Day 583 - We tend to forget when things are “Happy”

Happiness is a disease, it brings ease to us in a world of pain, where we can experience a sense of gain, as if life is moving forward, BUT only for ourselves, yet in this world where the basis of every beings existence is that of suffering, there cannot be any gain, it is only creating Loss, a loss of life, a loss to never be gained back, when an animal goes extinct, that is it, when an innocent child dies of starvation or extreme abuse, that LIFE is lost – no one is gaining, happiness is a disease that people are attempting to affect others with as a feeling, feeling blessed, feeling lucky, feeling like things are getting better. The matter of fact is that what matters as the physical that is designed in oneness where nothing is in fact separate, and thus implies that as long as YOU are happy you are in fact the most negative message on earth as you can be happy while suffering is taking place continuously, your happiness is deceiving others from seeing what is truly here, your happiness is pulling a cloth over the eyes of those that DO have the power (which is MONEY) to do anything about this reality, where your Happiness is LYING to others that they can do what you do, be happy and forget, be happy and join MY happiness, this is better, when the most positive message we can really give each other is reality, the truth of what is HERE within the understanding of oneness as a whole, so that we can POSITIVELY take action to bring about a world of true happiness where all life is Equal and taken care of equally, but this frightens people, to have to face the reality of what is here.

Take a look at yourself – see how others “happiness” that they deceive with in pictures effect you, you suddenly want it for yourself, yet you know, to have that happiness you must FORGET about the truth of Yourself and this world, you must indulge in ignorance and Blissfulness, you must put on a mask and play a character that seemingly has a GOOD life – happiness isn’t achievable within how the world exist currently, it is impossible, stop seeking happiness, there really is NO happiness till there is equality for all, till all life can truly express themselves fully without any FEAR, without any NEED threatened. When you see a happy couple, a happy person within their wok, within their family, within their Friend circles, within their lives – then you must know, that is but a moment, a moment in a picture, not the reality, not the truth, that s hidden, that is never revealed, that is how happiness can always ONLY be a picture within this current reality, when you take a picture of a moment of “happiness” what do you find? You had to possessed by a character, you had to be full of energy to really force that happiness out, to really suppress ALL and everything you know to be the truth, and see how easily it is to forget in a sudden moment just to experience yourself as happy, it is so easy because the world is so Damn negative, but we do not dare taking on that negativity as ourselves and not to mention this world.

So – when you heck yourself, remind yourself why you are HERE, do not forget and fall for the quick very very small moment of happiness that will present itself as a solution for NOW just not to experience yourself as useless and not able to do anything, facing and dealing with yourself is the first point of empowerment, and only through being real about that Truth of what is here as You can we start facing the truth of what is here as the world, and it isn’t pretty, it is scary, it is evil beyond what we can conceive, we have blinded ourselves for so long we can virtually even say to ourselves that things are looking better. It isn’t, stop denying the reality of what is HERE, only once we all stand up and as Individuals stand as a group within the SAME principles that is FOR and AS LIFE, can we actually start seeing change through taking on this world.

There is support for TRUE happiness – Detseni I Process is that support, Eqafe is that Support, the Detseni Forums is that support. Desteni is the most positive message in this world, it is Equality – and actually understanding it.

Day 535 – Money has defined me, being self-honest

What has been seen as one of the major factors in my life as a limitation, I would say money? All my life I have had only a lack of money, never abundance, and I do believe that most people in this world has this physical limitation. 

To start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my environment determines MY limitations and what I can do or not do, seeing and realizing that Who I am within my environment determines my limitation or my expansion.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the only real limitations that exist is actual physical limitations, such as not having a car to drive somewhere, or not having certain resources available within my environment, but that WHO I AM within the environment can decide to move myself beyond perceived limitations that are of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse real limitations and mind limitations as one and the same thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other within my environment for the perceived limitations that I am experiencing due to how I interact or experience myself around others, seeing and realizing that this is an experience within ME that is limiting ME and my expression and not about the other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that limitation of and as the mind as blame/judgements and abdicating self-responsibility for my actions that enforce limitation can be changed and through simply changing my mind and who I am within a moment of slowing down and physically assessing and checking what is here and that needs to be done.
Money Point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect who I am as an expression of myself to the amount of money I have or do not have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to go into a state of mind of retraction within my expression when and as there is little money available within my reality to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only expand and express myself if there is a lot of money within my reality/environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an expression of insecurity within myself and within my reality if there is little money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to explode and express myself fully only if there is a certain amount of money within my reality that makes me feel secure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself dependent on money in terms of my expression as who I am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep to myself and to pull myself into myself and hide my expression when and as I am in fear of survival due to how “little” money I have, seeing and realizing that money does in fact play a role in how I can move myself within my reality and my well-being, yet who I am as an expression is independent of money if I have it or not.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I change within who I am dependant on how much money I have or do not have, and within allowing myself to admit this point within me I can see what who I am is still of the mind as a preprogramed personality design that is dependent on an outside force to define me/who I am.

