Day 88 - Anger and Me – fairness Game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry, to be angry at others when I am actually only angry at myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I am expecting things from others and they do not do it and I have to check up on them the whole time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at others when they are not doing what is expected of them as agreed on, seeing that the anger is based on the fairness point of why am only I doing what we agreed on and they are not as back chat.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the anger is based on self interest of fairness as who is doing what and who isnt, and thus the anger is not real and only a possession of energy within me that I now project and blame others for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others when I am angry, realizing that I am creating the anger within me through participating in the thoughts that then create back chat as conversations in my mind of fairness, thus showing me that Who I Am standing as is yet not clear as it is still within self interest within the fairness point instead of standing as that which is best for all life as me being the example in my living application in each breathe with no thoughts no back chat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the anger I experience within em as a energetic experience of emotions onto others as if they are doing it to me, realizing that what I experience within me can only come from me and thus I must investigate the anger as self dishonesty/compromise and look at the motivations behind getting angry.

I forgive myself that I get angry when I try and attempt to control people /situations, realizing that it is only me acting in the emotion of feeling powerless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use anger to fight for me as a character towards others to get my way just so that I can feel things are fair, realizing that it is a anger of self interest and how I feel, and not how things actually in fact work within this reality as the physical, ad that it is not about what others do or what I do but who I am that determines what I do – revealing that what I do that only makes me angry isn’t effective and still within self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I “feel” things aren't fair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and get possessed by energy as emotions of feeling powerless when I Feel things aren't fair towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the point of fairness be a reason and a justification to why I do certain things and why not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I continue to use fairness as a point of why I am doing things and why I am not doing things that I will never change as the process of rebirth is all about who I am and that determines what I do, thus if who I am is best for all life as a living expression in and as the physical then I will move as breathe unconditionally and not “think” , look, or have back chat about what others are doing as that is still MIND as the enslavement to CONciousness where self only play games as characters.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I will live a life of anger till death if I do not work through this point of fairness in my living application daily and to stop looking at what others do and try and be the police man that fills up with rage till it boils over as no one is being “fair” according to my definition of fairness and so all hell breaks loose and then it is to late for me and no change is possible as I trap myself in my own game of fairness with anger.

To be continued....

Day 87 – Deliberate self Dishonesty Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself deliberately through knowing/understanding what I have to physically do and apply within my life to bring About real change and to not do it, realizing that this is exactly how the world exist as now, where we all can see what is happening on earth, as we are destroying earth in-front of our very eyes, and where we can see we are the ones within our actions doing it and yet not stopping, not changing, realizing that I have to step up as the example that change is possible with myself through living the corrective application of actually correcting myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that WHO I am determines what I do and what I do as who I am determine life here on earth for all, realizing that I must put my words into living application as that which is best for all life in all ways to create a world that is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create thoughts from memories as characters that I act and play out that determines who I am within what I do and so give living power to thoughts that is not best for all life in all ways and  to act upon them as self honesty, instead of moving myself in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self dishonest with myself when I know better and to not apply what I know and to only keep it as knowledge and information as if it is enough.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the physical evidence of the way I live is clearly showing me that it is not best for all life and thus not best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as only knowledge and information, thus existing within the mind as the mind consciousness system that only serves itself to fulfill a energy experience and not the physical as that which is real in the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to thoughts as real and that I can follow them, understanding and seeing that my life and the world is the result of following the mind and thoughts and that life currently on earth is a hell for all, thus showing that thoughts and the mind as self dishonesty as knowledge and information not applied that is best for all life is creating hell on earth as my self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and show finger to the world as the problem when I myself have not even live my own knowledge and information practically as that which is best for all life in all ways. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that who I am and how I live is one and equal to any other human and that all humans as a whole together decide what happens to earth and how we experience ourselves on earth and thus I am part of all decision in all moments in each breathe equally with all and thus I realize equally responsible for everything existing on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self dishonest and to not live the correction as my own decision in each breathe – realizing that this is what the Desteni process is all about and why I joined it, thus it is not to fear the change but to embrace it as I see the common sense and the actuality of it and that practically applying myself is the solution for what is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself giving into thoughts that is not real and not based o  the physical as space and time and what actually is possible for me to do, to stop and breathe and to move myself within and as the physical in each moment as real time as the breath

I commit myself to when and as I see myself making things more in my head then what they are in the physical to stop and breathe and to walk in the physical as the corrective application as that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see A point is here where I know I must do it even if there is resistance and back chat and thoughts and emotions or feeling – to not give value to the mind as thoughts feeling and emotions and to instead deliberately be self honest and walk the correction in and as breathe and to show to myself that the mind as me was only trying to fuck me over for a energetic experience that is only momentary.

