the experience of feeling that I am gaining power when and as I react to justify why me reacting it the right thing to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use what I experience within myself as reasons and excuses to react to have the secret outcome as my 3wnats/needs/desires to come true.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see and realize that any attempt within reacting is to have a want/need/desire to be fulfilled which is based on self-interest which thus makes the reaction not valid and anything the reaction is about not true lol.

Behavior Dimension
Before.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be tense within my body in the expectation’s I have for the day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the behavior I am as before any reaction is the built up of the reaction as it is a polarity game and thus I need to be breathing and not creating shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I am relaxed I built up tensions of for when maybe the relaxing might end, and thus my behavior starts to change to where I will act certain ways to avoid being asked to do anything or say anything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the reacting character sits and creates the conversations in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk around thinking and making things up in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Pretend that I am busy and doing stuff when I am really not having to do anything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into avoiding things and people.

After. When reacting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I react to get physically stronger and stand more forward and in a almost fighting mode.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I react and I am possessed that I will tend to go far and walk and move more and try and get away from people just to not to have to do anything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be busy when and as I react towards someone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be annoyed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry when I react, to manipulate. Showing it isn’t real or valid already lol.
To be continued.

Day 317 – Road To success – the Road inwards Part 2

From Day 316 - Road to Success Part 1

Day 317 – Road To success – the Road inwards Part 2

Ok so from my last Blog I have gotten a view pointer to look at, first of all I will look at these points the Desteni Way, the way of taking self-responsibility for who I am.

This is what is in my way, now first let me make it clear, when I say it is in my way I am not saying it from a point of separation or like it is a Pest or like I have to now simply chuck that which is in my way aside, that is still separation.

When there is separation, there is fear – So I am taking this on to stand one and equal to that which is “in my way”, so that I can change from that, because standing one and equal means it is and will always be part of us and thus never have any control or power over self, because we are it, we decide.

So as the Who I am I can here look at the Personality that I have created myself as, as energy and then within the personality there are many characters that make up this personality.

Taking on each character point is the way to go, one part at a time.

Characters.
Funny Character.
Tired Character.
Reactive Character.
Obedient Character.
Approval Character.
Insecure Character.
Resistance Character.
Hiding Character
Slave Character.
Smiling Character
Frowning Character.
Kind Character
Friendly Character
Mean Character.
Lazy Character.

Ok those are a few of the characters, I can see that each character is connected to a specific word, as I the living words I am.

I will within this road to success take on each character. It will be to learn to know they self truly so that I can be true to myself.

First Character I will take on will be the reactive Character as that is the one I face the most, I will walk this character and the rest here within the following structure laid below as it was given within Heavens Journey to Life Day 162 Character Dimensions – Introduction.

Fear Dimension
Thought Dimension
Imagination Dimension
Internal conversations/Back-chat/voices
Reaction Dimension
Behaviour Dimension

To be Continued.

Day 316 – Road To success – Comfort Zone Part 1

A couple of weeks ago I went to a Training course in being a salesman. At this training we discussed a couple of points that is Vital within being a excellent salesmen.

The guy that was training us wasn’t necessarily training us, he was just giving us all the information and within giving the information he gave expressions to express how it can be done, he talked very confident and he was very sure of himself and he did not have any comfort zone.

So what I am going to talk about the Comfort Zone point. Because this guy said the most important thing there is within being a excellent salesmen is to step beyond our own comfort zones.

This I already knew, I learned this from Desteni and within my process and walking my process points.

But hearing this from a Trainer and that it is the most important point was like getting the information from another point of view, so I now bring both sides together, the Desteni Side and the System Side.
First I would like to add why not many people aren’t successful, and this is also what the training guy said, Because NO one ever steps outside of their own comfort zones, this is because we are controlled by fear, and as Desteni has shown me through my own investigation of the material, Fear is a creation only possible when we participate within consciousness as the Mind.

Because as long as we have a mind we have what we call “personal” which is a Personality, and as we all know personalities are Only limitation because we have to have certain things that we LIKE and Dislike to define the personalities, thus we have limitations to what we can do.

