Day 90 – Anger and Me – Fairness Game Part 3. Commitments

I realize that when ans as I experience unfairness that it is a character that I have created to defend my personality as the mind based on certain beliefs/ideas/opinions/judgment I have accepted/allowed about myself.

I realize that when and as I experience feeling things are unfair that it is a character designed to play/act out on the beliefs/ideas/judgment/opinions I have about myself as self interest within my mind to defend my own created limitations.

I realize that when and as I experience things are unfair that I am only reacting within myself as I am facing my own self created limitations of myself that is based on past experiences as memories as self judgment/beliefs/ideas/opinions and that it is not Who I am within and as the physical but only my mind as energy as an illusion.

I realize that when and as I have any movement within me of fairness/unfairness that it is a character playing out defending my own self created limitations and that is defending the limitations to keep me limited and to not break through the mind barrier that is keeping me enslaved in the cycles of energy.

I realize that when and as I experience unfairness/fairness that it is an experience of the past as a memory, and that what I am experiencing is in fact only a memory as another character of the past and that it is not real within what is actually in fact happening in real time in and as the physical.

I realize that when and as I experience fairness/unfairness that it is a decision I make within me to experience.

I realize that when and as I experience fairness/unfairness that it is a experience that I already decided beforehand before the event happened based on my back chat/comparisons within my reality to have, realizing that I deliberate created the experience for myself and how I am going to experience myself in the future in certain events.

Thus I realize that I am not living in the present as breathe but as the mind within and as memory as characters that only exist to defend the past, never allowing me to change and to birth myself as life, as the characters only want to keep the energy experience they gain from the anger/self righteousness and the fairness and unfairness. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself experiencing unfairness to stop and to breathe and to realize that what I am experiencing as unfair is but only an idea/belief/perception/opinion/judgment of myself and that it is not in fact so and that I can stop and re-birth myself in the breath as a new to live differently as that which is best for all life.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a mindset of back chat about fairness and unfairness that generates anger within me, to stop and realize that I am literally creating the anger within myself by myself through thinking and gossiping about fairness/unfairness within my mind, and to stop and breathe and move myself within and as the physical, as that which is best for all life. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself react when someone asks me to do something for them to stop and to breathe and to look within myself and why I am reacting, to realize that the reaction is only within my mind within me, thus it is indicating to me that I have participated in back chat as the mind within comparison within my world within self interest, only defending my own limitations.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself participating within the emotion of feeling that things in my world is unfair, to stop and breathe and to realize that it isnt helping me or changing what I am doing at all, and to realize that it is in fact only compromising me and creating an experience for myself that is not enjoyable.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself participating within a experience of energy of fairness/unfairness to stop and to bring myself back to the physical experience as breathe as that which is real and to not give into the thoughts/back chat that I create and to move4 myself within and as the physical as being fair myself to change and live what is best for all life and stop all self imposed limitations and enslavement as the mind/past/memories

