Day 485 - The Desteni Language

The Desteni Language, is it different, yes, is it weird, NO – first understand the definition of language and investigate the word language a bit deeper, see that it is everywhere in all things, it’s even how our DNA can do what they do, for the Human it is everything.

So welcome to the Desteni Language.

Definition: Language
1. The method of human communication, either spoken or written, consisting of the use of words in a structured and conventional way.
"a study of the way children learn language"
• Any nonverbal method of expression or communication.
"A language of gesture and facial expression"
synonyms: speech, writing, communication, conversation, speaking, talking, talk, discourse; More
words, vocabulary
"the structure of language"
2. The system of communication used by a particular community or country.
"the book was translated into twenty-five languages"

Now, onto my explanation to make sense of it all. The following explanation came from my own realizations and obviously in my line of work meeting very interesting people giving me new perspectives/words and opening up my world bit by bit.

Language – most of us, if not all, including myself have been taught that a different language is a language that “ONLY” comes from another country or a different region in one’s own country where one can listen and not make out anything the other person is saying because the other person from another country or region in one’s own country is speaking NOT the same language as you. This is the Idea that comes from most people.

As we can see in the definition of language, it comes down to vocabulary. What this means is that there can be two English speaking people in the same room, the one is a salesmen, the other is a doctor, both of them speak English yet a different language, as both of them has been trained in the same language (English) for many many years just with different vocabulary, so if the doctor starts speaking to the salesmen about his day, and the operations he did and the patients he had to deal with and their diseases, then the sales men will literally have no clue what the doctor is talking about, yet if the salesmen starts talking to the doctor about what he does and how he is selling things, the doctor on the other hand will understand what the salesmen is talking about. Why? Because the doctor has that vocabulary and can thus understand the salesmen. The difference is, the doctor studied for many years the Vocabulary that the majority of society do not study, or have to know about (which is different vocabulary in English) plus he already had the basic vocabulary of English and learned from society how to use/speak the English (thus has a WAY bigger vocabulary), while the salesmen also started with the basic English vocabulary did not have to study many years to sell things, although he did have to learn new vocabulary to fit his sales, it isn’t nessasarely that much different and still falls in the line of basic English.

Now let’s go one step further – The doctor and the salesmen both have the same basic vocabulary that they both learned through the normal schooling system, the one (doctor) went on to study different vocabulary that is specific to a doctor, and this doctor now has also changed his life after many years of learning new vocabulary – as vocabulary/words directly influence how we think and thus what we do and pattern ourselves with as the person/character we become, thus the doctor will now start hanging out with doctors and he will most likely enjoy being with doctors more as they can all relate to one another and have the same way/manner in which they speak, and have doctor jokes and spots to hang out, and the same goes for the salesmen. The difference is the doctor is kind of now living a doctor vocabulary, because he deals with it every day of his life as it is his living, his living depends on his vocabulary, and the same for the salesmen.

Now we have thousands of different professions in this world, where each profession has a different set of word/vocabulary that is required to be known and lived to really be effective and to really be a professional in your profession, even if all these professions are in the same Language as English, they are each their own language in vocabulary and how the vocabulary is structured to form sentences as well, to make it possible for that profession to exist to communicate to move the points and to do what is required to do.

I for example: I know nothing about mechanics, so will I buy a magazine that is called mechanics? NO, because I will start reading it and then not know what I am reading, BUT if I am interested, I will start learning the vocabulary so I can read about it and then I can start applying myself, express myself to do it.

So, when you look now at Desteni, it is simply a new language in terms of a new structure where new sets of vocabulary is used – and it is still English, but you can go and translate it into any language and you will find it is still the vocabulary and the structure that is different for it to be that which Desteni is all about, where this Desteni Language is the language of LIFE – it didn’t just come about overnight, it didn’t just come about through a mysterious unknown development, it came about through development in what Detseni do and stand for, years of research and hard work and really investigating things in this world and within ourselves, and to really truly express it all we had to develop a new vocabulary and how we structure it in our expressions, just like a doctor who needs to know his doctor language/vocabulary to do what he needs to do to save patients and help people, the same for Destonians.

