Bernard Poolman Quote Number 1 - Practical Application in Writing

First - Getting it, that thoughts are not normal. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully consider in all dimensions how the mind functions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the mind as just something that is here and that it needs no further attention from me as to research and study the functions within all of its dimensions of and as the mind to truly understand that which I use every day.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider truly what the mind is in fact as MYSELF as the creator and user of this tool that currently runs my life, my world and so all that is within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK (using the mind) that it will be too much for me to handle to understand the mind within all its dimensions and how it functions through walking my process of writing, self-forgiveness, and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to be humble within learning about the mind, consciousness, thoughts, feelings, and emotions through taking on my process with Desteni/Eqafe and all the tools available to gain the access that is here of the research and investigations that have been done, to learn about the very thing I use daily, and that in fact at this moment has authority over me and my life yet have no understanding of how it works, and so no directive within my own life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the MIND as the very thing I use daily that has control over me, evident by the fact that there is me talking to myself, a voice talking to me, thoughts coming up within me, feelings and emotions possessing me, without me knowing why or how and for what reasons and yet directing my life in every possible way, is the one thing that will also try every trick in the book to prevent me from gaining authority as LIFE, as the mind is an AI system that has taken charge of the body and wants to stay in control.

I forgive myself that I also have NOT seen and realized that the MINd is me and that I have given the mind permission through my acceptances and allowances of TIME to control, direct and enslave me to its designs of energy such as thoughts, feelings, and emotions, using my experiences against me to remain in control. and so WHEN I want to stand up, listen to Eqafe, write, apply self-forgiveness, the MIND who has my permission will inject me with any experience as to paralyze me to actually move myself, may it be with tiredness, lethargy, excitement, thoughts of entertainment, it knows me better than I know myself and so I can and will lead me into temptation, and so I see that I must WILL myself within this process to MOVE regardless of what the mind throws at me and BREATHE out of the thoughts, experiences and move to what I set myself out to do within my process.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that what I am dealing with as me here currently is, in fact, YEARS of accumulated and layered thoughts within me, as memories, as experiences, as self-definitions, as self-values that I have to work through and move through within myself, and so I see and realize that I must not be hard on myself, yet disciplined, willed.

I forgive myself that I have NOT been self-honest about how thoughts come and accumulate if I do not forgive them effectively, and not come and go as I would like to think. Thus seeing and realizing that every single thought has a consequence within and as me and will reveal itself again to me after mutating, until I stop the thought, see the thought, understand the thought, where it comes from, what is it's purpose and playout consequences and so stand one4 and equal as the thought as me and thus not giving it power/authority over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify certain thoughts as needed and some thoughts as necessary based on an event that happened, or something that might happen, or how I feel, may it be happy or stressed, and so give way to thoughts to play and dance around in my mind, within my body and take control as MIND CONTROL of me as the being here as life.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that any thought that I accept and allow gives acceptance and allowance to all thoughts, as a thought (negative or positive) is regarded as a thought by the mind and all the mind cares about is being FED energy as illusion as an addiction, and not what the thought represents, as the MIND cares for energy, does not matter the polarity of it, as long as there is polarity to keep creating and manifesting friction/stimulation to generate more energy as to prevent/stop me as the being from self-realizing as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR truly stopping any and all thoughts and to live here directly within my reality within moments, as seeing directly, an ability that is natural, yet naturally not here due to no self-honesty and standing by principle, and thus thoughts have become what I trust even when they have proven time and time again that they can not be trusted, and so created a relationship of comfort with the mind as thoughts and so fear true content without thoughts/thinking and living here in and as breath as life considering all that is here as self within direct seeing.

Day 4 - Self -judgements and consequences

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of how truly fucked we are as a specie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of the fact that unless each and every human beings understands the mind and how it functions in detail and how the human is a personality as the ego designed to be organic robots/slaves, will we not be able to change ourselves first and foremost and thus not this world, and thus through losing sight I let loose a little bit and eventually take it way too easy with pushing and thus fall into hope.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of the extent of the problem that is here, and more so to lose sight of the educational process that is required to actually have a revolution to real evolution as the human species and thus to have a global change as the human changes,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back MY process and sharing my process continuously OPENLY as part of the educational process that is here through blogs, vlogs and general sharing, as I JUDGE my own process as not good enough, as not relevant, as not having any effect, yet within that I am in fact living those judgements and thus making believes real and so cripple my own self change and everyone else in this wold that could have benefited but now aren't due to me not sharing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead share BULLSHIT of other people sharing apparent relevant shit yet does not even touch the point of self-honesty of even a glimpse of what the mind truly is, and so withhold myself and my own process that actually covers all the dimensions that is required within the education revolution that is required for a truly evolved human.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that laziness as NOT feeling like doing something, such as writing, sharing and actually caring is a mind consciousness system design that has POWER over me as energy of the mind generated through constant thoughts that I have of myself judging myself negatively to such an extent that this energy forms layers within me undirected, not forgiven and thus it starts flooding the PHYSICAL as the flesh and stores itself within the body, and so the body starts experiencing itself as heavy and thus lazy, and so over time I am not to be found anywhere and can barely find the will power within me to even move myself as the energy as the mind consciousness system has not completely vegetated me as the body to have the body ONLY for itself to entertain itself and to keep generating energy and feed of the physical/flesh till death.

