Many time I have a
very busy schedule in relation to thing happening during the day, I would in
the morning tell myself OK I have to do this, then that, then that, then that
and then I also have to remember to switch the pumps at that time, and
switching the pumps includes flicking two switches, then pouring bleach in the
water tanks then making sure the water ball it down so it can start pumping
again. I use memories to remind me to do it, instead of simply seeing I have to do it. (much simpler)
Now I have to use my
memory to remember all of those things, and I actually trust myself to remember
it all the time, yet I still forget stuff. So this is showing me I am not
breathing effectively and being here in consideration of my environment as the
physical, moving as the physical with in full common sense and understanding,
but moving as memory instead, which proved to me again and again that it does not work
and can not be reliable.
Self Forgiveness.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memory to do things, to
remember things.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as if I can trust it to
remind me of the duties that I have to attend, or tasks.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my mind as memories, when I
am aware that with in the mind memories get lost, switched, changed and that
they never stay the same as the mind interprets and add or take out parts, and
that this is not reliable at all.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on memories instead of trusting
myself in each breathe with in awareness of my surroundings in consideration of
all that is here as me in my current environment and the world, and to with in
that in each breathe move myself in the physical with in understanding that if
I participate in the mind at looking at memories to remember what I have to do
that I will confuse myself, not all the time but sometimes, and that this is
compromising me and my ability to move effectively, as it takes time to look
with in memories instead of seeing here in the physical with in common sense
what needs to be done.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself with in and as the
physical to be able to have and develop the skill to see and be aware of my
surroundings and to act accordingly, realizing that if I participate with in
the mind I can not possible consider my physical reality in space time but only
interpret it as the past and not what is here presently.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to create layers of memories with in me
to carry around with me just to remember things, instead of living here in the
physical in each breath in awareness to consider my physical world at all times,
and thus it is unnecessary to remember as you can simply see with in and as the
physical that is required in the moment with in what your daily
tasks/responsibilities are.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the mind is more
reliable than the physical.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I have to use my mind as
memories to remember things, as I can see and realize that I can simply see
with in reality what is required as this requires no memory, no mind but
physical direct actuality of using my eyes and seeing in awareness with common
sense and responsibility.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my memories time and time
again, even after all the evidence that shows me I can not trust my memories
but only me with in the physical with in awareness of me in consideration to
all life as myself.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory to remind me of things
just because I am to lazy to breathe and be aware in each moment of my physical
reality, that witch is here in front of me the whole time.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as memory as the past as a
interpreted past by the mind.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to create memories with in me to work
as a clock that goes off (hopefully) to remind me of things i need to do,
instead of breathing and directing myself in each breath o do the things and
not to postpone.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to use memory as a excuse that I will
remember it to postpone and to not take immediate responsibility and act.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to fill myself up with memories that I
designed with in myself as clock's that must go off to remind me that I need to
do something, leaving me under pressure and stress the whole time, and thus storing
all the extra memories with in me as time and keeping me under stressful
conditions and a time bomb, as memories actually get stored in the physical
body in the cellular levels.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself under stress through
postponement and keeping what I had to do as a memory to remind me later,
rushing my day and getting frustrated at things because I have the memory the
whole time of what I still have to do.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my own frustration through
postponement and creating the past into memories with in me to remind me of
what i still have to do, instead I realize that I can stop creating all the
unnecessary stress and frustrations by simply being here and acting in the
moments with in awareness and common sense in and as the physical and thus no
memory needed.
I realize that if I
have to do something later, that no memory is needed, only awareness and simply
physical considerations with in my world with in each breath bringing all that
is here as me.
Commitments.
I commit myself to
stop when I see I am using memory to remind me of what I need to do later, and
to consider in the moment why I am doing so, and to with in that see if I am
actually postponing and creating extra stress and frustration for myself, and to
correct myself and to instead act and o in each breathe here in and as the
physical as that which is best for all life.
I commit myself to
write out and to forgive myself for all points of memories that I have created
with in and as me to remind me of what I have to do and that has proven to me
that it can not be reliable, and that I have to consider that if I do this with
in my world then I am accepting it with in the whole world and so I am
accepting a doctor to use his memory to do operations on people, and that he
can at any moment simply just not remember as that puts peoples life's at
stake, and to realize that is simple common sense and awareness is achieved
that no memories is needed, but only what is here in practicality and common
sense, and so a doctor needs only to see what he needs to do instead of trying
to remember.
I commit myself to
focus on breathing and to write and do self forgiveness on all points where I
fall and go into memories, till I have stopped the pattern and be here in
awareness with in and as the physical.
So here I am still continuing on the How’s of how the social character comes into play as a continuation of Day 107 and Day 106.
