Day 426 – Be silent this conversation isn’t for you.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “just” be silent when and as people are speaking in a conversation with the Belief dwelling within me that I can’t take part and that what I have to say isn’t of importance and I will just not be able to have an Intellectual participation with them.

When and as I see myself seeing a point that others might need to look at or see within a conversation happening and I decide within myself to NOT speak and just be silent from the belief that I will just sound stupid and not meet their intellectual standard of communication – I stop, I breathe and I check myself what I want to say and I give to myself in the moment the chance to speak and to voice the common sense or perspective within me from and as the starting point of clarity within me first.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distance myself from conversations through being “just” silent as a a way so that when the conversation goes Bad or does not meet end’s I can have the Justification for myself at least I was silent and did not say anything as to wash my hands off from the outcome either way.

When and as I see I am in the pattern of just sitting in a conversation and leaving the conversation up to the other people to have and to communicate and thus indirectly making it ONLY the other peoples responsibility of what’s being discussed and thus the outcomes, I stop, I breathe and I realize that either way I am responsible in all conversations I am in if I am speaking or not as I am a witness and thus a direct/indirect participant and that being silent when I know I have something to say within clarity and common sense and yet keep quiet I am in fact responsible for that outcome as I had the key to a different one yet kept quit due to some mental self-belief and Idea I have about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in a Lesser position in relation to other when there is a conversation happening or a meeting as a deliberate way just not to feel responsible and thus taking responsibility and to take on the character of being silent and just Judging and pointing fingers in my own mind at those who are actually participating and taking a stand.

When and as I see myself just sitting and being silent and judging and pointing fingers at those who are within the conversation taking a stand as a position to be a speaker/representative for a moment as a perspective – I stop, I breathe and I’d look at what it is I am judging and pointing fingers at within those doing the speaking as those will/are the points that I am holding within me as the fears/reasons for why I have taken on the position of inferiority and thus the silent character to not speak and strand equally and being a participant of the direct outcome of the words/actions where its directed to what’s best for all in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that before I can speak/talk about anything that I require to have a point of authority as knowledge and information within me to be able to speak, I stop and I realize that within such an approach I will wait forever and it will take forever to obtain such a point of knowledge and information to be able to partake, and thus it’s a mental Block that isolates me in a prison of fear/anxiety of being lesser than or inferior , and thus I can rely on myself and what’s here as the common sense as the ability to learn naturally in the moment within actually taking part and not just accept the outsider waiting to someday becoming superior to only then built the courage to learn.

When and as I see myself stuck within the belief of myself of that I do not have the current knowledge and information to take part in this conversation that might even determine the future of my life or the life on earth and thus I can’t say anything and must just be SILENT like a kid not allowed to talk with adults and adult things even though they talk about everything that includes you, I stop, I breathe – I push myself to speak and to be like WATER to be flexible to learn in the moment and to use and utilize what I learn within common sense and what’s best for all life as the common grounds that we are all living on, and to not be limited by the moment and to go beyond my own self-belief and to push myself beyond any belief and remain here in breathe.

Day 425 – I am breaking a habit tonight

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Justify not doing my responsibilities through saying I was/am too busy without even taking the time to consider my time and my priorities and to see if I really am busy or not or if it’s all just here in the mind at the moment.

When and as I see myself wanting to justify why I haven’t been doing my responsibilities through saying I am too busy – I stop, I breathe and I take a moment o consider myself here in the moment and what I am doing and what I have planned to do and to actually check and see if I am too busy or not and to then move and direct myself accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be occupied with the mind and to keep myself busy with the mind within thinking and planning and worrying and building fear and anxiety and back chat and to miss out on the real time I have here to do things and to then claim I was busy, seeing and realizing that being busy in the mind isn’t being busy, it is a distractions from what is here that needs to get done.

When and as I see myself Believing that I am busy where I am only busy within thought/mind I stop, I breathe and I look at what I am busy with, am I creating limitation as energy/mind as the fears/worrying or am I actually busy using my body and my hands and my words and all that is here that matters and actually doing something real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use casual things that I do as a way of keeping me busy through repeating doing them over and over such as having a coffee or quickly checking up on something or watching one episode casually to much or talking to other people casually too much and to use this as a way of saying I was busy as an excuse for me to get to actual things that require to get done.

