Knowing versus doing - how did Jesus and Bernard do it? my Desteni Process

I am looking at my process and standing by principle, standing as the principle, embodying the principles I stand by and walk as in its totality as who I am, in all ways. 

This has been a process for many years now, and it hasn’t been an easy process at all, this I know, yet I am here. Everyday feels like I am just not yet living my principles absolutely, in totality, like there is still something missing, and I know this one thing is me Breathing effectively and walking my process and the tools absolutely, and not as something to do in pass time. 

Within many years that I have walked my process I have come across many people that stands against what I stand for, that fights, that harass, that taunts, teases and ridicules and even become nasty and spiteful towards me and the group I walk with. 

I still react and take it personal when I pick up someone is being aggressive, spiteful or even plain nasty in demeaning ways towards Desteni and the message, making comments and options based on their ideas, believes and most of all fear. 

This brought me to the question of how the fuck did Jesus do it? 

Let me take what I am looking at to a bit more of a visual point. Sure, Jesus existed in a much different time than we do, but it makes it all more real, more challenging for what he did. 

Today I can sit in front of my PC and I can reach dozens of people with a message, I can do this over and over and reach thousands, in return this message brings feedback, which is resistances and conflicts, and people actually getting it, seeing it and walking with, in Jesus time, he had to actually walk in the streets talking to real people real time, he had to actually face REAL time feedback on a consistent basis, this would be the same things as today people not agreeing, not seeing or being challenged and getting possessed by the new information and wanting to attack and harm for example, today all of this happens online. 

Yet, I find myself being put back and in a sort of a negative state each time someone is going on a killing spree with their words and intentions in relation to the group/Desteni and thus all those that walk with and so me. 

Jesus got crucified for the EXACT same message as what we at Desteni is promoting, only way more practical and real, plus we go beyond the Jesus message and into the history of mankind, which involves aliens and dimensional beings and Desteni having a Portal, talking about the afterlife, animal communication and I mean explaining a LOT in details, so that we can understand creation, ourselves and eventually walk as creators = as Jesus did, and within this we present tools, re-education and support within all of this. Nothing is going to be spoon fed or remotely being forced onto anyone, it is as the bible says, those with ears here, those with eyes see, simple and direct. 

Now, back to my point – I get what is different and standing out with Desteni from most of what “normal” people are used to, and then I also get that at the basis of everything it is the principle, the process, the message that matters, which brings us back to that of Jesus. 

Love thy neighbour as thy self

Give as you would like to receive

Do onto another as you would like to be done onto

Manifesting those as ourselves first and foremost and then economically setting the world up where those principles are the guidelines of society to always live what is best for all LIFE. 

Let’s go to a more recent example of the message, which is Bernard Poolman, and take a look at what society has done to him in terms of image and likeness, what he spoke and what he brought forward was taken and turned into all kinds of shit, personal attacks by newspapers and by many online trolls were demeaning and belittling, just like Jesus. 

Ok, so Jesus was abused even further and made into a religion, so yes that’s even worse, I mean it goes against EVERYTHING Jesus stood for and said and lived as an example, it is the ultimate way of killing a message, by creating a god and religion out of the message that is that of equality for all, to create heaven on earth, and now it is out of reach for all and lived in imaginary worlds as some place after death with some god like figure waiting for people, which isn’t what Jesus stood for or said. 

I see and realize that Jesus stood as a Principle absolutely, he stood steadfast in reality, in facts, in what is best for all, and he thus did not take anything personal, nothing was personal, because he did not stand as something personal, he stood as LIFE, and thus whatever came his way as “attacks” as the actions or words of others had no place to find comfort and rest, as the personal didn’t exist, Life existed and thus there is only space and place for life. 

How did Jesus get to this point? How did Bernard get to this Point? And why am I not at this point yet? Do I have to first face each and every point of “personal” within me to understand them and to know them as myself, as it is said, know thy self, now I know there are two selves, me as personality and me as Life (yes both are me, all is who I am, yet in the knowing I must stand and live what is best for all and bring that forth, so should I know me as personality in all ways to then know me as Life? 

