Fear of Loss - Lose the Fear

 

All I have is Breath.

 

 

 

Interview from EQAFE on The Design of Fear of Loss HERE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of loss.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is possible to lose something.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of the system taking what I have away from me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe it is possible to own something as MINE. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from reality as life as what is here and to within this attempt to possess things and thus where they end up possessing me with the fear of loss of separation. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the future as FEAR of what I can lose or not lose as my decision.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose what I have as the current life setup that I have.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of possibly losing the nature and animals and the community I live within. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of the future and what could happen or not happen and whatever happens, will determine hat I lose, and thus live in the fear of what I can lose. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose the LIFE I have currently and to not have a possible future that will put me in a similar position that I am within now be live and do what I do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear of loss and what I can lose if the future does not look to good or bright within my life in terms of finances.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in separation of what is here as a whole for all life in any given moment and to thus not stand one and equal as a solution within changing who I am as life as any and all possible situations and to walk what is best for all. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose the community/farm I live on currently and thus all and any projects and plans I have that could have had potential to help many.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go to the point of fear of loss and what it might mean if the point of loss manifests and that it means that is the end, and thus already placing myself in a position of disempowerment as the limitations of the mind, instead of seeing who I am within the lowest point not just within myself but also physically and how I will stand up and direct myself to push to create and manifest what is within me again, as it is in my name GIAN/Again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear of what if, what could have been, instead of what is here, direct and act, live. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose my position within this world as an empowered position as one of the people that have money, while billions have nothing, and thus living in fear of having to live what others are living, and thus revealing my dishonesty as what I am still accepting and allowing within this world for others but I am not willing to walk that path with them one and equal. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can lose anything as long as I have myself, and thus I see and realize that YES I can lose a position, Yet I am still here, I can still breathe and direct and express me. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the fear of loss within me and what is it showing me as a gift of where I have still separated myself, and where I have created a point of dependency, not standing as who I am within me in all ways one and equal as all life in each and every breath, and thus fear losing what I have defined myself accordingly with. 

 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that fear of loss that is here is showing me that I still fear and this not living here but in a near future that is still a projection of when I believe I will live and be ready and thus Fear losing what is here that is making up for me not standing, like crutches, my home, my money, my family, my environment, and thus I only act and live when it is necessary to prevent the loss from manifesting, instead of acting out of pure will as standing as what is best for all and not out of fear to only prevent the fear of loss to manifest and thus create exactly that fear, to manifest that loss, as I am only standing one and equal to what I fear losing instead of what I am capable of here creating in all breath without fear. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I might have to live if I lose what I have. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually having to live the word suffering compared to me living stress.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word stressed as if it can be compared to living to suffer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to live to have to beg for food or dig through dustbins to find a meal. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to have to sleep on the streets where I am open to all sorts of abuse. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to die on the streets never having used what I had to change this world for all where such possibilities aren't possible for anyone. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I will or might experience myself within losing everything I had and to thus LOSE myself as I define myself to what I had and then to also define myself according to what will happen me on the streets and to change in ways I never thought possible as FEAR. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to become and living my fears.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Feel powerless within my fear manifesting and that I must slowly prepare myself for it already and so already give up and already manifest the outcome. Instead of stopping the fear, dropping any fear of loss, forgiving the pre-programmed fears through realizing them for what they are and to actually dare to live without fear through seeing and understanding that since I am already willing to manifest my fear through my actions and thus live it, what do I have to lose through fully and completely living without fear and to stand up and change in fact to live without fear as I am already prepared to live my fear, I can not lose anything but the fear and Breathe and thus LIVE as what is best for all life, standing as a voice for life, standing as that point of self-honesty.

Day 535 – Money has defined me, being self-honest

What has been seen as one of the major factors in my life as a limitation, I would say money? All my life I have had only a lack of money, never abundance, and I do believe that most people in this world has this physical limitation. 