When and as I see myself doing something that is seen as casual “to much” as a way of distractions for myself and to have a justification/reason for why I did not attend my responsibilities – I stop, I breathe and I get my ass out of the Casual routine before I become a casualty of my own self sabotaging patterns and to move myself to do what’s needed to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself “just this one more” before I get to my responsibilities as a way of repeating the same pattern over again such as having another coffee/drink/food etc and to postpone getting to the duties because I have created an Idea of getting to them and that they are difficult things to do while these small minute patterns are easy and better and thus lose all my time that I had through repeating the small easy patterns over and over and not getting to the realness of the other duties, and thus the Idea of the other duties grow bigger and bigger in my head and thus I get stuck in the small patterns more and more and never really seeing what’s real or not anymore, and that the only way out in the end is to simply move myself to see/find out for myself the reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself repeating the small patterns over and over where I will do small minded things like having three coffees in a row and talk small pity things with others that’s useless, or spend my time just sitting on the stoop as If I just came from working hard and I am resting as a way/reason for why I am sitting there and not moving myself to do things that matter and that’s is of moving forward, I STOP, I BREATHE and I stand up from the pattern and I go to that point of resistance and I push myself to breathe and do it, and to stop wasting time where I keep myself busy with mind/minute things and to actually do things that matter and that’s best for all.

Day 424 - The Little Patterns

I have been exploring my daily life for a couple of years now, this means that I have been exploring myself and who I am within my daily life, this means that for the past six years I have been seeing and investigating my own patterns, because the patterns are what we live/do, what I have been living and doing. And the patterns are the outflow of who I am as the physical living.

This is why I am investigating and exploring patterns within my daily living, to see who I am, as that who I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as the living flesh as the words I speak and live.

I have within using and utilizing the Desteni material and the tools that are given changed and altered many of my own patterns, the positive ones – or should I say the seemingly positive ones and the negative ones. And I have taken on many of my major/big patterns that I thought was unchangeable before I ever came to Desteni and started investigating and applying the tools for myself over many years and actually living it, actually applying it and to actually see the real physical effects that are measurable by myself and by others.

Now here I have after six years discovered one small point, this point is quite significant when I actually look at it, in all the many years that I have been investigating myself and changing or stopping or alternating patterns I have still many – these many are the ones I could not see, or did not want to see, and they are small patterns, small things I do, the way I type, the way I walk, the way I breath, the way I hold my hands in certain conversations or how I suddenly speak or make remarks, and this is interesting because they are hard to notice, I say hard because I have accepted and allowed it all as Normal – Plus my entire environment has also accepted and allowed it.

So here I am looking at the patterns/points of what is it that I am not looking at or seeing or keeping alive as patterns simply because my environment hasn’t given me yet feedback on them.

And why is it okay for me to live these patterns that my environment has not given me feedback on, do I require my environment to change who I am – yes it definitely has an effect, yet I am always the one who accepts and allows it, I am the one self-responsible for who I am and the patterns that I become as a living being as what I do in each moment in the details of patterns, because those details are also patterns within the pattern that supports all other patterns and parts of me and thus my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Ignore the small patterns that I participate within during my day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the small patterns within my day as not being important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the small patterns as being small patterns, instead of seeing them as patterns and that requires me to self-investigate these patterns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not looking/investigating some patterns because I have defined them as being small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate some patterns just because they come up once in a while on some days and thus see them as small and that they do not need to be investigated and corrected through making them small in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist looking at patterns that I have defined and judged as being small and not important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as a waste of time and energy to look/investigate patterns that I have defined in my head as small and not important.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be self-righteousness about why I am not investigating/looking into the small patterns that occur daily or sometimes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as acceptable to not look at patterns that I have gotten comfortable with around other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the patterns that I have defined as small as Normal just because I can get away with participating within them around other people and no one says anything.