I have the tools, I have the way, I know this, yet knowledge without application is useless, so here is my self-honesty after writing out all of this, everything I just wrote is a justification, it is stalling, it is postponing, it is me apparently doing something, when I know in fact the moment I react, the moment I take something personal, the moment I am in a state that isn’t me as breath as LIFE, I must write in self-forgiveness instead of pondering on the point, instead of taking the point personal and holding onto it, I know, yet I do not apply.

So here I answer myself, how did Jesus and Bernard do it? They applied what they knew and did not postpone, they did not stall or wait, and they acted and applied the knowing as themselves and thus as living examples.

What does Christmas mean to me as a Destonian - Day 545

To most people in the world Christmas is a day or a couple of days of celebrating the Birth of Jesus, or just for Santa Clause, or just for festive seasons, where families come together and they present presents to one another to open up and feel blessed – months before Christmas, all the people in the world with money went out and spend a lot of their money on these presents, and decorations and so much more to express themselves and how blessed they feel, or are, towards the people in their lives, but of course in the name of Jesus, or Santa Clause or just for a Because reason.

So Christmas to most people in the world is a fantastic time, it offers some time off from the system, the system that we are enslaved to, where our money is always tight, or we have money but no time to spend it, and of course it offers time to have fun, to be with our families and to just have what we actually desire the world to be, a fun place, because fun is kind of deprived from everything else from the rest of the year, people take this advantage to just let it all out, to go wild, to go nuts, to indulge in the festive seasons and to enjoy being distracted from the system that is keeping us so tight all the time.

We can say that Christmas and the participation in the whole Christmas thing and how people take it on and participate within it is evidence that most of humanity do not really enjoy the current system we are all accepting and allowing to live in, because of the extreme way that people participate within it – but that is the whole point of events like Christmas as designed by the system, to give people that release of all the stress and anxiety and fears and everything that the system is a cause and effect of, so that the people can continue next year, the following year the same way as before and just keep it going.

So Christmas isn’t Bad or Good from a Destonians stance, as a Destonian we make sure we do not create any illusions about the event and to be controlled and enslaved by such events to just continue the following year the same way, to just remain in the illusion that there is apparently “good” in life just because, look Christmas is ahead, or Easter, or Halloween, to not justify LIFE as it is here in fact, in the day to day living of life within all walks of life, which is mostly bad all the time, such as poverty does not end due to Christmas, nor war or famine, or droughts and environmental disasters caused by the humans industrial systems that isn’t in harmony with life as nature and the animals.

Because in the current system as it exist, even Destonians are still here and part of this world till we have multiplied and changed things, we take part in Christmas from a practical perspective, it is time off, it is time to have with the kids and family and to have a few days to slow down and reevaluate and to realign directions and priorities, and to perhaps speak with family members about the state of the world and getting some common sense and common ground between one another. We see Christmas within what is here currently as the world as an opportunity to drive and stand and do what is best for all life, to not fall for the “illusions” of everything is okay, and happy, and that it is going to be this way forever, but instead to strengthen the physical relationships and bring them all back to reality through coming together, through talking, to sharing and so on.

As Destonians we change Who we are within it all, and thus who we are determines what we do, standing in others shoes, caring and sharing the real things, because if Christmas was all about Jesus as it started out as in the beginning, then we can all ask what would Jesus have done? He would definitely not have celebrated his own birth, he would have condemned us all for even living in a capitalist system, never mind allowing children to die of starvation, Jesus would have probably grabbed a whip and beat the shit out of everyone and throw tables over and smite us down. I mean just look at the whole Santa Clause symbolism in the words that was created for Christmas, it is Satan Claws, to obvious. The opposite of what Jesus would have done, Satan’s got his claws in us all, trapping us from actually living as Jesus did, indulging in capitalism in Jesus name, how sick is that, it is dishonoring Jesus and his message and what he lived. Destonians will not do this because that is still also just form an assumption, plus we do not live in the same time as what Jesus lived, but do onto another as you would like to be done onto refers to the world as a whole, love thy neighbor as thy self refers to the world, give as you would like to receive refers to the world, we have taken it to only our own families, Jesus said to follow him you must leave your family behind, as that is the only way, now not literally, but inside yourself the world MUST be your family in fact.

