Day 649 – Are you TRAPPED, Feeling Trapped?

We can only be trapped, or experience ourselves as trapped existing as the mind, as consciousness.

In this exercise of writing self-forgiveness within the point of releasing self from any form of entrapment as the mind as consciousness as energy, one must write self-forgiveness unconditionally. This means one must not only write about the points that one deep as appropriate, but also the inappropriate - the points that one can easily judge as "this isn't the point" or "I am just making this up now" - this is to ensure that you leave nothing to the mind, not hidden corners. If there is a resistance, or reaction to writing any specific point that comes up - Write it.Let me begin the challenge.

Note: I always have a one lite bottle of water with me to drink as I do self-forgiveness - a recommendation by Bernard Poolman.

Ok, so I will begin with the "trapped" point by taking my reality and taking all the possible points within my reality and unconditionally apply Self forgiveness on each point within this point.

I forgive myself tht I have accepted and allowed the experience of feeling trapped within me in relation to my reality, surroundings, the world system and life in general.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the experience of being trapped to exist within me towards my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I am trapped in my body and the genetic coding of my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and  allowed myself to believe that I am trapped in my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am trapped within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am in a trap and that someone trapped me and that I am a victim.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this world for setting up a trap called the "system" and for me to be trapped within this system, and so take a position of a victim within this world through my experience of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate and blame money and to see money as a Trap that fools everyone including me to fall for the trap and so take on a position of being a victim and that i can not help myself not anyone else, as we are all simply trapped victims.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see myself in relation to this world, system and life, to have a picture of an animals that is lame and trapped in the middle of the forest as that which represent my experience of who I am in relation to everything and everyone within this world, and so always being at a disadvantage within myself, a self pity position, waiting for a savior to save me out of this trap called life, not seeing and realizing that I take this position purely based on an experience and not reality as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within me hold onto the OUTLOOK of my life as all and everything being the result of me being a vicim of life and so trapped within my life and what i am faced with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the experience and view point of me being stuck in a trap called life, and my life, and the setup y life is within.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that this experience is running at a resonant level all the time within who I am, how I am, where i am, why i am and so all of me in my behaviors and actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within the financial position I am within, in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within all my responsibilities that i must do daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped in my daily routine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped in the house I live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped in my own skin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am trapped in the responsibility of being a Husband/partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within the responsibility of being a father/guardian to my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within the gifts that I have and thus responsibilities that come with my gifts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within the very room I am in, within the circumstances my room is within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and believe I am trapped within the relationships as the people I must work with daily, interact with daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped with the animals i must care for daily, look after daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that i am trapped with the people that I depend on to support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within the level of education I have received.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am trapped within the country I was born into and so all the politics, economics and all the cultures and religions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that i am trapped within what foods and nutrition is available to me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I am a VICTIM and trapped within everything that exist within this life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that i am trapped within the very design of having to breath air and needing air to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view and see my very body as a trap for my being/soul and so walk with that experience of and as a trapped being in a body and live that trappedness in everything and all things as a starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to HOLD the POINT of VIEW of being trapped and thus being a victim within me as my LIFE and as the design of life, and so always live and walk and breath thee experience of being trapped and thus taking on life, approaching life from the experience of I am trapped, I am a victim, what is the point of anything.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view life as a trap, as a prison, even when it was designed and intended that way by ANU, who I am and thus how I live isn't defined by that, I am not defined by that, I define me as life and life, such as a tree that grows through the cracks of concrete, defines itself.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to USE the view point of everything is TRAPPING me to escape self-responsibility, to escape this reality, and so truly imprisoning myself within my mind where I am unable to move, direct or do anything except to become a vegetable.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to USE the experience of being trapped within all things and thus to be a victim of all things, to avoid taking self-responsibility as LIFE as a creator, and so to also justify my current actions, my current habits and patterns that does not serve me or all in the best possible way.

Day – 48 – bad boy continued.

This is a continuation of Day 47 – loving the bad boy

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when someone judges me as bad that it does not mean I am bad and therefore must now live as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I accept someone else calling me bad that I am actually not bad until I go out and do physical things in my life and create myself as bad deliberately within my actions, and thus it is not the other person to blame as I am clearly self responsible for my own actions.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the bad boy personality is just another personality that I have created myself through my own self judgments and insecurities.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I went out and started living differently within acting out in life against the system as being bad within spitefulness that I was actually only harming myself as I set myself on the path of self destruction, instead of realizing that the system is fucked up and the current limited way of life where society imposes good and bad onto people through their own self created believes and idea on what is good and bad instead of living what is best for all life and thus instead realizing that I must be self honest and change the god damn system to what is best for all life and to not accept and allow a system that is fear based and judgmental towards life as normal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the bad boy act/personality was part of my ticket to getting sex as I learned that girls like bad boys and so I pursuit in my journey of self destruction to fulfill one desire of obtaining sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that being a bad boy to spite others is actually me spiting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the bad boy live just happened to me, suppressing and denying all the actions I took within the physical as living and creating events situations to have certain experiences to upgrade myself to a bad boy as where I made it part of me, and thus it did not just happen to me, I am responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself believe I am a victim within who I am and become through my own actions that I take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within my actions as if I cannot stop myself as if I am forced to do the thing si do as the bad boy, realizing that I can simply stop and change as I am the one moving and directing myself to do the things I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to the excitement of being a bad boy, realizing that the energy as excitement that I get from doing the bad boy things will run out and that I will seek it like a drug addict seeking his next hit, and that this will lead to me doing more and more extreme things that would lead to consequences that will harm me and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the physical consequences I am creating for myself and others within trying to be a bad boy in spitefulness towards those tat has judged me as bad, realizing that I am only harming myself in spite of the evidence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to break down relationships in my world and hurting others through my actions as being a bad boy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a asshole as the ad boy act personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  gossip about other people and being nasty to them just to keep up the bad boy act as being better more and less limited as a self created believe based on the idea I have created about myself as being a bad ass, realizing I am only placing my judgments as gossip and my insecurities on others and projecting myself on them to hide my own shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a jerk towards my fellow humans and animals and plants in the name of being s spiteful shit through not taking self responsibility for myself and who I am, and giving away myself responsibility to accept and allow others to influence me as who i am and live it out in blame and self pity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately abuse girls as the excuse of I am a bad boy – you should have expected it from me, realizing that I am within this only creating more consequences for myself as I break people and relationship around me till I am all alone and fucked within this world, realizing I created it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my body through drinking and drugs and fighting and doing crazy stunts to show off in the name of being a bad boy, realizing the physical consequences has a high price and then the bad boy will be a useless bag of meat at a early age or older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in secret as a pretentious bad boy and to be a pretentious ass in front of others never finding out who I really am, as I decide who I am and not giving myself this chance through constantly feeding polarities on both ends missing myself completely.

I commit myself to look within my life where I access the bad boy personality and to see why, to write and to self forgive myself and to stop, to end the abuse caused within my world through spitefulness and blame and to take self responsibility as myself and to bring about a world that is best for all life and not what is based on stupid made up rules of right and wrong, but rather what is practical and best for all life (plants, animals, humans etc) and to stop the creation of mental unstable humans that has split personalities in secret and in front of others and create mental disorders that the medical industries and psychologist make billions off.

I commit myself to expose the current believes and rules of the world as it exist now as not being what is best for all life or any individual as it is based on fear and right and wrong and not what is best for all life as common sense but on stupid make believe ideas/opinions that is based on self interest and imprinted into the children and then play out as mental disorders where the child is constantly in a fight for what is write and what is wrong instead of real values and principles that is best for all life in all ways, thus establishing the equal money system is the path as the common sense system.