If a person finds the Desteni Language weird or different then you should know that such a person will find any other language or new set of vocabulary they are introduced to weird, and that it has nothing to do with Desteni, it has everything to do with the person and that they are not serious, you know, like me picking up a book about mechanics, a lot of people enroll to become doctors, how many make it? Not all of them, because some finds the language/vocabulary too difficult to learn/comprehend and then suddenly such a person will now be against doctors or downgrade the profession, saying things like: they didn’t really want to become a doctor, that to become a doctor one must have no life to learn those words/things etc., I had a better plan for myself, but such a person will never admit that the problem lies with self, and get everyone around them on their side as far as possible just so that they do not have to admit they didn’t make it, it was the teachers fault, the teacher didn’t teach me right, the university is going backwards.

So understand the Language point, the vocabulary – try and have one thought without using vocabulary/words and see language in all its forms, not just the different sounds, but how deep it really goes.

Day 439 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part 4

Day 436 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part 1.
Day 437 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part 2.
Day 438 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part3.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the power words have for granted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge words as unimportant throughout my life and to thus never focus on developing my vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the vocabulary I do have as just not good enough for me to get round, never developing myself to be better and to be effective within the words I use and live.

When and as I see myself judging myself and my vocabulary as not being good enough for communicating, I stop, I breathe – I give myself a chance to explore myself and my vocabulary and to express myself as my vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my ego to run away from words and learning new words and to instead just rely on energy and focusing my words on jokes and talking bullshit and thus compromising effective communication.

When and as I see myself running away from learning new words/vocabulary, I stop, I breathe – I instead focus on what is here and to give it a try to push through the resistance and the self-limitations of what I have judged new vocabulary as.

When and as I see myself focusing using my words/vocabulary and my time and energy only on making jokes, as a way of avoiding using the words I know and can use but don’t want to just because my ego do not want to as a way of hiding my own potential from myself just to remain in my comfort zone, I stop I breathe – I give myself the time and breathing to put together my words/vocabulary and to speak them once I am clear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine myself within learning new words and expanding my own vocabulary.

When and as I see myself undermining myself within learning new words/vocabulary – I stop, I breathe, instead I give myself the time and the breathes I have to go there and to learn new words/vocabulary and to stop the inferiority position I am creating and accepting and allowing within myself a the words I live as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see me learning new words and vocabulary as my demise as it conflicts with my self-belief – and to within this never push myself to expand.

When and as I see myself learning new words and it meaning the end of myself as y ego as the limitations and inferiority position I have taken on within myself as my ego to have the ego as my personality where I use not knowing words as a personality trait that keeps me as the ego intact – I stop, I breathe - I see and realize the pattern/reasons/justification and why I have them as the ego, and thus I take self responsibility for myself and my own creation of who I am, and to within this not accept and allow myself to exist as the limited ego and all that keeps the ego in place and to push myself beyond and learn new words/vocabulary – as the words I know are the words I live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the self-belief I have of myself as who I am within not learning new words/vocabulary. Seeing and realizing the resistance I have towards learning new words/vocabulary is the mind protecting itself within the personality design.

When and as I see that I am resisting to learn new words/vocabulary – I stop, I breathe – I see and realize that it is the mind protecting itself through not wanting to go there, thus I Breathe and move myself regardless of the resistance that is here till I have proven to myself that the resistance is but a resistance and does not mean anything I would make myself belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am the personality that I have assumed since child where I belief that I am not capable of learning new words/vocabulary and to within this belief actually not learn new words/vocabulary – seeing and realizing that it’s not real but only me making/creating it to be real within my actions and attitude towards it.

When and as I see myself having an attitude of limitation within my actions towards learning new words/vocabulary, I stop, I breathe, I change my attitude to be that of expansion of self-perfection of not living as the limited me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the trap of personality designs of myself and to delude myself that they are real and Who I Am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear learning new words/vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that even if I do learn of a new word that I will just forget it, and to within this already give up and not learn new words.

