Self Honesty - Self forgiveness

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-honesty is hard. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see/realize and understand that when I experience self-honesty as HARD that I am not self-honest. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-honesty can be confusing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see that when I am confused it is because I am NOT self-honest. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe as the EGO that I can simply be self-honest without doing the actual work within self-forgiveness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place self-honesty within the limits of the MIND as ego, where I can be "honest" with myself as long as this honesty supports my mind as my thinking, my way, my points of view and thus never actually being self-honest. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self-honesty to justify my actions/behaviours within self-interest as the mind, as long as I can say BUT I was honest with myself, and so only prove and show to what level I am dishonest, as I see and realize within self-honesty I must push a point within me till it can stand the test of time within what is best for all life as principle. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR my self-honesty and what the truth will be as what is here, to then actually start changing instead of justifying the mind. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I must push my self-honesty as far as I can go within myself, to truly see what i here, real and to walk and live that, to thus not simply accept and allow the first thought,feeling or emotion to pop up within me to be the only layer of information I look at or though to determine if I am honest with myself or not. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afrain of what is truly here as my self-honesty and what I must truly change and take action on within my daily living to actually live self-honesty as within and so without. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to avoid SHAME through not being truly self-honest with myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to AVOID responsibility though deceiving and manipulating self-honesty within and as the mind as ego, where I can "justify" myself within saying I was self-honest, yet I did not put in the true work and actions to truly see what my self-honesty is. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to use the first FEELING or THOUGHT that comes to my mind as a reason for me to act and live points, and to tehn call that self-honesty, when I do not even understand this feeling or thought, where it came from and how, and so I see, realize and understand that I must first investigate the point to get to the source to then forgive it, let it go, and to see what is here as reality that requires me to be here. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed to see, realize and understand that I must always first apply the work, such as writing and self forgiveness within a point that comes up, to get to self-responsibility to then live self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hold onto points within me and to act out those points, to live out those points, as I have within myself already justified and reasoned within me why that will be my self-honesty, and so create consequences within myself and my life that is not best for all, including myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to BELIEVE that I am free, and living TRUTH when and as I act on my mind, my thoughts, feelings and emotions, as I for a moment can experience relieve or freedom, and so connect that with "I am being honest with myself, because look, I feel better" yet the point will cycle over and over until I have forgiven the points, let them go, and to see truly what is here as who I am. 

I forgive myself that I have NOT been honest with myself and living it, where I can see I must first remove my own brainwashing and mind control, I must purify myself all the way, a far as I can within myself before I can call anything remotely self-honesty, as I then need to also re-create myself within principles that are best for all life and I must re-educate myself and develop myself, so that the old is forgiven and let go, and not controlling or directing who I am, as I can then only make real decisions.

Day 685 - Self Honesty

The first time I was made aware of the concept of self-honesty (as it was still only a concept for me back then) was way back in 2007 through Bernard Poolman and the Desteni Process and message. This concept of self-honesty seemed so simple, be honest with yourself.

It turned out to not be as simple as I would have expected, I had a few points within me where I deceived myself with what self-honesty means, first was how I have defined the words self and honesty, and secondly, who is this self that is being honest?

So, as I started walking my journey to life process, I had to dig into this self, who am I, and I had to really face myself in many ways, in all thoughts, words and deeds, as who I was as a MIND consciousness system, as I as the living being was practically not here. My daily living was MENTAL, I would live and follow and believe every thought, every emotion, every reaction that came up within me, I would believe ideas and images of myself and try and live those ideas and images. 

So how could I have been self-honest in any way if I as the self in self-honesty was a MENTAL living being that follows thoughts, ideas, opinions and believes that are of the nature of the mind as ENERGY, always following energy - also known as the EGO, E = energy, and GOing there (E-GO).

This meant I had to apply certain very specific tools to STOP this EGO of a mental nature that I have accepted and allowed of myself since birth, I had to as THE MIND delete my mind one memory, one experience at a time, purifying myself.

