LIFE Has Failed Me.

Have you ever said to yourself "LIFE has failed me" and then feel all defeated and unable to change, like it is the end and it is all LIFE's decision, and now you have to learn a lesson and walk a process/journey, and you just have to take the beatings as they come, because LIFE has failed you, and so LIFE will also help you right? 

This is a misuse and a BIG miss for what is here on earth and how things work. First of all, LIFE has nothing to do with you failing, with your life going to shit, with you losing your income, with you failing and losing in your relationships. all that happenings is not because of LIFE. 

You see, we live in a SYSTEM. a human designed and constructed SYSTEM, this means we are all enslaved to this system, and this system has eradicated LIFE and build itself on top of LIFE sucking the LIFE out of life underneath it, and you are a cog in the wheel, you are a pawn in the system, and you are the things that is used in the system to help suck the life out of life to feed the system, and the moment you are not needed, as the system changes, you are spat out.  

When people are spat out, they blame LIFE and then they blame and shame themselves for failing, NEVER looking at the one thing that is actually causing HARM to all LIFE, which includes YOU, thus your family, your relationships, your mental health, your sanity, your humanity, the system is designed to TRAUMATIZE life into submission so that everyone cowers and fears the system to the point of obeying it till death in hope of the system favouring them. 

For the past few years since covid - we have seen the system squeezing out tens of millions of people out of its design and into more poverty, and we have not seen a real change or understanding coming from most people that it is a system design that fucks with everything, we make our problems seem so "natural" and just the way LIFE works, how things are, and thus we can blame LIFE and look away from the system, as that keeps most people safe who still have a job, and those who do not, well they just have to HOPE they can get back into the grinding machine called the system (NOT LIFE).

LIFE is HERE, and this is the key, it is the key to stand with LIFE as yourself one and equal, and to start changing this system to a system of LIFE, to root up the machine of self interest and to bring the life that is underneath it suffocating back to light. This will have to happen sooner than later as this system is squeezing harder and harder and many will fall into poverty and onto the streets, people you know or have known, it will come to each ones front door. 

Before it does come to your front door, you have an opportunity (not given by life) but still by the system of LUCK, as this system is a Casino, to do something, and TIME is not for you, as in any casino, the longer your play, you only LOSE, it is a deliberate design against you and your nature as a pre-programmed human in a pre-programmed system, that just like you, serves itself.

So, first of all one must start with changing your pre-programmed nature to not be grappled and brought down by the gambling against you and your LIFE, but to rather direct yourself within breathing to use the moment of luck you have to walk out of the casino and do something ELSE with that money to build a new and better/different system that support LIFE. (walking out of the casino is metaphorical, as this walking out within this system means within YOU, not physically). 

The point is, people must use their words towards themselves better, for example, saying LIFE has failed me is imprinting and enhancing the delusion that the SYSTEM we live in is LIFE, which it is NOT. and within this when we enhance and imprint that idea more and more, the more we do NOT stand up to the system and actually bring LIFE forwards, we in fact start seeing the system that is here as NATURAL (like Nature) and we believe we are powerless to do anything, and we must just accept our fate, instead of seeing LIFE is HERE to be brought forward as ourselves and within this we CREATE our DESTENI.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the system that is here is LIFE and that what ever happens to me within the system is a choice by life and that I deserve anything and everything the system does to me, seeing and realizing within this I make the human designed system for self interest and GREED of the ego, my god, to punish and enslave me as it pleases, and thus nothing will happen to the system and I will not do anything to stand up and NOT accept and allow this system to abuse me or others as LIFE any further. 

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience FAILURE as myself in and of a system designed to fuck with me/everyone no matter my efforts, and that poverty and starvation is part of this systems deliberate design as a fear tool TO TO ENSLAVE AND CONTROL HUMANITY TO NOT STAND UP, Thus I see and realize that failure in this system is not a failure of me, it is a failure of the system and the design and starting point of this system, and so I forgive myself that I have ever given myself a hard time, shame and guilt and regret for ever failing in this system, despite my efforts (might not count for everyone this one), and thus. 