Who will I be if I am starving and will die of starvation?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider who I will be if I had to live in a state of starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny and be ignorant to look at reality and what is here and till what extend MONEY has defined who I am, taking it to the extreme of removing money from my life and seeing the physical consequences that I will face within such a position and who I will be within such a situation, to face myself within self-honesty and to stand within such a position within oneness and equality within MYSELF, not physically going out and experiencing this, as that is unnecessary at this stage.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I had to starve on the streets as many others do in this world, that who I am at this moment will change and thus confirming that I have not yet taken full self-responsibility for myself as this reality and who I am as part of the creation of this reality where money decides everything, from who eats to who can express themselves and who can’t, and thus IF I do not stand within self-honesty, where I see I have money and I have the time and I have the resources to take a stand within this reality to bring actual change within this reality then I will most probably have to face the consequences one and equal to what I stand as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it for granted the money and position I have currently within this reality whereas billions of others DO not in fact have the same as me to do the same as me and to take a stand to change this reality, and IF I abuse this position to NOT stand then LIFE as me by my permission as my actions will place me in the position to see and realize all others parts of me and what I have accepted and allowed for all the others parts of me to exist one and equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that Money buys Time literally, and as long as I have the time I have the money to do something this life TIME to stand up for all the others parts of me that exist in this reality within inequality and suffering, that do not have the time and thus the money to do anything, thus as a body, I must take the position/responsibility as the immune system, where I focus all my time/energy/money to heal the parts of me that is suffering, or the whole body will collapse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LET fear in the name of not having enough or not having a lot of money decide my actions within what is HERE as my current reality where I can within self-honesty see that I am in a position to walk within breathe and to take a stand in each and every moment as long as I am breathing within the position I have and to not fall for the Idea of the future and what MIGHT be or not, and to realize me here and that each breath counts and who I am within each and every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the trap of the MIND where the mind wants to be more than reality and NOT do what is necessary to live in this world, which is making money and working certain hours to do so, and making that Burden a MIND limitation where one acts and lives the MIND limitation of the physical limitation that has been placed onto self by a fucked up system, instead of seeing and realizing that one has a Job or work that is more than what billions of others can say, thus one has money and TIME do something to bring change to this world, as money speaks Louder than words in a world where screaming has been ignored and denied for as long as this has been going on, and we can make our expressions independent of the system that is a JOB for money from 9 to 5, our expressions does NOT have to be limited as the system is, our expressions is what will bring change, and we cannot fall for the MIND limitations that we make ourselves belief of being victims of a system we are part of and have created and entertained.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make money a factor in my expression, instead of using money to my advantage to bring change to this world, to take authority where it is least expected and to stand up and make the choice, take a leap of faith, what are we waiting for? For the system to magically change and support us to change this world? It’s not going to happen.

We must take authority and reach for the top even when we are placed at the bottom of a slave system. This is where we stop the slave preprogramed system of money and the effects it has on us. To move beyond it.

