Day 404 - Word Sex Part 2

Day 404 – SEX Part 2

Read Day 403 – SEX Part 1 to get a complete over view of what is being continued here.

Looking at the sex educations/impression I got from my child hood years was as follow. I first heard/red the word and then came the reactions/meanings, so my first impression was within how the word was used or reacted towards, it is bad, it is dirty, it is not for children, it is secret, it is special, it is all these things except what it really is and it is something secret, it is something “kids” do not talk about or mention in front of adults as it is an Adult subject.

So what happens then is the Kids go to one another/each other and among the kids there are discussion, miss information based on what has been told/heard/red/seen depending on each child’s “life” there will be a particular influence from this subject. And here among the kids ALL these particular Ideas/opinions/beliefs come together and the kids make a very weird stew of what SEX means and what it is.

Then comes the point of – each one for himself, after these discussion the kids will be by themselves at many points in their life, and when kids are by themselves and can’t really go talk to an Adult or someone about what they just heard, it is kept in their heads/minds and there it becomes one self’s opinions/ideas/beliefs and so connect all this weird stuff to sex. Circling around in one’s mind.

All this is possible because there is a separation between Adults and Children, the adults became contaminated and they know they are contaminated and thus they want the kids to remain kids, stay away from such subjects as sex for as long as possible, and thus the kids are never to speak of sex, mention sex and the parents will never use that word in front of the kids deliberately, maybe not even with each other/partners. 

This is all to show how the secrets begin and when shit is done in secret it becomes dangerous, look at the world, all the sickening things that is related to sex happens in secret, it cannot happen in public, because in public, or in the eye of everyone there will be witnesses and there will be consequences, and it won’t be possible because I know when I have to see shit like that in public happening or about to happen, I will stop it, I will intervene and make sure the person goes away to a correctional facility and only once proven corrected will such a being return to public, and all will know who this person is and he will have to live self-forgiveness.

I am not saying that sex must be done in public, I am saying, lets not create a secret mind about/in relation to sex as this is where the bullshit/abuse flows out from, let all be known to all about sex, NOT porn, sex, what it really is, a Physical action between partners – based on an agreement both made and all is aware of this agreement, so that we all know no one is fucking around – and thus sex is really simple from that perspective. 

Back to the main point - so here I am looking at the WORD sex, what have I connected to sex as a child, that first impression, that moment/memory that was pressed into me and thus defined sex for me, and then I accepted and allowed it to be so. This first moment that I can remember clearly was mentioned in the previous blog.

Self - forgiveness   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the first time I heard and spoke the word sex there was nothing connected to it but the curiosity to know/understand the word. and everyone’s behaviors/reactions towards the word, and thus what I then afterwards connected to the word sex is not real but all simply opinions/beliefs/ideas of and from other peoples mind’s and not based on real facts as to what sex is/mean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word naughty as a definition of what sex is to the word sex through how I saw others talk/mention it as if it is naughty and must be kept quiet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the IDEA/belief that I must keep quite within using the word SEX as it might get me in trouble and thus only use it around those that I know can’t get me in trouble, such as friends or in secret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the experience of “getting in trouble” to the word sex when and as it is spoken out by a child and the adults may hear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a curiosity towards the word sex and thus what sex is in the end, through how I saw others talk/mention the word sex, thus energetically being influenced by others.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see that when I spoke out the word SEX for the first time without having a clue what it yet means that there was nothing attached to it, it was just a word that still needed to be defined and thus the word sex is not wrong but what we as humans connect to it as our thoughts as Ideas/opinions/beliefs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into Fear when and as I said the word sex out loud and all the other kids/people around me shouted shut up don’t say that so loud, the teacher will hear you, not even knowing what I had to fear yet, but just that it was something to fear and that there will be authorities involved that will punish me for this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a fearful energetic experience towards the word sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a emotional energetic charge towards the word sex of it being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what others have shown me as their behaviors and sounds towards and within the word sex and made it my own, believing that what others connect within a word must be what the word stands for/mean or imply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear speaking and using the word as a normal word as all words to speak as a reference to something in public or in front of others believing that it will and might trigger a opinions/belief/idea and thus a reaction within them that might cause conflict, seeing and realizing that this is simply my reactions as my beliefs/ideas/opinions that I have created in relation to the word sex from past experiences/influences that I am projection onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ban the word sex from my word usage and thus always avoid any such topics that might come us, as I have defined the word sex as sacred/secret and not a subject to bring up, as I will always feel I am a kid in relation to this word as I have defined this word when I was a kid.

To be continued.

Day 403 - SEX Part 1

SEX is a very very extreme point within this world and how sex in fact is a major factor within this world, and what decisions people make each day, if not in each moment towards a future outcome or current outcome. 

I remember as a teenager, my every move/decision was and came from the starting point of sex, since money wasn’t an issue back then as my parents took care of that for me while being in school etc, sex took over my life, meaning – I was hunting/scavenging and looking for opportunities and moments where there is a possibility of sex happening all the time. And that is how I remember ALL my friends; yes it includes girls as well that was my friends. 

So what am I writing about, I am writing about the WORD SEX – because the word sex has all these meanings attached to it  from all those past memories and experiences and influences from family/school/friends/society.

Then there are even more and bigger causes to the problem we are facing today with SEX, which is culture and religion and family values that are all based on Ideas/beliefs/opinions and not on facts, where for instance the child will be taught that SEX can only happen after marriage, or weird shit like sex is dangerous with lots of stories and bullshit to back that up, or then there is the preserving your virginity thing that is imprinted into all males and females from the people that has gone before them, because of mistakes they have made, already implying we will make the same mistakes and thus we are the mistakes. 

