Victimization - Self-Forgiveness

 

 

First realization/insight of the word.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the word VICTIMIZATION does not mean I am victimizing myself, that it is showing others are victimizing themselves by making me or others cruel or unjust in how they view things within a victim mentality, and thus place themselves as victims and thus whatever I/you say within self-responsibility is/are diminished as they are now victims of YOU/I and not of their own doing through using the past/events/circumstances to victimize themselves as not responsible, but you are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR standing up, speaking and saying what is needed as what is here as best for all life without the fear of victimization from others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear victimization from others, that I would lose my stance, my standing within what is best for all, as I fear I will give into their reasons and justifications for being victims instead of standing as life, as what is best for all as self-responsibility. 

Take a LOOK at the definition of victimization (different then victimizing and victim)

the action of singling someone out for cruel or unjust treatment.

"we should be able to speak up without fear of victimization"

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to people that participate in victimization and to go into the believe that they have a point as to victimizing themselves, and so within that curl up and crawl back into my corner. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as someone is victimizing to go into their points and to then think, they are right, they are victims and I am cruel and evil for standing within common sense and what is best for all as self responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR someone else playing victimization, as to make me cruel and singling me out for unjust behaviour by speaking what is here as common sense within WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL as self-responsibility. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how much of humanity play the victimization card to not take self responsibility for their actions and their living and the circumstances here on life, through making others cruel and unjust, yet they who victimize as self-righteousness do nothing real or practical that is within self-responsibility. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself with victimization of others. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that victimize (blame, make them cruel, unjust) others as placing themselves as victims in their reasons and justifications.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that when I deal with others who Victimize as victimizating others, that if I react and stop acting and standing, I am judging them and so I fall into the exact same boat of victimization and thus I am no different, and so within that create a reality of victims, as no one stand. 

BACK TO SELF

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to VICTIMIZE others, such as the world system, the world leaders, the Elite, RACE, where I have placed responsibility onto them as being the CRUEL and UNJUST ones, which places me in a position of being the VICTIM that can apparently do nothing and must just victimize, blame and point fingers to feel empowered in a weird way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize my family, where I make them cruel and unjust for the things they did and place myself outside of responsibility where I can now simply remain as a victim that has no part to play within my mind of delusions, as to not correct anything within reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize my work colleges, where I make them cruel and unjust within their actions and what they have done/doing, as to say to myself that I NEVER had anything to do with it, as I am apparently not cruel and unjust and so place myself in a corner where I can now act as a "victim" of my mind, leaving no point of self-responsibility open to stand equal and to change anything. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to VICTIMIZE my partner/husband/wife, where they can not say anything, do anything, as I am placing all cruelty and unjust onto them, as to make them the perpetrators of victimization, as if they create victims, taking no self-responsibility or responsibility for our life together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a perpetrator of victimizing myself as to always blame others as creating victims through their actions, not seeing and realizing that I am the one playing victim making other victim creators as a way to hide from myself and self-responsibility to take action and live as a co-creator. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a VICTIMIZER - as someone that places all responsibility onto others as a way to create out of them people that ONLY creates VICTIMS and so I am a victim, as I have been part of their lives, NEVER taking responsibility for myself, my actions, my thoughts, my words and just place it onto others.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to SEE and REALIZE that victimization is a CHARACTER that runs around using stories, the past, circumstances and events to BLAME others as to why they are responsible for my life to be fucked, as they create "victims such as myself" as a back chat to their story that motivates them to continue to Victimized reality, and thus this character creates a NATION  of victims with righteousness to be victims such as themselves, never taking a step in self-responsibility as a co-creator in life, equally, as I see and realize this character within me and I forgive this character, I let it all go, stand as responsibility, as reality, as one as equal within what is best for all life. 

 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that any form of victimization is BULLSHIT, for RACE, for POLITICS, for CULTURE, for ECONOMICS, all has to be taken back to self within self responsibility to actually change anything within this world to something worth LIFE as what is best for all life.  

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that the reason NOTHING has changed in life from Racial points, to politics to economics is because everyone is a character of VICTIMIZATION and no one is taking self-responsibility as LIFE as what has existed here  in all ways for anyone and everything within all time, and so we have to STOP, slow down, see the cycle of victimization as making others, something else the point of cruelty and unjust, and to stop holding onto that as it has proven to do NOTHING that is best for all life, as we must learn to be responsible as co-creators that has always accepted and allowed everything together, and so we must come together within self-forgiveness to stand as examples of LIFE here within what is best for all life. 

Day 638 - What do I STAND as, Fear or Life?

What I fear I attract. When I leave my brothers and Sisters to fear I equally accept and allow the attraction/creation. 

Fear is an illusion, when we stop fear it does not exist. So why do I fear? The question changes here to be more specific to rather what do I fear, what is more specific than why, why is simple, I fear because of the believe that I am separate from ALL that is here, so I place myself in a bubble of me against everything, where everything is against me, where I am in a consistent state of blame, victimization, fight or flight, control and following irrational thoughts and thinking. 