Day 432 – Children starve to death every day Part 1

                                                            LIVING INCOME . ME

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that I am not responsible for the thousands of children starving daily and dying of starvation daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make it my problem that thousands of children are starving daily and dying of starvation daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am separate and different from the children starving daily and dying of starvation daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that the Thousands of children starving daily and dying of starvation daily isn’t my problem just because I am not affected by them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that as long as my life is okay then the thousands of children starving and dying of starvation daily isn’t a problem, JUST because I am still okay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that this makes me a psychopath in fact – where I can accept and allow the suffering and Murder of children on a daily basis where it is obviously preventable and does not have to exist for anyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to see the connection between me being responsible for a child dying of starvation and how I am living my Life – seeing and realizing how I have separated myself from LIFE and how things in fact work and function as a whole on this one planet and that we are all one and equal in the substance we all are made of and one in how we function.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny even the possibility that I am in fact connected and one with everything that is here and how everything functions on earth and within the physical reality as a mathematical equation we all can apply and check for ourselves and thus that I am in fact responsible for the thousands of children dying each and every day of starvation which is a most basic need not met and that is most possible preventable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even give it the slightest effort to investigate how I am responsible for a child dying of starvation in another country and how I can become a solution instead and to create a world where not one child will ever die of something as preventable as starvation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to MAKE my life too busy with everything that is irrelevant and not important in life and call it living while children are dying from one of the most BASIC needs not being met for them as one of the most preventable things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ENJOY a life of ignorance and bliss as a deliberate way of ignoring the problems that exist and not facing these problems as a co-creator on earth and fixing it and bringing about a world that is best for all and doing onto another as I would like to be done onto – just so that I can have fun while Billions suffer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the problems on earth such as children dying of starvation on a daily basis will simply sort itself out.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to TRUST that the system I live in and participate within has assigned highly intelligent people to sort out the problems on earth such as starvation/poverty/famine/war – and to use this Blindly trusting point to justify my actions of self-interest and greed as my sorted out life where all is just good, and for me – NOT seeing and realizing that it is these so called intelligent people that has created the system that is here where all these monstrosities exist and that they have been in charge for many many many years and yet things are only getting worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility as a co-creator on earth and what exist here though my direct and indirect participation as that which I accept and allow through saying – it’s okay there are people who have studies and who have degrees and who have the brains to sort the things out for me/us/our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to MAKE it so fucking inconvenient for myself to take self-responsibility and to take practical steps of self-corrections and to really start self-investigation and investigating what is here and how I can as one man/women as one vote make a difference with my fellow man and to bring about a world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the shit we are in as a whole as the humans on earth, when I see a child dying of starvation or hear about it on TV to not even have the slightest care in the world and just watch it like it is a movie and as if the child was just something dying, and now imagining that everyone is like this, what monsters we are to even allow ONE child to die as a whole of something such as starvation and not yet to mention ALL the other horrible monstrous things existing on this planet through human creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make being popular more important then what really matters on earth such as bring about a world that is best for all life and to not stop till it is so in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make looking good and having lots of parties and wearing the right cloths and being a perfect robot more important then what really matters here on earth as the Physical, as that which we cannot live without as LIFE as earth as the animals as the air we breathe and having a planet where NO abuse exist that is preventable in all ways.

To be continued.

Happy New Year readers.

Day 373 – My Hidden Fear of Starving. Part 2

Day 272 – My Hidden Fear of Starving. Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the images and Ideas and Fears I have within my mind about and towards my body and here to a specific part of my body such as the metabolism, that it will have an effect as the thoughts/ideas/images I have will give signals to my body and the certain parts I have it about, and that my body will act and accordingly do things dependent on the signals I am giving it, seeing and realizing that it is best I do not give any signals and just Breathe and give breathe to my body so that my body can do what it does best as it knows best what to do, before it is too late and I might destroy or make a part of my body malfunction. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the signals I am giving my body isn’t just within having the thoughts/ideas/images, but that it is within following them and creating them within living actions, such as for example when and as I eat when I don’t want to, or fill up my plate of food with a shit load of food I will never finish, yet I do so because I was confirming the fear, validating the idea.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am participating within any of the Ideas/Beliefs/images that I have created towards my metabolism, to stop and to breathe and to realize that this is me as the mind seeking a way to blame and to have an excuse for why I am not gaining weight, or why I am skinny and lose weight quickly.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am seeking to eat food from the starting point of fear, where my fear is for example that of me not getting enough food in for my metabolism to burn out of the fear that my metabolism will start eating my muscles and make me starve, to stop and to breathe and to realize that it is all literally just in my head and that if I follow up on that fear, then I will validate the fear and through the believe actually make my metabolism do what I fear it will do. 

