Day 492 – Being myself, being natural within work

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can in fact decide how I experience myself when I need to do something that I have labelled as “work” – where as I can decide to make this “work” an expression of myself, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are only a certain amount of things within this world that I can express myself within and that allows my expression to show, and thus all others things that isn’t within this category of “my expression” that still needs to be done, becomes a burden, a chore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that who I am as an expression of LIFE can express myself in anything that is here, as my expression is who I am and it isn’t decided by what I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according what I do and thus what I do must decide how I experience myself, seeing and realizing that this is a personality design, part of the Identity crises that we face on this planet, where we have entities that decide for us what we can and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when there is something in my reality that I must do or that needs doing and I do not nessasarely enjoy it, that I cannot express myself within doing it. Seeing and realizing that this is me separating myself from what needs to be done as something outside of me, yet I am the one that has to do it, I might as well let go of all the mind point and all the thoughts and back chat and the emotions and feelings that is deciding my experience and thus how I do the task and make it part of my expression where doing the task is then one of no effort as who I am is natural to me and to within this do everything I do naturally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my expressions as not suitable for this world and to within this seek out only certain things within this world that I believe will accept me expression and to limit myself to my own judgement of my own expression to what I can and cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my expression as who I am naturally is wrong and that I always need to fix myself and work on myself as my expression to fit more into this world where everyone else is doing the exact same, instead of just being myself and trusting myself as who I am and to show passion and realness through who I am instead of fakeness and pretense.

Thus I see and realize that I must also align my expression at all times within what is best for all life to make sure that my expression is abusive or harmful to others, not changing who I am but adjusting and realigning myself to be the expression that is best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not know who I am within all the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat clouding me, who I am and within this have a contaminated expression of myself that is always lost within my own mind and thus always acting out in a certain way that seems to confirm that there is something off with my expression, not seeing and realizing that it is my expression that is naturally here without the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat as the MIND, and to let go of the mind I will know who I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give myself a chance as my expressions, but to always fall into the mind as believes/ideas/opinions of who I must and thus what I can do, based on EVERYTHING around me since birth that has conditioned me through my acceptances and allowances of it.

I want to be free – freedom is to understand how everything works in LIFE, to not have thoughts/feelings/emotions chaining one down t a limited mind perspective – to be free isn’t to have no rules, it isn’t to not have any restrictions, it is to be able to freely express oneself as who you are within what is HERE without the mind trapping on within what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give thoughts power over my expressions, to let thoughts decide how I am going to approach a certain situation, instead of naturally walking in and expressing myself within what is here as REALITY, what I can see and direct one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back up my thoughts with back chat as reason and logic, to keep myself save from expressing myself, in the fear that my expression will be judged by others, seeing and realizing that it is and has always only be me judging me and through my own judgment decide and make certain actions that then show/reveal these internal judgement point where other are also now seeing it and thus doing onto me as I have done onto myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR expressing myself as who I naturally am and to TRUST who I am not matter what – seeing and realizing that this trust has been lost (since I was a baby) due to me accepting and allowing thoughts/feelings/emotions/back chat to govern my LIFE that as based on the mind as deception of LIFE as the slave creator, as the web of my own enslavement to energy.

