16 Days of no Coffee – answering some questions and sharing

Today is the 16^th day of not drinking Coffee. 

Why? 

I will start with the WHY because every time I say I stopped drinking coffee people seem to freak out and make it as if I am stupid for doing so, or as if I am weak for being able to stop drinking coffee, almost as if I decided not to be part of a cult and take part in this cults rituals anymore and now the cult is kind of turning on me as a previous member. 

So, let me say why in many dimensions of the question. 

I stopped because I am walking a process of purifying myself within and through self-forgiveness in writing self-forgiveness and taking self-responsibility for what exist here as me, yet I have seen and realized that I must also at the same time purify my outer, what I do and participate within as my habits, patterns and addictions. 

Because I have come to realize that drinking coffee isn’t MY decision anymore, it has become a decision that was being made for me, this is obviously a problem. 

It is a Problem because it has become habitual, thus controlling my behaviors, my habits and even forming them all according to coffee. Thus coffee became my master and I the slave. This has placed a massive restriction on my movement, flexibility on a daily basis, like driving on the road and finding there are unnecessary bumps/humps in the road to slow down the car from moving, and eventually causing damage to the car, consuming more fuel, all the stopping or slowing down and going, drinking coffee became exhausting and at times compromised me and my body where coffee would overwrite drinking water or having a meal. 

I would generally drink 6 cups a day and on some days I would even push it to 12. This has been so for YEARS and I would sometimes joke and say, I am 70% water and literally see drinking coffee as me fueling up, filling up. This has exposed my addiction that I judged as normal and okay. 

When I look at the money spend on coffee at home and the amount of precious water consumed for making coffee, not to mention the milk and electronics and electricity on a daily basis multiple times, the addiction did not just harm me but in the end it is having a consequence on reality – Imagine billions of people doing this daily all around the world. 

Now, coffee isn’t bad, it can be enjoyed daily, I would say one or two cups as a support for the body in times that it is required, like a medicine, but at the rate I have been consuming it and seeing and knowing how others also do it, it is an overdose for all of us humans, not to mention how much each and every person is spending when they go out on their coffees and their chinos and all the other types of coffees. 

I once asked a lady that works at Seattle which specializes in coffees – almost like a Star Bucks, how much milk they use daily for making all the peoples coffees and other orders that is coffee, and she replied, the most has been 600 Liters a day. This was but one shop making coffee of the dozens in the same area I know of. I asked this because the coffee usage was obviously a LOT, but I was curious about the milk, so I realized I also had a milk addiction with my coffee. 

I also know about the coffee industry and the abuse that is taking place there with the people actually working in the fields, harvesting the great beans that we grind up and then drink away and piss out, not to mention the abuse of the earth and the soil, the amount of land and natural habitats that had to be destroyed and most probably that are being destroyed right now to keep up with our demands for coffee. The earth is truly losing. 

Back to self – I am re-birthing myself, and I have stopped many addictions over the years, and I find myself stuck with a few, and these few are truly over powering my daily living to a certain degree. I was only able to see to what degree it was once I stopped and pushed through the initial pain of stopping which I experienced. 

The extent to which this one particular addiction was in control of my life, my daily movement and living is something that I would not be able to place in words as I experienced the Freedom after day three for others, but I can say, it was as if a chain has been loosened from my leg and I could more freely direct and move myself within space time. 

This is but the more daily experience, not to mention the bodily changes. I started feeling a lot more stable, grounded and I was less high on energy but had more energy that was moving at a practical pace instead of like a racing car. 

Day 1 – on day 1 when I stopped I went through the initial I want one, just one more for today, maybe tomorrow it will be better and then I can stop fully, but I breathed and stopped that thought and experience, to not lead myself into temptation and deceive myself, as I have faced this multiple times and I know it never works for me, so I had to go full out and embrace whatever comes my way and to trust that it will NOT be for ever, and so I walked with that trust that it will not be forever, simply breathe and move myself. I drank a lot more water and ate quite a bit more and different foods, which in return supported my body a lot more than having a quick coffee. I had MASSIVE headaches and did not talk about them at all on day one but simply breathed. I also did not talk about quitting coffee with anyone till I knew I have lived it and pushed through, thus on day three I was clear and spoke out. 