When and as I see myself being in fear when I have to learn new words/vocabulary, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that being in fear towards the point is me as my being, being contaminated by a chemical reaction within my body that then overwrites the actual ability as the body as me as the physical to actually learn quantum time with no fear, no fear needed at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not push myself to learn new words/vocabulary based on the belief that it will just be a waste of time, because I will just not remember and forget, and thus it’s not worth me.

When and as I see myself in a mood or state of not pushing myself to learn new words/vocabulary based on a self-belief I have of myself as not being able/capable of learning new vocabulary, I stop, I breath, realizing that this self-belief that I am continuing to direct me is keeping me in a state of never going there, never even considering to push myself, not even seeing that vocabulary is important till it is to,late, and thus I move myself, I direct myself to deliberately expand and grow my words/vocabulary as a result of growing and expanding myself.

Day 438 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part 3.

Day 438 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part 1

Day 438 – Frustration, Communication and Words Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the power words have for granted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge words as unimportant throughout my life and to thus never focus on developing my vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the vocabulary I do have as just god enough for me to get round, never developing myself to be better and to be effective within the words I use and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my ego to run away from words and learning new words and to instead just rely on energy and focusing my words on jokes and talking bullshit and thus compromising effective communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine myself within learning new words and expanding my own vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see me learning new words and vocabulary as my demise as it conflicts with my self-belief – and to within this never push myself to expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the self-belief I have of myself as who I am within not learning new words/vocabulary. Seeing and realizing the resistance I have towards learning new words/vocabulary is the mind protecting itself within the personality design.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am the personality that I have assumed since child where I belief that I am not capable of learning new words/vocabulary and to within this belief actually not learn new words/vocabulary – seeing and realizing that it’s not real but only me making/creating it to be real within my actions and attitude towards it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the trap of personality designs of myself and to delude myself that they are real and Who I Am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear learning new words/vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that even if I do learn of a new word that I will just forget it, and to within this already give up and not learn new words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not see and realize that it isn’t my ability that is influencing me learning words/vocabulary, but that it is the fear I have towards learning new words/vocabulary that affects me in learning and then keeps the self-belief alive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make words more then who I am, and to within this thus separate myself from the words and placing them higher and above me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist new words in the fear of not learning them and just forgetting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not push myself to learn new words/vocabulary based on the belief that it will just be a waste of time, because I will just not remember and forget, and thus it’s not worth me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am not worth a better vocabulary and learning new words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not belief that my own self-worth is more then what I am currently accepting and allowing for myself to exist as.

To be continued.

Day 437 – Frustration, communication and words Part2

continuation of Day 436 - Frustration, communication and words Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated when I do not find the words to express myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build up frustration through losing my words through thinking within the mind and building up energy that then directs me, instead of me breathing and directing myself as the words I decide to speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to communicate with others from the starting point of energy as the mind as me only then expressing a limited form of what I want to, as I am then only following the energy path way – instead of letting go of energy and opening/expanding myself to what is here as me as the physical expressing the words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame others for my frustration within points of communication when the communication isn’t effective and not getting the points through,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that frustration is something that happens to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that frustration is an indication that it is the other person that is the problem, never getting to the solution as I leave the responsibility with another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the responsibility of me becoming/making myself frustrated with the other person, seeing and realizing I am dis-empowering myself from stopping and changing the point of frustration and to move forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that participating within frustration from the point of victimizing myself within it, I am creating a cycle of the same patterns happening over and over as I am not taking self-responsibility and change who I am with myself within communication and words/vocabulary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the words for not simply being here, and to separate myself from the words, seeing and realizing how I am placing the words out there – instead of being here as breathe and thus the words also being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from words as something that I must fear and to within the point of communicating with others then experience anxiety/fear while communicating, as NOT having the words and to within this rather give attention to the fear and not what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated with the anxiety/fear of not having the words to communicate effectively with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself with how others are communicating and to within this judge how they are comparing as something that comes naturally to them, not seeing that how others are communicating when they are effective is due to them actually giving it the time and practice to become who they are and living it, and thus I see and realize that this is what I must give myself equally and to not be frustrated within the process but rather focus on bettering myself and becoming effectively, being okay with mistakes and then correcting myself, as this is only possible in each breathe when I am not within energy and trapped within a pattern/cycle.
To be continued

Day 436 – Frustration - communication and words. Part 1

In writing and in speaking, I am just not getting my point through – in my head it is and then was as clear as it can be, when I open up my mouth, I lose focus and I lose the point.

