Day 648 - There is Nothing that Anyone can do to me

Today, as I was browsing through FaceBook to find Desteni related posts and sharing of Destonians to like and share (as my only reason for existing on FB) I came across a post of a quote of Bernard Poolman that once again brought peace to me. Below is the post/quote that I found and so now I will do my Self-forgiveness writings on the points that came up for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the point within the quote of repeating the words "There is Nothing that anyone can do to me" as I reacted within a judgement of "but am I not deluding myself by saying this", and so build up a slight resistance to take the advice and applying it, as and for myself, I do see and realize that I reacted due not fully having context/understanding within the statement of "there is nothing that anyone can do to me" and so I am here writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I read the words "there is nothing that anyone can do to me" to jump immediately into FEARS I have within me of being physically harmed, attacked, abused or tortured, and so going into the back-chat of " but this quote is untrue, there is so many things that other people can do to me" and so missing the point of - There is nothing anyone can do to ME - ME referring to the eternal being that is here as life, and so there is literally within the consideration of eternity nothing anyone can ever do to ME, unless I accept and allow it within me as my being.

I forgive myself for going into immediate thinking and back-chat as the mind after reading those words and having a sense of peace within me, and so contaminate the expression the quote gave me to LIVE through fears, and thinking, and projecting, and over calculating and analyzing every word and every single dimension of it as knowledge and information to keep me from being here, and to remain trapped in the mind as energy/fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge having inner peace as wrong. 

I forgive myself that I have not seen and realized by denying myself inner peace I am denying peace within this world, and for me to peacefully walk and bring about what is best for all life, practically without fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must always be in conflict within myself to be able to keep up with the world and the conflict within the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself hurt, broken, and effected by this world within the believe that I must be that to be able to be real, to bring change to this world as what is best for all, not seeing and realizing that I can only create what I am, who I am as my acceptances and allowances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself inner peace as to always be on guard, to be ready for the worst case scenario's as to NOT be harmed physically, thus always living in fear and anxiety.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in fear and anxiety of being harmed, hurt or anything else being done to me, within the believe that someone or anyone can do something to me as ME the being, yes physical pain is real, yet it ends and I continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as the form of the flesh that I am walking within currently, and so develop fears in relation to the form as the flesh that also control and enslave me as the BEING as long as I accept that - and so have chains on me that keeps me limited and in place to not move and direct myself as effective as possible within this world, as I am trapped in fear of a moment, the moment being this life, one life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the benefits of having inner peace within me within the words of " there is Nothing that anyone can do to me" as this removes the fears of, and in relation to people, and so I can walk as LIFE, fearless, and stand as life fearlessly to bring about what is best for all life within the consideration of eternity as all life as me.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to be self-honest with myself to what extent I am controlled within the fear of others doing something to me, may it be physical, mental or emotional, and where I will experience myself as negative/bad WITHIN me, and so I see I fear experiencing myself as bad/negative within ME, and thus I fear that this badness/negativity defines me, and so I see and realize that within understanding that everything that effects me as the being, is through me accepting and allowing things to define me within me through what happens outside of me, and thus not yet knowing who I am and standing as who I am as LIFE in fact, which can never be effected by anything in fact within the consideration of eternity as the true consideration of all life as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed experiences that are induced through the physical to define me/who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that experiences that are induced through physical events HAS to and MUST define me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how others react to me, talk to me, defines me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that how others behave towards me MUST define me, MUST mean something about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe how people respond/comment or give opinions towards me must define me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed ANYONE to be able to do ANYTHING to me through taking everything personally, through existing as a personality character based on energy, believes and opinions, that isn't real as WHO I AM, and thus can be destroyed in a single moment, and thus I see and realize that each and every-time someone is able to effect me, I must end that part of me and so end all parts of me that is of personality till only LIFE as who I am stands for eternity and thus "there is nothing that anyone can do to me" through ending what isn't real and standing as what is real. to be the change to end the cycles of repeated history.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK instead of breathing here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to JUSTIFY, instead of breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BLAME instead of breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to VICTIMIZE, instead of breathing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make everything HARDER than what it is, instead of breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT breathe in simplicity, here as life.

I commit myself to when and as I see I am going into the mind, as thinking, as analyzing, instead of being here, to STOP, to BREATHE and to move as what is real/eternal as who I am as LIFE,  and so LIVE " there is Nothing that anyone can do to me" in fact.

