Even Teachers knew we are Organic Robots that’s programmable

I got punished at school sometimes through doing certain things, I have a specific memory of speaking back at the teacher, not accepting and allowing her behaviour towards us as the students, which I took as diminishing us, seeing us as less, and I said something back, the teacher didn’t like it, and she reacted badly towards what I did.

As punishment, the teacher instructed me to write down on paper with a pen 100 times “to speak back to a teacher is wrong” and as I write it I had to speak it LOUD and CLEAR – and only once I completed writing that out 100 times and speaking it out loud and clear could I leave the classroom.

I eventually wrote out all 100 lines as I wanted to get out of the class, and to not be in the presence of this teacher. In my mind I laughed at the punishment, I thought it was stupid and useless, I thought this will not change anything within me, But, afterwards there was a scar within me, I tried to avoid it, but it was there, I could not pinpoint it as to what it was or remove it, but from that day I have not spoken up to a teacher in the way I did before, I had more fear, I had more self-judgment, I felt insecure to speak to people that has titles of “authority “and facing the consequences, I had a massive judgement within me of it being WRONG to speak back at someone, speaking up and being heard especially if they are seen as authority within me.

So, this worked? Even when I believed and thought it didn’t, that I was too strong for it to have any effect, yet, sitting there for a while writing out that sentence 100 times with my hand cramping and my brain hurting and my voice getting dry from saying it out loud and clear 100 times it had an effect.

Did the teacher know that it would work? Was the teacher aware of what she was doing to me? Did the teacher do this knowing how to program children? And that we are programmable and that’s how it is done?

I mean, since my process with Desteni, the key to deprogramming ourselves and to change and stand as LIFE is through writing, through applying self-forgiveness and then adding self-corrective statements as our living/correction, and within thus breathe and walk within practically applying ourselves daily, stopping the mind, thoughts and feelings and emotions.

At Desteni, this is done because we understand and see that we are programmable, and thus our nature can change, and thus we are able to create ourselves with the right tools, so here comes a teacher that Believes in God and that God is the creator of all things and that god is divine and all powerful and that free will exists and all that, yet this very same person used this technique on me that defies everything they believe in and it worked.

So – I can now also say that writing and speaking words truly is the key, now see and understand the power of the tools when it is applied in self-forgiveness, and we write and write and write in self-forgiveness and creating ourselves as LIVING words, as the living word as LIFE, if only a small moment of writing something out 100 times and speaking it loud and clear could have such an effect on me for a life-time, then now we can see how applying the tools of Desteni and how it is used as suggested DOES in fact have an effect, if we like it or not. It is a matter of consistency and to do it 100 times or more an every single point within ourselves or more till it is done.

This brought me to a very interesting statement that Jesus said in the bible about forgiveness, that we must forgive 70 times 7 a day, each and every day, which is 490 times of forgiveness a day, and this is and was even understood by Jesus and what we must apply more than 2000 years ago. No one has or is living this, not to mention for ourselves, not to mention on a daily basis, now you might ask, what am I going to forgive every day that much? Well, it is going to be yourself, your every thought, feeling or emotion, it is going to be YOU forgiving existence as yourself, thus all that is here to stand as life, one and equal, to drop all knowledge and information as the mind as consciousness as the false Idol/god, and to unveil what is here to be able to pass through the eye of the needle.

I will for myself as a test do here what I have done in that classroom, for myself, to forgive myself 100 times for one thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

(Middle lower back pain, to the right, muscle) (Shoulder pain, right side, and front, down to the elbow and into the forearm, muscle pain with bone tension)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

(Thoughts popping up, unconscious mind, agitation from others in my environment, projection, as I am getting agitated as I judge what the others are going through isn’t directed as I would have directed it)

(my body getting tense, as I feel I am wasting time, nothing is happening, nothing magical = mind protection mechanism, where the mind is addictive to experiences and thus not not feeling anything, and thus if the mind isn’t experiencing anything then it must mean nothing is happening, yet the physical is darkness, still, quiet, here)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

(left hand is warming up, while right hand is still cold, my left hand is specifically heating up from the small finger, where the hear is flowing up until the ring finger, then gradual heat is flowing all over my hand but not as warm as the small and ring finger, thus flowing is happening within those two areas)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that separation exists.

(tension all over my body now, as TIME has shown its face and thus I started rushing, as I am now running out of time to apply myself within this, the tension begins in the back, runs into my shoulders at the back and then restricts and tense up my entire chest area all the way down to my sixpack, thus the back tensing upwards and the front tensing as in cramping inwards)

Interesting.