This I see is due to me speaking from energy, instead of slowing down and speaking with following the points that’s here, the sequence and basically how they are all connected – having the words/vocabulary to express these points are also necessary.

I do have the vocabulary and the words within me – I can use the words and see them within myself, but as soon as I speak, it’s gone. I can’t find the word.

And this happens quite coincidentally around specific people as well, mostly people that I find I have judged as more than myself, and who I have placed above me in my mind, people who I belief I have to show something, proof something, and this is an contaminated relationship I have within myself with others.

This is due to me getting all excited about my finding/seeing and then I just can’t wait to express it, and then I speak from this excitement/reaction and the energy just floods it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I speak get all excited about what I am about to say, and to within this not keep my breathing stable and to loose the information that is here and to go with the energy as a reaction.

When and as I see myself going into energy/excitement/reaction when I am about to speak, I stop I breathe, I slow myself down and I keep to what is here, as the words and the relevant information and to speak in breathe each word at a time as myself, and to basically learn how to speak properly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to confuse excitement as energy as something positive, when I can se the outcome isn’t positive when I follow through on speaking from energy as excitement, but instead compromising myself and my words, and thus what I live.

When and as I see myself within a point of excitement as energy – I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that the excitement that I have judged as positive isn’t what it seems to be, I instead breathe and let go of the excitement and follow through on speaking only once I am clear in the moment, or to move myself out of the energy while speaking slow and breathing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am the creator of my own frustration in moment of communicating with others when and as I follow excitement/energy as a positive judgment of that energy, which compromised my communication as the words I speak and how I speak them, and to instead lose focus and direction and miss the point.

When and as I see myself being in a state of positive energy as excitement before communicating, I stop, I breathe, I see and realize that this positive energy that I want to blindly follow is only positive because of what I have made it within my mind and experiences, and that the actual reality of it is me compromising myself for a quick fix of seeing if I can win – winning within my words, thus rushing for the end goal, instead of breathing and flowing through each word at a time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge the word excitement as positive based on past memories with which I defined the energy with/as and to within this only see the energy experience and wanting that, not seeing the physical timeline outflow of participating within excitement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump into conversation and to make it something that must be excited or else it’s a waste of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that a conversation that isn’t excited or fun is a waste of my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my time within not slowing down and breathing and to be aware of my words and following through with what I want to say, through rushing in and out and to then never get to the point or the point being directed, and thus becoming frustrated with myself and within myself.

When and as I see that I am approaching a conversation within the starting point of it must be fun and excitement – I stop, I breathe, I slow down and I focus on my breathing where I make myself the directive principle within all things considered and where I make the decision within myself to change the starting point of approaching the conversation as my words as me as that which is best for all life, where each word is accounted for.

Day 433 – Indicators to reach Self-Perfection.

Is it possible to reach self-Perfection? Now I am not talking about self-perfection like when you take a look in the mirror and wanting to see self-perfection as a Picture.

I am talking about self-perfection as self, as who I am and who you are and then what I do and what you do.

Now, the question has been, how do I know what to do and to change to reach self-perfection? Where do I start and what is the indicator’s I must look out for to know what I must do and when and how?
First of all, I realized that I have to be serious about reaching self-perfection; I had to make a decision within myself that I am going to move and direct myself to self-perfection and within that, it takes time, dedication and effort and thus patience yet movement.

and realizing that I cannot do this alone, this is why earth is such a awesome place, everything has consequences and feedback and thus a chance to correct and learn and self-realize, not just because there are humans here, but because everything is Here as the physical.  

This decision within self/myself I had to make first, because this is where I establish the relationship with myself, and who I will be within what comes next, the indicators that will indicate where and what I must do and when.

