Chess mate - Your Turn to MOVE, or not!! South-Africa

I am in an interesting position within myself, in relation to the world. Specifically within my own country and what is going on here.



South - Africa is in a technical recession, our real estate has dropped by 32% - unemployment has gone up by 5%, politically everything is pointing negative, people are as I speak here striking on the roads, burning tires and branches, closing access for drivers/movement, this is but one of many from the last few days alone in my near environment. It is nothing new, but it all adds up, VAT has increased by 1% , now at 15% VAT on anything you buy, fuel is about to increase by another R1,20 according to predictions - where it is already at a very high price now of R15,60 a litre - thus EVERYTHING in prices increase, from bread and milk to water and electricity - with a country of 56 million (counted for) people, and 30,2 million already in poverty, with all these prices and recession going on, it is putting a lot of pressure on things, especially when in this climate your politicians are openly and freely with ease promoting racism and the murdering of one race and calling the one race rapists and murderers and thieves and that this one race is to blame for everything, it does not matter if you are the new generation after apartheid, which I am part of this one race due to my skin colour, it makes things even worse, especially when policies are created against this one race, and when this one race is specifically targeted to pay for the past through taking land, changing the law and constitution to make it legal, any actions to do so is thus legal, even evicting by force and murder. Parliament hearing on land expropriation was a massive fail and waste of time, most if not all MP"|(Members of Parliament|)s only got more motivated and angry, so it seems expropriation based on emotional outbursts will be happening.



I have now had an interesting point arise within me for the past two months and I am now opening it up for myself (and you reading this), my focus has been on politics, it has been watching each and every video of politicians, parliament meetings, the news, newspapers, and being alert to every actual event happening in my environment, and seeing the negative, the bad and ugly, nothing good to see really. Things are increasing, getting more and more, besides the general 57 murders a day in our country and the chaos of poverty around the country, violence, and crime, businesses collapsing. I have within all of this entered a space within myself of waiting, not moving much, not living much, just sitting still and waiting, as the impression my country is giving me through news and articles and videos and meetings is that we are living on a time bomb that can go off at any time. I feel like I have to be quiet, to hear the ticking of the bomb, to be ready to respond, to avoid being part of the initial explosion.



But, WHY? This is the question that keeps on coming up, why do I want to respond to not be within the initial explosion? it sounds reasonable and logically so that I may live, so that I may survive, not to be abused, not to be in the abuse, then my Desteni teachings come in, to go even deeper, to question this even more, because WHY as logic only takes one as far as self-interest go, because, within the consideration of when this ticking time bomb goes off, millions will suffer in poverty even more, in raids, in extreme violence and even civil war, as our parliament members have spoken about openly in parliament just last week, saying there will be a civil war, and many other ethnical groups literally in the hundreds of thousand preparing for civil war. So, why do I need to be saved and be safe? because I am human and need to live, just like anybody else, when my life has no more worth than anyone else, when my breath is equal to those that cannot respond to this time bomb that cannot get away, that will be stuck in it.



I take a deep breath.... I look within myself and who I am and what I stand for and why I stand for what I stand for, I stand for life - I stand for a life here on earth that is best for all life, this is my stance, I stand to change myself, to change me for me absolutely, I stand to be an example naturally through my change, and so when I look at my why, why save my own ass out of this while others cannot, while other might not want too, when others choose not to and fight, kill, murder and suffer, I see within who I am and my stance that I cannot and have no effect YET on what is happening, and me staying here will not have an effect at all, I could be the one dying first at the moment of explosion, at least then I have already saved myself through self-forgiveness to a degree, yet there are billions on earth in other places, and I still have (if life allows), many years to live if things go naturally, and within that time I can have an actual effect and change within this world, so I will only save my ass as to stand and be the example for others to save their own assess and so stand together to save the ass of this world, this is my purpose for this life as life. There is no need to stand on the bomb and die when I can move my ass to be effective for much longer and support and assist more and more people where possible within the Desteni message and way of life.