I commit myself to when and as I FEEL lazy, to REMEMBER that it isn't whatever excuse I am making up in my mind, as that is the minds defence mechanism to control ME as self-movement and to free myself, and thus I can take full self-responsibility within understanding that I created the laziness through accepting and allowing the mind games/energies as the thoughts I participated within over and over to take hold of me as the body/physical and to place me in a prison of consequence that I must then physically MOVE myself and to actually physically correct myself no matter how lazy I feel or what the thoughts are of why I should not, as this is self-movement and me taking a Stand and saying no more, and to write, share and actually change.

Day 2 – when the day has ran out, what to do?

It is late now, I have just gotten back from doing some recordings, and it is already late, I feel like just getting into bed and sleeping, or doing something else and relaxing, my Son even asked me to go to bed and watch a movie with him, but here I am, I have committed myself to write daily again. I am now living this commitment, I am going to write this blog and the go to bed with my son to watch something with him and relax with him. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider to NOT live up to my commitment and to rather give into the temptation of the mind as just relaxing and doing nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge writing and self-forgiveness as not relaxing but rather work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to just go sit down and do nothing is more rewarding and better for me than to write. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to rather write will mean I am losing out on something else, such as sitting and doing nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that to just go sit and do nothing instead of writing will give me more energy and support me more to “rest” yet I know this is a repetitive addictive pattern of simply not doing anything, and yet writing has proven to support me in fact and actually help me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as VALID to simply not write and just sit down and do nothing as if I am resting, and thus using an excuse that will and can always and forever be justified and thus I can end up never writing, as I can simply always be too tired and go with that and never push for change. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to use physical conditions and reasons as to why not write is me enslaving myself to never write or change, as the physical will always then not be ready, and thus I see and realize I must actually push through these PHYSICAL resistances and excuses and reasons I have built and maintained to justify myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use tiredness and the PAST as to why I am tired and why I should not do more and rather do nothing as an excuse and reason to not write, and thus enslaving myself once again to never face myself or change or take action, and thus I also see and realize that this isn’t only going to count for my writings but will and are seeping into all other parts of my life, and thus pushing through this point of writing and not using time as an excuse will support me equally to also push through other points in my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to WANT to simply go with and use the excuse and reason of my environment to hold me back from not writing self-forgiveness and taking self-responsibility for myself and to then always be able to say, BUT my this or that happened, or took place so I could not write, such as my son that just now requested for me to go lay down with him and just watch movies, I was tempted to simply go with him and say fuck it to writing, but instead of saw that I could write if I do not go for the temptation and then agree with him as his age and time that he can watch his movie instead next to me till I am done, and thus seeing that my initial reason without testing or trying out different ways to write was me wanting to have the easy way out.

Day 618 – My Journey to Life Update, My Desteni 2017

HI everyone,

I have decided to give an update in this blog today of how it is going with my journey to life, this isn’t referring to just my blog, it is referring to my daily every breath living, the journey HERE in each and every moment, and thus how am I doing?

I am a Destonian – this literally means one thing – rebirthing self as life and being a living example walking specifically with the Desteni Tools and principles that is best for all life in FACT.

I have been walking this journey for 9 years now, physically on the Desteni farm here with hundreds of Destoninas, with Bernard Poolman the Portal and everything else that is here as Desteni, the one and only Desteni for humanity, which is oneness and equality in fact.

I am not going to give a whole history lesson on my journey in this blog or compare anything. This is simply going to be an update.

Me personally

I am doing great, I am enjoying the daily challenges that I am currently facing internally and physically with my body and then externally (which doesn’t really exist) as all is one and equal, so me doing great does not mean I am saying life is good and easy, in fact it is me saying that there is a lot of shit, challenges and a lot of negativity, yet I am here, breathing ad I am standing, so I am doing great.

What are the challenges I am facing?

Currently I am facing quite a lot of challenges all at the same time, as I know this is how life is for most.

My challenges are as follow

1.       Me and my internal reality throwing random shit at me all the time to deal with, the thoughts, feelings and emotions that then takes my space and ability to response practically and within common sense. This I take on using the tools of Desteni as all ways, I breathe, I forgive, I write my forgiveness and then I change.

2.       I am facing who I am within my agreement – in relation to sex, communication and parenting – this I deal with the exact same tools and communicating.