The tools are that of writing, of writing self-forgiveness, and in general as I live daily, when I can, speak self forgiveness in times of a MENTAL state, such as when I was in thoughts, reactions, in an emotional or feeling energetic experience to release myself from that to be here.

The biggest parts that supported in this journey was purifying and understanding the WORDS I was living and how I was using the words in my mind, as my thinKING, as that then translated into my living, this also meant I had to re-educate myself, I had to take the time to learn something completely new, and this was the message of Desteni through the Portal, and in general all the research and sharing of other individuals and their processes.

The process of living self-honesty is a process of self-realization, and this does not mean we sit and think and see a different dimension of a point within us and go OH, there is self-honesty (that is still part of the process) but, NO, that is still just knowledge and information as a seeing within ones mind, there has to be a self-realization, this means it is integrated as self and self is living it, thus the journey and process of living self-honesty must be through ACTION and applying the tools, applying the self-honesty instantly as a self-realization, I have realized this, as the only parts of me that I actually changed, as who I am has been through self realization and when I speak as that living of the self-realization, I am living self-honesty.

Yet, the process in self-honesty is different for everyone on many levels within themselves and their lives as their position and location, YET, not so different, as we are all the same in many ways, and we do not have to "go on our own" to walk our process as self-honesty, that is part of the dishonesty within self, as within self honesty and realization, you realize there is no on your own, it is an illusion for self to abuse and be in ones mind without revealing your secrets to others and facing yourself with accountability - this reality is ONE, we must walk as equals to get this world to a place that is best for all. this brings in the next point.

I have in the past lost and to a degree forgotten quit a few times as I was occupied and obsessed with my own process about a very important part of walking this process, that I must walk it within PRINCIPLE, and this is a key to this process, without principle we are deceiving, we are self-dishonest, what is anything in this world if it does not have principles?

So what is the Principles I live by, or lets rather ask, what is the ONLY principles worth living by in this existence, and I would say, Desteni clarified that, and the main Principle is Always live what is best for all LIFE, and this in self-honesty should push one to not just live your life and think I am doing what is best for all life, not while all life is suffering, then your life and living it alone within just your process is dishonest, especially if you are a very capable intelligent human being within money and resources.

Sure, if your life and situation is going through a difficult time, focus on stabilizing yourself and your reality, yet do not get stuck in that position and location once it is sorted, move forward, move within PRINCIPLE and let it guide you within self-honesty. I know when I am lying to myself and telling myself, this is all I can do, this is where I am now settling down, if anyone can settle down this life with what is HERE as all life on this earth currently, that is self-dishonesty.

You can walk your own inner process and you can at the same time do something about this world, in fact it can compliment eachohter as each one will face themselves even more, the reactions, thoughts, feelings, emotions of having to work with other human beings as mirrors of self, and this is a great opportunity, as long s we avoid GROUP effort to to do anything within this world practically and with common sense and basic math, then we are avoiding ourselves.

We avoid having to do anything with other people as we fear our own back chat and secret minds and thoughts towards others and thus our own reaction, thus we have already failed in doing anything as we KNOW ourselves to not be walking our processes effectively in self forgiveness to stop our minds and back chat to actually effectively come together this one life time to sit down, talk and come to a GROUP movement as what is best for all life as the guiding principle and thus how to change things within this system as how it is now, to let go of our IDEAS of what is right or wrong and to really be a BEAST to take on the system as ourselves.

Just like how I had to as the MIND start my process, as my mind forgiving my mind, We will have to as a SYSTEM within this SYSTEM take on this system and change this system, NO one can start from a pure and correct way, it is dishonest if you think so and live in an alternate reality, you will have to be evil at first to take on the evil and you will need your process and peers to support each other all the way. writing publicly is a great way of checking yourself and being checked, and specifically writing in self forgiveness.

The world is full of enough OPINION pieces - we who can read this and understand this, must take our positions and locations and apply what we know, living it, giving it, as the time for this is NOW. repetition is Key, Discipline is not what you desire, it is what is needed to be done and you Breathe and do it. 