I commit myself to stand up, to see this system for what it is, that it is not life, to show others that this system is not life, and that we must stand up as LIFE and in a great effort we must come together and we must bring life forward, to create a new system where deliberate abuse and neglect of LIFE ends, where we can live a life that is best for all life, as I would like to be done onto as I have done, and to create a system that reflect principle living.

I commit myself to get up, get out of the blame, judgements and guilts and "system shame" for any and all my failures, to forgive myself, while I am here and can still do something unlike billions of others in complete powerless positions right now in this world, to walk as a group, to get angry and say enough of the abuse, to support and assist others as best as I can to stand with, starting with myself and giving myself, equal and one with what is here in our struggles, hardships and to show, they are noting compared to what will come if we do not do something else while we can, (those who still have money) and that it will take time, and thus we must make a move, even it it starts slowly.

I commit myself to stop relying and praising this system as a fear response for self interest and survival for myself, and to start seeing I am feeding an evil that will bite back with pleasure, and thus I must stop feeding it within who I am, and start redirecting myself, my resources, my life to that of LIFE as what is best for all life, as LIFE never failed me, it is the design of an abusive system that fails LIFE.

To be continued.

What Happens JUST As You Are About To Transcend

This is an awkward little blog of mine, on a point I do not share to much of, transcending, what a BIG word. What does this word mean even? the context of this word is not within words, it is within the living of self as words, as the living word. 

What the fuck does that mean? If the answer was complicated I might have been able to explain it to you in detail, unfortunately the answer is simple and so it can not be explained to you. See, simplicity complicates the MIND only, because the mind seeks complications and functions on things being complicated, it keeps the mind stimulated with complaining all the time. The answer should be within this paragraph to what the path and key is to transcend, but again, the mind will want to LOOK and FIND a key to this, even when the word itself is not understood, yet even if you seek to understand the word you will only find knowledge, and so already it is complicated. 

Here is the thing, just before you are about to Transcend, thus living change in every breathe, you quickly go and fuck around, just one last time, just this one more time around, just before transcending the mind and expressing self as life/living here in each breathe as all life, you must quickly have that last drink, that last smoke, that last drug hit, that last party, that last taste of porn and masturbation, that last argument, that last conversation that is pointless, that last reaction, that last say, that last opinion, that last moment of entertaining the mind essentially, and then you are way back at the bottom, because YOU saw, damn, transcending myself as life is actually simple, it is HERE as me, in my grasp, so why do it now? 

Why be silent now when I know it is HERE, why give up my addictions, my habits, my self believes, my self definitions, why give up the MIND now, when I can see it is so easy, I am right at the door of doing this, I might as well come back later, I mean, why not? it is right here, not going anywhere right??. 

Before I transcend, before I stand as myself as life here in every breathe, I MUST get the last fix, the last experience, but as usual, I know it just keeps on going on, to such an extent that I even later on forget that there is a door right here to transcend me as life, I get lost in the habits, the addictions, the routines, the dullness of my mind participation in self entertainment/stimulation, no matter what form that self entertainment is, may it be political, environmental, or just plain myself and my life, my relationships, my shit essentially. 

I once explained to someone, we are all born the same, we are of the essence of life, we are the same in the substance as life, we always have access to this life that is HERE, we do not lose it, we simply keep pulling curtains over it, as we know it is right there/here, It is actually so easy to be silent, to stop, to be with self and to be here, dropping everything within self, yet the mind as stated before, loves complications, and as much as you would like a complicated answer and method to transcend life, it does not exist, it only exist in the mind, that is what is complicated. The same way the system we live in reflects how we live within, it has complicated systems that creates complicated problems so that the people/self that wants control have enough complications to hide behind, what do you hide? Your own corruption and the things you get away with, the shit you want to get away with, just like how people in power and normal tax payers get away with shit, by using and implementing a complicated system, if it was simple, then well you are fucked and can not hide shit. simple as that. Oh yes, I am over simplifying everything in this post, a great argument for not changing and seeing directly what is here and requires change as SELF and so as the system. 