Day 86 – deliberate self dishonety Part 1.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and hide my inner world from myself to pretend in character that I am fine, I have no problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character a face that hides what is going on inside of me just so that others may not see it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide what I know of myself as my current truth from myself through pretending and playing many characters and roles daily just not to face who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/exist as, as the mind as energy as feelings as emotions as thoughts that are within self interest and not what is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge emotions as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad when I have emotions, realizing that it is not to judge but to be self honest within what I am experiencing and to look is what I am experiencing real or not is it what is best for all life or not, and to take self responsibility for what I experience and allow to influence my life and so all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge feelings as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge having feelings as bad, realizing that it is not to judge but to be self honest within what I am experiencing and to look is what I am experiencing real or not, is it what is vest for all life in all ways or not, and to take self responsibility for what I experience and allow to influence my life and so all life one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am a bad person for what goes on within me, realizing that I am only compromising myself to face the point and letting go and to rebirth myself as life as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being exposed as bad, realizing that as long as I judge myself as bad in life, in the things I am capable of doing and not that I will always remain within my own judgment and thus live it as that and that I am responsible for myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can stop what I experience in breathe, as breathe is real as the physical as the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide all that I experience from myself and also to hope to hide what I experience within me from others to not be questioned what goes on in my inner reality as I know that once I have to admit what I accept and allow to exist within my world is not necessary and that I am dishonest with myself within change and applying myself, and thus I try and hide to not to have to face what I already know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create many/multiple characters that smile and wave and that play a role during the day that pretend everything will just go away just not to face myself, my inner reality that is not equal and one with the real reality as the physical as my body the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on, to create many characters for myself that I act within and play out in certain roles just to not to have to face the actual reality as the mess that I have created for myself and the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking as no character as this will reveal to me what has always been here as the physical as reality and that I must take self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide in self dishonesty within putting on many characters during my days as if I am fine, I am good, I am working on myself face, yet knowing I know what I must work and yet do not do it, creating many excuses to why and how, thus I play the many characters because I know when I am questioned I will only face myself and what I am doing that I know I should not be doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play characters everyday as if I am fine, I am fucking amazing, I am so busy, I can not get to everything, I am doing my best, yet I know when I have the time and the money I do not what I know I must do, and thus I pretend so that I do not have to show my evil actions of being deliberate in what I am not doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deliberately dishonest with myself and life within my application in doing what is best for all life though making deliberate decisions to not do certain things in my life.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that what I hide as the fear within me to be exposed, it that created of being deliberately dishonest within my life, where I know I am not applying myself and yet not doing anything, knowing my weaknesses and not strengthening them for what is best for all life, knowing what I must do and how and yet I do not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create deliberate consequences that I know will come and that I can see how I am creating them within my life and all life and yet I deliberately decide to not change and not do it, or do anything about it, knowing it will take time patience and consistency and yet not starting, not applying, and thus sabotaging myself completely.

To be continued.