When I ask what I fear, I can see where I have accepted separation and abdicated responsibility for myself, and when I abdicate responsibility as myself, I abdicate responsibility for ALL and everything that is here, as I am all that is here as the manifestation of what is here one and equal. This places me within a consistent position of fear/paranoia/stress and anxiety. 

What I fear is HOW I will die, and within the fear of HOW I will die, I fear suffering, what I will go through, how the death of me will be, I fear suffering, I fear torture, I fear abuse, I fear a position of powerlessness where I have NO say, no way out,  no way of making a difference or preventing what is going to be done onto me or could be done onto me to the point where I die, and then what I fear after that is either existing with this trauma for eternity as what I went through or simply not existing/destroyed. 

Can I make peace with suffering? Can I stand one and equal to suffering, to torture, to the abuse and abuse of the physical body that is intentional and against my will, can I stop the fear of this, and even when this occurs, if it were to occur, can I stand equal and one within such a moment, and yet not have fear, to not give into the mind as illusion and to actually be here and stand within who I am. 

Sure, it isn’t necessary, what is my fear telling the universe/LIFE/existence? It is saying, please let this point manifest so that I can face it just to not fear it, so I see and realize that either way, I can stop the fear, or manifest the fear to only end up stopping the fear anyway, only to realize that after it all, I am still here, I am okay and I must move forward. Either in this life or the hereafter, I am always with me, and fear either way is useless and an illusion.. 

FEAR is showing us as humanity how to manifest within this holographic existence, where we are collectively GOD, and what we participate within we manifest in fact, we as humanity, as a whole together always, through all time, are manifesting and creating. 

Scriptures such as the Bible are passed on sins, it is a book where people have written the past and the future within, and so have locked in generations to keep on creating the revelation as the end of days as it is passed on, because this book is a great example of how what our grandparents FEARED as the end of the world to come should be ,and yet has never come, yet we as the grandchildren still now carry that end times scripture within us, as if we are taking a burning torch and carrying it on to keep it burning and thus keep this manifestation in sight and creating it. And so it shall be. So, to be clear that this is showing what we fear isn’t necessarily manifested in our lifetimes either, as manifestation takes time, but take a look, we as HUMANITY are GOD and to god (the physical/life) a day is a thousand years on earth. A thousand years is plus/minus 12 fully lived generations for the human form as god vessel. 

If we strongly believe in the end of days, the end of the world, we will create it, we will make it happen, we WILL manifest it and we will experience it as a collective, as humanity, if we BELIEVE heaven on earth will be here within a hundred years, it will be so, we will create it, we will make it so. Yet, FEAR seems to be the easiest path, suffering seems to be preferred path above real labour/work and to create and be creators. 

Ask yourself this, whos fears/illusions are we carrying like a burning torch to keep it alive, to manifest it,, to make it so, and WHY? and we must realize that we keep running with that torch forward in the holding of the FEAR within us, as the signs of the TIMES manifest more and more these end times, because of already hundreds of years of manifestations (so the fear become sgreater as physical evidence is now manifesting as "evidence" to manifest that illusion/fear and so we do not stop, because we fear doing somthing in vain if we stop, and that ALL we have believed in, participated within to menifest a fear will have been for nothing, and the evidence that is here of apparent end times and suffering will be proofed to not have to be so further is we simply STOP the fear and manifestation of it, so we would rather NOT stop and keep going just to not do it for nothing, even if it means destroying everything and going through unpresidented suffering for generations. That is mental. 

I have witnessed this for myself, how I can be SOO lazy that I would rather live in a dirty room with things standing everywhere and me just sitting on my ass because I feel like it, rather than getting up and cleaning my room. because if I have to get up, I would realize, shit I have been lazy all this time and the reasons I had for my room getting dirty are invalid now. how dissapointing for me to realize I was responsible, nothing else to blame and to victimize myself.

I have seen how I prefer the mess, the chaos, the destruction and negligence of things within my world, within MYSELF as who I am, OVER spending some time, some moments of a bit of “discomfort” to create myself, to develop and to expand, I would rather live in a world of complete disorder and discomfort as my surroundings than having some discomfort WITHIN myself as my experience and my body to mvoe a bit.

Because I FEAR I will fuck up, and so through the fear of fucking up, I have given up and simply let everything be a fuck up, because that way nothing can be pinpointed to ME being the fuckup, because..... LOOK!! everything is a fuckup, there is no evidence to blame me, I didn’t create this. 

Why are we accepting and allowing the destruction of earth? Because we all fear if we stood up and showed our heads, then we will suddenly be responsible, and thus it will be able for others to blame and judge us, so we rather not get up at all and just get lost in the mess, to hide in the mess, and we would rather be murdered, starve and go through horrendous experiences such as the end of the world than having a bit of discomfort within ourselves, we hate inconveniences, yet we as a group as humanity accept and allow TOTAL inconvenience for earth and our species as life here in the physical – as long as we just do not experience anything inside of ourselves that is uncomfortable for a moment to change the COURSE of things, because, YES!! it will take some hardcore action as a whole/group.

