Day 94 – The Fearful Character sits and waits P4

I commit myself to when and as I see a situation.scenario play out in front of me and/or somewhere else in the world, to take action in the moment to move and direct myself and to not give in to the thoughts of what I could be doing instead of take responsibility for the world and myself such as me instead watching TV or going out to the movies, or partying with friends or playing a PC game, and to not fall for my OWN trap within my back chat that of “ I do not need to do this, there are other people taking care of earth and me” or “I don't have to do anything, it is my choice” and to realize that this is the mind attempting to keep me enslaved and to not stand up, and to keep the fear/anxiety alive, just so that the mind can feel it is save and in control and okay, while the physical reality is clearly showing me that there is problems and needs attendance instantly and thus realizing that any form of postponement will only accumulate the problems/consequences that I will face equally with all life here on earth, and thus my fear/anxiety will in the end not at all be of any excuse in the face of life as I will be AWARE of every-time I deliberately made the decisions to rather go watch movies or party or TV and to not take self responsibility using fear/anxiety as an excuse and that I do not know how to do anything any ways – and thus realizing that I could/can use all the time I spend doing something else instead of taking responsibility to find out HOW in FACT I can change the world through starting with myself and investigating how the world and everything works so that I can change it as myself. 

I commit myself to when and as I see/find myself participating within back-chat of “ this is to much” I can not do this – to stop and realize that I am only talking to myself that way because of thoughts that I have of what else I could still be doing – such as seeing myself having a fun time laughing instead” or “playing video games all day long and not having a care in the world” – and to realize that it is in fact not to much, it is only through the mind participating in thoughts that is not HERE in the present moment and within back-chat that is internal Conversations CONning me with temptation and cunning words of deceptive reason and Justifications that is purely based on an energy feeling/emotion experience of the mind all based on SELF interest and NOT what is best for all LIFE and thus it is not real but an illusion that I desire to rather have, to not have to face the physical reality that is here in the present as the future I decide I create that includes all life all ways– realizing that the thoughts/feelings/emotions and back chat is but all pre-programmed in me of the past as experiences/memories and thus it is not real but the past, it is over, and if I want to relive the past over and over through not taking self responsibility for the future to come I will face great consequences that I created for myself, it is like driving for a cliff and you can see it but you enjoy driving fast to much to slow down And stop. Its all an energetic drive/experience and not what is real as LIFE as that which is currently being destroyed/mutilated/neglected/fucked up for consumerism and making money and thus I realize that it is this act of not taking self responsibility for myself but rather stay in fear/anxiety that all humans do with their own justifications and reasons that fucking up LIFE and thus I have to start with myself as I realize everyone has to start with themselves if we want to see any change before it is to late.

Day – 93 – The Fearful Character sits and waits P3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am in a situation/scenario where I have to take responsibility, and the thought comes up of me rather being somewhere else where I do not have to face this situation, and to allow the back chat of “I can not do this, I have to much fear”- to not realize that I have to face the fear as what I have created myself as, as the character that plays out within the certain situations/scenarios through taking a stand through not giving into the thoughts/back chat that keeps the fear alive and validated, and to take responsibility in the moment, realizing that if it does not happen here and now I am giving the fear/anxiety power/permission to direct and control my life, where as I take self responsibility in the moment that is presented to me. I have the one opportunity to face myself as the character and to stop the fear and set myself free from the mind enslavement I have created for myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to when I am faced with certain events/scenarios in my life that I have judged as fearful/stressful in/as the past as memory, to decide to  direct me in/as my actions and ability to take self responsibility in the moment --  where I instead will bring up thoughts as pictures of the past as memories where I have preferred situations/scenarios and distract myself with a differentcharacter I can play instead as the fearful one, and then not take self responsibility and rather run and hide towards the memories/pictures/thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I have to take self responsibility for an event happening in my life to rather give into the thoughts of – I would rather be doing that followed by the back chat – “I do not like doing this, I do not have to do this, I have choice, this is my free will to not have to do this” and to realize that the moment that is here is also my free will/choice to take self responsibility and to not take self responsibility for the moment that is here and to rather give into the thoughts/back chat I am actually submitting myself to the past as the mind and to neglect the physical reality that is real and to instead give power to the illusion as the mind, proving that I do not yet have free will/choice as I could not make the free choice with my free will to take responsibility for the physical reality and what I/we have created and accepted and allowed to exist for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when a situation is “here” in the moment to want/desire to give into the thoughts of escaping the situation/scenario where the thoughts would present a false image to me of/from the past as a preferred situation/scenario where I could rather be watching a movie or be laying on my bed, with Back-chat of false reason and justification in the attempt to manipulate me/myself why I do not have to take self responsibility for the scenario to not have to face the fear/anxiety as the character I exist as, and to rebirth myself in breath -- where the back chat will be that of leading me into temptation such as – “I could be outside sitting on the porch drinking coffee” – “I could rather be entertained with something/someone else rather than facing what is going on in reality” – and to realize that this pattern of thought/behavior is the behavior and thought pattern of the consumerism industry that exist today that is neglecting earth and all the inhabitants and only abusing life and why nothing is changing and only getting worse, and to stop and breathe and to face my reality in the moment of the scenario/event and to not postpone and take self responsibility and live the correction as that which is best for all life and to stop living as a character that only plays illusional roles in the mind and to instead breathe and face reality to fix what i/we have created as hell for all to a place that is best for all life – Equal Money for all.