Personalities are created through past experiences that then become memories and eventually our thought patterns and what we think about, and what we talk about and what we fear and not fear and like and dislike, so we are defined by experiences (by the past) and thus we accordingly create personalities.

And each and every personality as a consciousness has a comfort zone, this comfort zone keeps the personality in check, in place it constantly defines the personality and thus, when people are asked to step outside of their comfort zones it is usually excused by saying, its not in y personality to do that.
Well obviously it isn’t, because we are consciously thinking about the fears and the insecurities and all the things that we don’t like.

Back to the training day, on this training day the guy asked someone to volunteer, before he even told us what we are volunteering for, I placed my hand in the air as I knew I was resisting going there and thus fearing leaving the comfort zone, I was picked and I was asked to stand in front of the “class”. Everyone else was saying: how can you put your hand up without even knowing what’s happening, how can you volunteer if you don’t even know what you have to do. I said, this is stepping out of my comfort zone.

I did not know the people there, we were all strangers at the same table, I was given “thing” to sell, I did not know what the thing was yet I had to sell it, I was given one minute to sell it.

So here within this test I failed, because the trainer wanted to make a point, he said that we Must step outside of our comfort zone, but if we do not have confidence within ourselves then stepping out of the comfort zone is useless.

As it was proven, I may have stepped out of my comfort zone, but I did not know what I was selling at all, I had no knowledge or information to apply practically once I step out, so I instead was faced with doubt and uncertainly that creates insecurities.

So back to the Desteni message and how to step out of the comfort zone as I have found it through testing it for myself.

Stepping out of the comfort zone is and will always be stepping into the unknown, but then the unknown will become known obviously.

So it isn’t to look for zones that is comfortable, because then we will never find it, we must be comfortable with ourselves as who we are, this means that we as who we are can comfortable be in any zone, because there is peace of mind, peace of mind being no mind, no consciousness as Limitation, it is being with ourselves here as the physical breathing, moving and directing.

I can write the philosophy and the theory, but the question is always How do I practically Live this, how to I go about and practice it.

I use that day at the training as a reference to how I can do it, for instance if I want to sell something, I know that selling a product will be going into the unknown as I haven’t done it before, I know that I will be leaving my comfort zone, as my personality has never had to do that, go there, so I never had t push or face fears or insecurities.

So from the training day I have seen, that I know when I will enter a unknown zone, when I will have to leave my comfort zone, and then I know as I am selling a product I can only do one thing, Give to myself all the practical tools that is and will be required to Direct and move myself effectively within the unknown zone, not from a point of fear, fear cannot be the moving foundation.

So if I know I am going to sell a car, the I know the tools I can give myself is Knowledge and information on the cars, that is knowledge and information that I can PRACTICALLY apply, not useless bullshit knowledge and information that just hangs around, and then I am prepared.

Because the unknown zone will be talking to ALL kinds of customers that want to know what ever they want to know, they want to discuss weird things maybe or not, or they want to know details that I never considered to include within having to know.

So here I how I have applied leaving my comfort zone – when I see a customer, I go to them no matter what I things/belief/fear because I know that is my personality wanting to keep me in the comfort zone, so I step out, I have read about the cars I have informed me and I even take the pamphlets with sometimes.

And what do you know, I say hi and they say Hi and then they ask me questions, it isn’t included in what I red about the cars or in the pamphlets or anywhere I could have gotten hold of it, so here I can have a reflecting moment on what I need to know, what I need to change and get informed on.

And so the more and more I step out of my comfort zone the more and more I learn, and I get confidence, sometime I lose confidence because I can’t answer anything, I use that not as a negative or a positive, I use it as practical feedback.

And this I keep doing, if I never stepped out of the comfort zone I would have never learned, I would have never known what was required or what I need to do, I would have sit and waited in the office and waiting till it comes to me, which is quite impossible.

So the can be taken to all areas of life, in practical meaningful ways, not stupid Nonsensical ways, what we do must be common sense and practical and best for all life, don’t go jumping off a cliff just because you believe that is leaving the comfort zone, that is called stupidity.