So Christmas to me as a Destonian does not “mean” anything in terms of a feeling/emotions or self-definition, or about some religion or buying presents and spending money, or a release, or to escape the system, it is a day of the year, or a season/holiday that by the system has been placed as “not having to work” and thus you have off time, and we use this off time to practically and physically participate in our reality, because we realize not everyone is a Destonian Yet, most people around us is still in the system and of the system and thus we must walk one and equal with what is here, but who we are within it all is where the change starts, we can enjoy this time, we will have fun in this time, because it is so nice when humans do come together and actually interact and learn and share one another, which does not and cannot be possible in a system that drives us to only die after only surviving and keeping us far apart from each other.

Over all, Christmas is Bullshit, and we must create a world that is Best for all, and thus a Christmas will not be necessary, as giving as you would like to receive will be a consistent way of life, every day will be a present, everyone will be your family, love and care will be visible in our daily living as a whole.

As a side note: Before I stood as a Destonian, me and my family gave up Christmas and haven’t had any Christmas for the past 10 years almost, but instead we all just come together and are together, no presents, no decorations, nothing. And this in itself is and can be fun.

Day 315 - Christmas at eleven Part 3

Day 313 - Christmas at eleven Part 1

Day 314 – Christmas at eleven Part 2


I commit myself to when and as I am expecting something to not create mind expectations that are based on energy experiences such as a positive or negative experience, but to only expect with the fact that something is coming for me.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I have created expectations about something to stop and to breathe and to remain HERE within and as breathe.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am creating expectation about a present or a gift that I am about to receive to stop and to breathe and to realize that it is a gift and thus it is a present and not supposed to be known and thus all and any mind Ideas I have created about the gift is invalid as it is in contradiction to what a gift is, to not know what it is.

I commit myself to when and as I do want something as a gift and I do have to opportunity to ask for what gift I may have to make myself clear within what I want to the other person within actually exchanging words and to have confirmation on that it is understood.

I commit myself to when and as I want a specific something and the opportunity is here for someone to Gift me with that something to be clear on what I want and WHY I want it so that there cannot be any mind interpretations on what they believe or might think I want in terms of how much the gift cost or so on.

I commit myself to be clear to others on what I want and why I want it even if it may look cheap, so that it can be clear that I do not want money value as a gift but actual purpose value that I will practically use and need.

I commit myself to when and as I see that i am or have not been clear to stop and to breathe and to not go into Hope, Hoping that the other person might get what I want and to then create all the inner mind projections of what hope I might get and to then get excited about it, seeing and realizing that the excitement is energy transmitted from fear to seem positive, seeing and realizing that the fear is created from the “knowing” that it wants communicated effectively and thus hope is fear, to Bring myself back through focusing on my physical reality here to not participate within the mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I get angry/mad/outraged about a present/gift not being what I wanted to stop and to breathe and to see where I haven’t been clear and How I in fact created the anger/madness/outrage within me through my own actions, through and as participating within alternative realities within my mind that isn’t based on facts even but hope and excitement and dreaming and imagination and how the reality check then becomes to cruel to handle and thus my bubble gets burst and so I actually in that moment am facing me and being angry/outraged/mad at myself fro giving into the delusions/illusions of the mind and that I never in fact checked or made clear what I wanted and thus I know in that moment that I could not and cant blame anyone but myself and thus take self responsibility through correcting myself where I see I gave space for the mind to take me over.