Day 490 - Personality as a point of view

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have through my acceptance and allowances of thought made myself less than my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment I accept or allow a thought to create any form of fear/anxiety/stress or any other movement within me, that I have made myself less than a thought.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself less than a thought through accepting and allowing thoughts to “mean” something within myself as the relationship that I have created within me towards/with thoughts.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the moment a thought direct me as the physical being, that I have submitted to thoughts as having power over me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize, that thought/thoughts are but a point of view/opinion that is “separate from reality and not in fact reality as it is taking place inside MY mind and not real in reality, and thus it isn’t real.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that each and every thought I have is MY point of View and not reality in fact, as each and every thought that I have as my point of view exists as me as my acceptance and allowance to sustain a personality, so that I can say I exist as an individual who has MY own point of view of reality, coming from a point of fear of losing my “mental self” as the personality that I have as the thoughts I have as my points of view/opinions that I have – that is deliberately created within conflict to be able to sustain friction that creates Mental energy so that I can keep creating this mental friction just to sustain a limited existence as a mental individual as thoughts – my point of view on reality. Seeing and realizing that there HERE is only one reality and that MY point of view on reality will always differ from ALL other humans as long as I hold on to personality as the mental self, the projected self, not the living self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take “thought” and having thoughts as something to be taken lightly, not seeing and realizing that each and every thought I accept and allow as my point of view on reality, as my mental projection that keeps my mental self as my personality alive, that I am in fact creating a personality of disharmony, of friction, that can never move to a point of living what is best for all LIFE as me, living as what is here in each and every breath as the real physical reality we all share equally, that does not require opinion, of points of views or ideas or personalities to be what it is, what is here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my point of view on reality is relevant, that my point of view of what I interpret of reality is important and bring big insights and realization, though having these points of views in my mind as thought, as idea, as opinion that is and will be by its design always be in conflict with all other mental selves as all mental selves require for their own existence to have different points of views on reality to have friction to keep creating mental energy that then can be used by each being to make the statement, I am individual, I am unique, this is my personality, because Look at my point of view on reality with all my believes/Ideas and opinions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that thought is the Veil in front of my physical eyes, that does not allow me to see common sense that is HERE existent as the physical, but rather to only see points of views as my opinions, beliefs, ideas and thus as my “personality”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that common sense only exist within the physical, and not within the mind, as the mind is a mental self, not a physical self, and a mental self can only interpret and project, create illusions and delusions, not see reality and what is here, and thus as long as there is one thought in my mind I am living behind a veil and I will fail as the mind will prevail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to train my body to submit to thoughts and the energy that thought as the mind as the mental self uses to numb or to paralyze the body to do as the mind wants for its own limited survival and to train my body to simply give in and trust the mind/thoughts as the minds point of view on reality.

Day 471 – forgetting to live and to express myself.

Without noticing, I have forgotten to express myself, to live myself, to be myself, to be here.

When we do something every day that is the same, we start to become the same every day, we tend to mold ourselves into a character that we believe can handle this daily routine, a character that is set in a certain mind set, a certain thought pattern.

This thought patterns that we construct will eighty percent of the time lean towards a negative one, because we live in a world that is negatively charged by fear and thus everything we do is out of fear, the very job we have and that make ourselves believe is something we are doing because we love doing it, is a lie, because we are doing it out of fear for survival, for our daily bread that isn’t naturally provided to us.

So this is also the danger, I have been doing the same thing over and over every day, which isn’t a bad thing, that is simply an opinion of judgment, it is who I am within it, have I become a certain personality within what I do or am I deciding who I am within each moment within each breathe.

See the difference, if I am accepting and allowing myself to “become” a certain personality within what I do through accepting and allowing the daily influences to mold me, then I will become a negative personality, it is as simple as that, and thus I will have a negative mind set which will lead towards a negative outcome. What we resonate is what we create, even if we pretend to be positive, it is the resonance, that which Is unseen that will shape the outcome of anything.

Then there is the other way, where I wake up every morning and I decide who I am, am I the authority of who I am today, am I taking on my life situation full force with all that I am here in each and every breathe, am I the one making directive decisions and living them fully, am I the one that is living my utmost potential in each moment.

So there is the difference, and what I have been living isn’t the second option to a certain degree, I have accepted and allowed everything negative in my reality to influence me, my goals and my starting point, I have accepted and allowed myself to become negative within my stance and to resonate that “downiness” of not achieving, so on a daily scale I have been living in a down mood, a mood that brings everything down with me, no beaming LIFE coming from me, just me doing what I do every day with the already anticipated downiness within me, of no results, not achieving, just the same as before. And surprisingly that what I create and that’s what happens then.

So I see myself living my utmost potential, yet I fail living it because the utmost potential I am seeing in my head is just that, it isn’t a reflection of real time, living in the rawness of reality, one and equal within how the physical actually works and what I need to do and how I need to move in fact, an that’s half the point, I can’t live my utmost potential if I am only focused on the mind and holding myself in the past results, I must burst out of this confinement of the past and I must move with full confidence and full self-assurance and really mean it, I must move with pride and I self-trust and I must really live the day as if I am going to die today, there must be no excuse, there must be no reason for me to ever say I did not do my best in every single big or small moment to make things work that is best for all life.