To be continued.

Day 315 - Christmas at eleven Part 3

Day 313 - Christmas at eleven Part 1

Day 314 – Christmas at eleven Part 2


I commit myself to when and as I am expecting something to not create mind expectations that are based on energy experiences such as a positive or negative experience, but to only expect with the fact that something is coming for me.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I have created expectations about something to stop and to breathe and to remain HERE within and as breathe.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am creating expectation about a present or a gift that I am about to receive to stop and to breathe and to realize that it is a gift and thus it is a present and not supposed to be known and thus all and any mind Ideas I have created about the gift is invalid as it is in contradiction to what a gift is, to not know what it is.

I commit myself to when and as I do want something as a gift and I do have to opportunity to ask for what gift I may have to make myself clear within what I want to the other person within actually exchanging words and to have confirmation on that it is understood.

I commit myself to when and as I want a specific something and the opportunity is here for someone to Gift me with that something to be clear on what I want and WHY I want it so that there cannot be any mind interpretations on what they believe or might think I want in terms of how much the gift cost or so on.

I commit myself to be clear to others on what I want and why I want it even if it may look cheap, so that it can be clear that I do not want money value as a gift but actual purpose value that I will practically use and need.

I commit myself to when and as I see that i am or have not been clear to stop and to breathe and to not go into Hope, Hoping that the other person might get what I want and to then create all the inner mind projections of what hope I might get and to then get excited about it, seeing and realizing that the excitement is energy transmitted from fear to seem positive, seeing and realizing that the fear is created from the “knowing” that it wants communicated effectively and thus hope is fear, to Bring myself back through focusing on my physical reality here to not participate within the mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I get angry/mad/outraged about a present/gift not being what I wanted to stop and to breathe and to see where I haven’t been clear and How I in fact created the anger/madness/outrage within me through my own actions, through and as participating within alternative realities within my mind that isn’t based on facts even but hope and excitement and dreaming and imagination and how the reality check then becomes to cruel to handle and thus my bubble gets burst and so I actually in that moment am facing me and being angry/outraged/mad at myself fro giving into the delusions/illusions of the mind and that I never in fact checked or made clear what I wanted and thus I know in that moment that I could not and cant blame anyone but myself and thus take self responsibility through correcting myself where I see I gave space for the mind to take me over.

Day 314 – Christmas at eleven Part 2

Day 313 - Christmas at eleven Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was clear with my mother what I wanted for Christmas, seeing and realizing that it was an assumption as there was no Yes or No on if she was clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume I am clear on a point without even having a confirmation on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume instead of making 1000% sure that it is so in fact or not through asking directly to get a direct confirmation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited from the perspective or assuming that I was getting what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited from assumptions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that being excited from an assumption is a recipe for disaster and the creation of the opposite of excitement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume the position of excitement within the interpretation of believing that my mother knew what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I might have shown my mother what I wanted but that to her it could have been interpreted as many other things in the same section that I wanted and not just that specific thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a toy from the mind as an Idea that I have created about the toy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the toy that I wanted more within my mind then what it is in reality, making/creating a desire for the toy as a energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a energy experience to the toy I wanted, instead of breathing and seeing and realizing that the toy isn’t a energy experience about a practical thing I can play with physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire a toy according to how I have already played with it in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch Spider man on TV and then to go to the mall and look at the Spider-man toy and while watching the toy I play scenes out from the story on TV and thus making it way awesome then what it will be in reality where I run with the toy spinning him through the air and he can’t really do much more then what I can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to life in an alternate reality as the Mind and to create myself and what I like and Dislike within my mind within this alternate reality and to then when and as reality hits me and it isn’t what I like, to then feel like crying and like breaking things and becoming a destroyer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel betrayed by reality when I got the wrong present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I betrayed myself through participating in a alternative reality as my imagination with the toy I desired without even really knowing for sure if I was getting it an then when i got the toy to be all outraged and full of sadness and anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for not knowing what I wanted for sure and getting it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel like my Mother was a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I wasn’t allowed to express myself when it wasn’t the toy I wanted because the toy cost more than the original one I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Money on that day to how good a present must be, that what I wanted did not matter in terms of what Money tells me about a toy, the cheaper the worse, the more expensive the batter, even if the more expensive one is a really STUPID toy and can go burn in hell for all I care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the more money my mother spend on me the more it meant she cared for me, and thus I wasn’t allowed to express my sadness otherwise I would have proved her wrong and make her feel bad for spending more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Connect how much a present costs as how much value the present must have in happiness and to over write the actual want for the toy which was practical in terms of me having to play with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress how I feel just because I fear bursting someone else’s bubble of happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as i got angry/outraged/sad to suppress it all within me as I did not know what was happening to me, what I was experiencing and to then go in secret and express it as being abusive, such as kicking and throwing the toy that I did not want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sit down with my mother and express to her what I was experiencing so that it could be explained to me and so that I could understand, and so that the miss communication between us could have been resolved and it could have been made clear that It wasn’t the money value of toys that I wanted but the actual purpose of the toys that mattered to me.