3.       I am dealing with OLD long term addictions, which I am at the moment quitting and stopping, one at a time, with using the tools of Desteni and all the cool support on Eqafe from the Portal Sunette.

4.       I am challenged at the moment everyday with managing a farm/property on which a community lives ( the outside stuff) and making sure things outside gets done, general maintenance, and then attending to peoples requests for the things I can do but they cannot, like let’s say in a random moment someone needs to move something heavy, or get something fixed, I am the guy. This challenges Who I am within Flexibility and making sure that there are NO reactions, no fairness game playing out, but truly being at service within my ABILITIES to life to respond within my self-honesty. Plus all the projects that is on going, like building, setting things up, plants, nature etc.

5.       As all ways, I am still challenged by my Diet, what I eat and how I eat, and within this learning to know my body a lot more, this is a daily thing, and quit interesting to see how I eat and when and what and then the physical responses, I am within this also quitting a lot of things, like Breads as much as possible, I am now on day ten with NO coffee.

6.       Who am I within living in a community and when there are issues or conflicts or problems within the community and we have meetings and communications going on, who am I within this as a solutions all ways as what is best for all life.  So here I am challenged with never taking sides but standing with the group as a whole as principles and best for all life, not falling for what sounds right or wrong based on morality but always what is best for all and what’s in the words.

7.       I am challenged with Time, and this is specific with all my tasks that I have on the Detseni Farm, including the DIP courses where I am a buddy and have quit a few Trainees that I chat with weekly, and in that time I also have my house and my room and basic daily things I need to get too, not to mention sometime spending time with my son and Partner.

8.       This brings me to the other point, spending time with my son and partner, it is something that does not happen a lot, I do not get lots of time, unless it is late at night and my son is asleep and I can finally have time with my wife so to say lo, but then it is getting to late and I have to be in bed to wake up early to get the farm running in the mornings.

9.       I am always challenged with Money and finances, as I have NO control over finances or money, as we area  group and everything we do here depends on the message of Desteni and Eqafe and DIP and DIP lite moving and reaching people and thus that supports brings support back to us/me here equally so we can continue to be that support, but it hasn’t moved a lot in recent years, So I am always under a budget that is limited to really GROW and expand, which laces me under more pressure because that means less help on the farm and thus less time for me and things moving slower.

10.   I started a Project here on the Farm that is called Earth Haven and opened a Company called Earth Haven Foundation seven months ago, to create another branch for income – but this is much more than just income, as I am taking things to a whole other level with Earth Haven, and the challenge here is also reaching people and getting people to fund and support, because once again money is movement, and People are the foundation, so I want to reach a lot of people and then funding, create a cool group for pushing forward world change. Here my challenge is basically getting people to see the simplicity of this movement (Earth Haven) and how the impact of this will be great, basically creating hundreds of Desteni Farms across the world and even MORE and BETTER in terms of the physical practical functionality, because money can allow that and create that. her is a link if you are interested to see - https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven

11.   I run a couple of accounts for Desteni on Social Networks, and they haven’t been able to move a for a while, this is on my list daily to get a way to move them, for example the Desteni Universe I want to upload hundreds more of Bernard Pullmans Videos there but I do not have the time to go through all of them, recreate the videos and render them and upload them, as I KNOW they are awesome and most beneficial for all of humanity. Then there are still the twitter accounts, the Instagram accounts and and google accounts for Desteni and for Eqafe and Earth Haven that all needs to move daily and consistently. I am not finding time. - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb63lmCTvrWSy1-A2BO3fHg

12.   Another challenge is me blogging and vlogging a LOT more, and even doing my hangouts I used to do so much, as I truly enjoy it, but again time. So here I am doing a few a week and that’s what I can do currently, yet I know a lot more has to be done to reach more people, as that is crucial to change, to creating a world that is best for all life.

13.   Improving my reading and writing skills to become more effective within processing information and in general be able to be more clear within my words to live and express oneness and equality within myself and life.

Ok, I will stop here for today with the list of challenges I work with Daily for now, there are more, but I have to keep it more on the surface, otherwise the details of each and every challenge in each and every project or thing I do will be a book, which might not be a bad idea for the future, to write a book.

For reference, if you are interested in the DIP Pro course here and would like me to be your buddy, to walk this course with you, don’t be shy, people have to come first that are serious about helping themselves and this gets priority – so I definitely have time for  this – check it out here - http://desteniiprocess.com/ jus request me.

This is the update for now. Keep on writing, self – forgiveness and self-honesty, share and care, and no matter what stick to matter and stand within what is best for all life, this is only possible through focussing on who you are as LIFE.

Did you get distracted by the picture in the post?  check out this interview on distractions on Eqafe - https://eqafe.com/p/distractions-life-review