To start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my environment determines MY limitations and what I can do or not do, seeing and realizing that Who I am within my environment determines my limitation or my expansion.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the only real limitations that exist is actual physical limitations, such as not having a car to drive somewhere, or not having certain resources available within my environment, but that WHO I AM within the environment can decide to move myself beyond perceived limitations that are of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse real limitations and mind limitations as one and the same thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other within my environment for the perceived limitations that I am experiencing due to how I interact or experience myself around others, seeing and realizing that this is an experience within ME that is limiting ME and my expression and not about the other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that limitation of and as the mind as blame/judgements and abdicating self-responsibility for my actions that enforce limitation can be changed and through simply changing my mind and who I am within a moment of slowing down and physically assessing and checking what is here and that needs to be done.
Money Point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect who I am as an expression of myself to the amount of money I have or do not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to go into a state of mind of retraction within my expression when and as there is little money available within my reality to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only expand and express myself if there is a lot of money within my reality/environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an expression of insecurity within myself and within my reality if there is little money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to explode and express myself fully only if there is a certain amount of money within my reality that makes me feel secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on money in terms of my expression as who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep to myself and to pull myself into myself and hide my expression when and as I am in fear of survival due to how “little” money I have, seeing and realizing that money does in fact play a role in how I can move myself within my reality and my well-being, yet who I am as an expression is independent of money if I have it or not.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I change within who I am dependant on how much money I have or do not have, and within allowing myself to admit this point within me I can see what who I am is still of the mind as a preprogramed personality design that is dependent on an outside force to define me/who I am.

Who will I be if I am starving and will die of starvation?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who I will be if I had to live in a state of starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny and be ignorant to look at reality and what is here and till what extend MONEY has defined who I am, taking it to the extreme of removing money from my life and seeing the physical consequences that I will face within such a position and who I will be within such a situation, to face myself within self-honesty and to stand within such a position within oneness and equality within MYSELF, not physically going out and experiencing this, as that is unnecessary at this stage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I had to starve on the streets as many others do in this world, that who I am at this moment will change and thus confirming that I have not yet taken full self-responsibility for myself as this reality and who I am as part of the creation of this reality where money decides everything, from who eats to who can express themselves and who can’t, and thus IF I do not stand within self-honesty, where I see I have money and I have the time and I have the resources to take a stand within this reality to bring actual change within this reality then I will most probably have to face the consequences one and equal to what I stand as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it for granted the money and position I have currently within this reality whereas billions of others DO not in fact have the same as me to do the same as me and to take a stand to change this reality, and IF I abuse this position to NOT stand then LIFE as me by my permission as my actions will place me in the position to see and realize all others parts of me and what I have accepted and allowed for all the others parts of me to exist one and equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that Money buys Time literally, and as long as I have the time I have the money to do something this life TIME to stand up for all the others parts of me that exist in this reality within inequality and suffering, that do not have the time and thus the money to do anything, thus as a body, I must take the position/responsibility as the immune system, where I focus all my time/energy/money to heal the parts of me that is suffering, or the whole body will collapse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LET fear in the name of not having enough or not having a lot of money decide my actions within what is HERE as my current reality where I can within self-honesty see that I am in a position to walk within breathe and to take a stand in each and every moment as long as I am breathing within the position I have and to not fall for the Idea of the future and what MIGHT be or not, and to realize me here and that each breath counts and who I am within each and every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the trap of the MIND where the mind wants to be more than reality and NOT do what is necessary to live in this world, which is making money and working certain hours to do so, and making that Burden a MIND limitation where one acts and lives the MIND limitation of the physical limitation that has been placed onto self by a fucked up system, instead of seeing and realizing that one has a Job or work that is more than what billions of others can say, thus one has money and TIME do something to bring change to this world, as money speaks Louder than words in a world where screaming has been ignored and denied for as long as this has been going on, and we can make our expressions independent of the system that is a JOB for money from 9 to 5, our expressions does NOT have to be limited as the system is, our expressions is what will bring change, and we cannot fall for the MIND limitations that we make ourselves belief of being victims of a system we are part of and have created and entertained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money a factor in my expression, instead of using money to my advantage to bring change to this world, to take authority where it is least expected and to stand up and make the choice, take a leap of faith, what are we waiting for? For the system to magically change and support us to change this world? It’s not going to happen.

We must take authority and reach for the top even when we are placed at the bottom of a slave system. This is where we stop the slave preprogramed system of money and the effects it has on us. To move beyond it.

Day 463 – My personal Survival mode

continuing from Day 462 survival mode and money

When I am living each day from the morning to the night, I am living to survive. It is how the system is designed. We all need to survive, so I am doing what needs to be done practically each day to make sure I am making money. Money is with what we trade and how much money I have depends on what I can have. Money decides everything in the material world currently.

The matter of facts is that we live in a material world. Without the materials we can’t do or make anything that is of basic needs, the earth is one big ball of materials and it can be made, shapes and molded to all kinds of different forms, some materials we don’t need to change but simply collect.

I as an individual requires some of these materials like all other people, animals or plants, and for me to have it I need money.

So currently survival isn’t optional, I have to survive. BUT who I am within surviving is the one thing that I can change.

Because I can look at survival as a practical application within the system that is here, it is a simple equation that I can apply on a daily basis, there does not have to be any experience attached to me surviving, or any thoughts or emotions or any feelings towards it.