And there are more of this going around all around – I remember the first time I ever heard the word sex and saw the word sex – I was eleven, our school class  went on a trip to a fun park in a bus we hired. As we all were sitting in the bus and talking and playing and just being kids, I heard some kids laughing, they then turned around and said hey guys, to the guys sitting behind me, look at this, they pointed at the back of one of the seats and said – it says SEX, and they all giggled, I looked at it and I was like, mmm what does that mean, so I asked out loud to the kids at the front, WHAT DOES SEX MEAN – almost everyone in the buss looked at me and said sssss almost immediately, the teacher stood up and said, BE QUITE, my friend next to me then said, Gian don’t you know what that means? I said NO, what does it mean, he said, sex is how babies are made, but it is also when a Male’s thing is put into a females thing and they go up and down. 

I was – ok so that’s it, he said yes, that is it, then we had conversations about it and what his cousins told him etc etc, and since that day I had the impression I can never say the word SEX, and if I do it must be in secret, and that it must be a secret thing, and that I can get into a lot of trouble talking about it. 

That is an example of what’s existent within cultures in relation to the word Sex and thus the act of sex and what has been placed onto sex by an entire society. 

When I see/sound the word Sex I hear– SEE  X – seeing the unknown, and this basically makes sense to me looking back into my past – SEX was this ONE thing that was Unknown. Educations did not teach me properly – the educations in general left out way to many gaps for anything else to take its place as Imagination and creating alternate realities about SEX. making shit up.

From what I have learned in school in math class is that X represented the unknown, anything can replace X, X is just a place holder – yes there is a math that tells us what the X will be or must be replaced by or to where the X must be moved, YET if your math isn’t good, then making mistakes with this X is eXtemely easy and will lead to consequences. In this case the Math which is taught by those that has gone before us and basically the whole educational system from home to school is… maybe there is no education. And we are just parroting shit. And thus teaching is nothing real about sex, just the basic shit and leaving everything else up to the imagination.

So here comes the purpose of finding the Unknown and what is there, why is it the unknown, why is it called private parts, why are those parts always covered, see this is like a perfect set up for anyone to make money on this point of not being educated, create pron, it exposed everything, it reveals the X (unknown) and it addddddddsssss a lot of Bullshit that fucks with everyone that watches it. 

Till here for now

To be continued.

Day 402 – Discipline and self-discipline Part 4

Day 399 - Discipline Part 1
Day 400 - Discipline Part 2
Day 401 - Discipline Part 3

When and as I see that I am moving/directing my breath in a way that isn’t effective and supportive, I stop and breathe, I commit myself to check my discipline in the moment within directing my breathe effectively and constructive, through checking what is my plan in the moment, what is it that I am busy with and doing, what can I do, I lay out the plan for myself and to then follow through/execute the plan till it is done, as that is my discipline.

When and as I wake up I commit myself to discipline myself to make my first moment in the morning a breath and not a thought or thoughts, and when and as I see that I start with a thought I stop and I breathe, seeing and realizing that self-discipline starts within what I accept and allowed within me and that outside of me as who I am determines what I do how I move/direct me in each moment.

I commit myself to check myself and if I am planning things to do and to give myself direction, instead of waiting for myself to simply fall into doing random stuff that comes up.

When and as I see myself doing random stuff that is of the old pattern of how I spend my time, I stop and I breathe and I give myself a plan, this id the plan, the discipline and I follow the plan and I do not accept any thoughts/feelings/emotions to move/direct me in any other way and thus to use breathing to correct the old pattern that I have designed and created as a system within me through not following automations and to be self-disciplined within moving myself within the plan.

I see and realize that sticking to the plan must be within practical considerations and common sense – where common sense is that I can have a plan and I can be disciplined within the plan and be self-disciplined within following the plan, but when and as another point arises within my day that takes priority over my current plan, then common sense is to redirect myself within a new plan to get the new point done, as this is the plan in the moment and thus I see and realize that I must be flexible within my breath and to move within consideration of all that is here. As self-discipline is to direct each moment within each breathe and to make a plan in each breathe/moment that is new and to not hold onto the old and the past to determine each moment.

When and as I see myself creating a point of self-interest within being disciplined where my discipline becomes a point of not considering all that is here and only my own goals and my own time and my own things that I can/want/need to do, I stop and I breathe and I focus on self-discipline within breathing, as the plan within breathing is to be HERE at all times as the physical, as the physical changes and has ways of changing plans and thus I must be like water within the physical, moving and directing myself according to what is here as breathe as the ultimate self-discipline which guides me within being disciplines within all other areas where there is no mind, no energy no reactions/fears/limitation and me as the physical as life stands and thus accordingly be self-disciplined. 

I see and realize that self-discipline is the key to discipline – as there is the discipline to start something and to finish it then the self-discipline is to when and as the plan is interrupted or short cut then I must be able to be flexible and to be disciplined within stopping what I am doing and to change the plan in a single moment with no reactions/fear and to then follow through on the new plan and to still come back to the old plan and finish that, yet the self-discipline as breathing will be the consistent within who I am and how I move/direct myself and reality when and as reality may/can/will change sometimes as I am not the only being here on earth or the only influence here on this PLANet and thus self-discipline is the key where I move/direct/live within a principal, where the principal of doing what is best for all life in all ways is my Plan in each breathe.