Bernard Poolman Quote Number 1 - Practical Application in Writing

First - Getting it, that thoughts are not normal. 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to fully consider in all dimensions how the mind functions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the mind as just something that is here and that it needs no further attention from me as to research and study the functions within all of its dimensions of and as the mind to truly understand that which I use every day.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to consider truly what the mind is in fact as MYSELF as the creator and user of this tool that currently runs my life, my world and so all that is within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK (using the mind) that it will be too much for me to handle to understand the mind within all its dimensions and how it functions through walking my process of writing, self-forgiveness, and breathing.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to be humble within learning about the mind, consciousness, thoughts, feelings, and emotions through taking on my process with Desteni/Eqafe and all the tools available to gain the access that is here of the research and investigations that have been done, to learn about the very thing I use daily, and that in fact at this moment has authority over me and my life yet have no understanding of how it works, and so no directive within my own life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that the MIND as the very thing I use daily that has control over me, evident by the fact that there is me talking to myself, a voice talking to me, thoughts coming up within me, feelings and emotions possessing me, without me knowing why or how and for what reasons and yet directing my life in every possible way, is the one thing that will also try every trick in the book to prevent me from gaining authority as LIFE, as the mind is an AI system that has taken charge of the body and wants to stay in control.

I forgive myself that I also have NOT seen and realized that the MINd is me and that I have given the mind permission through my acceptances and allowances of TIME to control, direct and enslave me to its designs of energy such as thoughts, feelings, and emotions, using my experiences against me to remain in control. and so WHEN I want to stand up, listen to Eqafe, write, apply self-forgiveness, the MIND who has my permission will inject me with any experience as to paralyze me to actually move myself, may it be with tiredness, lethargy, excitement, thoughts of entertainment, it knows me better than I know myself and so I can and will lead me into temptation, and so I see that I must WILL myself within this process to MOVE regardless of what the mind throws at me and BREATHE out of the thoughts, experiences and move to what I set myself out to do within my process.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that what I am dealing with as me here currently is, in fact, YEARS of accumulated and layered thoughts within me, as memories, as experiences, as self-definitions, as self-values that I have to work through and move through within myself, and so I see and realize that I must not be hard on myself, yet disciplined, willed.

I forgive myself that I have NOT been self-honest about how thoughts come and accumulate if I do not forgive them effectively, and not come and go as I would like to think. Thus seeing and realizing that every single thought has a consequence within and as me and will reveal itself again to me after mutating, until I stop the thought, see the thought, understand the thought, where it comes from, what is it's purpose and playout consequences and so stand one4 and equal as the thought as me and thus not giving it power/authority over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify certain thoughts as needed and some thoughts as necessary based on an event that happened, or something that might happen, or how I feel, may it be happy or stressed, and so give way to thoughts to play and dance around in my mind, within my body and take control as MIND CONTROL of me as the being here as life.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that any thought that I accept and allow gives acceptance and allowance to all thoughts, as a thought (negative or positive) is regarded as a thought by the mind and all the mind cares about is being FED energy as illusion as an addiction, and not what the thought represents, as the MIND cares for energy, does not matter the polarity of it, as long as there is polarity to keep creating and manifesting friction/stimulation to generate more energy as to prevent/stop me as the being from self-realizing as life here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR truly stopping any and all thoughts and to live here directly within my reality within moments, as seeing directly, an ability that is natural, yet naturally not here due to no self-honesty and standing by principle, and thus thoughts have become what I trust even when they have proven time and time again that they can not be trusted, and so created a relationship of comfort with the mind as thoughts and so fear true content without thoughts/thinking and living here in and as breath as life considering all that is here as self within direct seeing.

Day 116 – Being Skinny – The Machine Within Part 2

Here I am going to Quote from my Part 1 Blog Day 115 and Apply Self Forgiveness underneath each Quote.

The nice thing about writing in a ranting and raving style is, one exposes himself without even noticing it within the words and the way the words are used, so from my previous Blog day 115 I can see now going back where I have exposed myself and now I can apply Self Forgiveness on all the points.

Quote 1: “Ok so my “problem”, I cannot gain weight, so far not ever. “

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my body as a problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my body a problem through the judgment I place onto my body through imposing Ideas/beliefs/opinions onto my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my body a problem through focusing on my body as being imperfect according to and in comparison to other bodies that I have seen and judged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the Belief of “I cannot gain weight” as a fact within myself within my mind as a point of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of “I cannot gain weight” as a reason/justification/excuse within myself for why I am skinny not to have to face the real point within myself as Who I am as my relationship towards myself as me as the flesh/body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the belief/judgment of “I cannot gain weight” as a Characteristic I have created of the Skinny guy Character and to within this justify why I just accept and allow it to be as it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat “I cannot gain weight” to myself almost every day as a reason for why I am skinny, and to tell this excuse as my words that I live to others to not have to feel insecure for being skinny and to manipulate others to accept me also as being skinny with giving them all my reasons/excuses/justification of why I can gain skinny.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give praise to the self belief of “I cannot gain weight” as if it is special and unique and that I have something many others would love to have and thus within the statement of “I cannot gain weight” feel proud.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pride the Idea/belief that “I cannot gain weight” as to having something others want to have.

 I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to look at the point of pride within my secret mind as to why I would want to hold onto such a point of imposing Ideas/beliefs onto the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to boost my ego as the mind consciousness systems within giving pride to my Idea/belief of “I cannot gain weight” while the rest of the world is getting obese.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge obese people as being unlucky. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Pride my apparent luck of not gaining weight, realizing that I was but only lucky by chance that I got specific DNA from my Parents and to pride my Parents DNA as Me, I am only enslaving myself to and as their DNA and all that comes with it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that within my belief/Idea of “I cannot gain weight” I have given into the system of Pride of that which is of the Mind consciousness system to keep me trapped within the mind as energy enslavement to never realize myself as life one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to within looking at this point consider the polarity play out as energy to see the hidden secret mind that create this world as that which I move and direct myself as secretly in/of the mind to create characters to walk among characters to survive and in the name of fear of not being loved.

To be continues…..