BUT before I go into what the indicators are I want to bring up another point to consider on self-perfection, to take into account, self-perfection isn’t what people believe it to be, we all have this idea attached to “perfection” in itself, these are two different things, self-perfection is about self and my/your reality/world that you/I participate within and who we are within it.

Thus SELF-PERFECTION is about self, not other people, not about judgment and comparisons; it is something we do for ourselves all ways regardless of what others say/think. It is perfecting self.

Back to the indicators: the indicators can be seen and be explained in many ways – I like to always give a “personal example” to give people a concept to understand and to see for themselves in their own life a similar point.

So here is my example, a very simple daily thing.

Every day in my house there are these things all around the house called Dishes – Humans use these things on a daily basis more than ones, I myself understand the frustration of wanting to reach for a cup to have some coffee and then there isn’t any cups, not even one, I look to the sink and I see, OH they are all dirty, so I know I am a culprit in this, if I wasn’t, then there would have been a clean cup every now and then, the one I washed, but I didn’t, just like everyone else, we tend to do what everyone else is doing, so it must be normal, because they are doing it, it means they are accepting and allowing it and thus I can do it. because now they will not be angry at me for not doing it, so we are all now stuck in this “silent agreement” that no one has to do their own dishes and we will all just “enjoy” life till someone has to do the accumulated dishes, its standing like everywhere on the counter.

So I took it upon myself to do all my dishes, not as a way to be righteous or spiteful or to back up a future conflict where I can stand in the “right” and not in the wrong and make everyone else feel shitty.

NO – it started this way, I made an agreement with myself to work towards self-perfection – for myself, so what happened after every cup of coffee or after every plate of food, I would finish the coffee or food and I would walk to the sink and I would find that there isn’t any space to place my dishes – But there was another way, and it was like the only way, it was really a very clear indicator for me what had to happen next – I had to actually wash my own dishes and dry it off and put it away, because the only space left was the space we made for them to stay, in the cupboard and clean.

But that wasn’t the real indicator, that was just a accumulated point of consequences and now the INNER ME as who I am as that which determines what I do was exposed to me, and the reasons behind why I always just wanted to put my plate or cup down and Go.

These indicators came up within me in that moment when I did not find a space to place my dishes, it was a reaction, a thought and then there was this thing called resistance, and then the resistance showed me as a mini projector playing in my head what needs to happen next, which was me seeing myself washing my dishes and drying them off and placing them in the cupboard – and then why I did not want to do it. This revealed a point of Laziness and a point of inconvenience and thus comfort-zone.

Let me give you another example if that one wasn’t to clear: I was fetching a bottle for myself from the store room and another one for another person, I saw that they were both full of dust and needed to be washed, so I went to the house, I knew I had to wash my bottle now, and I had the thought of washing the other persons bottle as well, but I had this resistance of doing it, because it’s the other persons bottle so he must wash it himself, so as I went to the person I handed over his bottle, But I did it feeling guilty, because I knew that I was going to wash my bottle and could have just washed his as well, but instead went against what I knew. So I started washing my bottle and the other person says to me, so why are you not also washing my bottle, I mean you must have known it needed to be washed before we could use it, yet you give it back to me dirty and full of dust but you will wash only yours? Then I laugh from a guilty conscious and said, I knew it, I wanted to do it but instead went against it, and I took the bottle and I washed it as well.

See the point of self-perfection is to do what you Know you must be doing, not what I think you must be doing, what you know you must be doing, there is a difference, thinking what you must be doing it where the mind is making decisions on made up stuff, Knowing what you need to do it real time real physical things that is here, it isn’t deniable and its haunting – it’s like walking past the cat food bowl and seeing its empty and just going, It needs to be filled, YET leaving it because apparently its someone else’s job, and then a week later the cat is dead, and then you go, I knew it.

The indicators are usually in the forms of resistance and then the moments of KNOWING what you must be doing, instead of what one is doing, its these things that if one starts doing it you will find yourself changing in a way that’s not predictable, because they are moment to moment dependent, breathe by breathe – unless its set stuff, scheduled, they are also just important but it’s not getting to the scheduled things that later on create the same moments where one goes, I knew I should have don’t that.