Day 582 - That Block when you havent Blogged in a while - Response to MatterFreemans Blog post

Please read Matti Freeman's blog of which this blog is a response here - http://www.matterfreeman.com/2016/06/day-319-that-block-when-you-havent.html

Thank you Matti for this Blog, as I have had this Block for a while as well, and I know many others have this block as well, just no one ever pushes to unblock themselves, and I can see this for myself as myself.

Those that want to blog can not, those that has the time to blog simply does not - this is the world working in reverse, as those that has already taken their space and time within this reality to be active and live, to walk the talk, does not have the time to blog consistently, those that requires blogging to unblock themselves are not doing so because of the very point they need to walk to become active, to take responsibility, to become self-honest within themselves.

I haven't blogged in a while, even though I stand by very specific principles that I live and implement daily, the very reason I have this blog, and no other reason is for myself, to rebirth myself, to change myself, this blog is for ME as all life, yet there is no activity, there is no movement. perhaps every now and then. this raises question to reasons towards and of myself, no other. Perhaps because I saw it as ONLY being for me, I could simply toss it aside like it meant nothing, thus I never included all LIFE s me and making that me stance within writing, me as my journey as LIFE.

After reading Matti's Blog, I saw a few things, I wasn't blogging because I was being Lazy, or because I wasn't busy, I was in fact very busy - so busy with so many things that blogging didn't come up during my days very much. I would see others blog and I would read their blogs and I would share their blogs, but not all, and still share them within principle of spreading the message, the support and assistance.

So - what is the BLOCK as Matti described within his blog regarding blogging?

The block that I have found within myself isn't just one block point, there are many, my mind has made so many fears as reasons to why I am not blogging, or reasons as justification, my mind had made so much out of it that blogging is simply not an options, so how did this come to this?

See, the point of this Blogging within the 7 year Journey to Life is very specific, it is a BLOG that is public, or some set it to private depending on their work but yet allow others to see it, like being invited, see EVERYONE can blog, even if these blogs are just posted on the Desteni forums etc, there is always a way, there is No excuse. where these blogs can be under a different name even if public - as the point is UNIVERSAL process, as each person with Desteni walk their journey, their journey is very very specific, and this is within the understanding that there are 7 Billion people in this world that walk similar journeys, and thus through sharing and walking these journeys in public, others can find support and assistance within this current system we are all fucked within and move the world within support and assistance much faster through the beautiful thing called the internet, besides our daily living and activities in ONLY our current environments, which is extremely limited in comparison - I mean, how did I get to where I am? through the internet. and everyone else I now know with Desteni? through the internet. 

Thus living the principle of oneness and equality for all - through sharing, giving, supporting, assistance, reaching out to the world through our personal Journeys - this is a pretty awesome way, as our process/journeys being shared over the internet in support and assistance can prevent a lof of harm, to self and even others. Because we write our Blogs within principle, with the tools we have been using and implementing of self forgiveness, problem and solution, giving corrective statements to apply.

imagine a person is going through a mind possession and wants to stab someone, but instead finds a blog on the internet of someone else that walked the same point, and through this the person does not do this but instead take self responsibility, or at least reach out for support and assistance. the blog isn't limited to its possible reach, it isn't limited to ONLY the people a person knows within their current environment, it is actually considering everyone writing a blog.

So How did I lose first of all Myself and this simple point of living and walking blogging within principle of whats Best for all life? how did I come up with SOO many reasons and excuses and justification to NOT blog? how did I make and create such a "valid" limitation to blogging within my reality that it has become impossible and even accepted as a valid reason for all others that walk with me this journey? why has my brothers not been my keepers? have I deceived and manipulated myself so much that even they fell for it? the reason and excuse?

