Day 646 – Family is the cause of Pornography

listen to the interview in this blog, then you will see the writing I do below it in relation to what I got from the interview within walking my process of self-honesty through self-forgiveness. You must undertake your own in writings, what is here for you to stop blame and to stand up for and as yourself as life.

Ok, I listened to the recording, at first I did not completely get it, it is a short video/recording, so I know Bernard does not spoon feed, he gives points and then it is up to self to self-investigate, get to self-honesty and to self-realization, and it gave me a clue in the recording when Bernard said, secrets and agendas within the family structure as it currently exists, and so how is Pornography an outflow from the Family design/construct. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT question the family structure that exists within this world.

I forgive myself that I have NOT seen and realized that the family structure within this world is a TAUGHT structure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT be Honest about the family structure and setup within this world where it is most of the time if not all the time abuse, may it be mental, emotional or physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the family structure that exists within this world only exists as it does due to FEAR and Survival, and thus does not represent a true structure of natural forces, but rather a structure that manifested due to a system that exist within this world created by man and his agendas/secrets for power/control and self-interest, and so the family structure can only be the same structure one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the family construct even when I knew there was always something off, not right, secrets and agendas that is running in the back ground.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on a role within the family construct as if it is simply my place/play and that I have no choice to take that play/place and so participated within it as normal, as usual, even when there was emotional abuse, mental abuse going on.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the world if fucked, and so the current family construct as it exist is also fucked, as the world is a reflection of the family construct, as within so without.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow what I was born into as normal, as good, as how things should be, even when I could see that it isn’t working, it never worked and the world is a result, and so looking at how I turned out myself coming from the family construct, I was/am pretty fucked, mentally and emotionally.

I forgive myself that I have not seen and realized through suppression and deliberate denials of what is here, that the family construct is an incubator for children born into a family, and so what the child becomes, who the child is, was literally and very specifically incubated into the child, and so the world and within myself, the results is that of sex/porn addictions, mental problems, physical problems, drug addictions and so many many others more points, as what is born from the families of the world is what end up creating the world, and the world seems to be run by demons/monsters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the emotional abuse that happened, took place within my family – even when that emotional abuse felt good, such as manipulation, love, or a sense of care and specialness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the two people that are my parents as special and unique and that I am their property, and so whatever they do or go through or take out on me, may it be deliberate or indirect, as acceptable, as simply how a family works and functions, even when those moment left scars of emotional and mental experiences that I could not explain yet acted on, as if they are normal and simply part of how I as a family member as the child should act and behave, never questioning truly why it is playing out the way it is, such as the actual structure of the family design within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the family member that causes disruptions, emotional instabilities and expected everyone else to simply take it, as I was part of the family construct, and so anything can go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play on my family members emotions and feelings, their weaknesses and strengths to get what I wanted, and so in return allowed and accepted them to do the same, and so anything goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take advantage of the people I was calling family and to justify my actions and words and all that I accepted and allowed of me, to simply being part of the family and what it means, and so in return accepted and allowed the same form other members, even when it all added up to living a lie, to living in an illusion, a secret reality that is different in the home of the family versus who the family is outside of the home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a secret agent for my family, where I would keep the family and what happens at home a secret and to so present a different family outside, and so seeing and realizing that as a family we could together lie, present a lie and live a lie, I realized that I could lie and get away with anything and many things, as I would expect my family to simply keep quit and go along with it with me, and so do the same for them, thus creating a living of dishonesty and corruption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the construct of dishonesty within the family, as to lie, cheat, misuse and play games that served only me and so use others for that purpose.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that I learned how to be “intimate” through my family, and so whatever that was in my family is what I accepted as the way it is and works, ad so be that way within and towards myself and so the world, KNOWING is was/is corrupted, not effective, not working, due to how the inner relationships functioned within the family.

I forgive myself that I have not seen and realized that I have learned through my family how to “care” and so, whatever that may have been, taken it with me as me into this world, my life, KNOWING is was/is corrupted, not effective, not working, due to how the inner relationships functioned within the family.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed the truth to sink in for me that all the addictions, habits that served no one, and thus PORNOGROPHY and sexual problems and relationship problems was/is a direct result of what I learned, observed, imprinted and taken from my family, or never received in fact and so seeked what I was missing within me outside of me in everything and everyone else, and so always ended up abusing.

Day 6 - What stops me from cheating?

 

Before reading this blog – please, if you find any point you judge yourself on or comparing with me, do not do so, but if it comes up, rather at the end leave a comment, ask and discuss. This is but a Blog, not 9 years of specific details.