To be continued.

Day 313 - Christmas at eleven Part 1

I am eleven years old, it is Christmas time, we are all getting presents, I believe I made it clear to my mother what Toy I wanted, she knew what I wanted, and it wasn't that expensive.

I was very excited to get my present, we were all around the tree in the lounge. My mother wanted us to wait till nighttime came, but we could not, we kept on asking and asking to open our presents, she eventually gave in and said okay, so we all gathered closer and we took our presents one by one to open.

I got my first present and it wasn't something that awesome, then the next person and so on, then it was my urn again, it was the present from my mother, I was already FULL of expectations. With the deep desire and craving fro that toy I wanted, I took off the paper from the present, it wasn't what I wanted.

I wanted a spider-man toy that could move his arms and legs and all the cool stuff that makes it more real when I play with it, and it cost like fifty rand, my mother got me a Spider-man toy. This was a Spider-man sitting in a car, cant take him our or anything, and you can put the spider man in the car into this launcher and then push a button and it shoots the car out to drive a few meters, this present cost about three hundred rands.

I felt like crying, but I could not, I saw the Joy and happiness on my mothers smile from giving her children presents, and I could not express myself in that moment as being extremely angry, I held it all in and I created a massive resentment towards my mother, all in that instant moment.

I kept on smiling and pretending to enjoy the toy, taking it and putting it in and letting it be launched. The more I did this the more I got angry and angry, I started behaving in a spiteful manner, I hated myself for hating the toy and my mother, I started blaming the toy.

After everyone got their toys I tried switching toys with my smaller brother, selling it to him why he would like it, I don't remember what he got but it was better then mine in that moment.

He did not want it, but I let him play with it, secretly trying to make him like it, so that I can switch toys in the end, it never happened because he got board of it as-well very quickly.

Once I was alone with myself and the toy I wanted to break the FUCKING toy, I wanted to cry with outrage, I did not, I instead Kicked the fucking toy, it isnt what i wanted, and No one fucking listened to me when I showed them what I wanted, but my mother was so happy, I could not sadden her, I also feared making my mother feel like she is a bad mother and that she wasted her money on the toy, she did waist money as I Never after that day touched it again.

Even now as I write this, I experience shame and sadness for who I was and still am, and towards my mother. She meant well and there I was being evil inside of myself, creating this world and feelings/emotions towards here in secret.

I remember I could not stand who i was in that moment, yet I was that in that moment, that evil, that secret world of pure hate/resentment/spitefulness. And it all

Self Forgiveness next.

Day 312 - Who the bleep cares about Animal Rights - I am just not into it.

Today I was sitting in the car waiting for work to begin, i arrived half an hour earlier then others, so I listened to the news and ate some bananas. On the one radio channel there was a person speaking about another person. This person went to a Protest today, and he/she was in his/her words and way of speaking about the other person seem a bit stupid or dumb, or Like what he/she is doing is kind of a thing for Losers, and that what he/she is doing is something you have to be INTO. This person made it really sound like people that are not into what the other person is into are Cooler people.