When and as I see myself as shoving a pattern aside just because I have defined it with my own judgment as a small patter, I stop – I breathe and I slow down, I give myself the moment to see what the pattern is in and as the Physical here and not through the mind as my thoughts/feelings/emotions within my limited perspective on it and to not judge/define it as small or big but to rather see it as a patterns that needs to be taken self-responsibility for.

I commit myself to write out all my patterns for myself and to not shove it away as small or big and to give myself the time to do self-forgiveness if not possible in the moment and to then self-correct and re align myself as what’s best for all as myself within and as the physical.

When and as I see myself Judging a Pattern I stop, I breathe I stop the judgment and the thinking process of judging/justifying and I see what’s physically here and what the pattern physically support, if it is either best for all or not.

When and as I see myself NOT wanting to face a small pattern just because of how I have defined/judged the pattern as small and thus resist it, I stop, I breathe and I push myself to correct myself within the pattern not matter how small and to see what is here and thus take self-responsibility.

When and as I see that I am within a “small” pattern that I have accepted as Normal just because others do not give me feedback and thus I continue playing it out, even though I know it’s not supportive or best for all – I stop, I breathe and I focus on supporting myself in Breathe and to correct myself to stand within my own correction that is in alignment with what’s best for all life as myself for myself and to not rely on others to give me feedback but to be self-honest with myself and to trust myself.

Day 423 - Father to Be Part 3 commitments

Continueing from Day 422 - Father and my Baby Part 2

When and as I see that I am anticipating the birth date of my baby, I stop, I breathe and I focus here on the moment, as I see and realize that anticipation practically has no purpose but to make me jumpy and stressful and thus influencing my actions/words and thoughts which then has an equal and one influence on everything I do in the meantime and thus when the moment comes when it comes I will not be effective or direct within the situation, seeing and realizing that what’s best for all and thus me Is to breathe and let go of any and all experiences as thoughts/feelings/emotions.

I commit myself to remain practical, within giving myself a practical script to stand and live by when and as the moment arrives that the baby is ready to come, and to script this practical moment within common sense and to then let go of the Idea/Belief/opinions about the moment in the future as a projection and to bring my focus back here.

When and as I see that I am resisting to say “my baby” I stop and I breathe and I let go of the energy as a negative experience as my own self judgment to saying those words and I breathe and say the words My baby within the starting point of remaining practical as the words are simply referring to my baby, the being that I am responsible for, and thus not possess as I made it up in my mind.

When and as I see that I am finding it unbelievable that I have a baby – I stop, I breathe – seeing and realizing that it isn’t a matter of belief or changing my belief about the facts in my head of me having a baby, as facts are facts and thus I must bring myself out of Belief as the mind and BREATH and be here within and as the Physical, focusing on what is here as the physical as me here with a baby.

When and as I see that I am participating within my mind within a belief of me being a father – I stop, I breathe and I forgive myself for making it a matter of belief instead of seeing that it’s a matter of fact and that’s what matters.

Thus committing myself to write and explore the moment where I am within a belief of myself of being a father and why and how I have created the belief and why I am participating within such limitation instead of breathing and being here as the living principle of what’s best for all life.

When and as I see that I am engaging within a system of beliefs within myself of myself or from the world as to what it means or must mean to be a father – I stop, I breathe – seeing and realizing that what the system or what I have been taught about what a father must be and that has formed my belief/disbelief of myself about becoming a father isn’t effective or best for all life, as this system Belief of what a father must be has never produced children that becomes the adults that produces the world as it is currently as a world that Is heaven on earth not what’s best for all life, and thus making this belief of what a father must be according to the system that many are attempting to live up to Void and invalid and must be forgiven and a new way of fatherhood must be given as a solution to what’s best for all life.

When and as I see that I am within the fear of being a bad father – I stop, I breathe and I focus on what is here as physical reality and how to direct the physical reality to that which is best for all life within the guiding principles of Love thy neighbor as thy self and do onto another as you would like to be done onto, instead of blindly following a system of good and bad which produces a system of good and bad instead of equality and oneness that is best for all Life.