I have taken the time tonight to check myself to find the most Valid reasons for me to not do blogging in any way what so ever online, with considering my life and time/space, and there is none but only fears and excuses and seeking self-interest - I am the BLOCK in me blogging for the sake of self interest. does not matter if I was a rich man that had to protect my image and keep my blogging a secret from everyone I know, If I was seriously self honest and am, I would have and WILL find a way to stand as the point of walking my journey, sharing my journey and reaching others with my journey to move along this process we as Humanity is all walking to either create heaven on earth or to destroy t, and I know and see, that me not writing unconditionally and to FIND a way to keep writing no matter what my physical reality as survival is demanding of me to NOT do, because I am passionate about what I do and will even start an underground blogging society to make sure earth and life on earth is getting the support and assistance on how to live corrections, take self-responsibility, develop self-honesty and to live whats best for all life as that is exactly what ISN'T here on earth, so why would I stop blogging and Block myself? did my personal survival become independent from the survival of earth? and moving the earth process as each and every individual that is ME, then self-interest has surely conned me to make up my actions as beautiful pictures and ideas to justify my actions of why I am "focusing" now more on just my life and self-development, Blogging within principle is independent from that, a person WILL find a way to do so regardless. there are ways, and I found that I simply didn't care to find that way - this is because self-interest has got self interested in something else than LIFE.

I am grateful for Matti's Blog, it really gave me the moment to really check the points within myself. and I am finding scary shit of how the mind works and has worked me - such a simple point of blogging, taken for granted, of almost 100 7 YEARS Journey to Life Blogs that started out, but only about 20 remain active. I commit myself to check myself everyday on this point with Brutal self-honesty.

To be continued with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective statements

Day 536 – Back to the word responsibility

About two weeks ago I revisited the word responsibility, only to realize that what I previously redefined as responsibility was still based on the mind, as a point of morality, where I want to be more than reality – thus taking on tasks and things within my reality that was/is unnecessary.

Let me explain a bit more, there is common responsibilities that I have, things that are immediate within my reality, such as eating and supporting my body with nutrients, this is a responsibility where I have to get food, prepare food and eat the food, I have to spend my time and effort on doing so, and it is immediate and obvious as a point of MY responsibility, no one else is going to feed me for me. Then there is more similar responsibilities, such as cleaning myself, taking care of my “space” where I live in and move within.

Then there is a level or responsibilities that is not about ME, yet it is within my ability to respond, such as when I see dog poo laying on the floor, I can wait for whom ever is “supposed to be responsible to pick it up, as it isn’t my dog, BUT it is within my ability within the moment to respond to what is here, I check within myself within self-honesty, do I have the time right now to do it? Yes I do, or No I do not, then I act on it, because I obviously have the ability to pick up some poo and throw it away, so I respond to it, and another point is, if I go to the toilet and I see we need toilet paper, In that moment I have the ability to respond to fetch more toilet paper, it isn’t about who left it empty, or someone else can do it when they need the toilet, it is points that is not about ME yet my responsibility as it is MY reality/environment, but it is to be self-honest in these moments if one has time and the ability.

For example, if I see someone on the side of the road with a flat tire and I do not have the skills to help a person in such a situation, isn’t then my responsibility to help the person with changing or fixing the entire problem within having a flat tire, BUT it is still within my ability to do something – I can stop and see if the person needs help, if help is coming, I can check if I can be of support to help the person with changing the tyre and in the process learn how to do it, that’s my ABILITY in the moment and thus my response, but IF I do not have TIME to stop and help I must be able to take that into account within self-honesty, but if I have the time or not I MUST assess within real time and not of/as the mind where it is simply a point of justification, as in I do not have the time I want to go home and just be lazy, and take into account the dangers of today, the area, the environment etc. – assess moments within common sense and self-honesty of what is HERE as the physical real time.

These are all easy points, they are responsibilities that show themselves to me – I am self-honest within my ability and thus respond equally, but remember, there is ALWAYS a response ability, if you don’t know how to fly a plane, your responsibility is then to learn how to fly a plane, if that is what YOU want to do or need to do for a certain purpose. It is pointless to jump in the believe that I must be responsible now and just fly this plane; it makes no sense as the ability isn’t here yet, the sensible response it to breathe and be self-honest and start from where you are and walk the process to get to flying a plane.

So I realized that I always have an ability to respond, BUT I must be self-honest within my ability and to respond from that ability and expand my ability more and more and thus increase my response.

