Day 392 – Success within writing Daily, the Ego exposed.

My first point on this topic took place on Day 10

It has been Five Days since I write a Blog, I have been busy and I have been tired, Yet I have had MORE than enough time after getting some rest, to write a blog. 

The secret reason for not writing or that I have been postponing writing for the past five days, Is because I had a moment with Leila where we were doing word re-definition on the word Yes. 

I have come to some REAL feedback within where I stand within writing and how I have pushed myself within writing. 

And doing the Writing and the Self forgiveness and the commitment statements with Leila I was able to see how awesome Leila is within her word placement, and being specific and following structure within how she places the words, and what hit me the most was That Leila could see what I could not see. This ended up being the obvious.

Within that moment of that observation, I Judged myself as being less then, and within this I have placed myself back two steps within myself, instead of breathing and taking one step forward through learning and correcting myself. 

I was also hit hard by how way more specific Leila was within her words because she actually knew many words to describe for instance one thing but with different angels to it, where I had only that one word dimension. 

I felt down and heavy, like pressure on my chest, I also within this judge every single thing  have ever written as NOT good enough, because of what I have seen now that could be possible through simple things such as writing and actually looking/seeing what I am writing and focusing on all dimensions on what I am writing. 

So I have been not writing for the past five days and I have been postponing facing ME/Myself within my writing, because now that I have seen what is possible, I know I cannot go back to how I did writing, and the resistance is to actually push myself within my writing to go there, to be that, to live that has to be walked through.

One of my Ego problems is that I do not like to ask for help, so I have been looping within this exact same point within writing for a very long time.

I told Leila about this point within writing and what I am facing, and we discussed the point, we came to an agreement that I write my Blog every day and send it to her for a check.

I am also not disregarding my improvements, I have definitely improved within writing and within reading and I have definitely changed a lot within and through writing. I am now at the next step that needs to be taken which I have been postponing because of a Ego point, a fear of asking for help and admitting I am stuck.

I have been stuck for a long time and I knew that by asking for help I would not be stuck, but instead I as the ego pretended to be okay and to continue on the same path. 

So My writing within my Journey to Life Blogs has been a success, I have through every day writing and placing myself in words visible to all, exposed myself day after day, I have written proof that I cannot hide from that I have been accepting and allowing as the ego. And here I have had enough. 

I am ready to help myself through asking and accepting and allowing help to be given.

Day 10 - Receiving/asking for help, stopping the ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being helped by another person and that it will be seen as a weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see help as weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge help as being negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the word help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personal when help is offered to me, as I see it that the other person is implying I am imperfect, thus I realize that I am not perfect and I am in the process of reaching perfection as life as that which is best for all and thus help is needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see being helped by others as me not being capable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that when I need help that I am not yet capable and that is the point of being helped, to become capable and empowering myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to interpret help as being a weakness because of my judgments that I have towards others that require help as being weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and judge others that ask/require help as being weak and not capable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being capable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I ask or receive help that I will never be able to do it on my own and that I always now have to ask for help with the same thing over and over again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that help is what I need till I get the points for myself and can stand by it effectively to be able to assist and support others in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself with in not asking for help and trying to do everything myself and end up not doing it effectively and have to redo it all again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego come in the way of me and what requires to be done that is best for all life as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  trust my ego as the mind as my back chat instead of me here in common sense with in the physical as that which is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate with in my ego as the mind as back chat in relation to asking for help and seeing it as weakness to not ask and sabotage myself and in the same process others walking with me in their process's.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that asking for help is humbleness, as me admitting I do not yet understand life and that I will in all humbleness submit to learn and to understand so that I may be worthy of life as life one and equal in full understanding of all that is here so I may walk as an equal.


I commit myself to ask for help when I need it, till I can stand as the point and give help equally as support and assistance to another, to live the principal as do onto another as I would do onto myself, give as you would like to receive,

I commit myself to stop the ego and to do what is best for all life as myself, and to write and forgive myself on the points of asking for help when it comes up.

Here is some great help on understanding Life a bit more. 

The design of Life Volume 1

The design of Life volume 2

The design of life Volume 3