I must break the physical spell I have placed over my own physical body – the spell if called thinking and the curse is the thoughts, these habitual thoughts and secret mind thinking is the killer of all time, killing time with doing nothing, yet doing so much, it is like planting trees but not watering them, not nursing them, but expecting fruit. The details of expression are important.

I accept and allow myself to express myself, to live and to be here, I allow myself to be big as live, I give myself this as a guide in each moment within each breathe. I am life and I am allowed to live.

Day 430 - Is this Possible - Standing as all Characters Part 3

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.Day 428 - Is this Possible - Standing as all Characters Part 1
Day 429 - Is this Possible - Standing as all Characters Part 2

When and as I see myself separating myself from other characters that are here in this world as the humans through judgments, I stop I breathe and I stand stable within breathing and do not accept or allow any judgment within me that is of separation from another.

When and as I see myself accessing the “belief” or the automated pattern where I “belief” that I have to judge other people as their characters in a good/bad manner in order to feel save and to only protect my own self-interest – I STOP, I breathe, I see and realize that it is but only a Belief and a Pattern that I have automated to protect only my own self-interest, and that within this I am separating myself from the other being and thus creating “fear” within myself that is unnecessary and only sabotaging myself and the other person.

When and as I see that I am within the Pattern as the Behaviors and the thoughts/back-chat within me where I am attacking/judging another in a good or bad way just to protect my won fears/self-interest, I stop I breathe and I rather direct myself and what I give attention to, to myself and my breathing and me being here as the Physical in practicality and learning to know thyself as another.

When and as I see myself judging myself as the characters that I have accepted and allowed myself to become/exist as in a good/bad relationship just so that I can judge another characters/people to feel good/bad about myself as a way to fuel the energy that I am addicted to as the patterns that I have constructed for myself as endless cycles of doing the same thing over and over again just to have the same energy feelings/emotions just so that I can feel I am surviving and living and protecting myself as the patterns of separation that I have created for myself I stop and I breathe and I direct myself out of this endless cycle of self-abuse and “broken record” living, and to move myself to rather stop the separation within myself and to stand and walk in another’s shoes as my own and or walk my own shoes first to understand myself and how I created myself so that I can walk a solution and become the living example for myself as that which is best for all life in full understanding of all the mechanics that is here as creation as myself.

When and as I see myself being in judgment while helping or attempting to help another – I stop and I breathe, I realize the consequences of my actions as all actions and words I speak in the attempt of helping another person will be contaminated by my secret judgment and thus not be helping but rather creating problems, as I see and realize that I am helping another through seeing them and their situation as separate from myself and not standing in their shoes as them as myself in that moment and helping them as I would have helped myself in such a situation.

When and as I see that I am in fearsof another – thus fearsng standing in their shoes in fact in the moment in separation coming from a belief of that I am different and that I would not have done the same if I was that person – I stop and I breathe and I allow myself to really Talk or communicate with the other being or to be here in breathe listening unconditionally and to place myself in their shoes and to see for myself in fact if I were in their shoes what I would have done and how they have done what they are doing or did and to check myself the truth and to only then give an answer or direction to them as myself and not in separation as judgments that come from self-interested characters that’s only in it to protect themselves and their own energy sources from/as the mind.