I commit myself to repeat this statement to myself as much as possible daily, and specifically when I feel someone is doing something to me, till I am living this statement in fact and so enable myself to walk fearlessly as LIFE as that which is real. '

Day 5 – Reactive behaviour

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad when and as I go into reactive behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into reactive behavior judge myself as already being too late to stop the reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into reactive behavior of what some has said, where I got triggered to react and to in that moment not feel like I can hold myself back, go into the energy and possession of the energy and to follow the energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I follow the energy of being in a reactive possession believe that it is good, that it has a point and to within that get carried away and speak and behave in a way that I cannot take back what I have said or done, and so go into the feeling of now it is too late, I have fucked up, and to start identifying myself with the reactive behavior as who I am and that I am now bad and cannot change and so already create the next reactive behavior moment where I will now trust this behavior and believe that behavior is good for me, because it allowed me to let a lot of things out where I feel good yet disregarded the other person or people within my behavior. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am in reactive behavior to believe that this reactive behavior has come up for a reason and thus it must have a point, and thus act out the point and impose this reactive behavior onto others, when in fact the point was for me to stop the reactive behavior and to take a look at what someone else has said and why that made me react and what is the point within me that I need to look at and that it has nothing to do with the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into a reaction where my behavior changes, my voice changes, my beingness changes and I start resonating off a certain energy of dominance, self-righteousness to FLAG this as a red flag, to not go into it, to not speak further, to rather stop, breathe and low down, see what is here within me, and to within this FIRST sort out myself and then only speak, if I find I am unable to in that moment stop, I commit myself to not speak, to not say a thing until I have taken the point back to myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm and hurt others with my words and my physical behaviors that change in how I hold myself with my words and through what I am saying by accepting and allowing to take on this reactive behavior as who I am and that it means something, that it has a point. 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the harm that I cause when and as I go into reactive behavior when and as someone else says something that activated reactions within me, that is of me inherently, and to within that take my personal point and super impose it onto the other person and to within this disregard the other person completely and thus hurt them, harm them in ways that I do not understand as I was possessed and consumed only within y own energies only thinking about myself and not what is best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mean and ugly when and as I go into the reactive behavior and to within this take on a totally new and different character that I do not like, yet I play the character and afterwards I do not know myself and can only them play into a polarity game of how I feel and how I make others feel the whole time, always trapping myself between good and bad and never standing as me as life one and equal as clarity and as best for all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and believe that when and as I am within a reactive point as my behavior that I am acting out that I am in some point of power and thus within this attach and learn and believe that this reactive behavior gives me power and so start to enjoy and fear it at the same time, as it can be unpredictable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within the point of playing out reactive behavior and to allow it, to go into it, to NOT stop it, and to then create consequences that I yet do not understand but will have to live through and feel it and learn and see it, instead of seeing and realizing that real power is here within me t STOP the reactive behavior and to breathe and to rather be still till I am clear and only speak once I am here as what is best for all and not my own personal reaction and personal points of flushing my shit out onto another.

Day 474 - Insecurity and Part of my Story Part 2

continuing from day 473 - insecurity and part of my story part 1

In my previous blog I gave a brief example of how I have come to realize my insecurity within me through certain events happening within my environment.

Now I want to touch on the point of what is here with me now as insecurity. Something off topic that I would like to share as well.

When we accept and allow any feeling/emotion or experience within as true and valid, we don’t just accept and allow that feeling/emotion or experience as just that, we are in that moment accepting and allowing ourselves to not literally shape and create ourselves and our reality according to that acceptances and allowance.

So looking at insecurity I can see within myself and within my reality how I have Limited myself to quite an extend within what I do, how I live, what I am willing to do and how I have through the acceptance and allowance of the insecurity to literally create my life.

I am going to share a few general points that one can maybe relate to to see how this effects one’s life within accepting and allowing any feeling/emotion or experience to be taken as real and valid and given power.

From my past decisions I had to make in life I made them from a point of first accessing myself, if I like a certain girl or sport or hobby or friend for example in school, I will first access myself and then see if I am a fit within myself for the topic, the assessment that I make is bias as it is based on personal self-created opinions I have about myself, of which one of the influences of decision making will be insecurity, am I insecure or not.

Now what within one’s own mind determines the insecurities? How did the insecurities end up in there, how were they determined, what made them real within one’s own mind.

This is what I want to explore and get to, why am I insecure within certain parts of my life, in fact the most important parts of life.