The person he/she was talking about went to a Protest For Animal rights, he/she isn't into animal rights and he/she personally would not go to such a protest, and he/she will continue eating meat and wearing leather cloths,

This does imply he/she does not care what pain and suffering is done on the animals for what they are going through so that he/she can have personal opinions on matters that matter, ANIMAL rights, instead of having the fact that needs to be addressed and giving that to the people.

Has anyone EVER asked any animal - Hey do you care about animal rights, of course the animal will say YES, FUCK it is a living being living and sharing this planet equally with US. So why the fuck does the human have the right to SAY what we want over and about animal rights, why does the Human have the apparent power to decide if animals have rights or not. What the FUCK.

I am pissed and I am sharing how pissed I am, we want to keep this as real as possible. Because the matter at hand is fucking real and matters, it is about our neighbors we call animals that No one gives a fuck about, and those FEW that do, are frowned upon as being depressed people, they are seen as dorks and people that do not have a life and that only sees the negative in life, well if we all turn a blind eye just for the sake of seeing deluded positivity then we are truly FUCKED.

I will share both sides of the story - the person on the radio then turned his/her conversation to - 'Go and support the protest, If you are into that kind of stuff'. This is clearly separating oneself from the actual problem that is everyone's responsibility to address and making it a thing of Choice, it isnt a fucking choice, it is real and needs drastic attention from each and every person.

So apparently caring about animals that are losing their Land/habitat/food/shelter and that are being poached and butchered and tortured and raped (yes animals get raped here on earth by humans) you have to be into that kind of stuff to do anything about it, of stopping the human/us from consuming the earth and Killing billions of animals and putting them to extinction and on endangered species lists, and only then may you go ahead and do it. But you have to be INTO it.

Millions of people are listening to this radio station from all over our country, so what is the message that was given to the people listening, Radio people must place a guard in front of their mouths and NOT fucking speak until they are clear and only speak what is best for all.

I mean, we live in a time where people Must act and stand up, and if a person over the radio discourages people from taking a stand and from facing the extreme fact of the negativity we exist in through spreading opinions instead of facts and reality, then such a person must be held accountable for each and every word when the time comes, where the words was spoken from Opinions and not fact, Knowing that millions are listening and taking advice from the person speaking on the radio, I mean, we place trust in what we hear and the advice that is given to us over the Media networks, especially if the person speaking is someone we hear daily and learned to 'like'.

I am angry because we Live in a time where animals, our neighbors living and sharing earth with us needs our help more then ever, where we as Humans need to be informed and educated on the facts of life and how things actually work, so that people do not blabber for instance - shit over the radio based on opinions, so that we can take action and responsibility and stop hiding through saying things like, I am not into that. just because it was given as a valid justification over the radio by someone that is trusted by the people. Wtf....

And then the other side of the same coin, the people, the few that DO care about the animals are daily taking shit from people that they are so Negative, that they must get a Life, that they must grow up and stop dreaming, that they must get real, that they must get a boy friend or girl friend and that they must not take out their depression on others through speaking truth and reality, are the ones actually caring about those discouraging them from caring.

Because these few that stand up for the animals/nature/earth that everyone see as uncool people and as losers and as outcasts are doing what they are doing for the very people hating them. Looking down on them, because without earth, without animals, without nature you/me/we all are Fucked, and not in an instant moment it will be years of suffering, brutality, we will face a slow and unforgivable death, because we were to cool for it, we were just not into caring about animals/plants/nature.

I encourage everyone to investigate Equal Money System. take a stand. learn to stand practically and responsibly, there is a way and it is together. Protests/revolutions does not work, yes the people car, but they do not work. it is the Very system that we need to change. don't be a fool and try and be to fucking cool, get real face the music.

Day 312 – She is Pregnant Part 3

Day 310 – She is Pregnant, what do I do Now??