I am learning that I am important, and thus I should import myself where needed and where I am effective, and do not remain within an idea of being a saviour, a hero, even if it means leaving many behind for now, I trust myself to move and to grow and to expand as the time I have here as to be that which is best for all life all ways and so place myself where I can have the most effect and to be effective, to not compromise based on ideas and believes, on emotional points.



This post comes from me having to look at possibly having to move my ass if shit gets out of hand in my country, and should I move my ass before, or only as it happens, sharing this also to share where I am at within myself and with what, as these points are happening now, taking place and reality is showing that this needs to be considered - I never in my life had to think or look at these things, I always had the idea that everything will just go smooth and be okay as it was for me to be able to change myself and the world from here for all, and so it will be, but reality outside of me, my home, has other things happening, and even if I want to ignore them, or hope they go away, I can't, as they are affecting me and will one way or the other, and what I do/live, and stand for, and to keep moving and standing this life as much as possible, and I will not compromise that from my part and side.



Why do people die when hurricanes hit their homes, even though they were warned a week before to leave? What mentality is that? an economical hurricane or political one must be foreseen by self, no one can forecast what is going to happen, self can only follow the words and see the side effects/actions and based on that see if the storm is going to hit, and this storm has been brewing here in SA for years now, it is getting more intense, gusts of wind is hitting, at what point does the storm become real, or do we hope for the storm to die out and things settle? The most difficult part is to trust self with self-assessment and what if it is wrong? Or one was right? Then trusting others and their assessment, when it is emotionally based on fear, when is it a stable and direct decision and action? These are the points and challenges I am facing right now.

The biggest point I guess that fucks me over is, even with all the things going on, I have this believe that there is time, that I can wait a bit longer, that I can hope for the best, that nothing will happen to me, and then living within that and do nothing, and so the other side of things is, If I do do something and move my ass, then nothing happens, and so I did everything for nothing and was unnecessary, so my time was wasted.

I see here, that what needs to happen is, I have to remove all the knowledge and information within me of projection as could, could not, should, should not, to consider things practically and make a decision/a choice based on it being my choice to move my ass, regardless if anything is going to happen or not, but to rather work only with what is here, and so even if something does happen or does not happen I can still stand by the decision I made and LIVE it as me. So not justifying my actions based on possibilities, but rather have a choice based on what is here and not what is going to happen or not.

Self-forgiveness will follow on all points above.

Day 268 – from weakness to strength – writing/reading using knowledge and information

Day 268 – from weakness to strength – writing/reading using knowledge and information

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see I do not know how to do something to go into a experience of irritation with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated with myself when and as I do not know how to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated when and as I feel that I cannot do something and to then get up and move or do something else and to “ignore” the point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I have to start a new way of writing to give up within myself of ever being able to write a different style.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Limit myself within and as the mind as interpretation what the new task may or may not have in store and to within that interpretation already burden myself with the effort that may or may not be required and to then already within me make a decision to give up and not to even start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that to Start is a start.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist starting something new as I fear losing the time it will take to learn the new methods etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated with myself as not already being able with the methods abilities capacity to just write a new way/style of blogging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the whole process of learning new things that requires intellect such as reading/writing/and information.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make reading more than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the words within books as more than me and something to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear forgetting what I read and that I will thus be unable to write a blog that is required to have information that comes from somewhere else and thus not start but to instead ignore and avoid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry at myself for not being capable/able to writ like everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry and frustrated with myself fro not starting but instead postpone and let the point grow bigger and bigger all because I have created everything within my mind already, which is always just a interpretation and not how it is in fact in reality, and thus I see and realize that I have to stop the mind participation and focus on the physical actions of doing it and breathing till I am done and I am capable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that this is a point of myself that I must face as a weakness that I have accepted and allowed all my life, and that it is also the point of transformation for myself where I make my weakness my strength.