When I look self –honestly at how and why I am insecure within certain parts of my life I can see the word comparison – for me to be insecure I had to have something outside of myself that influenced me which I then accepted and allowed obviously to be the influence, and then I used that comparison.
Lets take sport for example – I see hundreds of other kids doing sports, I now compare myself to how they are doing it and how I am doing it, within this I then create a comparison where I scale myself, either low medium or high, and if its in the low I will be insecure about the certain sport and doing it – thus make a decision to not do it, even if the point of the sport is for fun and not always winning. Thus limiting my life to what I can and can not do, and thus really making life decisions in that instance that effect my entire life just within the sporting region.

If I look at girls within my schooling years – how come I was insecure around girls and thus shy to ask them out or to just be with them, because there was always a few boys who seemed to dame comfortable – and they usually had money and things and status just by the family they come from, or it could be the other way around, a poor guy that has a lot of confidence because he has nothing to lose for example so he takes the chances.

So I had many instance to compare and to in the moment judge myself and to then decide within myself – am I going to be insecure or confident and do it.

I usually chose insecure at this age, later on it changed. But it changed in a deceptive way.

I will expand on the relationship point a bit more because it is such a big point in this world. I never went for the girls I liked – because I liked them from afar lol – and in my mind I always liked the pretty girls with a good status in school, suppose it’s like that for many. So in my mind the girl is everything I am not, because it’s all judgments and comparisons within my mind based on assumption, contact never happened.

So I will just spy and look and become a Intel guy, finding everything out I can about the girl, to compare myself even more and more, to make sure that what I fear is true, that she is too good for me. Deliberately creating the insecurity through, to use the insecurity to never act, I am just not confident, the other guys can do it, just look at them, they just know how to, the girls just like them naturally, I feel like I have to work for it and prove it, it isn’t naturally me as it seems like to be for the other guys.

So I create this entire mind job for myself, where all my Intel and information is literally just gathered from observation and then speaking to myself within my own mind – well that’s pretty stupid isnt it, because my own perspective on things is really limited, I can only give myself perspective as far as my own knowledge and information go, which is dame limited – yet that’s also not the point, why speculate and compare in one’s own mind when it would take five minutes to face reality and find out for real the facts – see that’s the point I feared.

Because reality isn’t just reality – it comes with me facing my internal reality as well, it comes with facing what’s happening within me while I am physically facing the point – like actually talking to the girl, so much back chat on what could happen, what if, should I or should I not, it is intense inside, yet if the internal shit did not exist I do see how it would be completely different, this is what I realized later on the other guys have already realized, but through their parents. Because each house hold is different a lot of boys already at a young age interacted with girls through social events, families and their friends, I never got that, yet this could have also just happened at the social event.
To be continued.

Day 473 - Insecurity and part of my story Part 1

I have been insecure all my life, people would not say that about me from observing me, in fact people would say I am the opposite, yet that is exactly why there are insecurities.

Let me explain: I started out my life as quite an alone child, not lonely, just alone, I grew up in a small town with a very low population, below a thousand. This meant there weren’t many children to play with or other people to interact with. So I learned to entertain myself and to be comfortable with myself and my expression being mostly alone with myself.

So after many years of establishing this relationship with myself of being a loner, and being confident being alone with myself, I now had another problem which only came up after I moved from the small town to a city, or to add the new perspective, the city had a problem with my behavior and my loner confidence, it was different and not really appealing to others.

In the city after thirteen years of growing up in a very quiet town with if memory serves me right, five other kids in the entire town that I could find in thirteen years’ time, all of different ages, I was suddenly surrounded by thousands of other people daily, the streets were packed with people, there were shops and malls and cars driving all the time, even at night one can hear the cars driving.

So I would start out in my new home with what I know best, to hit the streets with my bicycle and to explore the surrounding areas, I discovered that I was able to drive to shops and to malls, and just park my bicycle somewhere and go into the mall and walk around. This was exciting and new, I saw myself having twice as much as fun because of the amount of activities that are now available. But I did not consider a few points.

It seems that in the cities people roam around in groups, I would guess it is for protection, I would assume the protection is from other groups, I did not quite get it, because thus far all my life I have been roaming around all alone and never needed a group with me.

Sure the groups had fun together but that was a disguise – not by assumption from my side, but from experience, as I was driving my bicycle the first day around the new town/city, I was stopped twice by groups of kids. The first group was three boys, slightly older than me on their own bicycles, they stopped me through ramming one of their bicycles into my front wheel, then the one boy asked me what are you going to do about it, I said sorry, he laughed and the other two said you better be sorry, and they circled me a few times with their bicycles as to prevent me from having mobility. They left and I started paddling the opposite way as I was unsure what they will do next if they still see me within their range.

