Day 128 – Living a commitment - Breathe

Ok so I was about to do my Commitment statements on the previous blogs I did on Being skinny – The Machine Within, and as I started writing the commitments I stopped, I red the one commitment I did and I asked myself – did I write this commitment as Myself in fact where I will live this commitment. Then the next question came up – Have I live even one commitment I wrote in all the blogs?

Self honestly I haven't lived on commitment, I have only written them and placed them in blogs, I realize I had to do this to come to this point of realizing I have to physically live what I commit myself to. 

Then the next question came to me – What does it mean to commit myself to something. Now realizing that I have been in this process for four years and I have been doing what I am doing for a long time, I should by now know what commitment is and LIVING it physically in fact.

Then Came the next point after the self investigation – I looked at what I have committed myself to the most in my written words – the words I have written the most was – I commit myself to when and as I see myself...... and then it ends with to breathe and be here.

Now came the real test, where I could not ignore this point and postpone it for later – I had to ask myself once again – Have I ever gone ONE day where I live this commitment to the fullest of simply BREATHING – as living my commitment in fact – NO I haven't, I told myself, well you know it is a process, it takes time, then I realized it is a simple commitment – and this means that once I commit I LIVE, as simple as that.

So here I am going to take myself on – I am going to be strict with myself and my words and what I write.

Thus I am going to for the next 21 Days and beyond, do Self forgiveness on the one commitment – the commitment to “breathe and be here” and to ACTUALLY within the 21 days willingly breathe as a commitment to live one commitment I committed myself to. To keep myself to my own words and live it. 

Because this is a PATTERN – where I commit and forget and commit and forget and commit and forget and so it goes on. 

I can not recall one commitment I have made from previous blogs, because I never lived it in fact, I never integrated it as the flesh as who I am as the living words I am.

Here I am taking on one commitment and applying Self forgiveness on the point. Breaking the pattern, because this is not just in relation to blogging and so forth and my process since I have been participating with Desteni – this pattern has played out all my life in everything I do, never finishing a book I started, not finishing school, not finishing a video game I started, not finishing any relationship, I always only made these awesome statements in my life and never lived it. 

So here I start with the basic Commitment on Breathing in awareness – the foundation for myself as Breathe. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living one commitment for real daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living one commitment as myself daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of “seeing myself already failing, standing outside tomorrow morning after waking up already forgotten the commitment to life and to just continue as thoughts”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to already judge myself as a failure due to past/memories of where I stated I am going to do something and never did and completely forgot and in the end feel even worse and more like a failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disbelief in myself through self judgement of past memories/experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this a competition, realizing I am only competing with my mind that is energy and not real, and thus I see and realize as breathe I am here doing this for myself as an actual self movement that is not part of my pre-programmed life and thus I have to be deliberate and self moving and be strict with myself for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on “hope”, Hoping that tomorrow I will do it, realizing that it is a self movement where I have to in fact move myself and LIVE it and DO it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and judge myself as incapable of moving myself constantly in breathe all day in awareness of myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that if I have to commit myself to breathe all day in awareness tomorrow that it will compromise my life and I will move slow and not get anywhere with doing things, realizing this is the mind moving and giving all and the best excuses it can to not go there where the mind can not exist in breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others will think of me when I suddenly tomorrow change in my movement and behavior as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create ideas within my mind as to what it means to live in and as breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and be in the mind as fear, fear of losing the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the mind as the mind is all that I have ever known and lived as, and thus I see and realize that I have created and manifested my live according to the mind and thus I see and realize that as I move as the breathe the mind created reality will slow down and I will not be able to sustain the mind reality I manifested for myself as patterns/characters and thus I see and realize why the mind fears moving as breathe as the physical.

To be Continued.