Day 132 – Living Commitment – Day 4 of 21

Continuing from Day 131 day 3 of 21 from this section – 

Quote: “So I learned that Authority has the power to punish you without even explaining in detail what was happening, what is happening and why and why was it asked of me to stop and to sit still, or to not scream, or to not touch a certain thing in the house, this gets taught to me only when I am older and all the damage was already done through the parents reactions/emotions/feelings instead of breathing and directing situations in common sense in real physical support as to what is here in this physical reality, it is not like a baby is born with the knowledge of what everything is. This should be a basic common sense point.” End Quote.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn to accept and allow that Authority has the power to punish without reason and that I must accept it as it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow Authority to Punish and to abuse without having a reason that is within the best interest of all life and that I have within this always just accepted and allowed the world to continue in abuse due to the decisions Authority make in this world even if it is destroying forests and the oceans and killing animals and creating wars, as I have learned to accept and allow that “Authority” knows best and therefore I can “trust” what they are doing even if it is Killing LIFE, as what was taught to me as a child, within the belief that it is for love, that the decisions and actions taken by Authority is done so because the Authority loves me/us and always have our best interest as heart, when in fact it is but only self interest and money that makes the decisions and the only love authority have for me/us is to give them the authority they want/need to do as they please, and this is done easily as long as I/everyone beliefs we are BAD people and deserve to be punished and suffer and that we as the Bad people have no right to speak up, to question and to SAY NO MORE and that we demand change.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that all people have the belief that they are born into sin, thus the belief that we are all BAD people and have no Right to to do anything but subject and give up and give in and be punished as our daily survival, as survival is based on the Idea that you must fight for your food/roof/water because you are to bad to have it simply given to you in a perfect world system such as the Equal Money System.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within and as the belief of myself that I am a bad person and within this belief have the attitude of “I have no right to trust myself, belief in myself, to give a new world to myself that is best for all life” because I am so bad, look at the world, the world is telling me I am so bad all the time, the Media says I am fat the whole time, the Media says I am unhealthy the whole time, the Media says I am not working hard enough the whole time, the Media keeps showing me what I should have had by now if I was a Good Hard working person.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that the world is built and kept the way it is because of people that has been brainwashed and educated to belief they are BAD and thus created Broken characters that keeps the Broken world the way it is.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that as Long as the Media such as the newspapers and magazines and TV shows me perfect clear pictures and advertisements they are in opposite telling me I am not that and thus a bad person if I have not self respect/honor or integrity to not accept and allow bullshit that is only made to capitalize of the billions through deception/manipulation and mind control through constantly putting in ideas/pictures/opinions into the human mind that was never perfected as a part of life and thus is completely vulnerable to anything those with money wants to do with them.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that when I breathe in awareness as myself as the director breathing I can not process thinking (brainwashing/mind control) and thus as long as I am thinking I must realize that I am busy with brainwashing myself and controlling my mind by myself and participating in the religion of self and that this is all a malfunction of the human robot not being perfected in the first seven years of life to what is here and how everything functions as LIFE and thus can and IS used against you for self interest and profit gain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that Breathing is the KEY to stopping all brainwashing and mind control and all of that which isnt me directing and deciding for myself to LIVE as that which is best for all life in ALL ways.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself go into fear and anxiety of Authority to breathe and to stop the thoughts that resonate within me as energy that takes over the body as a resonant possession and to breathe and to bring myself back here and to realize through the breathing that the thoughts is but a creation of myself and that I am the one creating them and thus I can stop them, and to realize that they have no meaning unless I give them meaning as to participate within them and give them power and following them.

I commit myself to when and as I see that I am not breathing that I am in fact within thoughts/mind, to stop and in awareness breathe and be here, to breathe and be here, and to breathe and be here and to continue supporting myself with and as Breathe till the thoughts stop, the same way I created them in space and time I will remove/stop them in space and time through breathing, till only breath remains and I am here as self support for myself within re-birthing myself as Life one and equal.

I commit myself to when and as I see/realize I am not breathing -- to within the understanding of – that when I am thinking I am not breathing but in fact only participating within my internal reality as thoughts/feelings/emotions which is me in the process of creating my own fears/anxiety/stress and thus I can within the knowing apply my knowledge practically through stopping the creation of my fear/anxiety/stress by BREATHING, as I have proven to myself that when I breathe in awareness there is no time within me for feelings/emotions/thoughts as I am Focused on breathing and what is really here as the physical.

