Today is the 16th day of not drinking Coffee.
Why?
I will start with the WHY because every time I say I stopped
drinking coffee people seem to freak out and make it as if I am stupid for
doing so, or as if I am weak for being able to stop drinking coffee, almost as
if I decided not to be part of a cult and take part in this cults rituals
anymore and now the cult is kind of turning on me as a previous member.
So, let me say why in many dimensions of the question.
I stopped because I am walking a process of purifying myself
within and through self-forgiveness in writing self-forgiveness and taking self-responsibility
for what exist here as me, yet I have seen and realized that I must also at the
same time purify my outer, what I do and participate within as my habits,
patterns and addictions.
Because I have come to realize that drinking coffee isn’t MY
decision anymore, it has become a decision that was being made for me, this is
obviously a problem.
It is a Problem because it has become habitual, thus controlling
my behaviors, my habits and even forming them all according to coffee. Thus
coffee became my master and I the slave. This has placed a massive restriction on
my movement, flexibility on a daily basis, like driving on the road and finding
there are unnecessary bumps/humps in the road to slow down the car from moving,
and eventually causing damage to the car, consuming more fuel, all the stopping
or slowing down and going, drinking coffee became exhausting and at times
compromised me and my body where coffee would overwrite drinking water or
having a meal.
I would generally drink 6 cups a day and on some days I
would even push it to 12. This has been so for YEARS and I would sometimes joke
and say, I am 70% water and literally see drinking coffee as me fueling up,
filling up. This has exposed my addiction that I judged as normal and okay.
When I look at the money spend on coffee at home and the amount
of precious water consumed for making coffee, not to mention the milk and
electronics and electricity on a daily basis multiple times, the addiction did
not just harm me but in the end it is having a consequence on reality – Imagine
billions of people doing this daily all around the world.
Now, coffee isn’t bad, it can be enjoyed daily, I would say
one or two cups as a support for the body in times that it is required, like a
medicine, but at the rate I have been consuming it and seeing and knowing how
others also do it, it is an overdose for all of us humans, not to mention how
much each and every person is spending when they go out on their coffees and their
chinos and all the other types of coffees.
I once asked a lady that works at Seattle which specializes
in coffees – almost like a Star Bucks, how much milk they use daily for making
all the peoples coffees and other orders that is coffee, and she replied, the
most has been 600 Liters a day. This was but one shop making coffee of the
dozens in the same area I know of. I asked this because the coffee usage was
obviously a LOT, but I was curious about the milk, so I realized I also had a
milk addiction with my coffee.
I also know about the coffee industry and the abuse that is
taking place there with the people actually working in the fields, harvesting
the great beans that we grind up and then drink away and piss out, not to
mention the abuse of the earth and the soil, the amount of land and natural habitats
that had to be destroyed and most probably that are being destroyed right now
to keep up with our demands for coffee. The earth is truly losing.
Back to self – I am re-birthing myself, and I have stopped
many addictions over the years, and I find myself stuck with a few, and these
few are truly over powering my daily living to a certain degree. I was only
able to see to what degree it was once I stopped and pushed through the initial
pain of stopping which I experienced.
The extent to which this one particular addiction was in
control of my life, my daily movement and living is something that I would not
be able to place in words as I experienced the Freedom after day three for
others, but I can say, it was as if a chain has been loosened from my leg and I
could more freely direct and move myself within space time.
This is but the more daily experience, not to mention the
bodily changes. I started feeling a lot more stable, grounded and I was less
high on energy but had more energy that was moving at a practical pace instead
of like a racing car.
Day 1 – on day 1 when I stopped I went through the initial I
want one, just one more for today, maybe tomorrow it will be better and then I can
stop fully, but I breathed and stopped that thought and experience, to not lead
myself into temptation and deceive myself, as I have faced this multiple times
and I know it never works for me, so I had to go full out and embrace whatever
comes my way and to trust that it will NOT be for ever, and so I walked with
that trust that it will not be forever, simply breathe and move myself. I drank
a lot more water and ate quite a bit more and different foods, which in return
supported my body a lot more than having a quick coffee. I had MASSIVE
headaches and did not talk about them at all on day one but simply breathed. I
also did not talk about quitting coffee with anyone till I knew I have lived it
and pushed through, thus on day three I was clear and spoke out.
Day 2 – This was the worst, I went to bed the previous night
with a headache and slept with it and woke up with it and so I worked as usual
all day in the sun with laborious work with this massive headache. After the
day was over with work, I decided to get some support with this massive
headache, and thus I took one headache pill. Within 15min the headache was gone
and I felt amazing, this allowed me to have a great sleep that night and then I
woke up Feeling refreshed and coffee free.
I started smelling coffee more and noticing the smell in the
house from others making a pot, my body had a natural reaction on a physical
level of feeling repelled to it. This
supported me even further. For the next couple of days I had a small moment of
a headache every now and then, but drank some water or some juice and then it
was all good.
On day 15 I took a small cup of coffee out of curiosity what
it would be like to have some now. I took a few sips and I did not enjoy it at
all, it was bitter and not as I remembered it LOL. So this I found interesting,
I drank the entire small cup (100ml cup) and then I felt disgusted in my body
by the coffee. Five minutes later I started noticing my entire body was
vibrating and mostly in my solar plexus area, this I focused on to see what
was happening, it was as if I just injected adrenaline into my veins and I
started experiencing a physical anxiety within me. I did not enjoy this experience as I felt more
disconnected with my body and not grounded, I got easily more triggered. Within
this I also noticed how I was abusing my body by not being able to be in tune
with my body and what’s going on with my body to being on this adrenaline rush.
This has been my journey thus far, and still continuing with
no coffee, there is no set limit or amount of time that I will not be drinking coffee.
Maybe forever, maybe I will have a cup every now and then in the future.
Thanks for reading and enjoy.