So how does this lead to self-perfection? Well it’s about self, it’s about you, it’s about me and who we are and what we are capable of doing that is best for ALL life in our own self change/perfection. 
Where we perfect ourselves as who we are in each breathe. Which is something we all still need to discover, yes it’s not impossible because it’s not picture related, it’s not energy related, it’s not limited to mind fantasies and imaginations, its physical living, which we all can do and perfect ourselves within.

It is those moments when you know – when you see it’s something you resist doing, when its compassionate, when its considerate when it’s not within self-interest, when it’s not about just self, when its more and beyond self, where one has to move to, where one has to let go of the limitations and the excuses and the justifications and the self-righteous reasons/logic/back-chat and where ones expands oneself in each breathe in each moment and where one becomes the universe, as you in reverse.

FYI – don’t confuse this with when you “think” I should probably go to that party now, because its been on my mind all night that I should probably go But I am not because I am resisting being with that other person etc, NO – remember the difference between thinking and knowing, knowing is, when even if there is a party going on that you are not going to – you KNOW you are staying home because you KNOW you must stop drinking and rather do some work around the house, which has been avoided through going to parties all the time – For Examples sake.

Day 96 – Moving myself Moving the world. Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I start applying myself within moving myself moving the world as me one and equal such as picking up a book to read about economy, to have the though of seeing myself in the past starting to read a book and never finishing it or even getting to ten pages of the book and to then already have created a negative emotional experience towards reading a book, to then go into back chat in a reaction towards the thought of “ this book is thick, it has over 300 pages” – “I will only finish this book in a year”, “what is the use of doing this when I have to read so much to get informed to only be able to change the world after all the reading/studying is done in years... and to then connect reading a book with a negative energetic emotion in the present moment from my past experience and thus creating resistance to reading the book and thus reading the book with all of this back chat and resistance that will take me even longer and slower to read the book, I realize and understand how i Create the energetic emotional experience for myself through participating in the thought that comes up from memory as past experiences and to then have back chat about it and thus creating the consequences and so compromising myself, instead of breathing and remaining here in and as breathe stopping all thoughts/feeling/emotions and back  chat and have no connection to reading a book but simply reading it with breathe and no limitations or judgments, and thus giving to myself the complete and total freedom to learn and even enjoy myself while reading and learning. 
 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I start my day within moving myself within and as the physical reality within doing tasks and my responsibilities, to have the thoughts of rather doing something else that might have a more of an impact on the world in terms of changing the world, - and the then have the back chat of “here I go again, the same old stuff as yesterday, when will things move and change already” – and so create an energetic experience of feeling like nothing is moving, nothing is changing and to then go into a resistance of going about my day and feeling tired all day, as I created the experience through comparing my day today with yesterday as being the same, realizing that as long as I follow this pattern of thoughts and back chat everyday, I am creating everyday the same as yesterday and thus I am looping myself within that judgment and mind set, instead of seeing and realizing and understanding that everyday is new and I am doing new things every day just with consistency and discipline and thus I am moving myself and moving the world as myself through every step I take and every mouse click I make and every blog I write and every DIP lesson I do and every person I communicate with and that I am in fact doing the same thing everyday but with new things over and over again, and thus I am accumulating and changing the course of history with all those that is doing this with/as me. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that everyday can only be the same as long as I judge it as that and thus I trap myself within everyday as my own judgment and to not see what the change is and that I am moving, and to take the simple movements for granted within the belief that it has no effect on world changing, not realizing and seeing that everyday is a new day with new things coming in and going out and thus everyday the clicks is getting more, the vlogs is getting more, the blogs is getting more, the message of world change with the Equal Money System and Desteni is moving wider and wider and deeper and deeper as we spread the message and the solutions and the common sense everyday with new yet the same information more and more and that this way the world can/will change for that which is best for all LIFE.

To be Continued.

Day 11 - How will I ever change this point.

It has been four years since I became aware of my ability to read and write and how bad I am at it, I have been working on the point so many times, over and over as I start reading and applying myself daily with in reading and writing there is always something else that takes away my time to work on improving my abilities with in reading and writing such as house hold activities, work, and other things that comes up and just takes time away.