I commit myself to when and as I have to write blogs a certain way to stop thinking about it and to stop being concerned about if I can or cannot do it and to sit down take a deep breath and to Start writing.

I commit myself to when and as I have to write a blog that requires me to write a certain way to get the information through a certain way to stop judging myself as incapable and unable and to stupid through Starting to write unconditionally after I have done my research first and to unconditionally learn and see what I need to do and change while writing to get it done even if it takes time, yet to start and push myself and the point.

I commit myself to when and as I Fear writing a new way where the blogs have to be based on knowledge and information from other sources as evidence to stop the fear and to stop the limitation through physically moving myself where I haven’t gone before.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I fear that I will not be able to present the knowledge and information in a way that is supportive and effective due to my weakness I have created throughout my live of not being able to “remember” things effectively and to read effectively and write effectively to stop and to breathe and to see and realize my weakness and that I must take my weakness and make it my strength through doing those things of reading/writing and learning to remember unconditionally.

Day 91 – The fearful character sits and waits. P 1

I have this interesting pattern that I have accepted and allowed to exist within my world, and interestingly enough I have made this pattern justifiable, as if it makes common sense, yet it does not.

The pattern is  that when ever I experience fear or anxiety within me I tell myself, OK I am experiencing fear and thus I must not do this/that.

This came from previous past experiences where I would for instance have to do new things, like performing in a concert, as I perform in the concert I experience fear/anxiety, and so I feel that I fucked up, yes I dd make mistakes but I did not really fuck up as I made it sound in my head.

So I have connect this Idea/opinion/belief that when ever I experience fear towards something/doing something I must not/I can not take part because I have fear and the fear will only compromise and create fuck ups and me making mistakes, thus I can not be trusted because there is fear. 

So Now in my reality I have created this character as an illusion that when I see something needs to be said/done and I experience fear/anxiety I say to myself, ok I cant do anything I am in fear/anxiety and then I just sit there and wait till someone else do something because I am fearful/anxious and so if I had to help I would probably make it worse, I would only fuck things up.

And now today a situation came up where one of the dogs was experiencing some pain and weird behavior, I saw this happening and I just sat there, I did not move, I saw other people trying to help and do stuff But I could see even they needed help and support. And I just sat there.

I looked at the dog in pain and I saw within myself what I must do, but I experienced fear/anxiety – I had a thought coming up where I saw myself helping the dog and then only making it worse, either making the dog angry and I get bitten or I actually hurt the dog by accident trying to help – then the little character’s voice came in play in my mind talking and saying things, You are fearful, I am fearful and all my fears might come true if I help, it is best if I do not help because I have fear and my fear can come true. 

Then I realized this point I am writing about now, I stood up and I fucking moved myself, I was experiencing fear and anxiety still, but I did not allow it to direct me, I stood up in the fear and I walked through the fear through practically applying myself. 

The character that played out was pretty clear, the character used the point of not having knowledge and information on how to help a dog in the moment of need to submit me into - fear of helping, this is how this character plays its roles in all scenarios, using my own weakness against me to keep me weak, to not change, as I know myself and that I do not have a lot of knowledge and information on stuff in this world and as I accept and allow it as a weakness the character will continue to use it to get me to stay the same.

The Character is obviously me and I created the character for myself to protect my own self interest, staying save and not being the responsible one, not being the one fucking up, not being the one to blame, not being the one that made things worse, so I basically deliberately kept myself stupid all my life with all the opportunities in my world to read a book, to learn and to get informed, just so that I can always say, I did not know what to do so I did nothing.

and behind that there is a secret agenda, this is simply to protect self and self's own interests, and so we are all doing this daily and nothing is changing and just getting worse, because we fear making things worse that will have an influence on our own self interest - thus it is to realize we must move and direct ourselves to do what will benefit all self interest at the same time - and everyone's basic self interest is basic living needs, it is really simple so do not fear to take that step that will make you face fear, that will make you not wanting to do anything and just move and breathe. this is the equal money system as best for all life all self interest at the same time.