Day 85 – Personal Army of Characters – Loser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on a character of being a loser when I have lost/lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a role of myself in my life where I play out a character that is a loser in everyone else eyes, realizing that it is an illusion and only self abusive to live my life in such a way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful towards others because I have judged myself within my own mind as being a loser according to what they aid or that I have lost and to then live my life as if I am a loser just to try and spite them to show them what they have done to me, realizing that I only did it to myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I feel like a loser and that I have accepted myself as a loser to judge myself and the world in such a way that I always make everything and everyone look dummer than myself just to feel better about myself, realizing that only I am the one constantly telling myself in my head I am a loser. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a loser when I did not win in something/or win something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a loser and thus through this create a character for myself that act as a loser.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I feel and act like a loser that I am simply playing a character as a role that I belief I must play in the event of losing according to what others judge as a loser.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a loser and that I do not have the right to win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear winning as I have already created a character for myself of a loser and thus I feel and belief that I can not break character and thus must remain in character as the loser. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a character that is a loser and that isnt allowed to win as this will be seen as unacceptable in my won eyes and that of others, realizing that I am only limiting myself playing this role in society that isnt necessary and that I can decide to change. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear breaking the loser character and to be a winner within that which is best for all life, and to be certain and to know that I will this time in my life be a winner for life one and equal and stand up and do what is best for all life in all ways as I will prove this to myself in my living application, and to stop the loser character that I have familiarized myself with myself and others. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be a winner for what is best for all life in all ways and to proud of it as a winner should be that is living a life and changing self to that which is best for all life and to birth self as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a loser.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through my past where I have lost or feel like I have lost to identify myself as that and to within that create an actual character for myself as a loser that i will play out as who I am as my personality and accordingly create my life and act in behave and talk in certain ways to keep the loser character as the loser character is designed to keep me save and in place to not to have to face more losing events in life, realizing that win or lose as long as what I do is always within the best interest of life, I am winning for all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that only I can accept and allow myself to be a loser as I am the one that decides always.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that winners need losers to be winners and losers needs winners to be losers and thus both are equally fucked and thus the only lose and win can be either doing what is best for all life in all ways as winning as all life wins together, and losing as doing what is only within self interest as the characters playing delusional roles in the mind that will consequentially be the lost of all.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that that as long as I accept myself as a loser, as a nobody that can not do anything that I will remain as that, and thus it is me who has to stand up and change as Life though a process of rebirth with Desteni ad the Desteni I process and to support life in all ways as I re create myself as life as the winning solution for all and sp the world as myself, where no losers or winners as characters can exist that only causes harm to life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into thoughts of I am a loser I can not win, I can not do this, I am not good enough, to stop and breathe and realize that I am playing a character that is designed by me through memories and past experiences to keep me limited and to not face the points within my life within me that I know will be tough and that I have to push through and thus.

I commit myself to stop and breathe and walk and to be here in and as the physical as the real character as the flesh body and to walk and live that which is best for all life in all ways as a real winner through writing and self forgiveness and establishing an equal money system and to do what ever is required. 

Day 84 – My Personal Army of Characters – Mean character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mean towards someone or something just because I feel they are being stupid.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean character that blames and gives fault to others when I know I am the broken one. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean character that chases other people away or other living beings just so that I do not have to face myself as a broken character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mean character that will step in and take action when I feel I am being attacked or personally invaded to defend what I a hiding within myself as a broken character.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I have created an army of characters to defend a character that is hiding from facing myself as being broken and not whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attack others when they are pushing the right buttons where the weak/broken character is revealed and so the mean character steps in to avoid and defend the weak point. Thus accepting and allowing the weakness to remain and thus the character.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the mean character requires the weak and broken character to exist as it gives the mean character purpose and energy to exist, realizing that as long as I give into the mean character to defend my self interest and weak points I can never grow and strengthen my weaknesses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mean to other people just to make them seem like the problem, when it is obvious to myself that I am the problem as I reacted and had to use a mean character to handle the situation instead of me self honestly facing the point in breathe as change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as the mean character give power to the mean character to play out in my life where I as the character keep myself enslaved to beliefs of myself as being weak or broken and thus never changing for what is best for all life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I am mean I am acting in the moment in character as a response to defend something within me and that it has nothing to do with the other person, and thus I only create more regret and shame for myself as I was playing a role within my mind as a fake character that does not consider LIFE or other beings. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the role of the character of meanness within ignorance to what is behind the role and the character and not considering the physical play-outs of such character that is only defending self interest and not standing as what is best for all life in all ways. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I am the creator of such character that will go to war to protect it’s self interest for no real good reason but a experience of self based on judgments of self and opinions that self has accepted and allowed to influence self, and thus it is to take self responsibility for myself within self honesty as that which is best for all life in all ways. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing a role and not breathing and and as the physical, to stop and breathe and to direct myself as what is best for all life in all ways and let no self interest come out and play as it isn't real.

I commit myself to write and explore this point of playing roles and multiple characters of illusions and to take it apart as the creator of it. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing a character to remind myself it isnt real and I can simply stop and breathe and realize what is real here in and as the physical one and equal as me.