Day 2 – This was the worst, I went to bed the previous night with a headache and slept with it and woke up with it and so I worked as usual all day in the sun with laborious work with this massive headache. After the day was over with work, I decided to get some support with this massive headache, and thus I took one headache pill. Within 15min the headache was gone and I felt amazing, this allowed me to have a great sleep that night and then I woke up Feeling refreshed and coffee free.

I started smelling coffee more and noticing the smell in the house from others making a pot, my body had a natural reaction on a physical level of feeling repelled to it.  This supported me even further. For the next couple of days I had a small moment of a headache every now and then, but drank some water or some juice and then it was all good. 

On day 15 I took a small cup of coffee out of curiosity what it would be like to have some now. I took a few sips and I did not enjoy it at all, it was bitter and not as I remembered it LOL. So this I found interesting, I drank the entire small cup (100ml cup) and then I felt disgusted in my body by the coffee. Five minutes later I started noticing my entire body was vibrating and mostly in my solar plexus area, this I focused on to see what was happening, it was as if I just injected adrenaline into my veins and I started experiencing a physical anxiety within me.  I did not enjoy this experience as I felt more disconnected with my body and not grounded, I got easily more triggered. Within this I also noticed how I was abusing my body by not being able to be in tune with my body and what’s going on with my body to being on this adrenaline rush. 

This has been my journey thus far, and still continuing with no coffee, there is no set limit or amount of time that I will not be drinking coffee. Maybe forever, maybe I will have a cup every now and then in the future. 

Thanks for reading and enjoy.

Day 425 – I am breaking a habit tonight

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Justify not doing my responsibilities through saying I was/am too busy without even taking the time to consider my time and my priorities and to see if I really am busy or not or if it’s all just here in the mind at the moment.

When and as I see myself wanting to justify why I haven’t been doing my responsibilities through saying I am too busy – I stop, I breathe and I take a moment o consider myself here in the moment and what I am doing and what I have planned to do and to actually check and see if I am too busy or not and to then move and direct myself accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be occupied with the mind and to keep myself busy with the mind within thinking and planning and worrying and building fear and anxiety and back chat and to miss out on the real time I have here to do things and to then claim I was busy, seeing and realizing that being busy in the mind isn’t being busy, it is a distractions from what is here that needs to get done.

When and as I see myself Believing that I am busy where I am only busy within thought/mind I stop, I breathe and I look at what I am busy with, am I creating limitation as energy/mind as the fears/worrying or am I actually busy using my body and my hands and my words and all that is here that matters and actually doing something real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use casual things that I do as a way of keeping me busy through repeating doing them over and over such as having a coffee or quickly checking up on something or watching one episode casually to much or talking to other people casually too much and to use this as a way of saying I was busy as an excuse for me to get to actual things that require to get done.

When and as I see myself doing something that is seen as casual “to much” as a way of distractions for myself and to have a justification/reason for why I did not attend my responsibilities – I stop, I breathe and I get my ass out of the Casual routine before I become a casualty of my own self sabotaging patterns and to move myself to do what’s needed to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself “just this one more” before I get to my responsibilities as a way of repeating the same pattern over again such as having another coffee/drink/food etc and to postpone getting to the duties because I have created an Idea of getting to them and that they are difficult things to do while these small minute patterns are easy and better and thus lose all my time that I had through repeating the small easy patterns over and over and not getting to the realness of the other duties, and thus the Idea of the other duties grow bigger and bigger in my head and thus I get stuck in the small patterns more and more and never really seeing what’s real or not anymore, and that the only way out in the end is to simply move myself to see/find out for myself the reality.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself repeating the small patterns over and over where I will do small minded things like having three coffees in a row and talk small pity things with others that’s useless, or spend my time just sitting on the stoop as If I just came from working hard and I am resting as a way/reason for why I am sitting there and not moving myself to do things that matter and that’s is of moving forward, I STOP, I BREATHE and I stand up from the pattern and I go to that point of resistance and I push myself to breathe and do it, and to stop wasting time where I keep myself busy with mind/minute things and to actually do things that matter and that’s best for all.