The second time was on my way back home, as I stopped at a shop to get something to drink I encountered two other guys, I wanted to get onto my bicycle, but I was called out by one of the guys, as I looked back he asked me if I have something for him, I said no I just have this, and I continued to get onto my bicycle. I started moving faster as they did not leave me alone and kept behind me, and then one said, we will be waiting here for you till next time.

I got home and my first impression was, I am in danger here – I felt insecure suddenly, NOT save, not secure.

The point I want to make here is, the insecurity did not come from the guys that I encountered, it was already within me, because I have never dealt with such points or trained on dealing within such point or made aware that such point exist, it was all new to me, it was quite intense in some moments.

So at home I realized that for myself to survive living in this town/city I have to make some adjustment to myself – BUT what??

I realized on day one, the way I dressed was not the same as how the city kids dress, I dressed completely different – I dressed in a way that I was comfortable within and not within how I look, because in my old town, no one gave a shit and everyone just relaxed and dressed what is comfortable – so I have to change my dress code to fit in and not look like a “loser”.

Also the way the kids were sounding in speaking and how they spoke was completely different, they had no respect or common decency for one another, swearing left and right and using a “bad word with every third word they use, Fuck this Fuck that motherfucker, cunt, bitch etc etc, with each other never mind with me a stranger.

So I had to now practice using swearing words and how to incorporate them into my vocabulary and grammar.

Then the third and not last point, I needed to get a group, I need friends in this town to drive around with, otherwise I am a target for nasty people to have fun with, which at that moment seemed like every young kid, asking myself, what is the parents like then, because from my upbringing I assumed that the kids are the reflection of the parents and how they train us, does not matter if the kids are with or without the parents, it’s who you are.

So here I started my Journey of creating and sustaining insecurities that till today govern my live in certain aspects as I require to be insecure to consistently remind me of what I must watch out for and fear so that I can counter act the insecurities with an appropriate behavior that will make me feel secure and “seem secure.

But through my process with Desteni I have come to look at insecurities in a different way, see I made it all about changing my outer and my actions, instead of look at what has the moment that presented themselves to me like with the two groups of boys/men, that I had to change within me, inside of me with integrity and to stand.

Because changing my actions first from a fear point as insecurities I will have consequences that is fear, not a correction of equality and oneness that is in synchronicity with me and what is here as best for all including myself obviously that what best for all mean but including all as me.

The consequences of this is me trapping myself into a mind fuck for eternity never finding myself but always pretending and being something that is expected and what is energy bases, which in the long run drains one and makes one feel and be exhausted as it’s a front being kept up, because self-inside has never changed, the insecurity is and has always been there, never really been dealt with but just hidden.

So I am looking at it now where as insecurity is an opportunity, if we take the word insecurity we can see the following – IN SEE CURE – to see inside self in the moment of feeling insecure is also the cure for the moment – insecure is simply a moment where a weakness inside self in exposed, the weakness can be that the insecurity is a delusion/illusion or it’s a mind fuck or it is because of a point self hasn’t faced or walked through, but it is to SEE inside oneself what it is, self-honesty is required with common sense in the moment, rational thought that is based on the mathematical equation of one plus one equals two and to see the moment, how could the moment have been different and who one must be as someone that is living what is best for all, to stop this world from living in an insecure state of each other and to live secure among each other through each human being a self-honest and self-responsible person for through own thoughts and feelings and emotions and to not play the nasty bullshit out on each other where we leach on insecure people by creating insecure humans.

This is not done – to be continued, On the story and the insights.

SA Pupils Terrified – Bullying - Day 275

One of the articles in the Mercury newspaper of January 28, 2012 is about Bullying in schools that is increasing.

The bullying is increasing – “MORE than Half the children interviewed in a recent survey on Bullying said hey Have experienced it at school and 40% wanted the police to protect them.” – The Mercury.

Where is the questions that isn’t asked or answered within the article, it is actually a very short article basically ONLY showing the bullying is increasing and how the research for this finding has been done, Yet such findings that is quite terrifying MUST get a lot more research and a whole page in the newspaper, as it is the children of our future that is now growing up as bullies or as the ones being bullied, and it is increasing.

Let’s keep it simple, ALL humans being start out as babies, babies does not come with any knowledge and information about the world they are entering, they do not have any concept of anything that is here.

So it is up to the people that they interact with the very first time and then for the next seven years of their lives to teach and show and educate the child “the way of Live’ this isn’t just done through telling the kid stuff, it is done through WHO we are and how we physically live and interact, because a child learns through everything they see/touch/smell/hear/taste.