Where is the blog post going? at this point it is getting complicated, because that way the value seems more, just like how we like to over complicate everything in this world to give it value, losing the inherent value everything has as LIFE substance, within which we are all equal regardless of anything else. Stock markets? how money works? look it is made so complicated, and only if you LEARN to understand it do you have value and get equal value back, apparently, but that's also just a scam like this system over all, so if you can not deceive and manipulate and learn to fuck others over, you do not have value as a human, just look at how simple you are, just a gardener or a sewage cleaner, or waste remover, your value is nothing right?

Simplicity is seeing that health is not in the hospitals you have and the amount of doctors you have that specializes in everything, it is to see a healthy EARTH and thus food, water and air prevents all of that from being necessary to a HIGH degree, and obviously ALL life to have equal access to the resources instead of fighting, killing and murdering each other for it = SHARE and CARE, and taking care of the earth is pretty simple, as it works naturally with itself and everything on it, unlike us humans. We have already over complicated EVERYTHING, just like we do with our very selves, our relationships, everything personal and in the greater picture.

Back to the point, take a look, you most probably have had that moment or moments in your life, where you are, not experiencing BLISS, that is a fuckup too, but you are experiencing YOURSELF as all life, here directive as self in each moment/breath, where you SEE yourself change, where you SEE the best version of YOU in who you are in a moment within what is here as life is here currently to bring about a best version of life as you do for YOURSELF considering all life, then you fuck it up in a few minutes, right after that, like because you could see it, it is too good to be true, it can not be that simple, yet you KNOW, so you turn away, you move away, you go back to the old habits, and sometimes even diminish yourself even more, put yourself back in "your place" even more, you do not deserve to change and be your best version as you keep lying to yourself and selling yourself false images and likenesses, and so we can always wonder why the world and the earth is not achieving it's best version, we keep screaming, we keep yelling, we keep wondering, why is everything getting worse, we can sell ourselves the tickets that this ride is getting worse to getting better, but ask yourself, when you see the BEST version of you in a here moment, the breathe moment, do you BREATHE and stand up and walk as that version and do not accept anything less than that?

Regardless of what is required of you to walk through, to changing in your LIVING as your habits and patterns, you do it because YOU believe in your self as the best version of yourself? most likely not, a simple emotion that makes you feel bad, a thought, anything turns you back to the old asap, so why would the world be any different? the governments, the politicians? the system we live in? no one wants to transcend, even it it is RIGHT in our faces and we have seen it, the possibility in ourselves and so this world.

Do you live your best version? transcending YOU.

Day 639, 32 words –DISCONNECTED word 3

At first, when I read this word there was no attraction towards the word to work with it, to explore the word. I looked at it and I saw nothing. This is where my Desteni tools kicked in, I slowed down and breathed and looked at the word instead of just scrolling past it with my eyes looking for the next word, a word that I would have a “feelings” towards to work with.

As I paused and looked at the word and kept saying it to myself, DIS – CON – NECT – ED, still nothing came up. I placed a red flag, as I noticed that nothing was “coming up” I still sensed this kind of white barrier within me, I say white because that’s what comes to mind like there is something hidden, yet not hidden, and this word is behind that white barrier.

When I look at this barrier that comes up within me, I see that this IS the point of disconnected, as there should be NO barriers within me, as that is a disconnection within me from me. I am finding this quit “exciting” now as I am exploring this word, but not through the definition of the word or the sounding of the word as usual, but I am finding that I am actually finding the manifestation and living of this word within me, which has no feeling, no reference, as that is the implication of this word – Disconnected.

As I have disconnected me from something, then it is obvious that there is no connection to have a feeling, or emotion, or memory, or thought, or reference, or anything to come up within me to say YES!! This is the word I must work with, as there is something, the point of this word is that there should be nothing yet something, the nothing is that there is no connection, yet there not being a connection as a “problem” makes it something and not nothing.