YET I am smart enough to see the problem and thus I am already equally responsible as everyone else on earth, because everyone can see the problems on earth, we all decide to not take responsibility for the points through educating ourselfs on all points so we can change it, but to choose to remain ignorant so that we can experience fear and use that as why we did not do anything. 

I am now faced with this character as me, as what I have created and accepted and allowed and I know it exist and why and how so I am not innocent and so no one else is innocent because as me everyone knows what they are doing. 

The problems are in our faces, just like with the dog situation, the dog was right in-front of me in pain and I sat and did nothing just because I experienced fear, and when I investigated the fear I realized I created it myself for a purpose – to not have to take responsibility because that will mean I admit I am responsible.

And I am responsible "even If I do not want to admit it", I am always responsible. And so are we ALL.

thus keeping ourselves in fear and paralyzed isn't going to help anyone or anything, it only makes it worse.  

To Be Continued..

Day 60 – influence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others within self interest points.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others that are living the principal of what is best for all life in all ways and to learn and expand myself as Life as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I am not allowed to be influenced as this is a sign of weakness, realizing it is only the ego trying to do everything on its own knowing it will never succeed as the ego only seeks self interest to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by self interest and fear and self judgment but when it comes to what Is best for all life I reject it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I am being influenced with what is best for all life that I am being brainwashed, not realizing that I have already been brainwashed all my life to only exist as a limited mind enslaved zombie that survives never living life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being influenced as bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being influenced as being good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when I am influenced by someone or something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by certain people that I have created ideas about within my mind, realizing that as long as I define certain people in my world a certain way within my head I will be influenced by them as my definition of them gives them permission.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that I am the creator and the cause and the effect of all influences happening within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and be here within and as the physical where there is no energy movement or mind that can be influenced by simple things that create a shift in energy within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself within participating within the mind as thoughts and energy and thus to be influenced by others/things within my world and that creates a cause for me to change within self interest in the fear for survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if someone has influence over me that they have some sort of power, realizing that it is only me within my mind within myself that can give way to any influence as I have to first accept it and then allow it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that people with influence are special, realizing that I am only separating me as them and thus creating them as more than me in separation instead of standing one and equal in and as the physical as that which is best for all life in all ways in each breathe and to walk as one influences as LIFE.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by others.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I am influenced by others I am not breathing effectively and standing within each breathe as Who I am, thus as I do not know who I am I can be influenced.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I feel I am being influenced by others I am within the mind participating in back chat and thoughts that gives away my authority as the director of my life as who I am and giving permission to others to influence me through energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I give authority to someone else as being more than me that I am within that giving them permission to decide for me who I am and thus they have influence over me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as long as I exist as the mind as energy I can be influenced by anyone as all they have to do is change my energy through their actions and words.

Thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that as long as I participate within the mind as polarity as energy I have no real defectiveness or stability within myself or this world as breathe in an as the physical as the energy can simply be shifted by anyone at any time as I give it permission as long as I exit as it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for how I experience myself when I am being influenced by them, realizing that I am only influencing myself through accepting and allowing the influence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad and les than when I am influenced by someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as bad to be influenced by someone else, realizing that if I am being influenced by someone it is a cool way of showing me where I am not yet standing stable as breathe and thus I can look at the point and self forgive.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realized that being influenced starts in the mind as back chat as self judgment and as comparison within the mind.

I commit myself to when I see I am giving permission for someone else to have influence over me to stop and breathe, to investigate why I am doing it and to take self responsibility as the influence of life, to life what is best for all life as the only influence that matters.

I commit myself to write and apply self forgiveness on all self interest influential points within my life where I allow the personality to influence my breathing here stable as the physical one and equal and to investigate why I give away my authority to other influences that only exist in self interest as the hell that the current world exist as.

