Day 267 – Me Myself and African Grey Parrots Part 5

I commit myself to when and as I am moving around in my day to slow down and to be aware of what I am doing in all breathes here one and equal.

I commit myself to slow down no matter how much I feel the need to rush or to move fast in the fear of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush in the fear of missing out time somewhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not have TIME for myself and to through this rush myself within all other things I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from everything I do as if it isn’t Me being with me and thus have to rush to get t myself to my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself through separating myself from myself within everything I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my relationships with everything/everyone around me within rushing what I do to get to my time that I have for myself, not seeing and realizing that the fact is I am always with me and my time no matter what I do.

I commit myself to when and as I see I am rushing and wanting to get somewhere else where I am with myself with my time entertaining myself to stop and to breathe within the realization that I am always in fact here with myself and thus I do not need to go somewhere else separate for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame all and everything else in my life that isn’t ME TIME as things/people wasting my time and thus I rush and do not consider everything and what my actions of rushing will have as consequences such as the parrots freaking out or living in fear of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set my life up deliberately in such a way that I always have to apparently rush myself to get to things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set time in my mind that is always closer and faster within my mind then what it is in reality and to within this rush and not be aware as breathe in ALL moments.

I commit myself to when and as I am around the parrots to be aware of myself as the physical in each movement and to also be equally aware of what is still existent within me and to work through the movement within me as the thoughts/feelings/emotions and to stop them or to correct myself externally to change what’s inside to that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to approach the parrots from a mind idea/belief and to try and to create that instead of working with what is here one and equal.

I commit myself to stop any and all ideas/beliefs I have about the parrots through breathing and working with them and to as I work with them remove the thoughts of the beliefs/ideas through seeing what is here as the physical as the facts and to work from here.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am taking anything personal from the parrots to not take it personal to stop and to breathe and to not validate the energy reactions within me through physically acting out on them and to simply breathe through the energy experience till it is out and to then walk here clear to check and make sure there is nothing moving within me so that I can give a new clean slate to myself and the parrots to create the relationship in oneness and equality as that which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a parrot character when and as I am around them that is always trying to pretend to be playful and smart when and as I can see that it isn’t working and just suppressing the actual experience that I have to walk through.

I commit myself to make an effort within this and that this commitment can obviously only be lived if I in fact make the effort and thus I will call myself out through saying yes when I want to say no, or to agree when I want to disagree with spending time with the parrots out loud so I can be heard by others.

I commit myself to stop the limitations and the fears and the beliefs and the ideas that I have every day and that I place onto myself through my actions to actually walk this commitment for myself because I can see that if I do not walk this commitments exactly what I am accepting and allowing to exist within and as me and that is not what I want for myself.

Day 266 – Me Myself and Parrots Part 4

Continuing from:
Day 263 Me Myself and Parrots Part 1
Day 264 Me Myself and Parrots Part  2
Day 26 5 – Me Myself and Parrots Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that for the “relationship” between me and the parrots can only work if there is trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “HOPE” that there will be trust in the future between me and the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not sea nd realize that to “hope” for trust will never built trust and only create expectations and disappointments that leads to anger and self hatred that leads to me reacting and in the end becoming harmful to others (parrots).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that Trust is something that is developed through MY living actions that is proven and consistent in time and space that is genuine as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the hope that one day there might be trust between me and the parrots instead of realizing that I must create that trust as Who I am, not as who I pretend to be as that will create real trust that will be able to stand the test of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be to lazy to make the effort to built real trust that is physical and not a dream world in y head of someday maybe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create pictures of me and what I want the parrots to be with me and to then try and attempt to place the parrots in this picture of my mind, not seeing and realizing that this will create conflict and is abuse as it requires force to get the parrots to submit into the picture that might never happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project a picture of what I desire for the relationship with the parrots to be from my mind into reality and to then attempt to play/create it as the picture, not seeing and realizing that the picture in my head is but only a picture and thus I will never succeed and always end up reacting and being angry and have a “bad” relationship with the parrots as I will even blame them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a thought picture within my mind where I see myself happy with the parrots and where I can lay with them and them with me all together and just being awesome together and to then react towards the parrots when this is not happening in reality and to then get angry and mean towards them, seeing and realizing how I have set myself up in a game of polarity with the parrots through living in my mind as a fantasy world and not considering EVERYTHING of and as the physical to be effective and in fact live in oneness and equality with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Doubt myself to be able to stop the mind projections and all the beliefs/ideas and to stand here as the physical one and equal to move myself within creating a effective relationship with me and the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through so many “bad” experiences with the parrots to have judged myself as incapable of ever having a one and equal relationship with them that I not live in separation of them as fear and self self-judgment, seeing and realizing that I must stop the Bad energy connection I have made and to stop all positive future projections I have created of the parrots and to work with what is here as the physical and to give myself a new slate where I do not hold the past over my own head or block myself with a wall of a future projection from being effective here as breathe with the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the behavior of the parrots from the past against them and to already cast them into judgment for their past and to accordingly act and behave as if they have already done that which I expect from them, seeing and realizing how I in fact create the past again here in the present as the future.