So what am I disconnecting myself from? Wow, this is quite interesting, I have a slight resistance coming up now with a hint of anxiety arising as if I am surprising myself, yet at the same time I kind of already at a quantum time processed what it is, which is that I have disconnected me from ME. This ME is a part of who I am yet I disconnected myself from that part, I discarded it as not relevant within this world, and thus not relevant to me.

I will now go to the dictionary to find the definition of this word too.

DISCONNECTED:

having had a connection broken.

"he expected the disconnected phone to start ringing"

·         (of a person) lacking contact with reality.

"I drove away, feeling disconnected from the real world"

synonyms:

detached, separate, separated, divorced, cut off, isolated, dissociated, disengaged, removed, unconnected, unattached; apart "I drove away feeling disconnected from the real world"

·         (of speech, writing, or thought) lacking a logical sequence.

"a disconnected narrative"

When I look at the word Disconnected, I see IS Connected with a D in front of it – The D is like this white wall I described within me, the D is standing as a Denial, a denial that I am connected, IS connected. What am I standing within denial of within my reality, within REALITY as all that is here? That I am not connected/disconnected.

I am going to go back to self and see with my own eyes why I am living I denial of the fact that I am connected to all that is here, not in a spiritual way, but in a literal scientific way, not just in matter but in fact in actual current day to day events, happening and all that is actually going on, that I am in fact connected to it all, especially in my direct reality, I can see how within my direct reality I have points of abdicating involvement or playing a part In certain things that takes place, or how things move or are going and so I within myself disconnect myself from certain points moving to stand outside of it as an observer. I do this as I FEAR speaking or acting on certain points that are being moved and then having a hand within it, I fear this because I fear that if things within certain events and situations do not work out, that I will be connected to why and how things possible move. This is a position I take the belief that if I do not see the monsters then they will not harm me, a childhood belief.

Within the other part of the definition of the word disconnected it mentions is “lacking a logical sequence” – wow, I never knew the definition can be that specific in defining disconnected to attach this definition somehow to be relevant to logic, and then sequence, which is WORDS and making sense of reality.

This is something I have been struggling a lot within my reality, as my previous blog on articulate made it clear, and probably dozens of other blogs since 2012.

This makes the moments where I disconnect myself from reality/events/situations/circumstances and MYSELF much clearer – as I have never been able to place what I SEE or what I want to DO into a logical sequence to be able to ACTUALLY participate in a way that expresses me in my totality and to have the effect that I wanted, that was within me, that which I saw in fact, and so I within this simply disconnected myself and to rather have NO play. But what I am not seeing and realizing is that I am always a player, even if I am simply standing on the side and watching, listening and seeing, my very act of just standing there not saying a word, not moving a muscle is playing a role that affects the whole play ANYWAY.

Ok – time to slow down, as I have been writing out the phase of exploration above, I started developing this unrest within me in relation to this word – DISCONNECTED – a small feeling of sadness, a memory of childhood, a moment of breaking something within me, giving up, distancing myself from ME, a part of me, a part that I have seen useless, a part of me that I dug a hole for and put it in there and closed it up. I feel that this part of me was something that annoyed and burdened others and thus with this part I was ignored and shunned from reality, unless I killed this part of me, and I developed a HATE towards myself for being this way, having this trait, this expression that didn’t seem to fit in, this soft and kind part of myself, this caring and loving child.

Looking inside of self I see many memories popping up, many moments where I slowly started disconnecting myself, where I slowly started placing this white wall of an illusion within me, the illusion is that I believe I can disconnect myself, and I have been living within this illusion through living out the opposite of what I disconnected myself from within myself, outside of myself.

The memories/moments all took place at the age of 6 and 13. ALL these memories are specifically in relation to animals/nature – I want to jump to the statement of ‘ I have stopped caring for nature and animals as a true expression s society didn’t care and every time I cared no one cared and found me annoying and a burden when I requested action” but I will not jump to this conclusion of the memories – the memories were all with animals and very specific, but these events could have been in relation to anything else and still had the same effect, the effect where I stopped actually caring, where I stopped actually showing affection towards anything.