There is a saying that it is never the advice you give your kids that will stick with them, it is how you applied the advice yourself that will.

It is like being a teenager and your father is having a chat with you – he says, Son don’t ever drink alcohol, it isn’t good for you and will make you do bad things, while the father has a beer in his hands – what will the child learn from that??

So here I gave some insight to what I am going to say.

Bullying always starts at how, it isn’t because the child is being abused physically at home, it isn’t just because of that reason to be more clear, it is daily living, it is everything involved within a child’s live, it is the environment, it is the people within the environment it is the outside forces such as Radio/Tv and all media, it is everything that is here that is influencing the child from the moment the child is born into this world, it is what we impulse the child with in every moment with everything that is here that the child will absorb and take on.

So Bullying is increasing and it is happening quite fast if I look at it, taking it from my school days. I did not consider having cops over yet, there was at least two fight a week, and there was the regular bully in school that everyone knew.

But now it is more than half of the pupils being interviewed that say they have experienced bullying.

This isn’t a coincidence when we look at the whole picture and what is going on in the world, the world in itself is negative, we have created a world of negativity while we constantly portray positivity and that love and hope is the answer to making things better, yet things are getting worse, kids are seeing this and they are experiencing a sense of powerlessness, they are experiencing poverty within themselves, because our kids are going to school in the hope and positive attitude of that they can have a positive future, while the reality around them is already giving them only negative feedback, the economy is falling, people are losing jobs left and right, new qualified students can’t find jobs, and maybe in the households of many of the bullies there is a parent with no job, or money is always low or there isn’t any money or even just the fake promise of a better tomorrow is creating children living in constant fear and anxiety of the truth they are faced with everyday of what is really around them. and this is all the things that will come out in forms of violence, in a form of re-gaining a sense of some control or some safety.

This is applicable to rich and poor and middle class children, because it does not matter which class you are in now, in terms of money, we all belong to the same economy, we are all bound and enslaved to the same money that buys us food and water and cloths and shelter and safety, and if this economy isn’t working or failing, it effects everyone.

This is one perspective on why bullying will and has been increasing; stress is a major form/cause of bullying.

So we can also look at family issues that cause bullying, where parents fight and divorce and where the children are shouted at or even beaten and slapped or just being used or even where children are spoiled can cause a sense of power to abuse/bully and this is also related to money, where there is in general inequality of money , it is also all outflows from something else, we can say something greater, and we call it money, why would parents be fighting? Most fight is usually about money – since more than 50 percent of South Africans are jobless and then the rest as just making it or have minimum wages or just in the middle class and then some rich, usually the rich has more then enough and this also creates a form of bullying as the rich feel entitled to do so by status, we can only see the obvious problem is money.

there is the occasional family that will have fights that is more personal towards each other then we can say they have enough money still to indulge in luxury fight/arguments as I call it.

The entire point I am bringing in here is that The whole and entire state of the world as a whole and where the world that is driven everywhere by the same thing called money is going to the exact same thing/point and that is a economic disaster leaving a fearful and bleak future for all the children, this is why it is showing in the children, because there isn’t really a future, those of us that still see a future we are fortunate to have some good money still, but it won’t last long.

As Long as we do not tackle the problem at a worldwide level where the we create a world that is best for ALL LIFE that will ensure a bright future for each and every child born into this world, where we can say to our children we love them with actual real proof that can be backed up through the world we give them to live in where we ensure their lives are secure from birth till death, Bullying and violence will constantly increase and we will have a generation of children that has no respect for anyone that has gone before them, because look at the world we bring and accept and allow them to grow up in.

So why do we “adults” deserve respect, we don’t currently, we are destroying our children’s forests, we are killing their only planet and yet we bring them here and tell them we love them and raise them and then we just throw them in and say swim and hope you don’t drown.

We are creating the bullies in every aspect of what we have accepted and allowed to be created/exist here as our world system for them to grow up in, we are creating generations that will not think twice of killing/fighting and living as the beings we are creating them as the world.

We are looking at the children being the problem, but we are not looking at who created the perfect environment for such a problem to exist, it is US the current adults that created this world through our direct and in direct participation the way it is, we are the bullies bullying the children into a world of evil, a world of disasters and murder and rape and poverty and WAR and misery and abuse and where it is possible to die of hunger or from the cold outside or from dehydration simple through where we are born, while we promote and lie to them about happiness and love and positivity to make it all seem okay.