Day 422 – Father and My Baby Part 2

continuing from Day 421 - Father to be SOON Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Anticipate the date of Birth for my Baby.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist saying my baby, seeing and realizing that I have a judgment towards saying my baby as a possession.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative experience to the word possession and to add the word possession to the sentence “my baby” – seeing and realizing that it is My baby as I am responsible for the baby and eventually raising the baby to become a Adult that will be his own being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it funny to say the words “my Baby”, seeing and realizing that saying the words “my baby” and finding it funny is because of the belief I have created for myself as a teenager where I saw that I would only have a baby at a much older age and now that I have a baby at this younger age it is unbelievable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it “unbelievable” that I am going to be a father and have a baby – seeing and realizing that I only find it unbelievable because of a Belief that I have created about myself in my mind in relation to being a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a Belief of myself that I am unable to be a father and now that the point is here with me being a father and having a baby I stand within the point of disbelief of my own self-created belief, seeing and realizing that all beliefs must be deleted and that I must focus on what is here, no matter what the belief is that I have about myself – I stop and I breathe, I focus on reality and common sense and practicality within walking and living and breathing the principle of what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a Belief of myself in relation to being a father and to within this in opposite create disbelief within myself as well within being a father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear that I will not be a good father, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a bad father.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that to be a father is a Good/bad relationship, seeing and realizing that being a father within its natural definition of the word is simply a reference to a man/being who has created a baby/child/being with another and thus is responsible for this being/child/baby till the baby/child/being stands on its own and lives his/her own life within the principles and teaching that the father has passed on through being a Living example of what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complicate the word Father and what it must mean within the eyes of others, instead of keeping it simple and real within what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself as being a father – seeing and realizing that this judgment is the Judgment that I have placed onto others who has been father or become fathers and within my secret mind, and now that I am to be a father the Judgment is placed upon myself, as I have done onto another I am doing onto myself.

to be continued. 

Day 421 – SOON to be a Father - Part 1

 

2 - 4 weeks to go...

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create pre occupational ideas/beliefs of what it might be being a father to a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that what my relationship was as a child towards my father was right or wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my child hood with my father/mother relationship as good or bad.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to look at my childhood and see what is practical and what is not, what is best for all life and what isn’t and to accordingly use within common sense what’s best for all within raising my child, to learn from the past and to change, and to not run away or hide or resist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try/attempt to use my childhood within raising my child, seeing and realizing that this is simply repeating the past and creating a copy of my past onto the child’s life, instead of breathing and LIVING here within common sense and practicality so that my child can live his life and not my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access past memories/experiences of my childhood and project it within my child future as a point of FEAR, seeing and realizing how I not have already predetermined my relationship with my child as a projected memory where I already see how I will instead live or do things that is in avoidance to what I have experienced or seen or done in the past, seeing and realizing that this is exactly what my parents did and their parents and yet it never works as this is how the sins of the fathers work, as its creating separation instead of understanding and thus self-forgiveness and correction within what’s best for all life as the living principle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT slow down and check myself in each moment and what is here moving within me, so that I can see if I am clear and moving in breathe in the present as Life or am I moving as the mind as thoughts/feelings/emotions as the baggage of the past and thus smudging the past and tainting the future with the past and thus recreating the past instead of moving forward.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that where there is fear there is where I am making the mistake of moving, instead of breathing and self-forgiving the fear and moving in clarity as breathe here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that fear is the past made bigger and more then what the past was and then placing that in the present moment as a total delusion of reality when in fact it’s NOT so/here and what is here is completely simple.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that my past as my thoughts/feelings/emotions that comes from memories that comes from moments that I created experiences within myself within certain moments and that I have defined myself as those moments/experiences/memories/thoughts/feelings/emotions has any value or anything valid within them as to how to raise my child and what’s best for all life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to simply trust myself as the physical as common sense and practicality as living what’s best for all life in each moment within my integrity as Who I AM, and to trust me as the Physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that any thoughts/feelings/emotions within me of the mind as memories has any value to them as what has been done to me by those that has gone before me within placing value in the past as memories through stories that has been told within raising me, and that this is valuable within raising my child, seeing and realizing that within such teachings one is only teaching the child how to chain oneself to the past and to live in the past instead of being present and breathing here.

To be continued.

Next on more specific points and SCS.