Day 314 – Christmas at eleven Part 2

Day 313 - Christmas at eleven Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was clear with my mother what I wanted for Christmas, seeing and realizing that it was an assumption as there was no Yes or No on if she was clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume I am clear on a point without even having a confirmation on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume instead of making 1000% sure that it is so in fact or not through asking directly to get a direct confirmation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited from the perspective or assuming that I was getting what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get excited from assumptions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that being excited from an assumption is a recipe for disaster and the creation of the opposite of excitement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume the position of excitement within the interpretation of believing that my mother knew what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I might have shown my mother what I wanted but that to her it could have been interpreted as many other things in the same section that I wanted and not just that specific thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a toy from the mind as an Idea that I have created about the toy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the toy that I wanted more within my mind then what it is in reality, making/creating a desire for the toy as a energy experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a energy experience to the toy I wanted, instead of breathing and seeing and realizing that the toy isn’t a energy experience about a practical thing I can play with physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire a toy according to how I have already played with it in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch Spider man on TV and then to go to the mall and look at the Spider-man toy and while watching the toy I play scenes out from the story on TV and thus making it way awesome then what it will be in reality where I run with the toy spinning him through the air and he can’t really do much more then what I can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to life in an alternate reality as the Mind and to create myself and what I like and Dislike within my mind within this alternate reality and to then when and as reality hits me and it isn’t what I like, to then feel like crying and like breaking things and becoming a destroyer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel betrayed by reality when I got the wrong present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I betrayed myself through participating in a alternative reality as my imagination with the toy I desired without even really knowing for sure if I was getting it an then when i got the toy to be all outraged and full of sadness and anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my mother for not knowing what I wanted for sure and getting it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel like my Mother was a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I wasn’t allowed to express myself when it wasn’t the toy I wanted because the toy cost more than the original one I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Money on that day to how good a present must be, that what I wanted did not matter in terms of what Money tells me about a toy, the cheaper the worse, the more expensive the batter, even if the more expensive one is a really STUPID toy and can go burn in hell for all I care.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the more money my mother spend on me the more it meant she cared for me, and thus I wasn’t allowed to express my sadness otherwise I would have proved her wrong and make her feel bad for spending more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Connect how much a present costs as how much value the present must have in happiness and to over write the actual want for the toy which was practical in terms of me having to play with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress how I feel just because I fear bursting someone else’s bubble of happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as i got angry/outraged/sad to suppress it all within me as I did not know what was happening to me, what I was experiencing and to then go in secret and express it as being abusive, such as kicking and throwing the toy that I did not want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sit down with my mother and express to her what I was experiencing so that it could be explained to me and so that I could understand, and so that the miss communication between us could have been resolved and it could have been made clear that It wasn’t the money value of toys that I wanted but the actual purpose of the toys that mattered to me.

To be continued.

Day 313 - Christmas at eleven Part 1

I am eleven years old, it is Christmas time, we are all getting presents, I believe I made it clear to my mother what Toy I wanted, she knew what I wanted, and it wasn't that expensive.

I was very excited to get my present, we were all around the tree in the lounge. My mother wanted us to wait till nighttime came, but we could not, we kept on asking and asking to open our presents, she eventually gave in and said okay, so we all gathered closer and we took our presents one by one to open.

I got my first present and it wasn't something that awesome, then the next person and so on, then it was my urn again, it was the present from my mother, I was already FULL of expectations. With the deep desire and craving fro that toy I wanted, I took off the paper from the present, it wasn't what I wanted.

I wanted a spider-man toy that could move his arms and legs and all the cool stuff that makes it more real when I play with it, and it cost like fifty rand, my mother got me a Spider-man toy. This was a Spider-man sitting in a car, cant take him our or anything, and you can put the spider man in the car into this launcher and then push a button and it shoots the car out to drive a few meters, this present cost about three hundred rands.

I felt like crying, but I could not, I saw the Joy and happiness on my mothers smile from giving her children presents, and I could not express myself in that moment as being extremely angry, I held it all in and I created a massive resentment towards my mother, all in that instant moment.

I kept on smiling and pretending to enjoy the toy, taking it and putting it in and letting it be launched. The more I did this the more I got angry and angry, I started behaving in a spiteful manner, I hated myself for hating the toy and my mother, I started blaming the toy.

After everyone got their toys I tried switching toys with my smaller brother, selling it to him why he would like it, I don't remember what he got but it was better then mine in that moment.

He did not want it, but I let him play with it, secretly trying to make him like it, so that I can switch toys in the end, it never happened because he got board of it as-well very quickly.

Once I was alone with myself and the toy I wanted to break the FUCKING toy, I wanted to cry with outrage, I did not, I instead Kicked the fucking toy, it isnt what i wanted, and No one fucking listened to me when I showed them what I wanted, but my mother was so happy, I could not sadden her, I also feared making my mother feel like she is a bad mother and that she wasted her money on the toy, she did waist money as I Never after that day touched it again.

Even now as I write this, I experience shame and sadness for who I was and still am, and towards my mother. She meant well and there I was being evil inside of myself, creating this world and feelings/emotions towards here in secret.

I remember I could not stand who i was in that moment, yet I was that in that moment, that evil, that secret world of pure hate/resentment/spitefulness. And it all

Self Forgiveness next.