To be continued.

Day 265 – Me Myself and Parrots Part 3

Continuing from

Day 263 Me Myself and Parrots Part 1
Day 264 Me Myself and Parrots Part  2

Working with the parrots is something that must be applied in my daily living, not just when I am with the parrots, this is how I deceive myself and also show that what/who I am when I am with them is but only temporarily and thus not real, it is still a pretentious point, because when I am not with them I am someone else, and when I am with them I am suddenly now being careful and caring and considerate and gentle and kind and name it, but as soon as they are back in their cages and I do not have to deal with them I am someone else, this is what they know, they can observe it and see what’s here, and it cannot be trusted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only apply myself when and as I am with the parrots instead of applying myself all the times as the correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reckless during my day within participating within my physical reality and to only change to slowing down and breathing and being here once I am around the parrots.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that if I do not apply slowing down and being aware of myself and my movements and actions ALL the time in each breathe but only do so once I am with the parrots, that I am in fact compromising myself to be set up to “react” as I am attempting to suddenly NOW be corrected and expecting it when all day I was practicing the opposite.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize the consequences of my actions in each moment as who i am within applying myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I see the correction that I have to LIVE with the parrots to be effective such as slowing down and being aware of each and every moment and to be here as the physical in awareness to only apply it when I am with the parrots, not seeing and realizing that only applying it with the parrots isn’t enough and that I am setting myself up to fail and to only create more self hatred.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self hatred through knowing what I have to do ALL the time and to Not apply it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my communication with the parrots through only practicing my communication with the parrots in the limited time I spend with them, seeing and realizing that I have to apply physical communication within and as my reality as the physical as awareness all the time in each breathe being aware of all my movements and slowing down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I slow down and focus on my movements more and being aware of my movements all the time that I will LOSE time and not get things done during my day, not seeing and realizing that by NOT doing so I am not getting anywhere anyway and actually only making the problems bigger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself believe that there inst time for awareness all day, LOL asking myself then how do I make it through the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my actions that I do without awareness and slowing down around the parrots that causes them to see me as a threat and a danger and thus not save to be around with is a Habit I have become addicted to as my automatic robotic movements I do daily that is now Living for me and thus I am actually always a danger to myself as living in unawareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear slowing down and being aware of my movements as I have created the believe that being slow and aware in and as myself as my body is a weakness as if I am not busy and not doing anything and as if I haven’t mastered my own movements yet and that others will see me as weak if I have to move slow and in awareness every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my self-judgments as if they are other peoples judgments as a reason to justify why I am not applying myself ALL the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within perfecting myself as re-birthing myself as life, seeing and realizing that rebirth takes baby steps as I have to remove the old and then to Create the new as that which is best for all life as the parrots are showing me currently where I am still living within self interest.

To be continued.