BUT, I have now fallen into another dimension of the point of responsibility, I have gotten my two feet on the ground to be honest within my ability to respond to my environment and first of all within myself as who I am, BUT I haven’t considered the point yet of creational responsibility, till now.

Where I start being creative within GIVING myself responsibilities, as I have only lived according to what my environment is giving me, but never me giving myself responsibilities, and this if vital, as it is the point of creation/purpose – where I assess what it is I stand for, which is LIFE, what is it that I want to achieve as LIFE, which is oneness and equality to be realized within all Life and to create a world (heaven on earth) where this equality and oneness is implemented and lived, so NOW within my current abilities, where can I within self-honesty RESPOND and take responsibility for what is here and start giving myself direction and purpose till it is done.

I will in more blogs later on write on how this process in real time is taking grip as I learn to give myself responsibilities and developing myself to take on more and more till I stand as Life as responsible, able to respond to LIFE one and equal, an it is most important to be okay with my current abilities and my response as I trust and know the more I take responsibility and develop my abilities and my responses I will grow, I will expand and thus I trust the process as long as I keep walking and applying and living an BREATH.

Day 495 – Bare Foot - Earthing

This seems like a simple topic to write about and to apply self-forgiveness on, yet when I embrace the point within me, I find that there are a lot of points connected in relation to this bare foot point. I am deliberately embracing a point that I have been taking for granted, blindly living a certain pattern within the believe that it means nothing, this is exactly why I must question this point, what is the mind hiding behind this seemingly small and insignificant point.

Let me start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my feet and the earth that my feet stand on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget my feet and the earth underneath my feet due to the mind that has created ideas/believes/opinions around being barefoot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be subconsciously influenced by society and the general idea society has created around people that are barefoot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall for the Ideas/believes/opinions society has created around being barefoot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move my beingness from being earthed and barefoot to the mind up high where I am concerned about thoughts of judgment and fitting in into society, where the image and likeness is that of ideas/believes/opinions – which keeps me enslaved to the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on the Idea from the general society that being barefoot isn’t decent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on the believe from the general society as my own that if one exposes their feet for everyone to see that it must be an association of to being poor.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as poor within society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the judgment from society that I might be poor if I had to show my feet.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to apply self-honesty and common sense in regards to the point of walking barefoot, whereas self-honestly within common sense I see walking barefoot can be done in my own private time and or in public places where everyone is doing it, and that I do not need to compromise myself within going against society.

Thus back to self – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge barefoot as being a poormans way of walking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by opinions from others/media/gossip that barefoot is disgusting and showing your toe nails to everyone is ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always hide my feet from the idea that others will compare their feet to mine and judge mine as inferior or not as good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my feet within shoes that project money and everything that is the opposite of what I think about feet and exposing them, and to within this create/make a complete mind idea out of this that subconsciously influence my everyday life, as my feet are always with me and thus these secret thoughts/beliefs/ideas/opinions to influence my actions and what I do, instead of me being the one making each moment a decision, thus leading to my always just wearing shoes with no real reason – but minor justification that the mind create to wear shoes to hide the real mind pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the justification for irrationally just putting on shoes that my feet are safer, even when at home and I can walk barefoot, to feel the earth and to eart myself and to keep contact and awareness of my feet and the surroundings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the justification for putting shoes on irrationally that my feet will be warm for in case it gets cold.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the irrational justification for putting shoes on even when I can walk barefoot that I might walk into a nail at any time and thus preventing walking into a nail by just wearing shoes all day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the justification of my feet being to soft to walk barefoot and thus I might as well just always wear shoes, seeing and realizing that all of this is from the subconscious point of fearing being judged for being barefoot and being seen as indecent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Forget my earthling, my feet and to instead entertain the mind at all costs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from LIFE as my feet as the earthling of me here with the soil, and to rather give precedence over to the mind and the system and participate within unconscious energy designs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question my every action and who I am within each and every action and re aligning my starting point with LIFE, and to instead remain aligned with and as the mind as the enslavement of myself.