Day 429 – Is this Possible – Standing as all Characters Part 2

Continuing from - Day 428 - Is this Possible, Standing as all Characters Part 1

Clarification – when I say walk in anothers shoes, I am not saying go and actually do things, like if you walk in the shoes of a murdered without judgment, it does not mean go and murder someone just to walk in their shoes, see we humans have this ability that isn’t about feelings or emotions or imagination or mind basically, this ability is where we are all in fact ONE, and thus we can as ourselves within ourselves place ourselves with and as another to see their life and creations as ourselves – because we are all in the end the exact same in how we function and create characters and live them, it is to walk each process of each character within self to see the creation process and to understand it and to stand one and equal to all characters – this is where one can stand as all characters and not be in fear of characters and then take it further – walk as each character the process of self-forgiveness and self-change to be that which is best for all life and to be life – and thus one find’s as yourself the solution and takes a position of authority – so there is no excuses and a clarity for all existing characters on how to change as you are the example, and this will lead to where one will find many characters require a System change to give them the opportunity to change. This understanding within self and all will be motivation enough to why Living Income Guaranteed is a Must.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all other characters that are here in this world as the people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as judgment as the point of separation of what is here as all characters that exist as the humans here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I as the Character that I exist as have to judge all other characters in a Good/bad relationship in order to feel save and to only protect my own self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all other characters as Good/Bad just to protect my own self-interest as the character that I exist as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself and my Character(s) that I exist as in a good/bad relationship and to within this judge all other characters to feel good/bad about myself as a way of keeping myself in check within my own self judgment and the judgment of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT consider walking in another person’s shoes unconditionally in fact through taking off my shoes for a moment and to fully understand another as myself so that I can stand as the Problem and the solution in clarity in fact as that what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I am helping or attempting to help or support another being while being in judgment of that person and their character that I cannot help them but instead all I can/am doing is making decisions based on the judgments I have within my mind towards/about the other person instead of the actual problem and thus the solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ignorant to the message of “walking in another’s shoes” as a point of judgment which reflects the ignorance of actually in fact understanding the implication and the practical application of such statement and to walk it practically in fact in each breathe/moment.

I forgive myself that have accepted and allowed myself to fear stepping out of my own shoes, out of the comfort of my own shoes and to step into another’s shoes in fact as myself and to walk, as the fear is of what I might find and what I have to admit and realize for myself and that what I have judged and believed was/is always just a lie and not real and the abuse that exist within that and all I have done thus far through the separation, thus seeing and realizing I must walk in the shoes of another to understand myself as them and to within this not place any judgment of good or bad, but to do so within the principle of what’s best for all life being my guide.
To be continued.

Day 428 – Is this Possible, Standing as all Characters Part 1

Why do I fear a murderer or a rapist or a gangster or a gym buff or a weird looking person standing on the corner of the street, or a homeless guy? Why do I fear these characters?

It is simple, to first realize that it is all only characters – as a character is someone that plays a certain role in a movie/film or a performance, and we are currently living in a show called capitalism, and capitalism requires characters to play certain roles so that capitalism can be capitalism.

If the People/Characters that exist today did not exist the show called capitalism could not have been possible, each and every role of each and every character is specific and simply a creation from the system/environment.

The characters are each unique and special within how they were created since birth, the character that is built and designed how to act/speak/move and then what to do is all formed and trained how to act accordingly to the input from the environment and thus the memory implants, the characters aren’t the being that was born, it is literally an actor playing its role, unaware that it’s a role and calling if Life, this is simply how life is.

So why do I fear these characters? I myself am a character, so as my character I must play the roles that I have learned since I was a child and then the roles I have assigned myself through what was taught to me as a child, so all other characters are obviously acting with me in this BIG play we call life, only the things we act out are REAL based on fictional creations in our minds, that’s one scary point, so the other point is, as my character I am not allowed to ever BREAK character, otherwise I will lose my job, I will get fired from my role and who knows where I will end up.

So standing in the shoes of others as their characters is breaking character, I am stepping out of my acting shoes and standing in someone else’s acting shoes. Which goes against the script I got from those that have gone before me!

So I always stay in my shoes and rather judge all the other characters and separate myself from all the other characters just so that I can keep my character, through judging all the other characters I am defining my character as everything I don’t want to be judged as as what I judged others as, because I see the evil within me through the act of judging and thus fear this act of evil to be done onto me, it’s like I fear judging myself the same way I judge others, how ridiculous, because apparently at the end of the show we call life, there will be a reward for the best character, this reward comes in many forms as many different parts of life assume it will be after death and claim it as truth.

So I am facing a few characters and will be facing a lot more coming, many I have never even met yet, because each character is circumstantial in a way.