To Be continued – Self commitment

Day 92 – The Fearful Character sits and waits P 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow patterns in my life as normal and acceptable, realizing that it is to stop all patterns that isn’t best for all life as myself and to create new patterns in awareness that is best for all life in all ways, thus I am aware of the patterns and who I am within the patterns and thus I can direct and not be directed, and so manifest a world that is best for all life in all ways as myself.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the pattern of when I experience fear/anxiety as a negative energy built up as emotions within me, that was created/accepted/allowed from/through past experiences as memory to control and decide for me as the past as the emotional experience that I have connected to the certain events/scenarios how I will act and WHO I AM within such events situations and to not move/direct myself but to remain trapped within the emotional/negative energy charged experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself within self created patterns of negative energetic emotional experiences of fear/anxiety through validating the experience through using past memories/experiences as the reasons/justifications to why I am trapped within my own fear/anxiety and not moving/directing myself and taking self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as past experiences as pictures within my mind trapped in time, as thoughts, to activate certain characters within me -  that I defined according to the past and created according to the events/scenarios and to take on the role of the characters and play out the character in the event/scenario as the past in the belief that the character is the only way of handling such events/scenarios, realizing that this is limited and part of the mind consciousness enslavement for me to not move and direct and take self responsibility for and as the physical and what I/we are creating on earth, realizing that as I accept and allow such patterns of when and as I see/am in events where I need to take action but instead play a character of being fearful/anxious as being overwhelmed by emotion within the justification of I do not know what to do as this is a “new” event/scenario happening, that I am giving permission to the rest of all human being to use such excuses/justification to not change the world with common sense as this acceptance and allowance is showing that we apparently need to be toughs/shows what common sense is, yet it is what is common to all life in all ways in the physical and thus the solution is the opposite of the problem, as the problem is not seeing/taking care of all life and the common interest of all life to live. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I give permission to characters such as the fearful/anxious character that I justify with/though saying that I did not know how to I did not have the knowledge and information to act and take self responsibility, that I am actually in fact saying to myself that with earth having more then half the planet with no education and even more then the half with no proper education that the earth and human race have no chance, I realize that I must stand as the solution as the living evidence that knowledge and information isn't needed to change self and or the world and that fear of changing the world is but a character we play to hide the fact that we can see with out having the “education” on the subject to change the world – what the problem is and if we can see the problem we obviously know the solution, and thus no education needed but people taking the steps of self responsibility and ending the character of fear/anxiety that only sits and waits, so we can get up and move and change ourselves and the world to that which is best for all life.

To Be Continued.

Day 33 - The control Bully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control my fear and reactions instead of dealing with who I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as contained fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contain the fear with in me as a way of control, within the believe that as long as I am able to control my contained fear that I am in control, realizing that the fear is in control and thus have side effects such as bullying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take all the fear that I allow within myself and to bottle it up within myself from the believe that fear is wrong and bad and that I am weak if I show fear - realizing that within the attempt to control the fear within me I am as Who I accept and allow myself to be and to try and control life outside of me within ever moment, realizing this causes me  to live within fear and anticipation and thus I live with in constant reactions and abusive behavioral patterns that is a side effect from holding in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can control reality and all situations/scenarios - realizing that through time in the past it has been proven and shown to me that I can not control all of reality and that which is outside of me, but that I can only decide outcomes as who I am within situations/scenarios coming up/happening and to accordingly act with in the best interest of all life as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as mind control over myself with in containing fear and play outs on reality - realizing that with in existing as a controlled self I am not allowing myself to deal with points such as fear effectively and thus suppress the point with in control and so create my own limitations and reactions in life as I project and anticipate the contained fear with in me manifesting with outside of me, which leads to external release points such as bullying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of control with in me as a reason/justification for reacting and getting angry when I see other beings aren't controlling themselves as I do, as this is a jealousy point because I see that my fear that I am controlling isn't real and thus I fear the fear isn't real and so want to get angry and impose my fear onto others so that I may feel save and right and in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose my point of self contained fear of life within and as control onto other life forms/beings either through physical abuse or emotional abuse as to feel things are fair, giving reason for why other must fear and feel the same as me even if it isn't real and thus feeling in control, realizing this isn't best for all life or self at all - as what I am imposing onto life as my own control through my actions is creating fear with in other life forms/beings and thus more danger for myself and others and actually creating my own fear through my fear.

I commit myself to breath and to check myself and to see if I am in a manifested pattern of abuse such as imposing my control onto other life/beings though my own fears and insecurities, and to stop through writing and applying self forgiveness and to live the correction as to stop the mind created control and to remain here with in and as the physical with in what is practical and common sense as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I commit myself to take self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist within me as my own fears and to not suppress them or judge them, to walk the points with in writing, self forgiveness and to release myself from the bottled up fears and to stop manifesting a world in fear through control.