I have disconnected myself from the decision I have made where I chose the matrix over life and where I have abandoned life within me and so within this world, where I gave over my expression to that of a personality with multiple characters to survive, to fit in, to be cool, to get a girlfriend, to not be bullied, to not be seen as weird, to not be seen as the person that is different. I have killed my care through making that decision that is more important for me to survive and to let the animals/nature/life suffer and have no one be the voice for them, as I gave my voice away to a system instead, in my head.

Now, I see and realize that the past is the past, I cannot go back and regain the experience and expression I was as a child, as it is coming from a memory, and memories cannot be trusted. So, I see and realize I must WILLINGLY create myself to actually CARE, to DARE myself to be all that which I was afraid of and LIVE it, express it, to end self-interest and fear, as I see and realize that it is more valuable to have lived for real than to fake for survival, to stand for all than to just stand for myself, and to be different, weird, strange, and annoy and burden people with care is much better than to coward away in awareness of what is going on. Now, I am not saying preaching, I am not saying going into irrational actions of the mind as projections of images of what this must be like, I am stating and committing myself to start with myself daily, to implement this expression as me as my environment and from there I expand naturally, creating this real time, to realize my in fact connection, remove the illusion of disconnectedness and so all the fears.

A voice for and as LIFE, as I am connected in fact, not even connected, I am simply all here as one, now to bring inequality is the point I commit myself to stand as within all forms and shapes and all matters that actually matter.

Day 528 - We live in a system that is out of service

 

We live in a system that is out of service. It isn't serving us. In fact we are serving the system even when it cons us into believing it is here to serve us. For example a Bank. I work all month for the end result to receive money. My money goes into a bank where it is kept save. Yet the bank steals little by little of my money every time I want to use some, besides already paying monthly banking fees. And in the other hand even if I do not want a bank account the system is forcing me to have one. All I am saying is take a moment to consider what service means and see how the system manipulates and cons everyone to pay for something that claims to serve us. Without money you are fucked by this system. Yet we all seem.to be okay with the idea that if you have no money you are fucked. No service

Day 525 - What I enjoy doing versus what I have to do

 

What I enjoy versus what I have to do. Or let me change that to taking what I have to do and taking what I enjoy doing and creating a supportive way for me to always enjoy myself in what ever I do. Thus who I am in what I do becomes the enjoyment. See we have it backwards - we do things that we enjoy because they bring joy as an experience inside ourselves which is nice and comfortable. So if it is about how we initially experience ourselves within what we do then we can realize that our experiences are our own and we can thus decide our experiences in what ever we do. If we allow ourselves to let go of the judgements and ideas/beliefs/opinions inside of our minds that we recieved and accepted and allowed from others to become our thinking about everything. But this does not mean accepting and allowing any abuse or harm for self or another. That is a physical experience that needs to be addressed with others or seeking help support. I went from doing what I enjoy most as working outside building and being in nature to doing office work and being indoors and driving all the time as I needed to. So here I decided to change who I am withon it all to make it an expression of myself instead of a limitation.

Day 522 - Sadness

 

Sadness -I have grown up as most of us, to always live and show happiness and never to expose the sadness. As soon as sadness is shown or expressed people try and make you happy. Because sadness has been judged as wrong as bad as negative, thus it is feared to be and show sadness, you will become a party pooper or make others feel uncomfortable. So I learned to pretend. I became an expert at pretending to be just happiness. But the truth behind the smiles is this face. Because this face expresses Life on earth currently. While we party and be happy and keep pretending for the same of others, our lives are sad. We are bound to money, to be slaves to money in a system we keep alive but we here did not create it, we suffer and all life on this planet suffers for it and everything it truly sad. Yet we do not dare live this truth. But I have realized this truth, and because of this realization I am able to live in self honesty - that for real happiness, for my face to truly change - this world must change and I m7st actively take responsibility to change it and to truly create REAL happiness. Where no smile ever hides anything as we will in this new world know for a fact that all parts of LIFE is happy equally within their part of this Life. If we all can come to terms with realty and that it is sad. Perhaps then we can come together and say This is not how we would like to live life so lets fucking change it and bring true unchangeable happiness to this WORLD and all parts in it.