Day 89 – Anger and Me – Fairness Game part 2.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek fairness within what I do and what is done towards me, instead of realizing that Who I am determines what I do, thus seeking fairness is showing me that I am an unfair person.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I seek fairness within what I do or what is done towards me I will always end up angry at myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a scenario within my day/life through always seeking fairness, that it is set up in such a way that there will always be unfairness and thus me being angry.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the fairness I seek and judge within my life is only based on MY Idea of fairness and not actual fairness in fact, as fairness can only exist once all has it equally on earth, until then fairness is to take self responsibility for those that can not because I have the opportunity and the ability, and thus it is only fair that I do what can be done till equality for all life exist in all ways, it simply is fair.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I see something as unfair and react and have a energy movement within me towards the “unfairness” based on my idea of fairness, that it will only be fair that I face the point of unfairness till I can stand in and as the physical one and equal as the creator with no limitation and enslavement of any energy/mind possession such as fairness and to simple be a living being as who I am as life one and equal as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that fairness is what I create within my mind as Ideas/beliefs/opinions towards things in my life, and that this is not based on the actual physical reality of how things work, and so I react and get angry when I feel reality isnt matching up with my mind as a alternate reality not one and equal as the physical. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I experience something not being fair and getting angry, that I am actually only reacting toward my own mind as I have already planned my future in my mind according to my “like” and “dislikes” and when the physical reality isnt moving according to my mind I experience unfairness – which isnt real but only me experiencing my own fuck up of participating in the mind instead of the actual world as the physical one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a “save” folder within my mind of all the things I have done during my day and to store all the things I have done during the day within this folder, and so when I see my folder looks full I cna say I did a lot, and as soon as I judge I already did a lot according to my save folder anything else that is asked of me seems unfair toward me, realizing that only I am aware of this unfairness as only I created it within my mind – thus it is proof that it isnt real, if the unfairness was real then everyone would have known it to be so without me having to convince anyone, as we all can see – what starving children is going through and people in poverty and all of NATURE – that is fucking unfair and they do not have to convince anyone, it is in our faces.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a folder within my mind of the future – where I look at what I have to do in the future such as in an hour, in a day or a week, and to then save and store all I still have to do within this folder and then judge it as being full, and that what I still have to do seems so unfair that I have to do all these things, and so when someone asks me something more to do, I react, I get angry, because I have already in my mind (not real) filled myself up with stuff to do making it seem a lot, not living in each breathe!! And to overwhelm myself with things that isnt here yet and then blame and feel like everything is unfair as soon as I am asked to do more. Realizing it isnt real, it is all compounded in my mind into one folder, yet when the time comes I will see I have more than enough time as in the physical things move a lot slower than in the mind and thus more time, yet it is to move as breathe and not time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the past and the future in a constant comparison of each other to see when things isnt fair, realizing that within this I am constantly making thing unfair for myself as I place the past and the future in the present and giving it power over what is here and actually possible for me to do and how to apply myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep and eye on people in my environment, to see what they are doing... and through this compare what they are doing with what I am doing, and within this I will deliberately make myself try and look better just not to be the unfair point, thus obviously making them the unfair point, and so live in a constant reaction towards all the people in my environment as a judgement of unfairness – not realizing that I made it all unfair though my deliberate actions to just not be the unfair point but not reacting towards everyone else as being the unfair point. 

To be continued.

Day 88 - Anger and Me – fairness Game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry, to be angry at others when I am actually only angry at myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I am expecting things from others and they do not do it and I have to check up on them the whole time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at others when they are not doing what is expected of them as agreed on, seeing that the anger is based on the fairness point of why am only I doing what we agreed on and they are not as back chat.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the anger is based on self interest of fairness as who is doing what and who isnt, and thus the anger is not real and only a possession of energy within me that I now project and blame others for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others when I am angry, realizing that I am creating the anger within me through participating in the thoughts that then create back chat as conversations in my mind of fairness, thus showing me that Who I Am standing as is yet not clear as it is still within self interest within the fairness point instead of standing as that which is best for all life as me being the example in my living application in each breathe with no thoughts no back chat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project the anger I experience within em as a energetic experience of emotions onto others as if they are doing it to me, realizing that what I experience within me can only come from me and thus I must investigate the anger as self dishonesty/compromise and look at the motivations behind getting angry.

I forgive myself that I get angry when I try and attempt to control people /situations, realizing that it is only me acting in the emotion of feeling powerless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use anger to fight for me as a character towards others to get my way just so that I can feel things are fair, realizing that it is a anger of self interest and how I feel, and not how things actually in fact work within this reality as the physical, ad that it is not about what others do or what I do but who I am that determines what I do – revealing that what I do that only makes me angry isn’t effective and still within self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I “feel” things aren't fair.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and get possessed by energy as emotions of feeling powerless when I Feel things aren't fair towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the point of fairness be a reason and a justification to why I do certain things and why not.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I continue to use fairness as a point of why I am doing things and why I am not doing things that I will never change as the process of rebirth is all about who I am and that determines what I do, thus if who I am is best for all life as a living expression in and as the physical then I will move as breathe unconditionally and not “think” , look, or have back chat about what others are doing as that is still MIND as the enslavement to CONciousness where self only play games as characters.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I will live a life of anger till death if I do not work through this point of fairness in my living application daily and to stop looking at what others do and try and be the police man that fills up with rage till it boils over as no one is being “fair” according to my definition of fairness and so all hell breaks loose and then it is to late for me and no change is possible as I trap myself in my own game of fairness with anger.

To be continued....