I commit myself to life the principal of oneness and equality and to write daily and apply self forgiveness for the next seven years to be the influence in this world that is best for all life in all ways, and to bring about a equal money system that will only influence life all life in what is best for all life as a beneficial life for all equally here on planet earth.

I commit myself to check who I am as my influence and to see if how I am influencing people within my daily life is best for all life or in self interest to spread fear and all that is in self interest as the ego, and to stop and change myself as who I am to that which only influences people in WHO I AM as the living example as that which is best for all life in all ways.

Day 2 - When I use money/cards

Today I went to the mall, I had some money in the bank and I had to use it to buy basic stuff for animals and for household things and for the plants in and around the house.

I saw that every time I took out to pay with my cheque account card I felt like I had power/authority, like I had some kind of power and ability not many has, which is true.

I saw that every time we had a meal or purchased something I was the one that the bill was brought to and that I had to place my card down and pay, this brought up a form of feeling of being proud and that I am seen as a person with authority and respect.

I could see in my behavior how I changed toward people, I was looking down on them, saying to myself, I have money and you don't, I have a card with money on saved and ready to be used at my command, that I have a secure future with money.

This was clearly a point of ego and this is not acceptable as it is that which creates abuse in this world and accept and allow the money system that currently exists that is not best for all life, and keeping it in place. 

What is money in the world?

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the starting point of ego, instead of practicality and within consideration of the current money system and how to direct my money to bring about change,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money from the starting point of bragging.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel power when I take my card out of my wallet and that I am able to buy something physical with it that I can touch and use and see and have to myself, realizing that this power I feel is powering a monetary system of complete abuse and not what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money blindly with in the starting point of power and control and to with in this not see that what I do with my money and what I purchase with my money is in fact voting for what I am willing to accept and allow to exist in this world as abuse and as that which is not best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself belief that I am a authority with in this world because I have it and that I have money on it and that the money gives me authority, realizing that I am actually just a slave to money and that i have been fooled into being brainwashed to belief I am an authority in relation to the money I have to keep me a slave to the current money system so that those with all the money can continue making more money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use money for the sake of feeling good about myself and how much money I have saved up and are able to use through purchasing goods, realizing that this is in fact the pattern that supports consumerism that is in fact not best for all life and is all about greed and profit and not caring about life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud that I can take out my card from my wallet and pay for things, as if I have accomplished something in this world while the world is clearly still based on self interest where billions of people starve and die of hunger and live on the streets and where animals and plants are disregarded and abused for money, thus I realize I have not accomplished anything yet but that I have only made some money and that I have saved it up in the fear of my own future with money, and thus I realize that in my actions of feeling proud and that I have accomplished something I am only hiding the truth from myself that I fear my future in this world and this current money system, and that I have in the act of feeling proud accepted and allowed my fear as valid because I have made myself belief that because I have money I am secure and save in this world and that I am separate from the rest that is not secure and save and that it is okay for them to suffer but not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all those that does not have money, that does not have security and a warm home and food through only protecting my money in a bank and keeping it to myself and not spending it in a way that will support a new world that is best for all, but to instead hide my money and only use it to make myself happy while I hide my fear that causes me to save money up, my fear of the future and the truth that I know myself, that this world is not reliable with in the current money system and anyone can lose everything at any time and that I can swap places with those that I leave in situations that I do not even wish for myself but allow others to be with in it.

Thus I forgive myself hat I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind money as my security in the fear that I might one day join those that I separate myself from that currently does not have money and that has an abusive life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do anything about the current money system to change it as I know that what I do onto another shall be done onto me, and currently what I am doing is hiding behind the security of money and leaving those that I have separated myself from with in my mind -  out there in the cold to fend for themselves, and to still have the hope that when I might join them one day that they will have mercy on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that I can separate myself from those that has no money and a life of safety and food and cloths, through hiding behind money and the things I purchase to make me feel happy, realizing that I am on the same planet as them, that I am of the same substance as them, and separation is impossible and facing myself as them is inevitable. 