I have been in a Desteni Agreement for nine years now. I have not once cheated on my wife, I have not once even tried, or spoken to another women with the intention or the attraction to do so, even after Marriage, even after having a child and sex was very little for a very long time, and still is. So what is the secret? 

First, I have to inform you that it is in my programming to cheat, to have multiple girlfriends (women) in my life, this is what I did and used to do before I went into an agreement nine years ago.

The Sexual force was strong in me, and I followed it religiously. I enjoyed the game of getting girls, playing around, taking risks, and always being around lots of women, chatting up dozens of girls at a time, hook up with a few here and there and then see where I can score. 

Now, I must first and foremost make something very clear, the Desire comes up within me for wanting to go back into this every now and then, it is actually always here, I desire having more or multiple women in my life, but then how do I do it to not even once follow it, to not be led into temptation, not even in my words by accident, or in my behaviors towards or with other women, even when it is in my design/programming to do it so easily, without effort. 

I used to fall in love and be attracted to almost any women instantly after meeting them and I would have the same “love” feeling for all the women I ever met and came in contact with, I could never say to one I love you and not to the other as well, I always thought it was a disease that I was attracted to any women almost instantly, I could in a matter of minutes already see myself in a long term relationship with a girl I just met, and if this same girl brought a friend along, I would equally be the same towards her. I found it very annoying at times, especially that one has to choose and only go with one partner. 

The answer is simple and yet at the same time very difficult. The process was difficult as well to get to this point, in fact the first two years of being in the agreement with my partner the habits and patterns wanted to kick in and I wanted out of the agreement a few times through how I behaved and spoke, my thoughts and mind was all over the place. 

Yet, here I am.

First and foremost, It is all thanks to DESTENI and the message, the re-education of me with all the information that Desteni provides within understanding the MIND, what are thoughts, what are feelings and emotions, how do they work, and I must say the most important for me within all of this is that I understood that NO thought, feeling or emotion is EVER real unless we act on it, thus I always know that when a thought come sup, a feeling or emotion, it isn’t real unless I act on it, and thus I BREATHE and I let go of the thoughts, the feelings and emotions. 

Then, the agreement was extremely important that I had to understand what is an agreement – it is really simple, TWO people walking together this life yet individual their process of re-birthing themselves as life and to within this be physical support for one another, not emotional and mind support. 

Here is the catch, I had to actually have NO choice within this, as in do I want to do it or not, because once I understood why I am walking this process of Desteni for myself and thus with another being, there is no choice, there is no do I want to or not, there is simply BREATH and do this. 

Here are a few key points that I ground myself with, with having this design/programming and how I stand within discipline absolutely within this specific point. 

1.       No matter with what women I am in an agreement with, I will always be me, so no OTHER women will change me or make me experience me any different, and thus if I follow my programming I will always end up where I simply follow my programming again and again, and thus never change and actually face myself effectively to change.

2.       ALL humans are minds/programmes/designs – thus if I see a picture as the form of another women and I am attracted to that and go after that and base a relationship off of that, I will inevitably end up with again the programmes/design (thus nothing different) and they have to be faced, and thus cheating or dishonoring the agreement will only be me fucking myself up more and more and in the same process harm others and thus nothing will change.

3.       This one is more personal and based on who I am within an agreement with right now, thus this one can change for others if for example one person is abusive, physically or emotionally – If I cannot walk with the person I am within an agreement with now, then I cannot walk with anyone else equal and one, it is as simple as that, thus leaving my partner for a design/program will only be me deceiving myself on many levels. 

4.       Understanding and walking as that understanding daily that NO person is actually different except the form/image and thus the form image can and will change at any time and thus I will always end up facing the same regardless, either sooner or later. 

5.       Live what is best for all life – basic Desteni principle – this includes stopping ones thoughts, feelings and emotions, ones fantasies, imagination that is NOT within this reality and practical and not bets for all life, within the understanding that all of this was literally programmed into us, as we are organic robots designed and created by the Reptilian race (annunaki, yes you probably do not want to hear that, but it damn supported) as shared in detail by and through the Portal.

Ok, that is what I have to share for now in relation t this point, as I have now walked it for many years and I have proven through space and time that I STAND and that the Desteni tools in fact work if applied effectively, this obviously includes LOTS of self-forgiveness and self-writing on all the points that open up. 

Please feel free to ask questions, I have lots to share, don’t be shy. If you are married, if you have children, if you are having any issues – I can support within this, but consider, any advice is useless without application.