Yet it isn’t okay at all, we need to take self responsibility for this problem, and the only way we can ever redeem ourselves and get self respect and honor - is through directly taking on the problem and admitting our failed responsibility of creating a heaven for our children BEFORE we ever brought them into this live/world as true love where all live is equal and in harmony and where there is no fear/survival, and to give up our pride and our desired and hopes and to take action through supporting a new way of live and to create it.

This is where I come in with the solution, it is to remove the problem of bullying at the root cause, removing the cause/effect as the roots as the current Monetary system, and replace it with a new monetary system that is best for all life and not based on profit and greed and self interest, but where all humans get a certified life from birth till death and remove fear/survival from the equation.

This is the Equal Money Capitalism System proposal.

I have given only a few dimensions to the entire point, further self investigation is required at the links to follow in this blog.

Support us at Equal Money System website here - Support EMS

To get full view of what is proposed here check out the links below.

Day 162: EQUAL MONEY CAPITALISM - The Way Forward
Day 163: Equal Money Capitalism - Redefining Profit
Day 164: Equal Money Capitalism - Preparing the Road for Change
Day 165: Equal Profit Share and Equal Money Capitalism
Day 166: Corporate Social Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
Day 167: Harmony and Equilibrium within Equal Money Capitalism
Day 168: The Future of Integrity with Equal Money Capitalism
Day 169: Equal Living within Equal Money Capitalism
Day 170: Companies and Industries in EMC
Day 171: LIfe-Force and Expression in Equal Money Capitalism
Day 172: Retirement and Holidays within Equal Money Capitalism
Day 173: Supply, Demand, Business and Scarcity in Equal Money Capitalism Day 174: Loyalty to Life in Equal Money Capitalism

Day 175: The Economic Problem and Equal Money Capitalism

Day 176: Will the Elite Manipulate the Public to Push for Privatization in EMC?

Day 177: Will there still be Retrenchment in Equal Money Capitalism?

Day 178: Zuma says to benefactors: "Everything you touch will multiply" - EMC will End Corruption

Day 179: Resource-ism, not racism, lies behind SA's race talk

Day 180: The Word 'Capitalism' in 'Equal Money Capitalism'

Day 181: Applied Equality in Equal Money Capitalism

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 33 - The control Bully.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control my fear and reactions instead of dealing with who I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as contained fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contain the fear with in me as a way of control, within the believe that as long as I am able to control my contained fear that I am in control, realizing that the fear is in control and thus have side effects such as bullying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take all the fear that I allow within myself and to bottle it up within myself from the believe that fear is wrong and bad and that I am weak if I show fear - realizing that within the attempt to control the fear within me I am as Who I accept and allow myself to be and to try and control life outside of me within ever moment, realizing this causes me  to live within fear and anticipation and thus I live with in constant reactions and abusive behavioral patterns that is a side effect from holding in fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe i can control reality and all situations/scenarios - realizing that through time in the past it has been proven and shown to me that I can not control all of reality and that which is outside of me, but that I can only decide outcomes as who I am within situations/scenarios coming up/happening and to accordingly act with in the best interest of all life as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as mind control over myself with in containing fear and play outs on reality - realizing that with in existing as a controlled self I am not allowing myself to deal with points such as fear effectively and thus suppress the point with in control and so create my own limitations and reactions in life as I project and anticipate the contained fear with in me manifesting with outside of me, which leads to external release points such as bullying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of control with in me as a reason/justification for reacting and getting angry when I see other beings aren't controlling themselves as I do, as this is a jealousy point because I see that my fear that I am controlling isn't real and thus I fear the fear isn't real and so want to get angry and impose my fear onto others so that I may feel save and right and in control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose my point of self contained fear of life within and as control onto other life forms/beings either through physical abuse or emotional abuse as to feel things are fair, giving reason for why other must fear and feel the same as me even if it isn't real and thus feeling in control, realizing this isn't best for all life or self at all - as what I am imposing onto life as my own control through my actions is creating fear with in other life forms/beings and thus more danger for myself and others and actually creating my own fear through my fear.

I commit myself to breath and to check myself and to see if I am in a manifested pattern of abuse such as imposing my control onto other life/beings though my own fears and insecurities, and to stop through writing and applying self forgiveness and to live the correction as to stop the mind created control and to remain here with in and as the physical with in what is practical and common sense as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I commit myself to take self responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed to exist within me as my own fears and to not suppress them or judge them, to walk the points with in writing, self forgiveness and to release myself from the bottled up fears and to stop manifesting a world in fear through control.