Day 440 - Waiting till the last minute Part 1
I forgive myself that I have
accepted and allowed myself to wait till the last minute to arrange meetings with people.
When and as I see myself going into the pattern of
waiting till “later as the last minute, I stop, I
breathe, I consider what’s
here and my action, to see if they are within consideration of the moment or that of
energy as
ego, and to
assess my actions and the
consequences of them, to from this point re-evaluate my
decision and take a different path, the path of correction and apply myself within what’s best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait up until the last minute to re-arrange meetings or appointments with people.
When and as I see myself waiting and waiting to make a phone call to someone where I have to re-arrange a meeting or an appointment, I stop, I
breathe, I realize that I am in a pattern again, where I am now
thinking the whole
time instead of doing, and that doing it easier and takes much less
energy and
time then
thinking about re-arranging things with other people, and thus I move myself to use my
energy productively and get the points out of my head.
I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to wait till the last minute to call people or to notify people about
changes in plans.
I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to compromise myself and others, though NOT considering both
ends equally and one, within the arrangements, or appointments that has been made, and when they are
being changed, and to within this, create a constant
anxiety within me, in relation to what I
know I should have been doing, Yet I postponed till the last minute.
When and as I see that I am in the pattern of
waiting up until the last minute to call people to re-arrange meetings or schedules, even if something
unpredictable happened, I stop, I breathe, I do not wait till the last minute to notify the others, I pick up my phone or use any form of
communication I have to
contact the other person, as I see and realize that this is me actually considering both ends, as I would have liked for myself, thus
seeing and realizing that when I do onto another as I would have liked to be done onto, I do not create
anxiety/
stress for myself, but instead I build my
self-respect and
honor.
I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to postpone notifying others about appointment or meetings that has to be
changed, In the
fear, that if I notify them, that they will
react, or
take it personally, or that I will be questioned about why, and using not knowing how to explain myself to them, and my situation as an excuse, I then instead go into
resistance of doing it now, and thus postpone it till the last minute, when I have no
choice but to go there.
When and as I see myself creating
fear towards having to call people to re-arrange meetings or appointment and using the “justifications” and “excuses” of that
here might be
reactions or they might take it personally, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that this is
my fear and not the
reality of what is here and what might happen or not, and that I am only creating these fears to postpone and not take full self-responsibility for my actions/
words, and thus I now instead direct myself to focus on what here and not my fear, and to move accordingly within the practical steps that’s required in the moment to bring about correction and considering everyone else instead of my fear.
When and as I see myself having to call someone or notify someone, or inform someone about appointments/meetings that has to be re-arranged/scheduled, and I am postponing using my fear of them questioning my actions of why, and that I will not be able to explain to them the situation, I stop, I breathe, I instead focus on getting my story in line, preparing myself to tell the other person whats needed to be
heard, instead of focussing on “I do not KNOW” as a way of keeping myself in my pattern deliberately just to protect myself and my comfort zone
I forgive myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself, to NOT see and realize, that this is a point of
choice, where I still believe that I have a
choice, and to within this always postpone till the last minute, where there isn’t any
choice anymore, when in fact, all that is being shown to me is that there never was any choice, I simply deluded myself, and to within this delusion of choice
give away my authority, my power, within
moving myself to do what needs to be done, and to then create dishonesty within me, where I then
live within dishonesty, and thus create
consequences of fear/
anxiety and
stress that then becomes my
prison, where I am trapped within the
experience of myself as it all being real, and to within this always repeat the pattern, never learning or
changing for the best, to be my perfect self.
When and as I see myself going into the Illusion of choice in relation to
changing schedules/arrangements with other people, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that I am postponing because I a creating reasons/justification within my
mind that seems valid and real for why I am postponing, when in fact it’s just me deluding myself within the point, because the inevitable is that I have to do it, there is no other way, and thus I take a Breathe and I push myself to work with what’s here and not in my head.
When and as I see myself participating within the construct of choice, I stop, I breathe, I check for myself if there really is choice, and to
self honestly look at what it is I am crating choice towards and why, whats the reason, whats the
purpose behind it, why do I want choice, even when there isn’t any choice, because the facts stand, it's isn't es-capable, and to within this self-instigation in the moment follow the common sense and not the pattern, the trap of the usual, where make things difficult for myself, instead I make it simplistic for myself.