Equal through substance!

Thus I realize  that I have to take self responsibility for myself in each breathe, to use my money only with in that which is relevant and to bring about a new monetary system that is best for all LIFE, and to change my starting point with in how I use and why I use money daily and where I place my money is where I place my vote.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to fear losing all my money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that If I do not save money and keep a secret stash in the bank that I will not have a secure future.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that if something happens to me with in the current money system, that I can lose everything including what I saved up, as the current money system has no mercy and simply see all life as numbers and not life and that I should while I have money and a job and the opportunity to do something in this world to take my money that is hiding and spend it, use it in such a way that I know it will accumulate into that which will bring about a world that is best for all, and thus I secure my future equally with all futures as one here on earth, and so I will release myself and all life from the pressure and the fear of daily survival and allow all life to live life instead of survive. - best for all as equality!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that money has more value than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that money can buy me out of physical consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that if I have money I have some sense of authority in this world and thus I can simply avoid consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the comfort of having money saved up while billions/the whole planet earth is suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my false idea/belief that money is all that matters and the only way life can exist, and thus hold on to it in fear and apathy, and not move myself and my money to bring about a world that is best for all LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and spend my money in this world on random stuff that supports consumerism and the abuse of life, exploiting all life for profit to support my random shopping consumerism,

thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow a system of exploitation of life in complete abuse of life for the sake of profit through my randomness of spending money on random stuff just because I feel like it, realizing that this is in fact me being responsible for all abuse on earth in a direct inter linked way, and thus I am not to be kept out of the consequences to follow but to have to face them as me as the direct responsible one in fact as I was allowing and accepting it with in voting with my money where I spend it and how.

Commitments.

I commit myself to stop the pattern when I go to the mall and spend my money, to only spend it on practical things that is actually relevant and that is required to life and support myself and my environment.

I commit myself to stop the ego point of having money and seeing myself as being more than others that does not have money through writing and self forgiveness.

I commit myself to stop the pattern and to actually use money for what it currently is in this world, to get all basic needs, and when I have all basic needs to not buy, purchase other good that is purely based on consumerism and that is counting as a vote for accepting and allowing the current money system that way it is.

I commit myself to use all my money in all ways in such a way that where I use my money and how, that it will in time accumulate a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to stop the pattern of holding onto my money and wanting it to grow and be kept save in a bank somewhere just so that I can feel save, but to commit myself to let go of the false idea of life that money is alll that can ever exist, and to take my money and use it while I can in such a way, a common sense way that will in time accumulate a world that is best for all life.

I commit myself to not hide money in the fear of the future that I have already projected in my mind for myself, but to commit myself to stopping the fear and to direct my money in a way that is best for all life.

I commit myself to to making more money so that I have more money to direct it in a common sense way that is best for all life and to getting the mess sorted out for all life equally and to not hide behind my money in fear of only my own future and creating a false sense of security.

Realizations.

I realize that money is needed in this world currently, and that I require money to be alive and to be able to survive.

I also realize that money can be used to change the world the way we have accepted and allowed it through simply re-directing how I use my money and that where I place my money is a vote for my future world/life as all lives on earth equally.

I realize that money is the only way that the world can be changed as everything functions according to money and how it moves and to where, as money does have all authority currently and not the person at all. It is money that decides if you can feel like you have authority, so who actually has the authority lol.thus it is to take back authority and stop the patterns and direct the money to that which is best for all life.

I realize that if I spend money on random stuff that I am with in that voting for random stuff to exist in this world as the current capitalism system for consumerism and that with in this everything on earth as all life is being exploited and abused for it, for my random spending with money, such as placing live baby turtles in plastic bags so you can carry them around for 5 months till they die.