There is NO stopping what we have already given permission to, to manifest and that has already manifested and that now will be a consequential outflow of the acceptances and allowances as our FEARS to manifest from the past and present, and yes whatever we can imagine as our fears will come true, this is oneness and equality, this is what it means to be god in fact, we create what we BEHOLD in our eyes.
 

But, we are god right?

For a moment, take in the fact that you are god in fact, you manifest in fact what has been, that is here and what will be, what if god (you) stop, a dead stop, what if god simply does not move forward on what is already here, and say, till here and no further, I forgive myself, I accept full responsibility for what is here as ALL time, all consequences, I forgive all fear, I stand as LIFE, I will myself to stand as what is best for all life, I stop to fear my brothers and sisters, I stop the illusion of separation, I am all that is here as LIFE, I allow myself to let go of all illusion of fear, no matter how extreme the fear is, I stop, I am here, be still and Know that I am god, I am god, what does that mean, be still, still and darkness within, remove yourself from the fear manifestation propoganda of the mind, stop being one particapating within it, be STILL within and STILl within not moving with the massess, this way we change the MASS that everything consist of to be that of silence/stillness, we make a dent, we then stand as darkness/god and we create within the principle of LIFE.

I realize that I am the one in fact behind the steering wheel, I can turn around now, I do not linger anymore in regret, in shame, I no longer linger in the illusion that it is too late, I Stand as LIFE.I realize there is no honour in continueing forward with the path of fear, there is no respect, so what ever I fear losing by stopping isn;t a loss at all of nothing, it is a GAIN in life.

I must suffer and overcome mountains before I can change

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to suffer before I can change, that something must happen to me or that I must go through something in my life for me to change and for my change to be able to be justified and have reason to why I changed, instead of changing here in each and every breath. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my change has to be justifiable through things or something that happens to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must go through a lot of conflict with others to FIND the points I must change within me as to be able to state that I have changed because of all the conflict I have faced and thus I actually create conflict deliberately within my reality to create the points of justification that I need to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must go through a complex process of experiences and situations before I can change and stand as life, where I still believe that life requires a reason and justification to change and stand as itself, as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me here isn’t enough to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to become more to be able to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am currently as all of isn’t enough to stand as life, and thus place me as life out there as something I must reach, not seeing and realizing that this cycle will never end as I will always place I am not enough in front of me and thus have a never ending story.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that LIFE is here, I am here, that I must stop my thoughts, feelings and emotions and be here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see myself as worthy of life and thus I have created this process of change in my head that I must go through before I can become worthy of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that LIFE as the other parts of me wants me as this part of life to suffer and punish me before I can stand one and equal with all life as all parts of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that LIFE has abandoned me and that I have abandoned myself as life and within believing this I have created an Idea in my head that I must suffer and walk a process of suffering before I can be allowed back to life, as a point of redeeming myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself form life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my life and life hard on myself through the idea nd believe I have about LIFE within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it hard t in fact see and realize that I am life and that I as life do not want me as life to suffer and wlak a long hard process, that I as life welcomes me as life to life any moment, I must simply stop my thoughts feelings and emotions and thus honour myself as life and stand as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind as my thoughts feelings and emotions is a fun place to be within and that life as all of me isn’t a fun place to be within as I have valued my mind so much that I actually fear losing my mind, stopping my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project me changing and when I change into the future after some time, after I have walked a process first according to what I believe I must face and go through and thus create it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the journey I believe I must first walk before I can change is the journey I create for myself, even when that journey is based on a belief and not what is real, as here in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ENJOY some parts of the mind too much to give up that I would rather create a massive process and journey for myself that includes suffering and pain and hardship, just to not give up the mind, my thoughts, my feelings and emotions, and habits and patterns that I have laid down to control and manipulate my reality and control my reality within self-interest and thus not give that up but rather blame life as being hard and that I will someday maybe change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on future change outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up my breath for indulging in the mind consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forsaken life and to within this blame life for making things so hard on me, yet life is Here as me as I am life I am simply not taking my throne.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it weird to say the word throne that came so naturally to me, where a throne is simply a seat of a kind, and thus I can see that finding that weird in itself shows to what level I have degraded myself from life as a seat to take with and as life as a king, as a throne has become awkward and weird instead of natural and normal, as I have contaminated the word with kind on humans of earth as the mind instead of it as standing as life in oneness and equality as all, as a co-creator.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see myself worthy of GOD, being god, that I am god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by stories and myths and books on what it means to be god and actually stand as god where it is all magical and mysterious and BIG and amazing shit, when in fact I do not know, and thus I can drop all expectation, all projections, all ideas and opinions and simply breathe and be here, be still and know.

I commit myself to focus on breathing and to when and as I go into the mind, a thought, a feeling or emotion, a mood or an experience, to give myself a moment to focus and stabilize as breathe till nothing is moving within me and to move and direct myself from that points, even when there is a little bit of resistance, to push myself and to push through and create myself.