Its like when I was sixteen and I went with a friend to a petrol station and he introduced me to this Nigerian guy that is his drug dealer, this was a mean motherfucker, I was shit scared of him, he was massive with BIG muscles and he had lots of chains and gold rings and tooth and a sidearm on him, in the open, this guy had the whole Character of gangster and that he has been in some shit I have never even thought of, who Knows, I feared this character and till today I fear anyone that might resemble such character, yet why do I fear him?

I never took the time to place myself in this characters shoe and to walk in his shoes and see for myself, I immediately went into first Judging and thus separating and thus creating fear.

Same with once I stopped drinking alcohol, everyone else drinking alcohol is scary, yes I was that character before, I played that role a few times, I fucked up badly with this character, yet Now I suddenly am faced with these characters in my life and I don’t know what to do, I still fear them, they are unpredictable and drunk/possessed.

This reveals to me that even when I was that character I never investigated myself as the character even, I even separated myself from the characters that I played, and now I have to revisit these characters and face myself as the character and stop the fear/separation within me, stopping the judgments.

Journey to be continued.

Day 66 – The Personality Suit Part 1

Everyday since I can remember, I have been known as a certain personality, everyone knows me as this personality.

But from when i can not remember as a very young baby/child I was known as a child/baby, this was not my personality YET, it was still in development. 

So observing these two points I can see that there are two me’s,  one as the personality and the one that long forgotten, I can not remember me before the personality because that ‘me’ wasn't based on memory or the mind, this is still a observation stage for me and not yet an actual self realization

So this shows clearly that I am not my personality, but that my personality was developed and wrapped around ‘me’ and then I become my personality, split into two. 

I am now seeing that I exist as the personality, yet inside the personality, underneath there is me, I do not know me as I have shunned me away for the fake me as the personality, because only the fake me can/could survive in this world, that is why I created a fake me, and I have forgotten the actual real me before memory and thoughts, the me I can not remember as memory.

Self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the personality as me currently is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget how I i created my own personality and suited myself up with the personality and that I have worn the personality for so long that I have forgotten me and do not even know anymore that I am underneath the personality suit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish me as life and that I have given my personality value over life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind personalities to not to have to face what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind my own self created personality as if the personality is real, realizing that the personality was created by someone else that is me to begin with proving the personality isnt real and that there is a me not self created yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give that which isnt real more value than life than me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the person behind the personality is proof that the personality isnt real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the personality to not take self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to manifest as consequences within my world and the whole world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I created the personality out of fear and self interest to justify what I have created in and as this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the personality, realizing that I am the creator of all my personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately hide the fact from myself that I put on different personalities around different people and to still belief that the personality is real, not realizing that an actual being must be in charge of deciding what personality to use when.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I give power to the mind as personalities I am giving the mind power over me to control me and to move me and to direct me and thus I realize that when I give such authority to the mind that is driven by energy I am willingly giving permission for abuse and consequences as the mind will use the body to fuel its energies according to the personality design and what it likes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge personalities as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge personalities as good. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create personalities out of self created beliefs about myself and that I require such personalities to survive or hide fear within this world, 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create multiple personalities for myself for each and every person I know and a personality for all event/scenarios to hide and to feel save, not trusting myself as breathe as the physical through identifying myself as past experiences and creating it as part of personalities, realizing that I do not have ti identify myself with past experiences as memories as I determine who I am in each and every breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create multiple personalities though self judgment of myself within certain areas/things in my life to hide the insecurities and self judgments, never actually facing them and standing up as them one and equal, creating a burden for myself instead of seeing all the points coming up as opportunities to change and expand myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I must have personalities to survive within this world never giving myself a chance as who I am, realizing that who I am is still to be determined by me as I have completely neglected me through continuously bombarding myself with personalities to survive the whole time in a world system that is not best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of personalities.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as it took time to create all personalities so it will take time to take them out with writing and self forgiveness and self corrective living in each and every breathe as self purification in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am not responsible for the way I am as existing as many personalities, realizing only I have given permission for them to exist as me and thus it is who I am currently as the Mind as energy and thus I have to take self responsibility and stop me as personalities as the kind and birth myself one and equal in and as the physical.

To be continued.