Day 420 - I am Belief Part 8

Day 419 – I am Belief. 

When and as I see that I am accessing a belief system within myself that I have about myself or towards myself – I stop – I breathe and I slow down, I check myself and why I am within the certain belief system of myself and why I am living as this belief/limitation and to correct myself within the realization that NO belief is ever real or valid, as I see and realize that any and all Beliefs are Lies made up in the mind.

When and as I see myself Living a Belief that I have created about myself or the world/others – I stop - I breathe, I check myself if I am here living in and as the physical as that which is real and measurable or if I am in the mind as Thoughts/feelings/emotions/back-chat that is not serving me or life to be the potential I can be as Life one and equal – as I see and realize that the Beliefs I have of myself the world/others is but only Knowledge and Information that I have made up or gotten and have accepted and allowed Knowledge and information to be real – Instead I see and realize that it is within each breathe as the Physical that I will see what’s here and real and thus no knowledge and information required to add to what’s already here as the Physical.

When and as I see myself Finding it hard to stop a belief because I have created a Belief of what is to be expected after stopping a Belief – I stop – I breathe, I slow myself down and I focus on my breathing and what’s here in the moment as the physical, using my smell, my sight, my touch and my hearing and my Physical presence as me to get real to Be LIFE instead of a Be LIEF.

When and as I see myself living/acting in accordance towards something that I belief of myself towards something that I am accepting and allowing to move me as a response to create disbelief or to create the belief as real, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here in each breathe each moment and focus on what I am doing and see/realize what’s real.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am creating beliefs about myself in my mind to stop and to breathe and to check why am I creating a belief about myself as a Image or Likeness within my mind – to sit down to write it out and to expose the belief system of limitation and to not accept and allow myself to be anything less or more then what’s here as the Physical within self-perfection.

To Be Continued.

Day 419 – I am Belief. Part 7

Day 418 - Word Belief lived/created Part 6

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create more beliefs everyday about myself and the world through back-chat and secret mind BS within and as the Idea that I can use beliefs to undo old beliefs, seeing and realizing that it does not matter what Belief I create if it is positive or negative the system remains the same, a beliefs as an energetic experience motivation to move or not move that feeds off the body off the flesh of Life to sustain its short period of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs in the attempt to create or make something more then what is here within each breathe/moment just to feel something called an emotion/feeling to feel my life has a meaning, something more than what is here within simplicity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything Physical that is here just so that I can belief I am smart because of the Beliefs I can make up/create out of what’s here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything from why the earth is round to why I am not gaining weight or to why I love or hate certain things or why a dog is a dog and a mouse a mouse just to feel that I have some sort of intellectual power over what’s here as I am creating all these beliefs about everything here that makes sense and seem so smart and where when I sell these beliefs to others they seem to agree and they seem to acknowledge the intellect within my beliefs and thus it means my beliefs must be so true and so real and so Solid as facts.

Seeing and realizing that all I am doing is building a prison around myself a=of beliefs or knowledge and information that I must not remember all the time taking all my time just to keep this system alive within myself of not having to feel any less then.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I have created a world of beliefs in my mind within myself as a prison for myself and my mind to always be limited within these beliefs just so that the mind can keep on feeding off the energy the beliefs are creating within my prison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of everything that is here in fear of what is here as the truth as the facts of reality and to instead create a belief to justify to reason to excuse me from reality and to not to have to take full self-responsibility as a co-creator.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am in a prison of my mind where I create beliefs about reality and me within reality just so that I can make myself seem more within reality and what is here and thus enslave and imprison myself within these beliefs of myself and reality to a self-create world in my mind, like copying what is in fact here into my mind into all my beliefs of myself in relation to the world/reality and to then live life from this illusion through my mind first then in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live through my mind as my beliefs of/about reality and myself as the illusions/delusions in my mind as the definitions I have attached to all that is here and what these definitions are within my own personal relationships towards the words/reality and to then live accordingly to this self-created Belief or reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to interact in a indirect way within reality within the physical through first looking at what’s here and then copy what’s here and imprint it into my mind as a picture and then to add my Beliefs to the picture and my definitions to the picture and all that’s in the picture and to then after adding all my own self-created beliefs and limitation to the picture in my mind I take that picture with all the newly added knowledge and information I am past it over reality as the physical as a mental projection and then to only move/direct myself within this delusion I have created from and as my mind.