This has been a big point for me in my life, as I can see and feel how I am being held back because of this point, every time I want to write I loose myself with in how to start, how to structure, what words to use,  and how to place them.

The biggest issue I have with in my writing is having to place everything in a certain sequences, I will have this great point coming up and as soon as I start writing it is as if I start writing the blog from the middle to the end then top the start, and this does not work or help with in me improving myself and being effective with in my expression with in writing.

After I read a passage in a book and I will tell it to someone I do the same, I start at a random point that I could remember and then just randomly tell the things as I remember it, instead of from point A to B.

I end up sometimes writing a whole blog, and once I am done and I look at it and read it back to myself, I will highlight it all and delete it with in the judgment that it is shit, that if anybody would have to read it they would get lost and not understand what I am saying, because I did not lol.

So this is a major point in my life and it is compromising everything for me in my world, only now that I am older and that I am actually doing something in this world to bring about change I realize that reading and writing has everything to do with it all, In school I never cared as the importance of reading was never made clear to me and no one ever gave me a point of understanding and why.

I have had enough.

Self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame school for not teaching me why reading and writing is important, realizing that blaming school is me abdicating my responsibility for what I have to do now in the present to change and correct what has been done in the past, thus I realize I must stop blaming school and the past and take self responsibility for my actions as the past and what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself that I did not read and write more in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for not reading and writing a lot more in the past, realizing that I myself did not have any real education as a child that actually taught me the real importance of reading and writing, and thus I realize that there wasn't anything I could have done differently with in my understanding back then of how the world works and the human that would have made me want to read and write effectively for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having the ability of reading and writing effectively as other do, I realize that judging myself will not help me at all, but only self movement with in the corrective application will help me to change the point and to become effective and a expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am being judged by others, realizing that it is only me judging me and that I am projecting it onto others to take the point of having to take self responsibility for myself away from myself and not having to face myself as my past manifested consequences that requires my correction with in actual physical application with in space and time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being stupid for not being able to read and write effectively, realizing that as long as I judge myself as being stupid then that is the signals I am sending my brain and my body and thus I realize that as long as I have the self definition of myself as being stupid with in myself then no matter how much I read or write the signals I am sending my body as me being stupid will over write the input. I realize that i must stop the thoughts about me being a stupid dumb person and to change my approach with in reading and writing to the starting point of me creating and building new skills for myself and not from the starting point of me making myself smart because I am dumb, because I realize that it is just the same as telling myself I am dumb the whole time doing it with in the starting point of making myself smart. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone dedicating a few minutes a day to myself with in building and giving to myself the skill of reading and writing more effectively because Of the judgment that "I have been busy with this point for four years and I do not see any real change".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to with in judging myself as being bad and dumb with in reading and writing, to over look the fact that I am writing right now which I wasn't able to do at all four years ago and have never before even considered it in my life, and here I am doing it.  Thus I realize that I have improved and that the mind is only improvising on one point to make me look and feel bad about myself so that I must not push myself with in permanent change and remain a slave to the mind as energy in polarities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be patient and consistent with myself with in developing effective reading and writing till it is done, realizing that when I get impatient my mind will remove all facts that is here as evidence with in the physical of actual change and only show me my self judgment till I submit and give up, thus I realize I must breath and be self honest with myself and stop,

I commit myself to read every day, even if it is just one page a day.

I commit myself to apply myself with in reading everyday and doing the Desteni reading program that has assisted and supported me a lot in the past already.

I commit myself to read and write everyday with in expanding my vocabulary and my ability to focus on what I read and to keep a sequence.

I commit myself to read and write everyday, as I realize that reading and writing is how information runs in this world, and that the world is constantly being moved through information, and that if I can read and write effectively I will become more effective with in this world with in supporting myself and all life as myself one and equal, doing what is best for all life all ways.

I commit myself to dedicate myself to improve myself with in my reading and writing to become more effective with in this world so that I can and may do what is best for all life in a effective efficient way that is best for all life in all ways.