Day 534 - Saving for the future when there is no future to save for, unless we save the future

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that money is currently the life force within this world that provides people with the necessary resource to buy and or move other resources to gain a portion of life to sustain themselves as a life force.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am more than money in the sense that I am better than the money system that exist here and now and to within this disregard the power money currently have within and on this reality as I am placing myself “above” money and that I am morally better than money, yet when I am hungry I require money to buy food to sustain me, the same as everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the design of money and what money currently “means” according to the believe in money that we have given it power with, within this world, where money literally decides everything as it exist now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the “power of believe” we have given money within this world, within me and to within this blind myself from seeing and realizing that money has the value according to the believe we as humans have given it, and when I look around me I can see that the believe invested within me in relation to money is literally Between LIFE and Death, as I know money currently gives me the “right” to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can have a love hate relationship towards money as my free will/choice, yet money does not care if I love it or hate it, it is currently required to do anything in this reality, including using money to change this system/world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist embracing money and accepting the current believed “fact” that money has the value of life, and to within this create a struggle within me and within m life working/dealing with money as believe it is evil and that I must not have lots of it, thus compromising myself from actually doing something practical with money to bring world change through the use of money within what its current power is within this world according to the humans believe given to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the money I have is MY money and to within this believe hold onto money as if it is MINE and to not share the money (life substance) with all equally – seeing and realizing that it is because I haven’t embraced the current believed fact that humans have created and connected to money as the substance of LIFE, that if we start seeing money as the manifestation of life force within this world we can look at money differently where LIFE force is the right to all life equally, and thus we must take money as the current life force and give to all freely to also have their life force to live within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that if I hold on to money in fear and paranoia of the future as MY money, that I am actually holding onto life force that should be moving towards and back into life to support and assist all life, and that in my actions of holding onto “life force” as money in fear of not having it, I am manifesting that exact fear for others to life and experience, thus doing exactly onto others as I would not like to be done onto me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with and towards money of fear, instead of movement and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship with money of MY money instead of creating a relationship towards money as in LIFE force and that where I place/put my money as life force, that is what I am supporting as LIFE and for life to grow and to expand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by saving and keeping money to myself as MY money for a future that isn’t here yet, that I will be save, even when considering the state of the world and where we are heading, that there is no future for anyone, unless all the people in the world put their life force together and to push this life force in the same direction to change this world, then, that can really be the only way we must spend the money/life force we have to secure an actual future.

Day 475 – Where is my Life Force?

Tonight I started writing this blog from a negative point of view, I did not slow down and I did not breathe to even notice what I was doing automatically. So I did slow down and I did breathe, I took that step after I did not take it, I deleted what I have already written and I really took a look at what am I doing right now, who am I within my mind at this moment? I noticed I was in a negative judgmental state about myself.

It is, as if every time I am assessing myself in the present moment I do so by taking my entire life, my entire past, but only all of that which is negative and bring it HERE and I place judgment onto myself, and then from within doing so I am actually placing this mountain on my shoulders, and then after I have done that I now feel I have enough to write about, I mean just LOOK at all the things wrong with me. Now I have good writing material.

I wanted to write about where is my life force – and tonight I want to write about where my life force is, I am going to write about me and my life force, instead of me and nagging about where is it, why do I not have it – because I am actually looking at it that way within my mind, so that is all that I can see, ignoring ALL my of me, denying myself as LIFE force here.

I am here, regardless of my form, I am here, in living or death, I am here, I am the life that surrounds me and that I am, I am not separate from anything here, the force of LIFE is who I am. I have not yet realized this or lived it at all, yet I am pushing myself within a process of rebirth, and as we know giving birth is a though and painful thing, taking acre of a baby can also be very hard. Yet in time, in breathe it is done eventually, we don’t know when – but I am making peach within the fact that it will be done I simply continue pushing till it’s done.

Pushing with the flow and directing the flow, not pushing as in forcing anything, to force something as I have been shown is to go against what is here and works at this moment and will only end up harming and breaking.

I have been pushing myself for the past few weeks beyond limited thinking patterns that has been conditioned onto me or by me, about how I must act or behave within or about certain topics or scenarios or events, and I have taken myself into the point of creation. Let me give an example.

Three nights ago I did not get much sleep at all, due to Cesar (my son) not sleeping well during the night due to teething and going through a lot of pain, my wife did not get much sleep either, even less than me, yet the next day I had to go to work – so in the morning I woke up very tired and a bit late, within this I felt stress coming up within me as I had to be at the office already for our usual morning meeting – this was me following my usual thinking pattern and how I must experience myself within it all.

As I go to the office I sat down and I had to wait for the others to arrive, so it turned out I wasn’t the latest – in that time I just sat there and breathed, in the moment of breathing I took my entire day within me and I could already see how it was playing out, me getting tired and feeling shitty all day, not being able to focus or take in all the required information and act upon it.

Within seeing this I decided that it isn’t necessary, because I can see it it means I can change it, I decided that I will instead experience myself differently, in fact I will decide for the rest of the day how I experience myself – thank you very much, and this did not mean that I now have to avoid or ignore or sidestep certain people, it meant that I took the responsibility of how I experience myself within me and I made it my own, as it is.

So during the day my situation changes, people change and where I am change and usually all these changes influence how I experience myself, in other words how much life force I have, because I have connected life force to how I experience myself. And every time thing change I would notice how I go into the reconditioned thinking patterns and experiences, but I made the decision to decide how I experience myself, so each time I took the moment and I decided for myself.

Eventually the day turned out okay and that night I was only able to go to bed at 12:30 pm, because I did not start my day off with a memory of the night before or let it influence my day or who I am, I stood in each moment new and breathing, even if the predetermined thinking took over for a while I eventually moved and directed myself out and stood as my own directive principle.

I am still doing this within all areas of my life, till I stand as the only thing moving me.

For instance – I make an agreement with myself – when I go home I do not turn up at home tired, I am alive and awake to participate with what is at home, and this agreement has been quite supportive and how I participate within/during my days, because it makes me re-evaluate what I am participating within as who I am, is it the mind or is it HERE as the life force that I am.