To Be continued.

Day 418 - Word Beleif Lived/created Part 6

Continuing from Day 417 - Word Belief lived/created Part 5

NOW – I have re-enforced this belief with self-created Physical evidence, this mean it will be WAY harder for me to gain weight with my next attempt, I just now proofed to myself and everyone in my environment that I can’t gain weight no matter what I eat or drink.

So now I can even go deeper – where did I create the Belief that I need to gain weight, why has this become a problem for me, why do I have this urgent need to want to gain weight – where does this belief come from that I must gain weight before a certain age and time in my life – weight being muscles, looking physically healthy and not skinny and weak/sick.

I was fine with my Physical body/weight up until I went to my second primary school in grade two – when there was more Boys and more other children and people – I noticed that I was physically smaller than the other boys, and this meant they had an advantage over me physically, which made me feel insecure and vulnerable.

Which was the case, the smaller I was in comparison to the other boys the more I would be pushed around and get bullied and all those kind of stuff, I am an easier target.

Yet here I was young, I saw within the years to come that all the other boys was growing bigger and getting more muscles and stronger, when I was basically still skinny and smaller and could not play for instance Rugby, as they would just crush me with their bodies. But I was amazing in athletics.

So I had the Belief that my time will come, I will catch up with the other boys, just wait, you know how we change with time and age, my Mother especially always said, just give it time, your body will develop in your teenage years. When my teenage years came and I was in high school with even more people around from all over the town in one place, with guys that look like muscle builders and that is strong and tall and that have everything we call a real man, I still remained this fucking skinny guy.

While my best friend was shorter than me by at least four inches, he at least weighed sixty six Kilograms at the age of sixteen. And he looked skinny to me – I who was taller and who was also sixteen only weighed fifty five kilograms. WTF. When is this fucking change coming my mother talked about? Why am I not growing up, why am I not maturing, why am I not becoming a man.

So within ALL this time that has passed, I had to create a reason a excuse for other people in my environment why I am not becoming a man, why I am not changing and maturing and getting bigger and gaining weight/muscles – so I turned to Knowledge and information to give me explanation within this time, I used excuses like it’s in my DNA, its my GENETICS, it is my physical design, yes sure it is, but I made a Belief out of it, I used this Belief and I sold it to everyone, so that I could feel better about myself, I used this Belief that it’s my physical design, look I am skinny but check how strong I am, I was strong and I won’t deny it.

So now I made up within all this time a belief about myself – I belief it’s my DNA and my genetics and it runs in the family and within this its unchangeable, it is set in stone, I am sorry ladies but this is my design and I am stuck within it., the design is slim but with strong toned muscles inside, because I was able to do everything everyone else did only weighing fifty six kilograms at the age of eighteen. Se how I re-enforced the belief by making it into something special, I made my limitation special, I accepted it as fact and I made it special to feel special so that I don’t have to feel inferior or left out or less than.

To be continued on Self forgiveness.

Day 417 – Word Belief lived/created Part 5

Day 413 - Belief Part 1
Day 414 - Belief Part 2
Day 415 - Belief Part 3
Day 416 – Belief Part4

How does Belief have an actual effect on the Physical – Since belief is something that exists just in our minds how can Belief have an actual physical effect on Us and the world.

It is simple – when I belief something within me I am giving the belief permission to direct me and my actions and thus what I physically do and say - then as I am doing this and Billions of others - we all create physical consequences that are created from beliefs/mind through the actions and words we live.

Then how is belief created – where does the Idea come from that to believe something is enough, to have a belief is good, to live by beliefs is cool. How did I create Beliefs within myself/about myself and how did I actually manifest the belief to make it a fact, where I can say SEE here is the evidence the facts of my belief is real. It is true, look as I said what I believed before about myself or something or anything.

I have a cool point of how I have created a Belief in my life, in my world and with my body that I am still working on. I have been working on this Belief about myself for at least eleven years.

