You will not wish to hurt or destroy or kill - Desteni Process

 

“You will not wish to hurt or destroy or kill, for the creatures are your creations; they are your sons, your brothers, and you will love them as I do.”

Quote from: Translation of Tablet found in Gobi Desert

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for destruction, for killing and murder within this world, where by the fact that it exists and that I am not doing anything to stop anything of it, I am thus in the wish of it, and that reveals my self-interest as I wish this upon others and yet wish in return that I am not harmed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for others human being to die which I deem as not worthy of life or forgiveness due to acts they have done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that those that are in power positions within this world would die so that life on earth can have a chance, Thus within this wish I am a killer myself, harming as they do and thus guilty as those I judge. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbour wishes within me of death to others within this world that I have judged within my mind, within my secret self as being abusers, and yet I deem myself not an abuser even when I have these wishful thoughts of murder. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if certain people die within this world that the world will be a better place, and so I wish for death, killing and destruction within this world, as the practical implication of my wish means riots, striking, and thus group mentality where people rise up in anger and become violent and thus harm, kill, murder and destroy. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for others to die or be killed within the self-interest of that if they are killed before I am then I am save. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BELIEVE that killing, murder and destruction of other beings on this planet is normal, that it is just something that happens and takes place due to human nature, and so within this accept and allow human nature to continue without change within this believe, yet I am able to acknowledge my nature and thus I am able to change my nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that when and as I have thoughts, pictures and thinking occurring in my head for a moment of killing, destruction and murder or harm that it is innocent and that it has now effect on this reality, yet this reality is a direct reflection of who I am and what I accept and allow within me and thus I must be able to see that MY wish is MY command, even when I am not doing the things I have going on in my mind, LIFE is HERE and hearing and I am god, and Life as me is making my wishes come true, and thus I must stop, breath and forgive myself, to rebirth myself as LIFE as what is best for all life as myself so that I as life rather create what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Separate myself from the creatures that are here from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the creatures as all life forms that are here as separate from me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to even consider that what is here is MY creation and that me wishing to harm, kill or destroy what is here in any way what so ever is me seeking to destroy, harm and kill myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see what is here as MINE as life as all as one and equal in fact and that what is here on earth is MINE equal as it is everyone’s and everything’s as we are one and equal in fact and thus all equally responsible as GOD as LIFE as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realize that creation as what is here is all mine, I am it and it is me in fact, that I am god as all and everyone is god, and thus what is here is me and not separate from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation is possible, yet only in the mind is it possible, and thus easy to harm and kill and destroy what is here as I am not HERE as all that is here and thus not seeing and realizing that I am only harming myself, killing myself, destroying myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see what is here as me in fact and within doing so I am able to abuse and misuse what is here within the justifications and reasoning of the mind of separation and fear.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize to LOVE all that is here is within my actions, my living and that to love all that is here is to love myself, that there is no separation and how I care for myself is thus how I care for all life one and equal in the living, in the flesh, and that no matter what is done or said, that I stand clear, that I do not stand in separation of those harming, destroying or killing, but that they are ME in fact and that I must help them as I would help myself in fact.

Day 567 - Words and Who I Am

 Who am I? When I ask this short and simple question it feels like the universe is opening up to me, I see that within the question of Who am I, I am attempting to place myself in a box, through a short description, Perhaps I must take in the Universe and see who am I in reverse to this question.

Instead of Placing myself as who I am in a short description, I can rather expend myself as who I am as all that is HERE. 

I have seen and realized that in each Breath, each moment, That I am in those breathes and moments each time living a different word, not by choice, it is as if it is happening to me, a mood will come over me and I am living the word mood, or anger, or sadness, or happiness.

There are so many words that I am living and yet not aware of them, these words describe who I am in each moment. The problem I am seeing is how I am not the directive principle of who I am in each moment/breath. 

I have been practicing and implementing a new way of defining myself in each moment/breathe - instead of me living and accepting and allowing certain unknown words to come to me and for me to live them, I take a word instead, and I embrace that new word in each moment, a word that I would like to live, a word that I see will support and assist me to become my utmost potential, to become living words. 

This is not to create a polarity, such as when I am sad, to now embrace and live the word Happiness, NO! I take a word that is a correction, looking at why did sadness just come over me, perhaps I need to embrace the word Alone, to be alone, to stand alone, to be okay with being alone, as the word alone within it can be ALL as ONE - so alone isn't really being alone, it is to be here with ALL life as One, redefined to become a living understanding and to embrace ME - because I may have been sad due to being hurt by someone else, which showed me that I was reliant on others to bring me happiness, and thus not satisfied with myself, perhaps I have never really looked at myself and said, hey let me be alone for a while and focus on myself to be satisfied with myself, let me first embrace me.

So, Who am I? I am the words that I live in each moment/breath - I can either choose the words, understand the words, live the words and direct and decide my own live, or I can just sit and let any and all words influence me, being a victim to life, as words create our Wor(l)d.

Day 564 – I don’t want to take the time to be Specific

All my life I enjoyed just opening up my mouth and speak, I loved not having to consider things in time and then speak about it. I enjoyed this because It asked little to not effort from me. Man did I hate making effort to be specific. It did not matter if it was school work, if it was doing sport, if it was talking to people on subjects. Me shooting out words, or styles of doing things that required no effort, no time to sit and actually figure things out, see things differently, to come to a common understanding within points or how to do things which can be transferred to others in specificity.
Ever since I started my Process I have struggled to be specific within any of my writings, even though I see the points clearly, putting it on writing or explaining it to someone else has been such a struggle and it always feel like I am just missing the point. This obviously has to do with my level of vocabulary and my school years of development. But that’s no longer an excuse, and yet I find this pattern that I have lived for so long to still creep in to most of what I want to express myself within.