Day 264 – Me Myself and Parrots Part 2

Continuing from Day 263 Me Myself and Parrots

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame the Parrots for Biting me and how I experience myself within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Who I Am when approaching the parrots will have an effect on the parrots and their behavior towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach the parrots within superiority and dominance as to want to control them to not get bitten.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear getting bitten by the parrots and so when I approach them I take on characters of defense which will have certain characters to then such as dominance and superiority to impose upon the parrots so that I can control the parrots and to not get bitten, not seeing and realizing that this actually only motivates the parrots to bite more as Who I Am within approaching them is that of Fear and thus I am a threat to them, I am a danger to them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that any fear I have when approaching the parrots is showing within me and as my behavior which will mostly be “harmful” as fear is reactive and reactive is of a mind demon possession as energy that can take over when the characters “feel” they have failed and thus the parrots will Bite to show that who I am isn’t best for all and that even they can see it and that they have to defend themselves from me already beforehand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at the parrots for not working with me, seeing and realizing that this is not the case, they are working with me showing me who I am and what I have accepted and allowed within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that my anger is in fact me being angry at myself for knowing who I am when approaching or working with the parrots yet I do not change and accept and allow the fear to direct me within my approach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to “fix” the parrots as if they are broken because they Bite me, seeing and realizing that this is me attempting and trying to not to have to see who i am and to work with that as I know it will be “harder” and thus I rather try and change the parrots to fit my limitations/fears/comforts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my ego to take charge of the matter where I do not even look at myself in totality to see what it is I am accepting and allowing within me that provokes the parrots to Biting instead of working together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear standing as equals with the parrots in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I stand and walk as the parrots as their equals that they would take advantage of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the parrots my fear, instead of me facing me as the living fear that I have accepted and allowed myself to be as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that how the parrots respond to e when and as I have to work with them that it is feedback to me for what’s happening within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought of seeing a parrot biting me to exist within me mind before I even work with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the back chat of – If you bite me one more time then I am going to stop being nice to you” as the reaction towards the thought I had.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the thoughts and back chat that I have towards the parrots is that of justifying my fear that I have created within me from past experiences and that the backchat and thoughts are motivating violent behavior as the reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the parrots can see this within me as y thoughts/backchat will have a Physical effect as behavior that the parrots can read because that’s how they communicate and thus know the physical signs of danger and fear and will BITE to fend the danger off which is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a danger to the parrots within not looking and changing who I am within myself to what’s best for all and to stop the mind/thoughts/feelings/emotions and to Breathe and be here as the physical as the parrots equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that only through controlling the parrots will I be able to establish team work between us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that through using control to establish teamwork in the group that I have/am actually showing that only through fear can there be order/teamwork and thus everyone is in fear of one another and that leads to stress and thus biting and hurting and fighting and conflict that is preventable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that there is another way that is not fear and control and dominance and that I must apply this as what is best for all life and o stop the ego from looking away and to take self responsibility.

To Be continued.

Day 263 – Me Myself and Parrots.

This Is Wings in the Picture with Me

We have five Parrots here at Desteni Farm, Me and my partner are the ones taking care of them, they live right in our room with us, we have five cages in our room and we let the parrots out for a hour or two a day if we have the time, most of the time either me or my Partner have the time to let them out.

Taking care of the Parrots is easy, it is basically giving them food three times a day, giving them clean water every morning and washing the bowls, it is keeping their cages clean which I do every Saturday, and then also part of taking care of them is to make sure they are good over all in health.

Then there is the one point that I am still not cool with, this is me with the Parrots, what I mean is that the relationship between me an the parrots must have a good relationship for this to work, because we need to literally live together and thus requires working together.

This isn’t always so, The first Parrot we got we called parrot, we have a great relationship and he is pretty cool over all with humans because we had him all alone for a while so he got human interaction for hours every day, then we got four more Parrots, this is where we had to start treating them equally to not create/cause problems between them, so we had to stop giving individual special attention.

This became a problem since we now only have one parrot that is cool with humans and lots of other things and four others parrots that is still half wild, because they went up in numbers so quick we never had the time to give each one individual attention and interaction.

So now working with the Parrots can be trouble as there are four of them that still gets frights for any out of the ordinary movements or sounds and sometimes even freak out for nothing, and they BITE.

The new four parrots have been Biting ever since they could, they never had that interaction with humans to be with us and to understand us and them together, like our fist parrot understand how saw he can bite and that the human skin is sensitive and can be damaged, so he does not bite and he gently nibbles or play with the Human skin equal and one, the others don't, and they seem to actually like to see how we react or get hurt when they bite us, this is causing problems with working together and thus creates conflict.

So the point I am facing within this is myself, facing the parrots everyday and them biting and not stopping it, even after a year by now, they just continue, I have tried to stop them through tapping them on the beak, like with dogs, I also tried approaching them differently and many other things, its not working, I feel like just giving up, the ones that still bite, Wings - one of the four has been working with me out of her own, she flies to my desk and sits on my lap and she does not bite anymore.

So I know it is to hang out with them more and to play with them and connect with them and communicate with them, or to establish communication, but the time to do this is something that I am struggling with, because I am already busy and already have all my time set out for specific daily commitments/tasks, and through seeing how effective the first parrot is through ALL the time we spend together I see it is what required, but there are four now.

Sp for this to work I have to work with my reactions first and my anger and everything else that I have now created already in myself as back chat towards/about the parrots, so that when I work with them I know I am clear and that I can direct it and express myself and not be in fear around them.
Self Forgiveness next.

Day 192 – Anger Misplaced Towards Animals Final.