Day 131 – Living Commitment – Day 3 of 21

This is a continuation of Day 1 of 21 as there was two parts/sections in that blog, I am not continuing form this section, on the Character of “I am always a Bad person” as one of the main characters that I pin pointed within living the commitment of breathing everyday and how this character actually “robs” me of my breathe.

Quote: “This Character activates around people that I have placed in my mind as “authority” and as better than me – as people that always do better.

So when I am for instance working and doing my stuff and a person comes in that I have placed in my mind as authority and they say something I freeze inside myself and I literally stop breathing, I am in complete anticipation of getting yelled at or being told how bad I am or that I am doing something wrong, this character is so intense that I will literally do “Nothing wrong” for months and when someone comes to me and say something that I have judged as authority in my mind – I will within myself stop and beam all of me into the mind – like taking on battle positions. ‘ End Quote.

Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the “I am always bad” character when and as I am within the presence of someone I have identified within my mind as an Authority, realizing that because I have identified someone else outside of myself as Authority I will always see myself as less than and as Bad within their eyes as I give away my own Authority to Breath and decide who I am for myself in each breathe, realizing that this is a self judgment I have of myself related to past experiences in relation to “authority”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from others within my mind as Authority, instead of seeing and realizing that those that I place as Authority in my mind is about older people that do have more everything than me and that I can learn from, and I realize this isn’t a point of fear of placing someone as more than me making myself less than, this is simply a point of practicality as the person has authority within what I can learn from them till I stand one and equal as them as that Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a negative experience to the word Authority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Fear/emotion to the word Authority and thus every time someone enters my area/space that I have judges as Authority I go into the connections I have made of I must now be in fear, I must now be in a negative experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am in the presence of someone that I have judges/identified as Authority within my world to belief that I must now be in fear – realizing that I must simply BREATH and not accept and allow the emotions/feeling or the thoughts to influence me but to breathe through it as me and to release myself from it one and equal as I am the creator of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belief that I must now be within a negative experience of myself when and as someone is within my space that I have judged/identified as Authority within the belief that they have power over me as the negative connection – realizing that I am the only one giving away my authority within such a belief, and that the person is but a support in my world from whom I can learn and this does not make me more or less or a bad person or a good person.

Memory of Authority experience – aged between 3-7

I am playing in the living room – I am doing something – one of my parents ask me to stop, I do not want to - I do not understand why I am just told , don’t, get away, shut up, leave me alone, I am just told to stop. then the parent threatens me with saying – if you do not stop and my partner come home you will have to deal with my partner, I get threatened with words of what might happen. I suddenly stop in the Fear of knowing what that means as a memory activates in that moment of a past experience/event.

the memory is of me not stopping and getting yelled at – when the other parent gets home he/she is told about the event and the words I hear from listening in on the conversation in secret is – he is such a bad kid, he does not listen, he gets on my nerves, he does not stop – I listen on in fear/anxiety within what is said further – He must be punished and he must learn his lesson, you must smack him – the parent comes to me calling my name, I am frightened and Know it is going to happen, I am going to get smacked, as my name is called I start saying – I don’t want to, I start crying and manipulating in my actions to get out of it, the parent does not give in and uses the following words to get me to co-operate – you know I am doing this because I love you, your mother/father said you must stop and you did not, so now I must teach you a lesson, go to the bathroom and close the door and wait for me – I sit in the bathroom awaiting the punishment, the parent went to fetch a Belt to smack me with – I am in fear/anxiety the whole time, the door opens and I am told to turn around – a I turn around I start feeling the leather belt hitting my bum, I get six shots as it is called six of the best. It is done, I am crying and I feel broken, I hate the parent that was the cause of it, not the parent that hit me as I knew - that parent did not want to do it, he/she was told to, just like me.

I am confused with what love means – is love when you hurt someone and beat them up to show them you care? Is love to react and get angry and to then beat the shit out of something till they obey and conform to your ways. Is love when you Harm life because you have some mental issues and need everything else to fit according to your mental problem and doing this is through harming things/others physically, so to love myself I must constantly beat myself up in self hatred and through punishing myself as being bad..

End of Memory.

So I learned that Authority has the power to punish you without even explaining in detail what was happening, what is happening and why and why was it asked of me to stop and to sit still, or to not scream, or to not touch a certain thing in the house, this gets taught to me only when I am older and all the damage was already done through the parents reactions/emotions/feelings instead of breathing and directing situations in common sense in real physical support as to what is here in this physical reality, it is not like a baby is born with the knowledge of what everything is. This should be a basic common sense point.

To be continued on Self Forgiveness.