But instead there can be me deciding who I am going to be within applying myself on a daily basis to ensure my survival and to within this not make/create survival as a mind possession of self-interest, but a simple practical equation.

Who have I been within this survival mode within this system designed to force modern man into living in a modern time with a cave man mentality.

I have been fearful, I have been tired, I have been paranoid, I have been anxious, I have been feeling like there is no way out, I have been feeling that there will never be an end, I have been feeling that I am stuck in one cycle over and over, I have been feeling that this is how my life will be forever no matter how much I push and try and change my circumstances, I have been feeling that the system just isn’t big enough for me to push and go beyond where I am within the system currently, I have been feeling that the system is falling and thus there is no point in me pushing the system, I have been feeling that by the time I succeed the system will collapse and all my effort is for nothing, I have been feeling like there is no place for me in the higher places in the system and that it is full, I have been feeling that money is limited and thus no way for me to make money, I have been feeling fragile in the system fighting every day to make that money, I have been negative towards myself within the money system, I have been anxious towards myself working in the money system, I have been giving up on myself ever reaching that goal that I have set and that I have been applying the equal pressure to reach it, yet it just never comes, I have been not believing in myself, I have been not believing in the system, I have been doubting money itself, I have been feeling stagnant within myself and within the system in terms of money movement as if I just cannot move money, I have been hating money, I have been hating people with money, I have been placing myself outside the rich people scope, I have been seeing myself less than successful people, I have Not been moving as breath as I fear time isn’t enough, I have been fearing running out of time as it feels like money is running out of my country, I have been feeling that I must have one point of success at least by now with all that I have done, I have been feeling that the whole system is against me and me making some of the money within it, I have been feeling that maybe there is someone deliberately pushing me out of the system and reaching the money that is here,

And that someone lives in my head, ME

To be continued.

Day 463 – Survival mode and money

continuing from: Day 462 – Survival mode and money

Money can only be available to us if we have access to money; to have access to money we need a Job. So now one might have a job and the access to money but the amount of money is what matters now.

See a man without money knows where he stands, he has found himself a place in the system where he is now surviving, it is a horrible life, maybe one can never get used to it, but I will assume from my personal experience and research that most of jobless and homeless people get used to the way of their life. There is a norm within it all for them, things they do every day to survive. They simply have given up and they only live for the next meal.

Then we have people with some money, just a little bit. This amount of money is enough to get food for half of the month and the other half is a struggle, it is horrible. But over time like all things, they got used to it and are surviving within it, within the circumstances they are in, they will always just stay in this state and see no way out ever, because there usually isn’t a way out at all, it’s in the design of the system.

Then we have people with just enough to meet all basic needs on a monthly basis, in other words they are making it, they have a life, there isn’t any starving or bad struggles, but it is still horrible, because these type of families are just making it, it is what we define as making it in the system, a roof and basic needs just met, so they have the consistent fear of the possibility that they may/can go below this life style.

Then we have people who live nice, they have just more than the basic needs and they can afford some comforts, but they are also in the consistent fear of going below the line of where they are, losing their job is for instance a daily concern.

Then we have the middle class, the middle class have more than basic needs, they can afford cars and bigger houses and they can go into debt and make all kinds of promises and have some vacations, and have more emotional problems at home, which is horrible. And these types of people are also living in consistent fear of what if their life can change at any moment and go below the line of where they are now, so survival can even be stronger in this type of class.

Then we go a bit higher than the middle class, what we are now getting at is the upper class, the upper class are small business owners or highly paid people in GOOD positions, and people that started their own thing and made a success, like a little mini market, they don’t have much issues in life, they have more than enough and can easily do more if they have the desire to, but they are in a type of comfort zone that they fear breaking, so it is horrible, they can actually have a fear of losing a bit of comfort, and thus will never change their live style or do more, it’s how they survive, their fear will not be about going below the line of their current class, but going below a line of class inside the home, it’s horrible.

Then from here on we have the rest, the people I haven’t met yet, I can’t talk about them. I mostly just see them driving from certain neighborhoods with their sexy cars and taking their kids to schools that looks like palaces. I suppose their fear will be the rest of the world and staying rich keeps them in a nice bubble away from everyone else.

These classes are from what I have seen and interacted with and still do daily through my work.
So now looking at myself, seeing where am I, and why do I live in Fear and within a survival mode, what is this doing to me, or rather me to myself and what am I keeping myself from doing and achieving through being stuck in this survival mode, what is the consequences of living this way on my individual level/life. Can this show me what my future already looks like if I am living this way?
Stay tuned, to be continued.