Day 190 - Anger Misplaced towards animals Part 1
Day 191 - Anger Misplaced towards Animals Part 2

Day 192 – Anger Misplaced Towards Animals Final.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I work with animals that it is me that has to work with the animal and in return through my actions the animals will see that I am trust worthy and thus work together with me, or lets rather say Learn the human way, because animals do not know the Human way of doing things when we expect animals to just get it, instead of being patient showing the animal the intention through consistency and stability within, thus getting angry and frustrated and giving up basically does not work and the animal will pick it up and thus friction will be created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am helping an animal to not be HERE in and as every touch as the physical but instead to try and help the animal from what I think I must do based on ideas and beliefs instead of the physical that is already here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated when and as I am trying to force the Human way of taking care of the animal and the animal does not co-operate, not considering the animal and that I am the more intelligent being and thus I must in humbleness adjust myself to care for the animal one and equal and not the other way, as is has proven not to work and only create anger within me because I am trying to force something un-natural onto the animal just to get the job over with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I work with animals I must be here in and as breathe as to not impose or create separation but to work together in oneness and equality, seeing and realizing that the oneness and equality we share as me and the animal is the physical in fact, as we both can confirm it and see it and touch it and smell it, and thus trying to do things from the mind which the animal does not see and can not confirm will only confuse and harm the animal as I will do things from the mind within the idea/belief that the animal should just get it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when I get angry at animals it is me projecting my own anger of who I am within the moment towards the animal that is creating separation and thus not working and because it does not work then I get angry at myself as I am aware of what is going on within me and do not want to be self honest about it and rather take it out on the animal.

I commit myself to when and as I am working with animals to breathe and to be here in and as breathe and to practice this with no Back chat and not Ideas/beliefs and not fear.

I commit myself to when and as I work with animals to breathe and to focus on my touch one and equal here as the animal and to not have any energy movement within me as I do work with the animal to not compromise and harm the animals or myself.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself getting angry within myself to breathe within the realization that the anger is ALL me and not the animal and that I am responsible for the anger within me, and to STOP the anger and forgive myself, to focus on breathing and my touch and to support and assist myself and the animal equal and one.

I commit myself to stop myself from projecting any energy I experience within me towards animals within the realization that I am the only one possible to create any energetic experience within me as my thoughts/feelings/emotions and that animals do not have such amazing powers to control and do things as such to me, and to within in this stop me from harming/abusing another life form equal and one as me as I take Full self responsibility for what I accept and allow within me and so my actions that follow as a result of who I am.

Day 191 – Anger Misplaced towards Animals Part 2

Day 191 – Anger Misplaced towards Animals Part 2

This is the Self forgiveness from Part 1 – Anger Misplaced towards Animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach dealing with animals within a desired way of how I want things to go that is of the mind, not considering the real actuality of the physical within dealing with the animal practically and within total consideration of the animals and where the animal comes from and how they are in their beingness and to accordingly move and direct myself practically one and equal as the animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Expect immediate co-operation and teamwork that makes it easy for ME, not considering the animal and standing within the animals “shoes” only considering how I want to feel as positive when I work with the animal, seeing and realizing that this is a setup for abuse as I will react and get angry when and as I feel my expectations inst met with the animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach animals within the mind Idea of that the animal must be grateful that I am helping them and therefore the animal must submit and obey me within me doing them a favor, not seeing and realizing that the fact that the animal requires my help in the first place must show me that there is a problem within this world and that nature and the animals aren't supported and thus need human intervention and that the human is inf act the cause of their need for us to help them. Thus I am in dept to the animal and not the other way around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self righteous within the belief that the animal is in debt to me for helping the animal, not seeing and realizing that the animal has not concept of what ever I have going on in my mind as back chat and thoughts towards helping and thus does not care and so I am the only one creating and causing harm/abuse within trying to impose my mind ideas/beliefs I have onto the animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a religion out of myself where I praise myself to helping animals and caring for them and that I am willing to give up my time and to give effort to care for them and to within this religion like all and any other religion where something isnt working according to the religion attack and harm, within this case it is when the birdie isnt co-operating within the confined Ideas/beliefs I have of myself as the animal lover being able to work with animals easily and thus it isnt being easy and so get angry at the birdie for showing me my religion of myself is False and a lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated with animals when their behavior changes towards me and to take it personal and as if it about me, not seeing and realizing that the animals does not give a fuck if it is me or someone else, but that the animal is simply showing me something, and thus communicating on a physical lever while I am existing in my limited mind bubble and thus can not see what is shown to me and so I react and get angry and want to take it out on the animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that the anger I have towards the animal is always and only within and as me and thus it is only me being angry at myself as the experience is within me and I created it within participating within and as the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions that is not visible to anyone else but me, and so I can only react toward my own thoughts and get angry at me and thus directing the anger towards something/someone outside of me is self-dishonesty and abusive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am trying/attempting to help an animal get angry as soon as It is required of me to give more time and more effort and more of me and it does not work and to want to take the anger out on the animals as if they are being deliberate, not seeing and realizing that my attempts was and is but only of the mind and thus not a directive approach but rather compromising myself and the animal based on ideas and belief on what I am allowed to do and not, to help the animal, thus I see and realize that instead of me going directly to force feeding I was first trying to praise the religion of myself where I belief I have a special ability to make animals work with me and so compromise and create energy when the religion isnt getting its energy boost and thus get angry at the animal for not validating my religion of myself.