She is Pregnant, Change the world? Part 2 - Day 311 

I commit myself to when and as I see the fear coming up within myself towards what exist within this world and which I am bringing in a child into to stop and to breathe and to not accept and allow the fear to direct my actions or the decisions that I make, instead I give myself the opportunity to investigate the fear and to see why I have created fear towards the world and what is here in separation of myself, instead of standing one and equal as all that is here as me being in fact a direct creator of what is here as I am here and thus I must take self responsibility.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am not trusting myself with and as my baby to stop and to breathe, and to trust myself as the Physical as that which is here and real.

I commit myself to when and as I Fear the world and that my baby has to go into this world to stop and to breathe – seeing and realizing that there are Millions of children in this world that has to face this world every day, and that I cannot separate my child from what is here and that my child must stand one and equal with and as the system to be able to walk the system effectively and not in fear.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am trying to Hide the world from my child to stop and to breathe – seeing and realizing that it is quite obvious that my child is in this world and that my child must be in this world but does not have to be a part of the world and yet that my child will be effective within this world.

I commit myself to when and as i see that I am trying to act and behave around my child in ways that is from and as fear to stop and to breathe and to realize myself here as the Physical and to focus on the physical and to use the physical as my guidelines.

I commit myself to give all the tools I can to my child as common sense and self honesty and practicality and all the Physical skills that I can and reading and math so that my child is fully equipped to make his/her own decisions that is best for all life.

I commit myself to raise my child to always live what is best for all life.

She is Pregnant, Change the world? Part 2 - Day 311

Day 308 - When she told me – “She is Pregnant.”
Day 310 – She is Pregnant, what do I do Now??

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear all the dangers in the world that I will bring a Child into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I must Fear what is here and then take action, seeing and realizing that if I take actions from the starting point of fear then that is what I will teach my child, to Fear first and then to take action, seeing and realizing that I must look at the fear and forgive myself for the fear that I have created and accepted and allowed and the through common sense and self honesty look at the point with and from a clear point of being a participant in this reality and how to take Actions within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Only now that I am bringing a child into this world to suddenly care about what happened to “my” child, seeing and realizing that there are Millions of children in this world that is NO different to the child I will be bringing into this world and that the caring must be equal for all children, I also see and realize that within practicality caring and doing for all children right now as I can for my child isn’t practical at all as I do not have this power, and thus I see and realize why this world MUST change, so that what I want for my child can and will be given to ALL children equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only take action and really care about how the world is now that I am going to have a child, seeing and realizing the self interest within this and why the world is the way it is, as no one is standing and walking in the shoes of others as themselves to actually care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear the world I bring my child into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my child will end up in situations that Is accepted and allowed for other children to exist within, seeing and realizing that what I accept and allow to exist for ALL children as all possible situation and environments to exist in will thus exist as possible situations/environments for my own child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the fears I have for my child is existent because of the facts that I am in a world where we as a collective are accepting and allowing daily other children that isn’t our own to exist in the exact situations/environments that we fear for our own children, instead of Fucking changing this world to a place where these environments/situation do not exist and isn’t even a possible option, which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the fears I have for my child is existent because I have seen Other Living actual children in situation that I as an adult do not even want to live in exist within and that what I fear isn’t some form of fantasy, but that it is an actual reality for Millions of children in this world and that I know if it is possible for those children to exist in places where they do then it exist for my child as well, as we live in a world created by man where Money decides everything and we are just subjects to the money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I Fear for my child because I have been accepting and allowing other children to Live in poverty and to exist in abusive environments and where there are rape/murder/disease/brutality and everything that is Not a way of life any of us ever want to exist in, and that in the past I didn’t care for them or try and change the world for them, and that now I see that if my child will ever have to be in such a situation that No one will ever give a fuck or help, as that is what I have accepted and allowed one and equal. Thus I see and realize that it is MY responsibility to change the world to a place that is best for all LIFE, for all children equally all around the world, so that I know, I actually care, that I cannot accept and allow anything for any child that I do not desire for myself or my own child. Because that will mean I truly care for my child, that I change the world (obviously with a group of people and so the rest of the world together, but it starts with myself) investigate Desteni and Equal Money System.