Day 501 - The all-powerful system

We look at the world and we see a system, a system that we all live in, it is massive, it is strong, it is unstoppable, we have no power to do anything about the system, we can simply live in it and hope for the best, Ignore everything and everyone and hope we have a good life, and start focusing ONLY on our life’s, we will do this deliberately, in the believe that we cannot do anything. 

Well, we cannot do anything, we are sitting ducks, we are simply going to have to die in this world and who knows how our deaths will come, perhaps in peace, maybe we are lucky, maybe we will not be murdered, or drown or burn to death, maybe we won’t have to die in a war or something terrible, like going through cruel evil things before death – you know like what millions of others are experiencing, like dying just because there isn’t water, or being raped and abused and left for death just because some soldiers took over your town, or watching the ones you love being tortured and abused and die and then you, like how millions of others are experiencing it. 

You see – we become so obsessed with the IDEAL situation in our minds, that everything will be okay, JUST FOR US, and forget reality, what happens to others in this world is a possibility for anyone at any time, you will never expect it, you will never know when it can happen or how, but as long as it exist in this world for just one person, such cruelty, such abuse, such a life, it will speak, it isnt a maybe, it is a WILL, just like a virus attacking a body, sure it is hurting only one part of the body for now, but once it is done with that part of the body, it moves to the next ONLY available parts left, till the whole body is dead.

This is common sense.

And the sad thing is, this will happen to all of humanity till we change, and the only reason change will not happen is literally just because of a believe – a believe that the system is so big and unchangeable.

Day 241 – Trusting the Intelligent people looking after the human race Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that there are people looking after the human race and the planet we live on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are intelligent people that will say when we must stop what we are doing on earth when they see it is time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue living my life here on earth as being normal within the belief that as long as the intelligent people of this world do not say stop to me or the rest of the world that everything must be okay and I can continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are people out there checking everything we are doing and that they will say STOP and that we must change when they see it is time and that before that happens I am okay and con continue living my life as if it is normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that there is no intelligent people sitting somewhere monitoring what we are doing and that will say stop when the time is ready, as we all can see we have already gone too far and nothing is being said about US that has to change, we are all simply accepting and allowing to continue destroying our earth believing we are not because there is no intelligent person saying anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the governments running the countries that run the world knows what they are doing and as long as they are not raising voice or concern we are okay and may continue abusing earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be raise in school and in life by the adults to believe that the authorities always knows best and will always speak up when it is a matter of importance, seeing and realizing that this is not so and that everything is about money so no one will speak up even in the face of our planets extinction that we are causing ourselves because that would mean losing money and power for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the life I am living in the current world to be normal just because no one intelligent is saying otherwise, seeing and realizing that within this I am abdicating my own common sense and self honesty to someone else to have the power over me and to be subject to their words as if it is always truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that everything happening on earth such as the oil usage and deforestation and ocean pollution and over fishing is being monitored by intelligent people with power and that only once they say something will it mean that we must stop and change, seeing and realizing that it is not happening and everyone is waiting for this higher intelligence to tell us to change while we can clearly see the abuse without them and to simply continue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that there is no higher intelligent humans looking over us and that we are living in a monstrous system that is swallowing itself whole because there is no one driving this train and no one has ever bothered to check the driving seat and have only thus far trusted that there is someone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that we are all on a train ride in this world and that we are all stuck in the idea that someone is driving this train because we know that should be common sense, yet no one bothers to check and simply HOPE that it is so and within this continue the ride as if everything will be okay, seeing and realizing that the train ride must stop somewhere as it started somewhere, but there is no one to put the brakes and we all will simply continue into our own doom of ignorance and blissfulness.

To be continued.