So ones again I am facing myself as my patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist having to give/spend my time on becoming and being specific within everything I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am busy with something new to only take in the Idea/concept and to within that run with what I make of it, not giving myself the time and space to actually sit down or go run or jump or whatever is required of me to really get specific and to really test out the concept/idea till I can live/express it within specificity to be able to give over what I have learned and seen to others equally.

I forgive myself that I haven’t seen and realized that me not specifying myself is me making myself special within my mind as I have develop an unspecified character that I cannot explain or give over to others in words or skills, as a way of remaining within self-interest and unique.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain nonspecific without ever questions myself why or how I have come to create myself that way and to keep on living within such a character and placing a feeling of enjoyment within being such a character, seeing and realizing that this is me abdicating self-responsibility and my responsibility to the c=greater good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to be specific within myself and what I do, how I create myself is as long and boring unnecessary process and that I can just keep winging it till I get it, seeing and realizing that this is the mind sabotaging me from stopping the mind having control and authority over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR losing the comfort of my current character that is nonspecific through actually focusing on myself in each breathe as how I am creating myself and who I am within each moment within living the principles of Desteni and to actually make it a mathematical equation that I can show/teach and give to others to do/live the same.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is impossible for me to be specific.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing within developing myself to be specific and to within this lose a lot of time that could have been spend me just winging things and getting the same results as failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself up for failure within myself within my definition of myself as what I have accepted and allowed as the mind for so long and to project that within the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the challenges that I might and will face on my way within specifying myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself within my journey of specifying myself and that I can do it – and that there is help, support and assistance all around me if I ask.

Day 551 - Postponement Continued

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as postponement, within the believe that today isn't the right time, that the right time isn't here, and to within this seeing for the right time, wait till tomorrow, or the day after, and to within this keep on postponing in the hope for the right time to show up, the right moment.

Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone doing a blog just because it is already a certain time of the day, to late or to early and to within this tell myself that tomorrow I will do two blogs to make up for this, and when tomorrow comes, the same pattern occurs, the same thought, the same reasons.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone doing vlogs, that I have been jurning to do, waiting for the right time, the right atmosphere, the right light, and to within this make my actions, my participation dependent on the environment and hoping that the environment will magically just fit in with my schedule in my mind, instead of actually scheduling and making the right time, creating the environment through communication, through planning to do the vlogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use justifications/reasons within my life to why I am postponing certain changes, changes within myself, within the believe that I am not ready yet, I cannot do this yet, I am not capable yet, I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I do not deserve this change, mostly the time isn't right, the moment isn't right, I might as well remain the same for just today, tomorrow I will change, seeing and realizing that within this point of postponement there exist no such thing as the right time, moment or place, it is all about me making decisions and living those decision, either bets for myself and all or not, and If I continue to postpone I will continue to remain the same - and there will never be a right moment/time, I will never be ready or be perfect to change, it must be done in the moment here and walk it, regardless of what the mind has to say, remain breathing in and as the physical and use the physical as the real cross reference

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am going into the mind regarding doing something that is HERE, like doing a blog/vlog, to stop and to breathe, to rather check my reality, ask around if I can do it or set up reality to do it after considering everything, now, check my schedule, and to then base my decision on what is HERE and not within the mind, I create my options, I make my time, I plan things, instead of throwing rocks in the bush thinking something will come out of it.

I commit myself to when and as I see a moment of change, to speak up, to stand, to direct or to intervene, or to be quite, to Stop and breathe, to check myself physically here and what is here, to not go into the mind as the reasons/excuses/justification for why I should or should not and to instead rely on the physical and to direct and move myself as the physical.

Day 539 - opening up points of fear and regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR letting go of the fears within me that I have used to define me and to thus guide me and control me and keeping me enslaved to patterns and behaviors that I believe is best for me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the consistent fear of not having money and security within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the consistent fear of being all alone in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what others think of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what others might do to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of what this money driven system can do to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of being harmed by other humans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of not having a roof over my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of living the same way as billions of others do in this world, in poverty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of losing what I hold dear through changing or through circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing my time and the time that I have within this world and not using it to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of doing something wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of failing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the fear of being seen and actually being different from society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trusting myself and what that might mean, which is unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the unknown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be trapped in this world system and not be able to change a thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the world coming to an end as an actual desire that I had as a kid, just ending everything, and now seeing this desire was actually a denial of a fear within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear JUST doing what I see I need to do in moments and to push myself beyond my fear in any moment to do what is required to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing things out of fear and to within this do things out of fear anyway.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my fears and deny my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this reality and the cruelty that exist within it, from the system to the human that created it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually take that step to truly change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not knowing what that actual first step is to actually change and to take a stand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself to the service of life absolutely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if the world/my life changes that I will face myself as who I am and what I could have done to bring change to this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that at the end of my life that I will face myself as regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear me facing my self-dishonesty at death as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and live as, as fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself as consequences that isn’t best for all life and that knowing that who I am currently isn’t yet standing as LIFE and thus I know where I must move my ass.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already live in regret and to fear that because of this regret I will not be able to ever actually change anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my past as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and to define myself as and to within this fear that I will just die as a past and not as LIFE that is standing in absolute self-honesty and that I everything in my power to change this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear looking crazy within me expressing myself to bring change to this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying and speaking the common sense and the self-honesty that is required to be spoken to penetrate this reality and to bring change, starting with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will never get rid of my past as a current definition of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the truth about me into the core of who I am and to stand up from that and to see what is HERE for real as LIFE, where nothing is painted in thoughts/emotions/feelings to be something else, and to fear what I might see as OUR creation that is here of abuse and absolute dishonor to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the dishonor that I have existed as and still do to some extent towards LIFE.