I commit myself to when and as I am hungry to only take the food I know I will eat, and to stop the Image Idea/projection in my head that is from/of fear that is showing me as a thought how much food I think I must take, and to simply breathe and take what I can see with my real eyes that is required.

I commit myself to stop over loading my plate full of food, as I see and realize that doing this and acting/behaving in such a way is only strengthening the fear of starvation and thus the Ideas and beliefs as well.

I commit myself to make peace with my body and to from here on support and assist my body within only physical activities that is required within each moment and to not force my body into anything more that is of the mind.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am within the fear of starvation, to stop and to breathe and to look at what is the Idea/believe behind the fear within that moment that I am entertaining that is also making my body experience what it is experiencing such as starvation, seeing and realizing that I have no Idea what starvation is, as I have more than 5 meals a day and always have food at my disposal, yet I am experiencing such a fear, showing me the truth between reality and the mind, what is real and what is not, as real starvation takes days before one can say one is starving in fact. 

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am eating out of the fear of not gaining weight and only losing weight as well as starvation, to stop and to breathe and to realize that I am now telling my body I am eating only because I am starving and losing weight and not gaining weight, and thus my body will do just that, eat the food and still feel hungry and never gain weight and sustain it, as I see and realize after years of doing this I have trained my body to have this weird reasoning that it must follow.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am blaming and abusing my metabolism within my head within my secret thoughts to stop and to breathe and to realize my metabolism is just fine and that I am the only one messing up it functionality through giving it all these mixed signals as my Ideas/opinions/believes just to blame and diver attention all because of experiences from a long time ago in my developing years when my body just could not gain muscles yet that looked good, and now I have carried out over with me for many more years just because I felt insecure and not confident back then and wanted to blame something for it. Instead of taking self-responsibility for myself and not placing security and confidence in looks, but instead within who I am as a living physical being, as Life one and equal.

Day 372 – My Hidden Fear of Starving. Part 1

A couple of days ago I got sick, the sickness lasted for four days and then I was basically back on my feet, I wasn’t hundred percent back to health but I was almost there.

Within these four days of being sick I lost five kilograms, I find it hard to believe as I have no Idea where I lost it from so quick, but I did, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me this way, previously I lost eleven kilograms within 9 days of sickness, and the time before that I lost eight kilograms in a period also four days.  

Gaining the weight back takes me at least one month per kilogram, my metabolism is very active.

I am mentioning all of this not because I have a fear of starvation when and as this is happening, me losing weight so quick while sick, No, I am mentioning this because I have seen that this is the outflow/consequences of already having the fear of starvation within me, and this I can see through my actions over time when and a I eat and why I eat and when I eat.

And along with all of that, I see the self-judgment and ideas I have about myself that only accumulates and strengthens the consequences more. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and believe that “because I am skinny in my design that I will and can stave very quickly”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will starve quickly if I do not always have food in my belly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat eight meals a day, not because I am hungry, but because I do so out of the fear that I might lose weight or start to starve my body without me even knowing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not eat within a certain amount of time, that I am losing body weight and that my muscles are being eaten away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Imagine my food being burned away like it is thrown into a fire and turned into ash when and as I eat. Believing that the food I just ate isn’t enough according to how I have judged my metabolism and how it works within my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create the ideas and believes I have about my metabolism as being a monster to my body and me not even gaining proper weight and losing weight very fast due to past experiences where I attempted to gain weight for muscles when I was in school and wanted to look sexy and that it never happened and thus seek to find fault for something I just can’t help and to blame that, seeing and realizing that it was never my metabolism at that age/stage, but simply because of my actual age and state of growth within my body and thus I have created my metabolism the way it is after years of imposing the blame and fault onto my body/metabolism, till the excuse because the actuality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own metabolism and through this fear that I have about my metabolism to eat and eat and to make sure I eat many times so that I do not keep my stomach empty and then my metabolism starts eating away at my body instead of food in my stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this image in my head of my metabolism where I see a monster with just a massive mouth and Big teethe and only a stomach that just grinds down all my food and never allows my body to be fed and have some weight for itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my own metabolism that is part of my body will not know when to stop working fast and only continue and continue without ever stopping and end up starving my body, seeing and realizing that this is the fear that is driving me to eat even when I am not hungry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my metabolism will turn against itself as the body just for the sake of burning energy/food as doing its job all the time as fast as possible.