To be continued.

Day 190 – Anger misplaced towards Animals Part 1

Me with Baby Birdie PUF.

Recently me and my partner got a new birdie in our room, the birdie at first was awesome, she ate the food we gave her immediately and she ate a lot of it, she screamed and ate the food and it was all good.

I have no problem with the screaming as I have worked through sounds with the parrots a lot that we have in our room, five of them lol.

So after a day, not that long, the birdie already started changing quite quickly, I can understand as the birdie is small and the growth of the birdie happens much faster than human growth so over night change is possible – but now the feeding of the birdie has become really difficult, just like that.

So I see I have created a desired way of dealing with animals and working with them a positive way, this must be easy and co–operative and teamwork. because I am helping the birdie and thus the birdie must be grateful and show the gratefulness within working with me (this is obviously a mindfuck and self righteous within the religion of self)

So when the next day came and the birdie was asking for the food with the regular screaming she makes – I was already ready with the food as I wake up early to get it all ready and have the food still warm for her – so I wen to her with the food and I was talking to her and making noises as I know she responds to the sounds I make.

When I took the food out and she was opening her mouth and ready to receive the food. I took the food to her mouth and she suddenly closed her mouth, this was different behavior from the previous day, so I asked her what is it, here is the food eat it. This is where the opposite outcome takes play in what I desired as the negative.

She refused and I saw I had to improvise, I started making more sounds and more movements as I was trying to mimic how a bird might look like when coming in to feed the baby.

As all of this was happening I saw within my mind as a thought how she does not eat and dies suddenly or reject the food and die from starvation or even how the food we are giving her was causing her death slowly and she was trying to tell us, I became concerned about this as I now have the fear of losing the birdie while I am in direct responsibility of caring for the bird and the bird trust me with her life and I do not have a clue what is wrong and how to help her.

So as I was holding the birdie on my hand and trying to feed her, she just kept on doing the same movements, she would scream for food and she would every time move her head away from the food that I bring her and look downwards – this started to piss me off – I asked her why she is screaming for food but not taking it, it is warm and it is food that I know supports her body because we have raised a previous birdie just like her with the same food. Obviously I was only getting angry at myself because I have created an expectation of a desired outcome of how I wanted thing to be like and now it isnt as that.

So the back chat started coming up after I had the thought and the reactions to the thought – as the back chat was in response to the thoughts and emotions feeling coming from the thoughts.

The back chat was angry and reactive – I would take a deep breathe as I know that the anger isn’t real or has anything to do with her as I am the one experiencing it within me, and I am aware of the thoughts and the emotions and feelings and that they are all coming from past memories/experiences that I have had with birdies and how they all died. now I fear this happening again so I get angry at MYSELF for feeling that I might be powerless to do anything – so I went to the other option that we have used a few times that kept the birds alive.. definitely – and that is to force feed the baby birdie.
Now force feeding isnt harsh or abusive – it is simply where you take the birdie in your hands and hold her and then open her mouth and place the food in – from there she swallows the food herself.

I have been doing this now the the last few days and I am still getting angry and having back chat coming up that is self righteous and that wants to inflict punishment on the birdie for not working together – that is how I was taught in school how to deal with situations where people do not work together – Punish them with abuse and physical harm till they submit and give in.

I also see this is a pattern that plays out in my life in many other places. I also noticed that this is the exact same behavior and thoughts/backchat that takes place in all the people in the world that abuses animals in Zoo’s and in reserves and in circuses and all over the world all the time, some simply have the privacy and time and resources and authority to abuse animals extensively because such thoughts/backchat re-occur all the time and takes hold of people and possesses them even thought they started out with Good positive intentions. It is really easy if one does not have tools such as self forgiveness and daily writing and Breathing and basic understanding how how thoughts/feelings/emotions work and come from. Investigate Desteni - Join us if you dare and support and assist yourself with Eqafe Products

To be continued with self forgiveness