Day 97 – Moving myself moving the world. Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see I have to “stand UP and Move myself’ to go into the though of “seeing myself doing it later anyway” and so have the back chat of – ‘ I can sit a bit longer, I will get to it later anyways” – “ there is still a lot of time for me to move myself I may sit a little bit more” and to then go into the energetic experience of feeling relaxed and content with myself when in fact it is me justifying laziness and the judgment of me having to move myself, thus I see and realize that as I participate within the thought of when I Know/realize I have to start moving myself that I am compromising me as who I am as the living expression of life as doing what is best for all life in all ways and to then once I have given the thoughts/back-chat permission to define who I am and what I do to trap myself in the energetic experience I deceived myself with as being okay – and to then later on run out of time and not having enough time to do all the things/responsibilities I have to do, and so go into more thoughts and back catch to justify it as being okay and that tomorrow is another day – not seeing and realizing that if/when I do not move myself when I know I have to and leave things to compound and get more for the next day I will literally trap myself within the overwhelming of things to do that I deliberately created myself, as I realize within the common sense that if I do not what needs to be done today that it will not remain the same amount of stuff to do the next day, it will be today's stuff and tomorrows stuff all together.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I create and manifest my own consequences though participating in just ONE thought that leads to many outflows that I accept and allow deliberate, realizing that nothing happens by coincidence or by being someone else fault. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on the character of me not moving myself as a reason/justification of I deserve to rest, this is my treat, I will treat myself to rest just a bit more and then my treat for tomorrow will be to suffer and give up more and to have to much shit to do, lol realizing that my treat in fact will be to do everything in the time given to me till it is done and to then, the time that is left to use it to rest or watch a movie, and this way to practically distribute my time with no thoughts/back-chat involved, only the consideration of the physical reality that is best for all life and where no thoughts is thus needed as it is a physical decision mathematically calculated as 1+1=2.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see/realize that I must get up within myself and move myself” to distract myself with other things around me such as quickly getting something to drink while I am not thirsty but only for the idea and to then tell myself I will just finish this cup and then go do what needs to be done, not realizing that I do not know what will happen or how things will change from this moment till the next, and thus quickly drinking something just for the sake of giving myself more time within a “reason” to not do anything yet that I will within accepting and allowing such pattern to play out and where I have given the character within the pattern permission to play its role of “avoiding what needs to be done as much as possible” that more things will suddenly pop up so inconveniently that I need to do, such as taking a pee and then to get something to chew on and then to just quickly get some fresh air outside and then just to quickly check what is on TV and  before I know, time has gone by and I never got to  what needs to be done, leaving me with regret and feeling as if I now have to rush and get things done, while I had all the time in the world but before instead chose to use it on doing nothing relevant – seeing and realizing that Who I am has not been a self commitment to myself as life as doing what is best for all life but instead still based on the mind as energy movement within and as how I feel/think, realizing that this is limiting me and enslaving me to the patterns and characters that I have created instead of setting myself free to be able to freely chose to do what is best for all life in all ways as who I ma as LIFE in all ways and through moving myself as actual real self directive deliberate decisions I make in each breathe as what is best for all life that I am deleting such characters and patterns and walking through the limitations and mind enslavement and to birth myself as life as self movement and to move myself as all that is here one and equal. 

To be continued.

Day 87 – Deliberate self Dishonesty Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself deliberately through knowing/understanding what I have to physically do and apply within my life to bring About real change and to not do it, realizing that this is exactly how the world exist as now, where we all can see what is happening on earth, as we are destroying earth in-front of our very eyes, and where we can see we are the ones within our actions doing it and yet not stopping, not changing, realizing that I have to step up as the example that change is possible with myself through living the corrective application of actually correcting myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that WHO I am determines what I do and what I do as who I am determine life here on earth for all, realizing that I must put my words into living application as that which is best for all life in all ways to create a world that is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create thoughts from memories as characters that I act and play out that determines who I am within what I do and so give living power to thoughts that is not best for all life in all ways and  to act upon them as self honesty, instead of moving myself in each breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self dishonest with myself when I know better and to not apply what I know and to only keep it as knowledge and information as if it is enough.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the physical evidence of the way I live is clearly showing me that it is not best for all life and thus not best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as only knowledge and information, thus existing within the mind as the mind consciousness system that only serves itself to fulfill a energy experience and not the physical as that which is real in the flesh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value to thoughts as real and that I can follow them, understanding and seeing that my life and the world is the result of following the mind and thoughts and that life currently on earth is a hell for all, thus showing that thoughts and the mind as self dishonesty as knowledge and information not applied that is best for all life is creating hell on earth as my self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and show finger to the world as the problem when I myself have not even live my own knowledge and information practically as that which is best for all life in all ways. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that who I am and how I live is one and equal to any other human and that all humans as a whole together decide what happens to earth and how we experience ourselves on earth and thus I am part of all decision in all moments in each breathe equally with all and thus I realize equally responsible for everything existing on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self dishonest and to not live the correction as my own decision in each breathe – realizing that this is what the Desteni process is all about and why I joined it, thus it is not to fear the change but to embrace it as I see the common sense and the actuality of it and that practically applying myself is the solution for what is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself giving into thoughts that is not real and not based o  the physical as space and time and what actually is possible for me to do, to stop and breathe and to move myself within and as the physical in each moment as real time as the breath

I commit myself to when and as I see myself making things more in my head then what they are in the physical to stop and breathe and to walk in the physical as the corrective application as that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see A point is here where I know I must do it even if there is resistance and back chat and thoughts and emotions or feeling – to not give value to the mind as thoughts feeling and emotions and to instead deliberately be self honest and walk the correction in and as breathe and to show to myself that the mind as me was only trying to fuck me over for a energetic experience that is only momentary.