This belief is the Belief that I cannot gain weight, I cannot change my physical weight at all, no matter how much I eat or drink no matter what weight/muscle mass gaining proteins I take, I can’t gain weight. I have twelve years behind me where I have been DOING it, eating and drinking shakes and all that crap to gain weight/mass.

I CAN gain weight, it isn’t magical or impossible, it isn’t a set fact that I can’t gain weight/mass – I have over many many years created and engrained within myself the Belief that I cannot gain weight, and while I do whatever I can I don’t gain weight. Because while I drink that protein shake or eat three steaks and a big plate of food eight times a day, I go inside myself, this isn’t going to work, my body will just burn this away, I can’t gain weight from this, I probably will never gain weight with this, this is just my physical design, I am limited within my physical design, My mother and my cousins and all my friends keep on saying I am skinny – even though I eat more than them and eat “healthier than them, they keep saying I am skinny.

There is a quick example of what supports the Belief – so how does it make a difference within me gaining weight or not – if I am going to eat a lot of food for the next three months to see if the Diet works so I can gain weight and I go full on into this diet with the predetermined expectation that it will not work, then it will not work. Because I am giving my body the input/belief that it will not work, basically saying DON’T work. So now as I eat this new diet and I do it for three months and I check on the scale and I was consistent and I did everything I can to support the diet. I see I did not gain any weight, whala – my belief that I have about myself not being able to gain weight is real.

Day 417 - Belief and self Part 5

Day 413 - Belief and self Part1
Day 414 - Belief and self Part2
Day 415 - Belief and self Part3
Day 416 - Belief and self Part 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs out of myself and who I am or must be and thus what I am supposed to live and live up to, seeing and realizing that this is all past experiences that I have now created into future projections that now has become me walking my past as my future and thus only walking in circles and never reaching these beliefs I have created of myself for myself in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and take what I or others belief of me as true, seeing and realizing that for it to be true I must accept and allow it to be so, and thus a belief has not power, no actual real effect on me unless I accept and allow it as who I am and thus live the belief out as real. Using what is real as the physical here in each breathe to create what are illusions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a belief of myself such as I must be stupid, that it isn’t so as it’s only a belief and that it is me keeping the belief alive that prevents me from seeing what’s here and dealing with what’s here as solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I am stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the belief of I am stupid to exist within and as me and to let this belief govern and determine what I can or cannot do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by what I belief of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be governed by the belief I have about myself as being stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create self-definitions as belief systems of myself from past events/experiences where I have judged myself as stupid instead of breathing and correcting myself and to Not label myself as stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry my past with me all the time within the beliefs that I have created and uphold about myself as being stupid. 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I can in fact change what I belief of myself, to go from belief to actual living application, seeing and realizing that this requires me to correct myself in and as the physical to Stop the belief and to live the corrections that is required to correct the physical consequences I have created for myself through time to be stupid all because I accepted and allowed a belief of myself to exist within me of being stupid.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that when and as I have a belief of myself as being weak, that it is the belief that will keep me in that state of mind and thus direct my physical actions or emotional body to meet the expectations of the belief, instead of stopping the belief and see what’s here in each breathe and dealing/working with what’s here as the problem and the solution within actual real time feedback and to within this NOT define me according to the feedback or the results mis-takes, but to instead work towards self-perfection, where I stand within me here in and as the physical and perfecting myself as what’s here and to correct.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea about what is weak and what is strong and to within this choose a side according to the Idea/belief I have created through physical events/experiences where I then place myself in a category of weak or strong and to then create a belief of myself that I must life this belief as myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within a physical reality where we all have different bodies and different strengths and weaknesses physically, that I cannot create an Idea/belief of what’s weak and what’s strong but instead I can see with My body with my capabilities where I have weaknesses and strengths and to focus on self-perfection within what is here as me as my physical and to push myself to better myself and to be the most I can be, and that the equality within all life that is here isn’t to be equally strong or weak or capable but to that we are equal within the substance of life and being here sharing this life and thus I must realign myself within my physical body within doing what’s best for all life such as self-perfecting myself Not based on beliefs but on actual real physical feedback. 

To be continued.